The Beautiful Pariah Thought He Could Be Loved - Chapter 22

Chapter 22: (Revised)

Xin Qishu exhaled a long, deep breath…

Helǜqing’s expression shifted several times. He had already lost his heart to Xin Qishu, and there was no way he would hand his Daoist companion over to someone else; Fei Jia clearly had no respect for him whatsoever.

He should have driven Fei Jia away, but with Xin Sha nearing death, this was a golden opportunity. Xin Qishu returning to the Demon Abyss for this reason wouldn’t arouse anyone’s suspicion.

But… Fei Jia’s arrival was too well-timed. He hadn’t had the chance to explain things to Xin Qishu yet, nor had he told him his true thoughts. Xin Qishu hadn’t promised himself to him either…

Thinking of this, Helǜqing turned his head slightly.

Should I say it now? he hesitated.

Xin Qishu was staring at him. With fair skin and soft black hair draped behind his back, he looked exhausted.

Sensing Helǜqing’s pause, Xin Qishu saw him turn his face to peek cautiously at him, his dark cyan eyes brimming with sorrow.

He spoke, his voice slightly raspy: “In this matter, there is no difference between you and Xu Qiyao. I will not form a bond with you.”

He stepped forward to stand level with Helǜqing, facing Fei Jia.

Helǜqing breathed a secret sigh of relief, his hand tentatively brushing against Xin Qishu’s hand hanging at his side.

Xin Qishu slightly pulled his hand away. His thoughts were drifting uncontrollably now, all concerning Fei Jia and Xin Sha. Compared to Xin Sha, Fei Jia felt more like family; through countless days and nights of companionship, despite many unspoken conflicts, they fundamentally relied on one another.

If the incident with Xu Qiyao hadn’t happened, and if He率qing hadn’t been by his side the last time Fei Jia came for him, he couldn’t guarantee he wouldn’t have gone back then.

But some things must never be blurred.

Has Fei Jia ever shown such emotions before? Xin Qishu couldn’t remember clearly; he had lived in a state of chaos for a long time.

Fei Jia remained silent for a moment before saying, “The wedding date can be postponed. You can think it over.”

Xin Qishu tapped Helǜqing’s wrist with his index finger. Helǜqing realized his intent and felt only half-relieved—Xin Qishu had decided of his own accord to return to the Demon Abyss.

He took out the emerald jade bracelet and put it on his wrist.

Xin Qishu said, “We will go back to the Demon Abyss with you. Release Ye Yi.”

Helǜqing looked down at the bracelet; his wrist wasn’t slender, so the jade looked a bit out of place.

Xin Qishu glanced at it and lightly tapped the jade. With a crisp clink, the bracelet transformed into a thin black thread, nearly invisible unless one looked closely.

Taking all this in, Fei Jia’s long lashes drooped. He gritted his teeth and spat, “We?”

Xin Qishu: “I won’t go with you alone.”

“Fine. We’ll talk once you’re back.”

…

The sky of the Demon Abyss remained colorless as ever. Xin Qishu stopped at the entrance of the Blood Glory Palace. “Where is Ye Yi? Let him go.”

“The people who brought Ye Yi back are over there.”

Xin Qishu turned his back. Fei Jia and Helǜqing’s eyes locked. Fei Jia gave a provocative smile and sent a voice transmission: “Don’t get ahead of yourself. Our contest has only just begun.”

“Xin Qishu will not deepen the marriage bond with you. When his Demon Day arrives, he will abandon you.”

“By then, you’ll be completely out of the game.”

Xin Qishu turned back, frowning. “What do you mean we have to wait a while?”

“Is that what they said?” Fei Jia said calmly. “Then I suppose we have to wait a while. I can’t make decisions for them right now.”

Xin Qishu glared at him, prompting Fei Jia to change his tune: “They slandered you so much, of course I have to strike back! How ridiculous—as if a broken Glazed Lamp is worth you stealing it!”

“…I don’t need that. Just release Ye Yi,” Xin Qishu said.

Fei Jia turned his head away, stubborn: “I won’t do anything to him. If you’re worried, you can go see him for a bit every day.”

“Not today. Get some rest.” Fei Jia looked at Xin Qishu with a hint of expectation. “I’m still staying in the same place as before.”

Xin Qishu did not meet his gaze. Disappointed, Fei Jia left.

The two moved back into the house built for Helǜqing. The courtyard had been tidied up; where a tree once stood, there was now only a small patch of soil.

Once the hangers-on left, the air fell silent.

Helǜqing stood straight in the courtyard. It was his turn.

“Can you explain the matter of the Mirror of the Sinful Sea?” Xin Qishu asked. The surging emotions from before had long dissipated after the interruption, leaving only a deep scar.

The return to the Demon Abyss had distracted Xin Qishu; the best time to resolve this had passed. No matter how Helǜqing answered, this would become a knot in Xin Qishu’s heart.

In the long years to come, Xin Qishu wouldn’t try to untie it; it would simply be forgotten. But once remembered, it would never be easily settled again, and the likely end would be separation.

Just anticipating that scenario made Helǜqing’s heart turn cold. He sincerely wanted to be with Xin Qishu forever. He wanted to truly love him after all the hypocritical lies were shattered.

At the same time, he had finally reached the point where he had to face the problem. The others in the Blood Glory Palace deserved to die, but Xin Qishu had never killed anyone; he could spare Xin Qishu’s life. But when the Blood Glory Palace vanished, would Xin Qishu grieve for their deaths?

Helǜqing couldn’t be sure of the answer. Did Xin Qishu return solely for Ye Yi? Or did he still harbor some affection for Xin Sha and the others?

A puff of dust rose as Helǜqing dropped to both knees. Under the heavy gray clouds and dim light, dust motes drifted in the air.

Xin Qishu took half a step back.

Helǜqing looked up, his pale cyan eyes flickering with penitence. “I’m sorry. I was wrong. But Qishu, I didn’t suspect you of murder, truly.”

“I can swear to the Heavenly Dao,” Helǜqing’s gaze followed Xin Qishu like flowing water, his right hand with three fingers pointed to the sky, “If I used the Mirror of the Sinful Sea because I suspected Xin Qishu of murder, may I suffer the Ascension Lightning Tribulation prematurely.”

Several streaks of purple lightning flashed through the clouds—the oath was successful, and no lightning struck him. Helǜqing was telling the truth.

Xin Qishu lost his edge, closing his eyes to continue listening.

“I used the Mirror because I wanted Ye Yi to see it. When we were on the mountain, Ye Yi was nearby.”

“That day, Ye Yi found me and urged me to return and submit to questioning. He said someone in the cultivation world was deliberately spreading rumors about me—not just the Glazed Lamp, but many things were being pinned on me. He said you were the one behind it.”

“I didn’t believe him. I know you value Ye Yi, and it happened that the Mirror was in his hands, so I thought I’d use the opportunity to repair your friendship by suggesting we verify it with the Mirror.”

“Friendship that requires seeing the facts to believe… What kind of friendship is that?” Xin Qishu crossed his arms.

Helǜqing: “I guessed you’d say that, which is why I didn’t tell you beforehand.”

Xin Qishu sneered, “It seems he didn’t believe it then.”

Splash— The sky suddenly poured down a torrential rain. Countless droplets pelted the soil, and the two were instantly drenched, their clothes and hair plastered to their bodies.

Xin Qishu walked into the house and lit a lamp: “How do you feel? Any discomfort?”

Helǜqing remained kneeling in the courtyard. “No.”

He felt a sense of irony; he fantasized about a true love with Xin Qishu, yet he continued to lie.

Helǜqing couldn’t speak the real reason. He watched silently through the window frame as Xin Qishu leaned down to push a spirit stone into a slot. Suddenly, a warm yellow light illuminated his face—his skin was white and smooth, his eyes downcast as he stared at the lamp.

Under the lamp, a beauty’s charm increases threefold.Are you willing to make the harmful demons pay the price?

Are you willing to help me?

Do you dare…

The many scripts Helǜqing had prepared vanished in his throat.

For a moment, he had the urge to pull Xin Qishu onto his side. He had impulsively taken the Mirror from Ye Yi, wanting to see the truth with his own eyes to bolster his confidence in that plan.

But the news of Xin Sha’s illness came at an awkward time; he hadn’t yet asked Xin Qishu if he was willing. Did Xin Qishu return now out of a shred of familial piety?

Or perhaps, he also wanted to vie for the position of Palace Master? That was the most likely possibility. As long as he became the Palace Master, everything that troubled him would vanish… cultivation, power, care—some are born with these things, while those without them spend their lives chasing them.

Regardless, Helǜqing could no longer ask that question. He could only use Xin Qishu.

If Xin Qishu chose the second path, he would also be stepping into their conspiracy.

“Get up,” Xin Qishu’s voice came from inside. “I have something to tell you.”

Helǜqing entered and closed the door behind him.

“I’m going to see Xin Sha in a few days,” Xin Qishu said. “Tomorrow, you go see Ye Yi. He was hit by one of Qing Qianqian’s arrows; help him force the demonic energy out of his body and get him out of here.”

“If things go smoothly, I’ll be able to enter the Blood Demon Ring’s secret realm soon.”

“They didn’t explicitly tell me where Ye Yi is being kept, and the Blood Glory Palace doesn’t have a dungeon,” Xin Qishu drew a crude map, pointing to an area in the northeast. “He’s likely trapped in a small hut somewhere here.”

He paused for two seconds before adding: “You might encounter Qing Qianqian on the way. If you do, just say Fei Jia gave permission. If she doesn’t believe you, just knock her out.”

Helǜqing agreed, “I’ll get it done.”

Xin Qishu gave a low hum. “Go to sleep.”

The rain pattered on. As Xin Qishu turned to leave, Helǜqing immediately grabbed his hand. “Where are you going?”

“I’m sleeping in the other room.”

Helǜqing hugged Xin Qishu from behind, his low voice echoing above his head: “Is it because you find facing me exhausting?” His tone was dejected.

Xin Qishu pushed at his arms. “I just need some space.”

Helǜqing lowered his head, his high-bridged nose brushing against the crook of Xin Qishu’s neck, acting spoiled: “I want to stay with you.”

“Just for tonight.”

“Don’t let something like last night happen a second time.” Xin Qishu’s hand lightly brushed his cheek. Finally unable to suppress his emotions, his voice trembled as he said, “I really can’t take it.”

“My heart hurts so much,” Xin Qishu wept, tears spilling from his lashes and down his face. His body shook uncontrollably until he finally covered his face with his hands in self-abandonment.

“It won’t… it won’t happen again…” Helǜqing’s voice shook as he also began to cry, his vision blurring. He said against his conscience, “It won’t…”

It felt as if a hole had been drilled into his heart, blood dripping out endlessly. The Mirror of the Sinful Sea sat at the bottom of that hole, and every drop of blood fed back a heart-wrenching pain. The blood covering the Li residence was still before his eyes. Helǜqing tightened his grip on Xin Qishu; why was their path of love so treacherous?

Tears flowed steadily, tracing the lines of his skin into the crook of his neck.

The rain didn’t stop. Needle-like droplets pierced the dark night. In a corner of the Demon Abyss, a warm orange light glowed, and the sound of moving sobs drifted from the house before vanishing into the air…

…

Xin Qishu lay on the bed with his eyes closed.

The brocade quilt covered half his face. He had lost some weight in his cheeks, and his stature had become more upright, gradually taking on the appearance of an adult.

The day a demon matures is called “Demon Day.” At that time, intense physical desires emerge, and for a short period, the demon grows fangs and furry, cat-like ears.

Demons follow ancient instincts, using their fangs to bite their partners. Humans often cannot endure the demon’s lust and biting, resulting in gruesome deaths.

Xin Qishu’s Demon Day was fast approaching.

With a creak, the sound of rain outside became clearer as a few gusts of cool air entered the room.

Someone gently lifted Xin Qishu’s arm, which was resting outside the quilt, and pulled the covers back.

Recognizing the familiar scent, Xin Qishu didn’t open his eyes. He rubbed his head against the pillow and mumbled, “What are you doing? It’s cold.”

The mattress sank beside him as Helǜqing squeezed into the quilt with him, carefully tucking it in. Not wanting to disturb his sleep, he whispered, “It’s nothing. Go to sleep.”

Xin Qishu opened his eyes, his lids folding into several layers, looking somewhat annoyed. His words were a bit slurred: “Didn’t we agree to give me one night?”

“I don’t want to be alone. Just pretend I’m not here.”

True to his word, Xin Qishu stopped paying him any mind and turned over.

Helǜqing silently pulled Xin Qishu toward his chest. The room fell silent. He stared blankly at the ceiling.

After a long while, he spoke: “When you come out of the secret realm, shall we go to Star Bay?”

“…Away from everything, just living our lives in peace.”

Xin Qishu’s mind was still foggy, caught between sleep and wakefulness. He vaguely recalled that he had only mentioned that place once in passing.

Thinking about it brought back memories of the previous night, making his heart ache again. Unwilling to dwell on it, Xin Qishu adjusted his posture and squeezed his eyes shut, his thick lashes trembling. “What did you originally plan to do at this age?”

“I never thought about it. Things never go the way I expect, so there’s no use thinking too much,” Helǜqing replied.

Xin Qishu fell silent.

The bedding should have smelled of clean soap, but Helǜqing caught a hint of a special fragrance—the scent of Xin Qishu’s body.

After a pause, he corrected himself: “Actually, thinking about it is quite nice. As for me, right now I just want to be with you forever.”

Helǜqing’s hand fumbled under the quilt. Xin Qishu let out a low grumble, clearly displeased: “What are you touching?”

As he spoke, Helǜqing grabbed his hand and pulled it out from under the covers.

In the darkness, Helǜqing untied a red string from his own wrist and carefully tied it around Xin Qishu’s.

Xin Qishu felt a slight tug on his wrist and guessed, “Why are you giving the bracelet back to me?”

“It’s not the bracelet,” Helǜqing said. “This red string was given to me by my master when I was a child. It’s said to create a protective barrier in times of crisis… though I’ve never used it once.”

“But my master is a reliable man. If he said it protects, then it really does. Whatever you do, don’t take it off.”

Xin Qishu had never met Helǜqing’s master; it was said he had entered a state of “death seclusion” long ago, his life or death unknown.

“Mhm.” With a light struggle, Helǜqing let go. Xin Qishu brought his hand to his face and felt the string for a while; it felt cool to the touch.

“Did you close the door properly when you came in? I don’t think the rain will stop tonight.”

“It’s closed. Sleep in peace.”

Helǜqing’s body temperature was high, and the quilt soon became warm. Xin Qishu drifted off to sleep in a daze.

To him, Helǜqing was like a gift fallen from the sky—though the gift had some flaws and the process of obtaining it was difficult, he had ultimately brought the gift he desired home.

…

The sky after rain is always exceptionally blue; even the Demon Abyss could have such a blue sky.

Xin Qishu stood at the courtyard gate, turning back to wave goodbye, his high ponytail swaying. The youth’s face was elegant and clear, his eyes beneath thin brows shimmering with moisture as he looked at him playfully.

“Come back early. Stay safe.” Behind him, Helǜqing looked haggard. After a pause, he also raised his arm and waved with a boyish energy.

Xin Qishu curled his lips into a smile, his dimples faintly appearing.

With that, the youth skipped away.

Xin Qishu returned to the main palace.

Fei Jia stood beside him. Xin Qishu stood at the door with a complex expression. In an instant, it felt as though he had returned to many years ago, when a young Xin Qishu stood nervously before Xin Sha’s room with a heavy heart.

His hand stopped in mid-air, not daring to knock.

The life of the demon cultivator Su Su had been pinned on him. Someone named Sister Qianqian had praised him for it, but whether he could pass Xin Sha’s scrutiny remained unknown…

He pushed open the door. A tall, robust man sat in a chair polishing a ring, exuding a sinister aura. He looked up coldly, saying with contempt: “Why do you look like this?”

Time had passed, and things had changed. Xin Qishu pushed open the door to find a gaunt old man lying on the bed.

His dark brown hair had turned white, and there was no meat left on his body—only a layer of skin draped over bone.

Hearing the sound, the old man listlessly opened his eyes, looking like a lamp running out of oil. The whites of his eyes had turned entirely blood-red, looking exceptionally eerie.

His voice was ancient: “You’ve returned.”

A certain emotion surged into Xin Qishu’s chest. A giant stone suddenly vanished from his heart. He let out a deep, long breath and gave a cold scoff.