The Cannon Fodder Was Pampered By The Tyrant - Chapter 17

“If you want to… it’s not impossible.”

Si Yan had changed.

This was Lin Yutian’s recent discovery.

Ever since she realized Si Yan’s feelings for her, Lin Yutian had gone out of her way to be difficult and bratty. Yet, Si Yan didn’t get angry; she took it all in stride.

Lin Yutian’s antics included, but were not limited to, trying to start arguments. However, every time she tried to pick a fight, Si Yan would wind her in circles until Lin Yutian ended up red-faced and speechless.

Usually, Si Yan was busy with state affairs. Lin Yutian complained that she was bored and stifled in the palace. Consequently, the next morning, Lin Yutian woke up to find that Si Yan had arranged a tutor for her to oversee her studies. Si Yan had smiled and told her she would quiz her in the evening and if she failed, she shouldn’t blame Si Yan for using “other methods” as punishment. Terrified, Lin Yutian began studying from dawn till dusk.

Initially, she found those “ghost-like” characters impossible to learn. Besides, she planned on going home eventually, so what was the point?

But whenever she saw Si Yan reviewing memorials and realized she couldn’t understand a single word, Lin Yutian felt a sense of frustration. Previously, she had zero curiosity regarding Si Yan’s life, but now, for some reason, she suddenly wanted to be able to read Si Yan’s handwriting.

And so, she began to put in the effort.

Lin Yutian put down her brush and let the tutor take a look.

The Grand Tutor, surnamed Xu, was a gentle middle-aged woman. She nodded and smiled as she looked over the work. “Great progress. Let’s rest for the duration of one incense stick.”

Lin Yutian felt a flicker of joy. She handed Grand Tutor Xu a small sweet pastry and asked, “Teacher, have you been teaching in the palace for many years?”

The two had bonded quickly over their shared love for sweets.

Grand Tutor Xu took a sip of peach blossom cake and nodded gently. “About twenty years or so.”

Lin Yutian’s eyes darted around. “Then… was Si…I mean, the Emperor, also taught by you?”

At this, Grand Tutor Xu’s expression became subtle. “In a way, yes; in another way, no.”

She opened her lips, looking conflicted, but eventually spoke. “Because back then, Her Majesty was not permitted to study. The late Emperor’s original plan was to send her away for a political marriage when she was eleven.”

Lin Yutian was shocked. “Eleven?! They were crazy!”

Grand Tutor Xu had grown used to Lin Yutian’s way of speaking and simply nodded. “Before Her Majesty ascended the throne, such things were common. The youngest princess was once sent for marriage at age eight. Before that, all princesses were required to study the Admonitions for Women, the four arts, and embroidery.”

Lin Yutian’s expression turned solemn. “Did she have to learn those too?”

Grand Tutor Xu looked both pained and helpless. “She didn’t. She tore that copy of Admonitions for Women to pieces right in front of the late Emperor.”

“As a result, she was punished with six months of confinement. Who knew that during that time, she would frequently climb over the walls to the schoolroom just to secretly listen to my lectures?”

She pointed to a narrow, cramped corner. “Right around there, behind a small curtain. She crouched there for half a year. Back then, many students would skip class due to illness or sleep during lessons, but she was the only one there every day arriving earliest and leaving latest.”

Hearing this, Lin Yutian felt as if someone was squeezing her heart. She asked hoarsely, “What… happened after that?”

“Later, Her Majesty was discovered. The late Emperor was furious,” Xu said. “From then on, her confinement grew stricter, but she continued to read and practice martial arts daily. I used the excuse of visiting her to bring her books, we did that for several years. Later, when war broke out and everyone was at their wits’ end, Her Majesty stood forward. She was only eleven at the time.”

Lin Yutian bit her lip, her fingers unconsciously clutching her clothes.

“Everyone thought she was talking nonsense, but in the end, that war was actually won,” Grand Tutor Xu said with a hint of pride. “Afterward, she was given great responsibility, but it wasn’t in her own name, it was under the name of her elder brother.”

Lin Yutian felt indignant on Si Yan’s behalf. “Why?”

“Because since ancient times, men have been the heirs. No matter how much she did, no one would know it was her. Everything she did was to provide a stepping stone for someone else.”

Grand Tutor Xu sighed. “Even so, the man’s jealousy was too strong. Fearing she would become a threat, he ordered her assassination. At the same time, another great war broke out…”

She paused for a moment. “Later, Her Majesty returned to the palace and seized total power. But too few people trusted her, so during that period, she killed many people with her own hands. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say the palace ran red with blood. Consequently, rumors spread that she was a bloodthirsty tyrant. Many rebels wanted her dead. For the first year or so, she had almost no time to sleep, having to be on guard every second. I heard from the Prince that even now, she cannot sleep peacefully.”

Lin Yutian felt a heavy ache in her chest. She hadn’t realized Si Yan’s past was so bitter.

Grand Tutor Xu had an objective in saying these things today.

Although the previous punishment of the maid had made everyone in the palace fearful of discussing Lin Yutian and Si Yan, the people nearby saw everything clearly. Xu had agreed to come here to see what kind of girl Lin Yutian was for Si Yan’s sake. If she were someone who would bring ruin to the country, Xu had a thousand ways to separate them.

Lin Yutian had such a beautiful and innocent face that Xu initially thought she might be a difficult person to deal with. After all, when she first entered the room, she saw Lin Yutian arguing with Si Yan.

“I told you, I don’t want to study!” Lin Yutian sat in the chair, arms crossed. Having to study in the real world was one thing, but why here too?

Then, Xu saw her student who had been cold and somber to everyone since childhood, now wearing a smile on her brow. “Didn’t you say you were bored in the palace?”

“Being bored doesn’t mean I want to study!” Lin Yutian looked aggrieved. “You’re just torturing me!”

“But when I ask what you want to do, you won’t say.”

“I want to leave you.”

“Request denied. Pick another.”

Grand Tutor Xu thought Si Yan’s patience would end there. Instead, the two bickered like children for half an hour. When Xu finally entered, Lin Yutian was drinking water for a “halftime break.”

She had expected Lin Yutian to be hostile, but the girl who had just been shouting at the Emperor stood up somewhat awkwardly and greeted her politely: “Hello, Grand Tutor Xu.”

The arrogance she showed before Si Yan was nowhere to be seen.

During their lessons, it was the same. Lin Yutian clearly wasn’t naturally gifted or highly educated. For the first few days, she studied with tears in her eyes but never showed her frustration to Xu instead, she worked hard on her own. After discovering Xu liked sweets, she proactively brought her pastries every day.

Grand Tutor Xu was only human, it was impossible not to soften toward Lin Yutian. Gradually, she realized Lin Yutian was just a good, simple-hearted girl, and she was a good match for Si Yan. However, seeing their interactions lately, she noticed that both clearly had feelings for each other but refused to say it.

So, after much thought, she decided to tell Lin Yutian about Si Yan’s past. As expected, Lin Yutian’s expression became very heavy.

“So, the environment Si Yan grew up in meant she never learned how to express emotion,” Xu said, tidying her books. “If she is willing to give so much of her time to one person, it means she truly likes them very much.”

Because of those words, Lin Yutian almost forgot to say goodbye to her teacher.

The impact of Xu’s words was too great. How could Si Yan like her? Was the teacher mistaken?

While Lin Yutian was doodling in her notebook and lost in thought, someone flicked her forehead. A casual voice rang out, “What are you dazing off for?”

Lin Yutian covered her head and glared at the culprit. Si Yan had little to do today and was in a good mood. She arched an eyebrow. “You dare glare at me?”

“Who told you to flick my head out of nowhere?” Lin Yutian held out her hands. “And I wasn’t dazing off. My hands are sore from writing so much today.”

She meant it as an accusation of Si Yan’s strictness, but Si Yan misinterpreted it as a request for a hug.

Lin Yutian struggled in her arms, her face flushing. “Let me down!”

Si Yan smirked. “Didn’t you miss me?”

Lin Yutian scrambled down, refusing to give her a single glance. “Who missed you? I barely have time to keep up with my studies.”

Then, she couldn’t help but peek at Si Yan, her gaze landing on Si Yan’s sleeve. She cleared her throat. “How… how was your day?”

Si Yan leaned down to face her. “The sun must have risen in the west. Ayu is actually initiating concern for me.”

Lin Yutian’s ears felt hot. “I’m not concerned. I’m just… asking.”

Si Yan couldn’t help but laugh. “I see. Since Ayu asked, I am naturally in an excellent mood.” She tilted her face slightly. “If Ayu would take the initiative to kiss me, it might be even better.”

Lin Yutian was exasperated by Si Yan’s ability to take an inch and go a mile. She backed away warily. “I think you’re fine just the way you are.”

Before she could take more than a few steps, Si Yan grabbed her wrist and pulled her close, pressing a warm kiss against her lips. Lin Yutian had just eaten peach blossom cake, so her mouth tasted of flowers.

Si Yan chuckled. “Since Ayu is unwilling, it’s the same if I take the initiative.”

Lin Yutian covered her mouth. “You can’t kiss me anymore.”

Si Yan leaned down and pecked the back of her hand. “Mm.”

“…”

So rebellious.

But today, Lin Yutian surprisingly couldn’t find it in her to get angry. Especially after hearing what Si Yan had gone through.

Lin Yutian only lost focus for a few seconds, but Si Yan instantly caught the shift. “What is it? Why the long face?”

Lin Yutian bit her lip, looking at Si Yan’s face and wondering if Grand Tutor Xu had lied to her. If Si Yan had a sleep disorder, she certainly didn’t show it.

“If you don’t want me to kiss you, don’t look at me with those eyes,” Si Yan said, looking down at her.

Lin Yutian snapped back to reality and quickly looked away. “I just looked at you for a second! Stop overthinking everything!”

What is wrong with Si Yan? Everything leads to ‘that’ with her! And here she was, wanting to show some concern!

Lin Yutian used to wonder why Si Yan had the energy to mess with her every day. After hearing Xu’s words, she suspected Si Yan had been repressed for so long that she’d turned “perverted.”

…But thinking about it, Si Yan really was quite pitiful. She had no way to relax, so she could only rely on these interactions to vent.

With this thought, Lin Yutian’s gaze toward Si Yan softened into pity. After a fierce internal struggle, she whispered, “But… if you want to today, it’s not like I can’t let you kiss me.”

Si Yan’s eyes flickered. She pressed Lin Yutian against the desk. “Why so proactive today?” Asking about her day, letting her hug her… This feeling… wasn’t bad. In fact, it was more exciting than when Si Yan initiated it herself.

Lin Yutian was actually a bit scared. Her instinct told her that “that kind of thing” probably wouldn’t be very comfortable. But looking at Si Yan’s young, beautiful face and those predatory eyes, her heart began to race uncontrollably.

Grand Tutor Xu’s words echoed in her mind. Being sent away at a young age, having no one to be kind to her, finding a way to survive through sheer diligence… Living a life that seemed free but was actually burdened by crimes that weren’t hers.

Lin Yutian felt an inexplicable sourness in her heart. She couldn’t describe the feeling, but Si Yan’s demands didn’t seem as terrifying or unreasonable anymore. Maybe Si Yan just needed an outlet. Maybe once she vented, she wouldn’t “like” her anymore, and she could be free.

Lin Yutian made up a thousand excuses for herself.

Her silence was normal to Si Yan, who just enjoyed seeing Lin Yutian’s lively, feisty side.

“I was just teas…”

Before Si Yan could finish, she heard Lin Yutian’s slightly trembling voice: “If you want to… I’m not unwilling.”

Anyway, Si Yan had provided for her for so long. Lin Yutian felt she should give something back. If Si Yan just wanted to vent, she could make a concession. She didn’t like girls anyway, and it wasn’t like they hadn’t slept together before. Doing it again seemed… okay.

Si Yan remained still.

A sense of shame suddenly washed over Lin Yutian. What did I just say? Talk about a slip of the tongue!

“I… I thought about it again. Never mind,” she said hurriedly, trying to hop off the desk. But Si Yan grabbed her shoulders, pinning her against her chest.

Si Yan sniffed Lin Yutian’s neck carefully. There was no smell of wine. That meant Lin Yutian was stone-cold sober when she said it. But she knew Lin Yutian wouldn’t proactively offer intimacy, she must have something on her mind.

“Who said never mind?” Si Yan leaned down, lightly biting the soft flesh of Lin Yutian’s neck. “Right here?”

“Ayu actually likes doing such things with me in the schoolroom.”

Lin Yutian’s whole body tensed. Si Yan’s words were too suggestive, and images she’d rather not see began to float through her mind. As Si Yan’s hand moved toward her thigh, Lin Yutian reached out to stop her.

Si Yan’s eyes were darkened with desire. “Regretting it?”

Even after all this time, Lin Yutian couldn’t get used to Si Yan’s intensity. Even if the woman seemed playful normally, the aura she exuded during these moments was terrifying.

“…No.” Lin Yutian lightly gripped Si Yan’s clothes. “Can I… can I have some wine?”

She was afraid she wouldn’t do well, and she was afraid Si Yan would be too rough. If she was drunk, maybe she wouldn’t feel it as much.

Si Yan’s movements stopped for a heartbeat. Her burning gaze suddenly turned cold.

Then, she gave a very soft laugh.

“Of course.”