The Beautiful Pariah Thought He Could Be Loved - Chapter 11

Chapter 11: The Kiss and the Vow

A wave of surprise washed over He Lüqing. He couldn’t help but scrutinize Xin Qishu once more. The boy looked as frail as ever, currently consumed by sorrow on his behalf.

Lüqing was practically dissecting him; it seemed his understanding of Xin Qishu had always been superficial.

Suddenly, Xin Qishu’s face flushed a deep red. He stared fixedly at the fox-demon, and his words began to stumble.

What an amusing reaction.

He let out a soft chuckle. “What’s the matter?”

His voice, cold as a mountain spring, was intentionally lowered. It felt like a piece of magnificent silk draped in an alluring fashion—one could see the beauty of the fabric, yet sense the undeniable, flirtatious intent hidden within.

The fox-demon looked left and right, then silently slipped away before the pink bubbles in the air could pop in his face.

Lüqing found himself growing curious about Xin Qishu. Despite the boy’s weak facade, he had unhesitatingly stepped forward to defend him—such unwavering trust.

As Xin Qishu stiffly turned his head away with a red face, He Lüqing couldn’t resist teasing him: “Did you hurt your neck earlier?” He sat down beside the boy. “The neck is very important. Without it, your head would fall off… Let me take a good look.”

Xin Qishu submissively lowered his head, his long black lashes trembling. A large hand pulled back his collar, revealing a snowy-white neck from beneath his light orange robes. Then, those fingers squeezed the nape of his neck.

Lüqing stared deeply at him. All his life, He Lüqing had been trusted—teachers never checked his homework, his Master never questioned his choices, and whenever he spoke, countless people believed him.

Yet, he found himself genuinely moved by Xin Qishu’s steadfast faith. He asked curiously, “Could it be that I’ve fallen for you?”

Xin Qishu’s voice was barely a whisper: “I want to hear it as a statement, not a question.”

The air in the room was dry. Xin Qishu stared at the floor, his eyelashes blinking rapidly. The edges of his fair face seemed almost translucent, and his lips were stubbornly pressed into a line.

“I want to know the truth,” He Lüqing said sincerely.

Does loving someone lead to unwavering trust? Or do you love someone because you trust them so firmly?

Thunder rumbled outside; it was raining again. Through the rising sound of the rain came faint murmurs.

Sensing something, Xin Qishu straightened his back and turned to face He Lüqing. “Fine…”

Amidst the lightning and thunder, He Lüqing’s gaze became unreadable, his pale green eyes glowing with a soul-stirring intensity. “The truth is, I have fallen for you.”

Xin Qishu’s cool hand was gripped tightly. He froze. This was what he had always wanted to hear, but it was so sudden…

“I am serious. Do you believe me? Just now, my heart felt a sudden spark… and then it wouldn’t stop trembling. I won’t hide my heart; I like you. I’m so happy to be this close to you.” Lüqing’s handsome face actually carried a hint of entreaty. “Actually, a while ago, I looked into your past. I believe you’ve never harmed anyone. Even before I came to rescue you, my opinion of you had already changed.”

“I believe you didn’t steal the lamp, and I believe you like me too.”

Xin Qishu stopped breathing.

“These words are a bit late,” He Lüqing’s voice was tender, his eyes full of softness as they met Xin Qishu’s. “Please, be with me.”

He cupped Xin Qishu’s face, his calloused thumb brushing away the tear tracks. “Don’t cry anymore. It doesn’t matter if they don’t believe me; they accompanied me through the first half of my life. But the one who will live with me from now on will be you. Do you believe me?”

“Of course I believe you.”

Xin Qishu’s eyes brimmed with tears, his soft hair brushing against his collar. He Lüqing helped tuck it away, leaning down closer… and closer…

Outside, the rain poured, its steady rhythm engulfing the world. Xin Qishu stood at the center of that sound, his eyes seeing only He Lüqing’s slowly enlarging face. A crystalline tear finally escaped his eye as he slightly parted his lips.

The sound of the kiss was wet and lingering.

…

“What are you two doing?!”

An uninvited guest kicked open the door. Fei Jia stood there, his chest heaving with rage as he glared at the pair.

Lüqing retracted his tongue and slightly turned his face. The lightning made his expression look terrifying. His green eyes flicked over, and with a single strike, Fei Jia cracked the door frame. Xin Qishu looked dazed, leaning in unsatisfied to rub his face against He Lüqing’s.

The softness against his cheek lasted only a moment. He Lüqing placed Xin Qishu back in the chair and said lazily, “We are husband and wife. A little intimacy is perfectly legal. Why are you interfering?”

Fei Jia gnashed his teeth. Why… why were they reconciled again? A thought appeared in his mind that he could no longer ignore: This man has malicious intentions!

“…I have a report for the Young Palace Master. You, get out.”

Lüqing didn’t move. He looked to his side. Xin Qishu leaned his head tiredly against the back of the chair, his eyes half-closed and his lips slightly swollen, looking like an exquisite doll. Yet, he was not one to be controlled. Lüqing couldn’t read his gaze and felt a flicker of irritation, squeezing the slender arm in his hand.

Xin Qishu spoke, his voice raspy from crying and heavy with a nasal tone. “You don’t have to leave. I happen to want to talk to you about this as well.”

Lüqing took a sip of tea. “Talk about what?”

Fei Jia flashed a provocative smile and stepped forward to open a box. Inside, a drop of solidified blood lay on a white cloth. Lüqing’s brow jumped.

“The task you entrusted to me—I have completed half of it. I have retrieved the drop kept at the Fayu Pavilion. As for the one in He Lüqing’s possession…”

How did he know? Lüqing quickly found the answer: Fei Jia must have been outside the window that night. He surprisingly hadn’t sensed him!

Lüqing could feel Xin Qishu looking at him, a gaze as sharp as needles.

“What do you want my blood for?” Xin Qishu asked.

A deathly silence followed.

After a long moment, He Lüqing exhaled and confessed truthfully: “I wanted to kill you.”

The words had barely left his lips before Fei Jia lunged with his sword toward He Lüqing’s eyes. Lüqing shifted his feet to evade, raising his hand to strike. In an instant, the two had exchanged dozens of blows.

Only when a scratch appeared on He Lüqing’s face and a crimson bead of blood seeped out did Xin Qishu speak again.

“How can you kill me with just one drop of blood? If you wanted me dead, why didn’t you just finish me then?”

Xin Qishu had forced the marriage using lives as leverage, but no one could truly force He Lüqing. When the tension in the sect was at its peak, He Lüqing had walked into the palace, dropped his sword, and knelt, declaring he would sacrifice himself for the people. Before leaving, he had only requested one thing: a Life-Death Talisman.

“Before going to the Demon Abyss, I asked my Master for a Life-Death Talisman.”

The talisman was incredibly powerful and rare. Its usage was similar to the Mirror of the Sinful Sea.

“As long as a drop of blood is placed on the talisman, the owner of that blood will die instantly.”

The rain continued to fall. The dark, cold air crept in through the cracks, and Xin Qishu’s lips turned pale from the chill. He Lüqing had been waiting for an opportunity to use it.

But he knew the most important task now was to get closer to Xin Qishu. Sacrificing the small for the large, He Lüqing reached into his storage ring… “This talisman is useless to me now.”

In the clear tea, tender green leaves floated aimlessly. The scent of incense in the room grew stronger, mixing with the cold air to make one feel lightheaded.

He Lüqing held the talisman between two strong fingers. He stared at the complex blood-red lines for a moment before decisively tossing it away.

The paper sparked in the air, the flame growing larger. The firelight reflected the three different expressions on their faces. The yellow paper burned to ash, drifting to the floor until it was almost invisible.

“As for the blood,” He Lüqing used his spiritual energy to slice a deep cut across his right cheek. Xin Qishu gasped.

As the skin parted, a surprising amount of blood flowed out, tracing a line down to his chin. With a nearly inaudible drip, it fell onto his chest, merging with the fabric and rising and falling with his breath.

A finger-length scar now marked the right side of his face. Red blood bloomed like flowers against his ivory skin.

He Lüqing dropped to both knees. “Qishu, I want to deepen our marriage bond.”

“By refining and consuming each other’s blood, the Letter of Severed Fate will be useless against us. We will truly be inseparable.”

“Okay.”

A cold hand touched his cheek. Sitting in the chair, Xin Qishu only had to reach out slightly for his fingertips to be stained with red.

He Lüqing looked up at Xin Qishu’s pale, weak face against the light.

Xin Qishu was like snow on a winter ground—white and easy to melt on the surface, but beneath lay the ice that could make one slip.

Lüqing couldn’t help but ponder.

Xin Qishu had never done hard labor; his fingertips were smooth. As his thumb slowly traced the skin, the sensation of being gazed down upon by someone in a superior position made He Lüqing lower his eyes in slight embarrassment. He whispered, “Are you truly willing? Do you know what this means?”

Xin Qishu looked at him, the corners of his eyes slightly upturned. He cast a cleansing spell. “I know. I’ve fantasized about this day for a long time.”

In the cultivation world, few chose to become Daoist partners. If twenty out of a hundred cultivators formed a marriage bond, perhaps not even one would choose to deepen it.

Xin Qishu had never met a living cultivator who had deepened their bond. He had only heard about it through jokes after his engagement to Xu Qiyao. He Lüqing had been so cold after their wedding that Xin Qishu once thought no feelings would ever grow. Having a bond was enough; he had never dreamed of this.

A deepened bond allowed one partner to borrow the other’s spiritual energy in times of crisis. If one died, the other would lose half their life force.

Lüqing knelt before him, eyes closed. The blood on his face was gone, and he looked as dashing as ever, the man Xin Qishu adored—but he was kneeling.

Xin Qishu pulled him up. “How do we refine it? Tell me.”

A cultivator’s physique was superior; the wound had already begun to knit together with pink new flesh. Standing up, He Lüqing was much taller and quite intimidating. Yet he kept his head bowed, the pink scar visible on his cheek.

He had caused it to put Xin Qishu’s mind at ease. Xin Qishu felt pained, but also a twisted, undeniable sense of happiness.

As a child, he lived in a dark alley. Not far away was a bustling street. Lying on a straw mat at night, he would hear the voices of storytellers from nearby taverns. The stories of lovers flirting seemed lively and happy.

The night before he decided on the forced marriage, he had thought of He Lüqing and their every interaction. He had fantasized about having a life that was lively.

It was only now, with this twisted emotion, that Xin Qishu realized that no matter how similar it looked on the surface, there were differences inside—differences caused by him. He would never have a normal daily life with anyone else.

“The refinement requires soil from the Demon Abyss. Young Palace Master, let us return.”

Xin Qishu frowned. He had a youthful face with round eyes and curved lashes, but his eyeliner was long and upturned. When he wasn’t acting obedient, he had the stunning look of a bold beauty.

Now, he looked cold.

“You, get out,” Xin Qishu said flatly.

Fei Jia stood frozen in disbelief. He had just said those words to He Lüqing, yet He Lüqing got to stay while he was told to leave?

Xin Qishu repeated, “Get out.”

Fei Jia left the room with a dark expression. With a click of the door, He Lüqing leaned down and lifted Xin Qishu into his lap as he sat in the chair.

With He Lüqing’s blood in his possession, Xin Qishu felt much more secure, as if he had finally grasped love in the palm of his hand. Previously, he had fallen into an endless abyss of unrequited love for the sake of He Lüqing’s warm embrace. Now, with a solid, warm chest against his back, his fall had stopped.

The man he loved had turned back to hold him.

Xin Qishu allowed the embrace and said slowly, “I don’t want to go back to the Demon Abyss. Tell him to go back alone.”

“Mhm. The refinement also requires the spiritual energy of a tree from the Underworld. We can do that first,” He Lüqing agreed.

“I mean I don’t want to go back ever. Let’s find somewhere else to live,” Xin Qishu added. “It’s not good for you to live in the Demon Abyss.”

Lüqing’s expression was unreadable. He looked down. Xin Qishu looked indifferent, staring at a point in the void.

If Xin Qishu didn’t return to the Demon Abyss, He Lüqing’s goal would never be achieved.

“You don’t need to make concessions for me. Your friends and family are all in the Demon Abyss,” He Lüqing listed them. “Your father, Fei Jia, and Sister Qianqian.”

“Won’t you be sad to never see them again?” Lüqing thought he had found Xin Qishu’s weakness.

“They aren’t good to me.”

“Then am I good to you?” Lüqing blurted out. He wondered why he asked; he didn’t believe he was.

“You are the best of them all.” Xin Qishu naturally sensed He Lüqing’s small negative emotions. But because he loved the man, he could ignore them. He Lüqing’s affection was like a candle in the dark, and Xin Qishu was the moth flying toward it.

He thought the candle had a glass cover—that he could see the light and feel the heat without losing his life. He didn’t realize the candle was lit specifically to take it.

Lüqing held him in silence, not knowing how to persuade him, and patted his back gently. “It’s the same everywhere.”

“How could it be the same…” Xin Qishu’s voice was raspy. Large tears rolled from his gem-like eyes down his fair cheeks.

“There might be some misunderstandings. We just need to clear them up. I’ll call Fei Jia in and we can talk,” He Lüqing suggested.

“NO!” Xin Qishu suddenly shouted, glaring at him. “Fei Jia leaks my whereabouts at will. My every move is watched. Anyone can plot against me, and my sorrow becomes a stepping stone for others to gain my favor!”

“As for the others…”

“Even without you, I didn’t plan on going back this time.” He couldn’t untie the knot in his heart, so he chose to ignore it. After speaking, he began to sob quietly.

Lüqing’s hand paused. His voice came from above, sounding slightly heavy: “Don’t cry. We won’t go back. From now on, I will protect you no matter where we are.”

“I have the bracelet you gave me safely stored. No one in the Demon Abyss can defeat me. No one will bully you again.”

With a basketful of tender words and the promise he wanted, Xin Qishu finally let out a loud wail.

As the front of He Lüqing’s robes grew damp, Xin Qishu curled up in his arms. He Lüqing’s expression, however, gradually grew cold.

The rain continued to fall, drifting into the eaves.

Fei Jia waited anxiously outside. The room was sealed with a spiritual barrier; he couldn’t hear a thing.

The door opened, and He Lüqing stepped out alone. A sword tip was pointed directly at his brow, but He Lüqing remained unmoved.

Fei Jia’s eyes were dark with exhaustion. “Let me in.”

“No, he doesn’t want to see you.” He Lüqing ignored the sword, looking at Fei Jia with indifference. “Leave.”

“You’re the one who should leave!” Fei Jia snarled. “What are your intentions in getting close to him?”

“Hand him over to me!” Fei Jia had rushed back the moment he got the news last night and was at his wit’s end.

Lüqing rolled his sleeves. “He told me everything. Do you think you’ve treated him right?”

A hint of pity for Xin Qishu surfaced in He Lüqing’s eyes. He whispered, “I should have killed you back on Mount Lizhi.”

Fei Jia’s expression darkened; that was a memory he hated. On Mount Lizhi, Xin Qishu had fallen for He Lüqing at first sight. If he had succeeded in stopping it… it would have been him, or no, Xu Qiyao.

Fei Jia’s face was gray. “I want to say a few words to Qishu.”

“No.” Lüqing lowered his gaze and drew his sword. Fei Jia’s blade was parried away.

The two began to fight. After a short while, the victor was clear.

Fei Jia was kicked against the wall, a smear of crimson appearing at the corner of his mouth. He stared at He Lüqing with resentment and jealousy. “Refining the soul requires soil from the Demon Abyss. I’ll be waiting for you.”

His eyes gleamed with a cold light. “Once you come, don’t even think about leaving.”

“You seem to know a lot,” He Lüqing smirked mockingly. “What were you fantasizing about?”

“Get lost.”

He Lüqing threw Fei Jia out.