The Beautiful Pariah Thought He Could Be Loved - Chapter 38.1

Chapter 38.1

The dust motes drifted slowly in the air. The two of them stood poised and composed, making the dazed Xin Qishu look entirely out of place between them.

His body no longer felt like his own; Xin Qishu felt like a transient passenger floating within a withered hull. Even with the chair beneath him, he felt no physical reality.

To stay by He Lvqing’s side, to be paraded in front of others, and then receive some bullshit blessings? Xin Qishu refused in his heart, but his mouth was sealed shut. He couldn’t speak; he couldn’t even part his lips.

He had been stripped of the right to speak and the power to choose.

Though he felt detached from his body now, he would eventually have to return to it; he still had to live. And his future fate was being decided by a few words exchanged between these two people.

He was the one who would have to endure it, yet he had no say. It seemed only one path remained: acceptance.

Xin Qishu had accepted things before. He accepted the first engagement with Xu Qiyao. He accepted living aimlessly in the Blood Capacity Palace without pursuing anything.

But perhaps he was rebellious by nature; he had later regretted those choices to varying degrees.

Xu Qiyao had drawn out He Lvqing. His aimless life in the Blood Capacity Palace had led to his dissatisfaction, which in turn led to his entry into the Blood Demon Ring Secret Realm. These two threads had intertwined and led to an explosion.

This time, Xin Qishu had learned his lesson. He would not accept it, and he would not look back.

Bitter sorrow filled his heart, which felt as though it had turned to leaden blood, as he prepared himself to burn his bridges.

After a long silence, the Manor Lord’s expression became unreadable. She spoke slowly: “I do not think this is appropriate.”

Unexpectedly, the Manor Lord gave a negative answer.

Lvqing’s brow twitched slightly as he uttered a single word: “Oh?”

Ye Ting met his gaze candidly. She had been the Lord of Hanshuang Manor for hundreds of years; to her, the two people before her were merely insignificant juniors.

Hanshuang Manor had no diplomatic ties with the Court of Dharma Rain, and the two places were far apart. Ye Ting was not afraid of offending He Lvqing; her only desire now was to resurrect her son.

A living soul entering the Underworld would suffer irreversible damage, and she did not want her son to endure that agony again.

Her son had already suffered enough since birth.

Ye Qing had already spoken with her. The Manor Lord knew that this pale girl before her was her only hope. She knew the girl’s goal was to avoid the Court of Dharma Rain, and she hoped the girl would succeed in bringing her son back, so she chose to help.

If she had a choice, she wouldn’t want He Lvqing to know about their affairs either.

As for this girl, her original plan had been to kill her once she was no longer useful.

Ye Ting narrowed her eyes slightly. He Lvqing was looking at her with displeasure, and her gaze shifted subtly to their tightly clasped hands.

Since she had entered the main hall, their hands had not let go of each other.

As someone who had lived long, she could see the girl’s reluctance and He Lvqing’s possessiveness.

It seemed He Lvqing was truly ensnared.

If she really killed her, He Lvqing would likely haunt her forever.

Fine then, she wasn’t someone worth the great effort of killing. Ye Ting thought casually; geniuses appeared every year, but only those who could maintain their light until old age were truly worth a second glance.

Ye Ting cleared her throat and spoke in a gentler tone: “Since she is ill, she should rest at home.” She looked at the girl. “Is this junior niece a participant in the competition?”

He Lvqing paused for a moment before answering, “No.”

Ye Ting said half-reproachfully, half-teasingly, “What are you doing? Why don’t you let her speak for herself?”

Their gazes crossed in the air, and the atmosphere suddenly froze as shadows of intrigue drifted between them.

After a long silence, He Lvqing still made no move, seemingly unwilling to back down. Ye Ting gave a genuine smile. “Since you’ve come to see me, it would be quite rude not to say hello.”

“If you don’t tell me your name, how can I tell others?” Ye Ting naturally saw through He Lvqing’s true purpose for this visit.

He Lvqing lowered his eyes and calmly took a sip of tea, seemingly unmoved. As he gripped the cup, a flash of golden light flickered at his fingertips.

The restriction on Xin Qishu’s mouth vanished instantly, but the chains remained, and his magical power was still suppressed. On the other side, Ye Ting was waiting expectantly for his answer.

He Lvqing sat poised to one side, his handsome profile hidden in the shadows, his snow-white robes looking exceptionally sharp on him. He didn’t urge him, nor did he help.

Xin Qishu couldn’t change his voice, and fearing suspicion, he lowered his pitch and answered vaguely, “Greetings, Senior. This junior is named Han Wan and is not a participant in this Immortal Struggle Assembly.”

The girl’s voice was raspier than Ye Ting had imagined. Ye Ting believed she had done a good deed; even if the girl quarreled with He Lvqing after being able to speak, she could protect her for a while. To her surprise, the girl wasn’t as happy as she expected; her attitude was cold.

Ye Ting felt a flicker of confusion but didn’t pry. “That makes things easier. Go back and rest well. I will instruct the manor’s medical cultivators to check on you later.”

Xin Qishu’s mouth wasn’t sealed again. He whispered a word of thanks. The task He Lvqing had come for was destined to remain unfulfilled. The other two were waiting for him to stand and leave.

The relationship between the three in the hall had shifted strangely; now it was Xin Qishu and Ye Ting on one side, with He Lvqing alone on the other.

He Lvqing sat calmly in his chair, his face showing no emotion. His slender hand rested on the armrest, tapping it gently. He showed no sign of leaving.

Today wasn’t over yet.

Xin Qishu was starting to lose his patience and wanted to urge him to leave. Just as he turned his face, He Lvqing’s gaze moved to him. It was as if he had been waiting for this moment; his deep eyes flickered toward Xin Qishu for a second, and the next moment he shifted his gaze, stood up, and straightened his sleeves.

Xin Qishu was frozen by that single look. The light-green pupils had reflected a cold light; He Lvqing wasn’t as calm as he appeared.

That gaze just now had been heavy—it was an assessment and a warning.

He Lvqing hadn’t come here today simply because of some jealous desire to announce his possession to the world. He was here to investigate what Xin Qishu had been up to these past few days!

Sure enough, He Lvqing spoke: “I actually came today wanting to offer a stick of incense to your son. I wonder if it would be convenient?”

The words were phrased as a request, but the tone held no gentleness. Many people in the world are cold on the outside but warm on the inside; their voices might be icy, but their hearts are good, and being with them is like melting ice—once it’s gone, you see the fiery passion within.

He Lvqing was not that type of person. He was cold on the outside and cold on the inside. Whatever emotion you first felt from him was exactly what he intended to express. There were no misunderstandings.

Beneath the low temperature of his glacier, countless viruses festered. If the glacier melted even a little, the viruses would be exposed to the sunlight. Whoever was closest to him would die the most miserable death.

The Manor Lord was startled, her hand holding the cup trembling so that some scalding tea splashed onto her wrist. She looked cautiously at Xin Qishu with an inquiring expression.

Lvqing noticed her gaze, and his lips curled into a sinister arc, though he didn’t stop her.

Since things had come to this, Xin Qishu gave her a slight nod. He had made no progress in his dealings with Ye Qing, so he wasn’t afraid of He Lvqing’s investigation. Based on He Lvqing’s reaction last night, he hadn’t realized that Xin Qishu had practiced an additional cultivation technique.

On the contrary, he would be the one to benefit from He Lvqing’s investigation.

The Manor Lord’s smile remained strained as she pushed herself up from her chair. “Of course.”

“There is nobody, as I did not wish to build a cenotaph. So I simply placed a tablet in his former room,” Ye Ting said, her voice choking up. “Follow me.”

The three of them left the main hall. They skirted several tall maple trees and reached Ye Zijin’s room; the two places were very close.

A thick layer of fallen leaves covered the ground. A disciple had just finished clearing a patch when new leaves fell, making it impossible to keep clean. As they walked, the sound of crunching was constant in their ears.

The simple building was protected by a barrier, with pale golden light flowing slowly over it. Reaching this place made Ye Ting even sadder than before, her eyes rimmed with red. “After Zijin died, I sealed this place. This is the first time I’ve brought anyone here.”

She raised a hand and placed it on the barrier. Starting from her palm, cracks spread across the barrier. When the cracks became dense enough, the barrier popped like a bubble.

The ancient cottage sat quietly bathed in the setting sun.

After a long moment, Ye Ting stepped forward and pushed the door open. After a long “creak,” the room was fully revealed, with a dark stone tablet standing on a wooden table. The shadows of the three at the door were cast onto the floor of the room.

“Come in,” Ye Ting said.

The room was well-lit, with brilliant sunlight spilling across the floor. There were many items in the room, from strange ornaments on the bookshelves to crumpled balls of paper on the floor—it felt lived-in, as if the owner had been there just a moment ago.

The objects were free of dust. In the center of the square table in the middle of the room stood a black tablet with several words carved into it, illuminated by the sunset: Tablet of My Son, Ye Zijin.

Ye Ting couldn’t help but sob quietly.

The atmosphere was incredibly heavy.

Lvqing’s lips were pressed into a thin line; for once, he looked somewhat normal.

He took six thin sticks of incense from his storage space, lit them, and gave three to Xin Qishu. Holding the three sticks in a row, the two of them observed a moment of silence.

Smoke drifted slowly as He Lvqing straightened up and inserted the incense.

The man in white had handsome features and a firm mouth, appearing focused on offering incense. But upon closer inspection, one would see that his dark pupils weren’t centered; they were shifted slightly to the right.

That tiny deviation made one’s skin crawl, making the scene feel unsettlingly eerie.

Aside from Ye Ting’s sobbing, there was no other sound in the room, and since her crying was very quiet, the room was almost silent.

In this quiet environment, behind and slightly to his side, Xin Qishu stood with his eyes closed in silent mourning, holding the incense that emitted milky-white smoke.

He was acting normally. Xin Qishu had always been a weak-willed person; seeing this must have made him think of many things. It was precisely because of this that He Lvqing felt something was wrong.

He had overheard the conversation between him and Duan Shi earlier that day.

—Did you kill Ye Zijin?

—Guess?

Guess? He Lvqing didn’t like that answer. It wasn’t the content of the answer that bothered him, but the emotion behind it when Xin Qishu spoke.

In his memory, Xin Qishu cared deeply about whether others saw him as a killer. If he hadn’t done it, he would have explicitly denied it. If he had… no need for ‘if’; He Lvqing didn’t believe he had killed him.

Guess?

He Lvqing replayed those two words and the punctuation in his mind. Had he been in a good mood then?

Why would he be happy that someone suspected him? Was it because it was Duan Shi who asked? If he had asked, Xin Qishu would surely have been angry again.

He Lvqing felt another pang of jealousy.

When he remembered the way those eyes had looked, his jealousy reached its peak.

His innate dominance pierced through like a shard of bone, breaking through the skin and exposing itself to the air. The scent of blood emanated from him, terrifying the weaker creatures nearby.

Xin Qishu hadn’t noticed He Lvqing’s grim gaze. He had indeed been thinking a lot when he saw Ye Zijin’s tablet, but his attention was immediately diverted by a sudden, intense pain.

The moment he stepped into the room, his nose caught a strange medicinal scent, and at the same time, the blood in his body felt as if it were being stirred by a hand.

Xin Qishu forced himself to maintain a normal expression.

The strange medicinal scent filled the air in the room. For no reason, he felt the smell was familiar. He rarely smelled medicine; the last time was on that Lingxiao Pavilion disciple. He endured the pain and took several deep breaths to distinguish it.

He was certain—the top note of this scent was the same as the one on Ye Qing.

He Lvqing inserted his incense, and Xin Qishu stepped forward to do the same. He Lvqing whispered a few words of comfort to Ye Ting, looking perfectly normal. Ye Ting’s expression was also normal. Neither of them had noticed anything.

Only he could smell this scent. What about the scent of Ye Qing? Could only he smell that too? What was going on?

Having endured the initial pain, his veins began to itch. Xin Qishu scratched himself discreetly, but it didn’t help.

The sky grew dark. He Lvqing was still talking to Ye Ting, but Xin Qishu could no longer hear their conversation. The itch was followed by an even more intense pain, as if countless ants were drinking his blood.

His legs began to shake. To avoid exposure, before he lost the ability to stand, Xin Qishu leaned his pale face against He Lvqing.

His shoulder felt a weight as Xin Qishu rested his head on it from behind. In an instant, the gloom on He Lvqing’s face vanished, and his handsome features glowed with warmth. His hand moved to grip his waist tightly.

Xin Qishu had no time to worry about him or Ye Ting’s thoughts.

He hid half of his face behind He Lvqing. He was sweating, and several strands of hair were stuck to his cheek.

Amidst the agonizing pain, Xin Qishu’s eyes darted around, trying to pinpoint the source. The scent was strongest in this direction.

He looked over. There was only one thing in that direction: a canopy bed. The bedding was neatly folded.

With such a strong scent, the medicine must still be here.

Had Ye Ting given this medicine to Ye Zijin? Xin Qishu still knew too little. “Your son must not have been very old. How did he pass away? Was it a congenital illness?”

Xin Qishu didn’t really want to ask; he knew how Ye Zijin had died. The answer was heavy for both him and Ye Ting. But he had to know more information.

He couldn’t wait any longer. He had to use Hanshuang Manor to trap He Lvqing. If he were taken back to the Court of Dharma Rain, He Lvqing would surely imprison him again!

And this time, He Lvqing probably wouldn’t change his mind.

The Manor Lord didn’t go deep into the room. She stood by the table, staring down at the stone tablet. “My son’s health was never very good. I was severely injured when I gave birth to him, which caused his soul to be unable to fuse into one. Like a pearl, it was born cracked in half.”

“Only by removing one part could he live like a normal person.”

Xin Qishu was stunned; he hadn’t expected that to be the reason.

“To make him more lively, my Daoist partner and I adopted Ye Qing. More accurately, when Zijin went down the mountain to play, he found a brother for himself.”

“Zijin and Ye Qing had a very good relationship. They played together, practiced together. They grew up in happiness. I wanted Zijin to start handling manor affairs and become the Manor Lord in the future, but Ye Qing reacted very strongly. Then some things happened… and Ye Qing became estranged from me.”

Practiced together? Ye Qing was clearly unable to cultivate. It seemed his meridians had been severed during “those things,” ending his path of cultivation and leaving him a mere mortal.

“Though Ye Qing had no cultivation, he was very good at building relationships. Many in the manor were willing to follow him. In comparison, only we supported Zijin.”

“Ye Qing is a mortal after all. I still wanted Zijin to start touching the sect’s industries, so I had him go on the mission to exterminate the demons, hoping to gain some prestige so he could lead effectively upon his return.”

“I was afraid he would die, so I specifically had him bring an immortal artifact, but he still met with disaster… no one found the body. Duan Shi of the Mo Sect said it was Fei Jia who killed him.”

As Ye Ting spoke, two trails of tears rolled down her cheeks. She didn’t say the rest; she could have released those soul fragments and let Ye Zijin be reincarnated, but then Ye Zijin would truly be dead, no longer her child.

The white smoke flowed and twisted in the air like a ribbon.

“Why didn’t anyone support Ye Zijin? Was his cultivation not high?” Xin Qishu lost his composure slightly, his voice rising.

Ye Ting was too immersed in her grief to notice. Lvqing, unmoved, gave him a flat, emotionless glance.

“No, although Zijin’s cultivation process was very difficult, unexpectedly, his cultivation was actually quite good. When he went to the Demon Abyss, he was already at the late stage of Golden Core.”

At those words, He Lvqing raised an eyebrow.

“Was it piled up with medicine?” He asked Lvqing. “Cultivation emphasizes the union of spirit and body. In Ye Zijin’s case, Foundation Establishment should have been the limit.”

His words were too offensive, and Ye Ting couldn’t help but glare at him, sobbing. “Watch your words. We never gave him any medicine. We were afraid it would cause him harm.”

The Manor Lord was too overwhelmed with grief to host guests. The two left Ye Zijin’s residence.

Once away from the room, the bone-deep pain in Xin Qishu subsided significantly. A thin layer of sweat covered his forehead, and his undergarments clung to his skin. He looked as though he had been pulled from a river.

Lvqing didn’t look at him. His mood was like a slide, and who knew where it had landed now. He gripped Xin Qishu’s waist so tightly that Xin Qishu felt it might break. Lvqing’s magnetic voice drifted down from above: “What, finally learned to be submissive?”

Xin Qishu remained silent.

“If you won’t tell me, I’ll find out for myself,” He Lvqing said. “Did you have a hand in killing Ye Zijin?”

They walked for a distance. Xin Qishu had recovered some strength and tried to break free from him to walk on his own, saying sarcastically, “Go ahead and find out. Check thoroughly. Don’t be fooled by others’ words.”

He Lvqing showed no displeasure on his face, but the grip on Xin Qishu’s waist tightened.

“Want to know if I killed anyone? Use the Mirror of Sinful Seas!” His waist felt like it was about to be snapped, and Xin Qishu couldn’t break free, making him extremely frustrated. He suggested as if for his own good, “What’s wrong? Can’t get your hands on it now?”

Lvqing’s expression instantly turned turbulent, his long brows furrowing. “You…”

Xin Qishu didn’t have the patience to listen. He frowned and slapped his hand away, snapping, “Let go!”

After a moment of disorientation, Xin Qishu was pushed onto a bed. His clothes were stripped away, exposing his translucent, lychee-flesh-white skin to the air.

The snow-skinned beauty lay naked on the red silk quilt, black hair scattered, features delicate, staring at him with defiant, cat-like eyes.

“Ugh…” His body was still uncomfortable. Xin Qishu groaned and forced himself up, flashing a provocative smile at He Lvqing.

With a flick of He Lvqing’s finger, the golden chains materialized, forcing his hands together. Xin Qishu was forced to lie flat on the bed, his long legs spread apart by an invisible force.

…

A rosy flush spread across Xin Qishu’s face. His mouth opened and closed, but no sound came out.

He Lvqing stood by the bed, his tall frame casting a shadow that enveloped Xin Qishu. The beauty on the couch had tangled hair, and a look of pleasure gradually appeared on his face.

He was satisfied. He made a pressing motion with his fingers.

…

Snow-white long legs intertwined, toes trembling. The beauty buried his head in the quilt, refusing to come out.

Unable to see his expression, He Lvqing was dissatisfied again. He reached out to stroke the head of the person on the bed with his rough hand.

“Why aren’t you looking at me?”

“Get lost…” The response was a muffled curse.

A wave of tenderness rose in He Lvqing’s heart, like a cup of water moistening his parched soul.

“Knock knock knock…” Rarely, there was a knock at the courtyard gate.

Lvqing turned his head in annoyance, narrowed his eyes for a second, clicked his tongue, and said, “Dan Yu is here to talk. I have to leave for a moment.”

The person beneath him shuddered. He paused and continued, “Don’t worry, I won’t leave you like this. I won’t break the connection.”

He spoke persuasively: “If you want me to do something, just call out. I can hear you. Only I can hear you.”

Another wave of desire hit… Xin Qishu hammered the bed. Lvqing hadn’t undone the silence spell or the binding on his hands.

The lowered bed curtains separated the bed from the room. In the pale pink light and shadows, the person on the bed seemed to be performing a solo silent drama of passion.

The voices of He Lvqing and Dan Yu talking drifted faintly from outside the door.