The Daily Life of a Male God Teasing a Shou - Chapter 10

Chapter 10

After walking for a while, they came across a particularly bustling stall. Curious, the two squeezed inside and found it was a lantern riddle guessing activity.

Bai Jiangnan: “Boss, how do you play this?”

The boss said, “Simple! Buy a lantern, guess a riddle on the spot. If you guess it within one minute, you can participate in a lucky draw game. Just by participating, you get a serving of secret-recipe osmanthus cake! Young man, see any lantern you like? It’s great for a girlfriend too! Our lanterns are well worth the money!”

Bai Jiangnan looked at Yan Yifan. “Which one do you like?”

Yan Yifan glanced at him and quickly looked away. “Whatever.”

Bai Jiangnan looked at the rack full of lanterns and pointed to a lop-eared rabbit one. “That one.”

The boss gave a loud “Aye!”, lifted a pole to take the rabbit lantern down, and said, “Squeeze the rabbit’s left ear; there’s a riddle in its mouth.”

Bai Jiangnan nudged Yan Yifan: “You squeeze it.”

Yan Yifan gave it a squeeze, and sure enough, the rabbit’s mouth extended. A red slip of paper unfurled with a rustle, revealing hand-written brush calligraphy: One of the Seven Fairies gets married off.

Yan Yifan read it once but couldn’t think of the answer. He was hopeless at this; as a child, he had never won a single riddle or brain teaser.

He looked toward Bai Jiangnan.

The boss said with a grin, “This one isn’t easy to guess. It’s an idiom. Young man, think about it some more?”

After thinking for a moment, Bai Jiangnan said, “Six gods without a master ($Liù shén wú zhǔ$).” (Note: In Chinese, “Six fairies/gods remain, no master/husband.”)

The boss gave a thumbs up: “Impressive indeed!”

Bai Jiangnan looked at Yan Yifan, who laughed and said, “Not bad!”

They took the lantern and the token given by the boss to the nearby lucky draw game stage. There were already several people by the stage, mostly couples, with a few others bringing children or friends.

The staff member saw the token and lantern and said with a smile, “Here for the lucky draw?”

Yan Yifan asked, “Yes, what are they doing?” He pointed toward the stage.

The staff member said, “This is a lucky draw, but also a game. The slips will say First, Second, or Third prize, or the name of a game. If you draw a prize, you take it directly. If it’s a game name, you have to play the game. Only after participating can you get the participation prize: secret-recipe osmanthus cake.”

Yan Yifan looked at the stage; a few people were doing a three-legged race. Since they hadn’t practiced and the game was very informal, the stage was full of mishaps, making the audience below double over with laughter.

Yan Yifan asked, “What are the games?”

The staff member said, “It’s no fun if I tell you.” He led the two to the draw box.

Bai Jiangnan signaled for Yan Yifan to do the honors. Yan Yifan reached in, fished out a slip, opened it, and froze.

Bai Jiangnan leaned over. “What does it say?”

After reading it, the two looked at the staff member and asked, “What does this mean?”

The staff member looked at their slip, then shifted his gaze back to them, unable to stop smiling. “You two… please follow me.”

Baffled, the two were led to where several other people were standing. Everyone’s eyes turned toward them, and Yan Yifan had a bad premonition.

Sure enough, the staff member introduced them while stifling a laugh: “What you’ve drawn is ‘Zhu Bajie carries his bride.’ As the name suggests, one person carries the other on their back, competing to walk across wooden posts. After crossing, the two drink a nuptial cup of wine ($Jiāo bēi jiǔ$). It’s red wine with very low alcohol content; you won’t get drunk, so don’t worry. Just in time, our five groups are complete. Yours is the third game up next. Get ready.”

Although Yan Yifan was somewhat prepared mentally, he couldn’t help but exclaim: “Actually carrying someone?” Of course, the bigger shock was the nuptial cup? He stole a glance at Bai Jiangnan.

Everyone looked at them with well-meaning smiles.

Yan Yifan cursed under his breath and looked at Bai Jiangnan. “Let’s go. What’s so great about osmanthus cake anyway?”

Bai Jiangnan: “Since we’re here, let’s play. It looks quite interesting. Unless?” Bai Jiangnan’s nonchalant attitude shifted as he looked at Yan Yifan and asked, “Do you mind?”

Yan Yifan rolled his eyes and asked, “Then will you be the bride?”

The corners of Bai Jiangnan’s mouth curled into a smile: “Naturally, you will be.”

Yan Yifan knew it. As a weak otaku, how could he ever compete with the eight-pack-ab-sporting Bai Jiangnan in a situation like this? But being the “bride” in Zhu Bajie carries his bride was so embarrassing!

Bai Jiangnan: “I don’t mind either way, but I weigh 80kg (160 jin). You…” His gaze pointedly swept over Yan Yifan’s arms, meaning: Can you even carry me?

Yan Yifan: “…”

The staff member brought over a box of colorful flowers and folding fans, giving each group one flower and one fan. Yan Yifan looked at the bright red flower the size of a fist shoved into his hand, then at the fan in Bai Jiangnan’s hand. His bad premonition grew clearer. He asked, “What are these for?”

The staff member glanced at him while stifling a laugh and cleared his throat to announce loudly: “The folding fans just handed out are for every ‘Zhu Bajie.’ During the race, you must tuck it behind your collar. As for the flowers,” the staff member paused and smiled, “every ‘bride’ gets one. When you go on stage later, you must pin it to your head.”

Yan Yifan: …Damn it! He knew nothing good would come of this!

Bai Jiangnan turned to Yan Yifan: “Bride, let me pin it for you.”

The crowd’s gaze swept over, the smiles even more obvious this time. Yan Yifan even heard several people burst out laughing.

Yan Yifan glared at Bai Jiangnan and said through gritted teeth, “No need!”

Before long, it was their turn to go up. The staff set up five extra-long wooden platforms, each only wide enough for one foot.

The host introduced them on stage: “This round’s game is called ‘Zhu Bajie carries his bride.’ As the name suggests, it’s a small game for pairs. Let’s look at our participants.”

Everyone walked to the red starting line. The host’s gaze swept around and landed on Yan Yifan. “Are these two gentlemen a pair?”

Yan Yifan: [Radiating coldness].jpg

Bai Jiangnan grinned: “Yes.”

The host gave a long “Oh” and said, “Well, good luck to you.”

Yan Yifan: What is with that attitude! So frustrating!!!!

The audience below was already dying of laughter, with many people cheering and hooting.

After a brief introduction, the host stood to the side and said, “It’s time to start. Ready!”

Bai Jiangnan crouched slightly in front of Yan Yifan, and Yan Yifan hopped on with a thud.

Bai Jiangnan bounced him up and down once.

His hands were right on Yan Yifan’s thighs, and Yan Yifan’s chest was pressed tightly against Bai Jiangnan’s back. At this moment, his heart was already a total mess, and he cried out: “What are you doing!”

Bai Jiangnan: “Just checking how many pounds you are. You’re quite light?”

Yan Yifan’s cheeks felt hot. He looked at the people all around holding up phones to film and thought: It’s over, it’s all over. This is definitely going to go viral on Weibo tomorrow morning! I’ve lost face all the way to the Pacific! What an idiot!

Host: “Three, two, one, start!”

Yan Yifan only felt that Bai Jiangnan’s arms were incredibly strong. Carrying him, he stepped steadily onto the wooden platform and then moved forward swiftly and lightly.

Yan Yifan was so nervous his heart was about to jump out: “Slow down! Don’t fall off!”

Bai Jiangnan patted his butt. “Don’t worry, bride.”

Yan Yifan snapped in embarrassment: “…What are you doing hitting my butt!”

Bai Jiangnan: “Hmm? Oh? Did I hit your butt? My bad~”

Yan Yifan: “…Stop calling me bride!”

Bai Jiangnan said in a dejected tone: “You are my bride right now! Didn’t you want to pursue me and be my girlfriend?”

Yan Yifan was so angry he wanted to punch him, but he couldn’t help thinking: He’s such a flirt. If I were a girl, I’d probably have been won over by him long ago!

Bai Jiangnan returned to his normal voice: “Are you angry?”

Yan Yifan gave a cold snort.

Bai Jiangnan: “Don’t be so petty. How about this: I’ll give you all of the secret-recipe osmanthus cake later.”

Yan Yifan: “Who wants your secret-recipe osmanthus cake!”

Bai Jiangnan: “Oh, so you don’t want it? Then give it all to me? I actually really want to eat it.”

Yan Yifan: Don’t anyone stop me! Let me give him a good beating!

Bai Jiangnan’s body swayed slightly. Yan Yifan: “Hey! Be careful!”

Bai Jiangnan laughed: “Caring about me that much? Don’t worry, bride! I’ll definitely carry you across safely!”

Yan Yifan: [Vomiting blood/System crash].

“Go! Go! Go! Who will be first? Ah! They’ve rushed across!” The host cheered excitedly.

Yan Yifan patted Bai Jiangnan: “Hurry up and put me down!”

Bai Jiangnan put Yan Yifan down, and the two quickly picked up the wine glasses on the table. The two of them drank a nuptial cup of wine together.

The laughter from the crowd reached its climax. Yan Yifan’s expression was a bit strange; he stole a glance at Bai Jiangnan, not quite daring to look him in the eye.

The host walked over and asked, “Wow! These two are in first place! Anything you’d like to say?”

Bai Jiangnan smiled slightly: “Wishing everyone a Happy Wine Valentine’s Day!”

Yan Yifan said coldly: “Happy Wine Valentine’s Day.”

The host smiled brilliantly and said to the audience, “Then let’s wish them a Happy Wine Valentine’s Day too, shall we?”

The audience was swaying with laughter, their voices booming: “Happy Wine Valentine’s Day!” Amidst the noise, a few shrill female voices cried out: “Get together! Get together! Aaaaaah!”

Bai Jiangnan was all smiles, as if he didn’t understand anything, yet also as if he understood everything.

Yan Yifan’s aura grew even gloomier as he shot daggers at the host: Why does this host love stirring the pot so much!

Everyone laughed even more joyfully.

The host gave each group a small participation gift and then handed Yan Yifan a bouquet of fiery red roses. “This is a special reward for first place. May all the lovers in the world eventually become husband and wife.”

Yan Yifan: ==