Still Secretly In Love With My Enemy Today - Chapter 50

Chapter 50: 

 

Xie Huaishuang was already possessed of a striking, vivid beauty. Within the humid, sweltering steam of the bath, his usual “ten-out-of-ten” appearance intensified to a “twelve.”

 

“Have you seen enough yet?”

 

He leaned against the side of the wooden tub, looking at me. His brow was damp with water, his features as sharp as fresh ink on paper. Strands of his long hair floated on the surface of the water, swaying alongside the blurred shadows.

 

As he spoke, he lifted a leg to press against me, keeping me from getting closer. His knee broke the surface of the water—glistening white, with droplets trailing down. The parts beneath the water shimmered indistinctly, showing only a vague silhouette.

 

“Am I exactly as you described? Soaking every day in nine types of flower petals? Starting with magnolia, then begonia, followed by peach, pear, plum, lotus, peony, rose, and Chinese peony?”

 

He repeated the nonsense I had just spouted word-for-word. While he spoke, he gathered his hair to one side. I reached down and grasped his ankle.

 

“Even if you aren’t doing it today, who’s to say you didn’t do it in the past?”

 

He didn’t use much force. With a slight squeeze of his ankle, I pressed his leg back down. He lowered his eyes, watching me draw near. His skin was usually as pale as mutton-fat jade, but now it was flushed a soft pink from the heat. When I kissed his lips, they were warmer than usual.

 

“Maybe you used to wash like that in secret.”

 

“Do I look like I have nothing better to do?” Xie Huaishuang looked at me with amusement, his voice mingling with the splashing water. “Why would I spend hours every day fussing over such things?”

 

“Because you calculated it all along.”

 

Wrapped in a layer of water, his skin felt even softer than usual. I found his wrist and continued my playful accusations.

 

“You did it on purpose. You deliberately seduced me until I was captivated, so that I could never bring myself to kill you. That way, you could win, and you could do whatever you wanted with me. It was a conspiracy.”

 

Xie Huaishuang was genuinely startled by my babbling. He froze for a moment when I pulled him by the waist, then struggled briefly, sending water sloshing over the sides.

 

“You’ve succeeded. Look at what’s become of me. You’ve even seen me without my clothes on.”

 

He opened his mouth to retort but couldn’t find the words. He didn’t stop my hand as it slid down the side of his waist.

 

“And you’ve seen it several times. You have to take responsibility for me.”

 

“Can you… can you just talk a little less?”

 

“Why shouldn’t I talk? You can’t just discard me after the novelty wears off. That’s called being a heartless lover, a fickle man. Do you know that?”

 

“What kind of utter rubb—”

 

His voice cut off abruptly. A muffled groan was forced back into his throat, short and sharp. My hand stopped moving. I saw the flush on his face deepen significantly, his brow furrowing.

 

“Does it hurt?”

 

He took a few ragged breaths, leaning back without speaking. After a moment, he shook his head. This wasn’t the first time, yet he was always like this—tense as a drawn bowstring. He was far more sensitive than most, yet he refused to say anything when asked, being compliant to an almost excessive degree.

 

I didn’t know how the Temple had raised him to be this way, but I felt it was time to help him break this habit.

 

“Doesn’t it hurt?”

 

I moved my fingers half an inch further. He trembled visibly in the water. I asked him, “Then what is it?”

 

Still, he shook his head, teeth clenched. When I touched a certain spot, the hand resting on my shoulder curled into a tight grip.

 

“If you don’t tell me, how am I supposed to know?”

 

I circled, pressed, and rubbed. Xie Huaishuang’s arm shook as it slipped down, splashing the surface, before he gripped the edge of the tub so hard his knuckles turned white.

 

I had told him before that the hands of those from Iron Cloud City were very dexterous. When I whispered this into his ear again, he glared at me. His gaze was losing focus, yet he still bit his lower lip, refusing to let a single syllable escape.

 

“If you tell me to go slower, I’ll go slower.”

 

Xie Huaishuang turned his head away, refusing to look at me, leaving me only with the sight of the red at the corner of his eye—achingly beautiful amidst the steam. I couldn’t help it. I kissed him.

 

“Why are you ignoring me again?”

 

Finally, as if pushed past his limit, he spoke in a low, wavering breath: “Don’t ask…”

 

“Why not?”

 

“Don’t… don’t mind me…”

 

I turned his face back toward mine. “Why shouldn’t I mind you? Should I only care about my own pleasure?”

 

Xie Huaishuang’s expression was becoming dazed. It took two repetitions of the question before he reacted, and then he slowly, actually nodded.

 

“That won’t do.”

 

His brow furrowed sharply again before slowly relaxing. “There’s nothing wrong with it…”

 

In the past, he had always endured in silence. I had relied on my own scattered logic and observation to make sure I didn’t push him too far. It seemed he hadn’t learned his lesson.

 

The calluses on my hands were in different places than his. Every time I pressed a calloused area against him, he would shiver violently, an occasional half-sound escaping his lips.

 

“Do you not want me to touch here?”

 

Strands of hair clung to his face; I couldn’t tell if the moisture trailing down was water or tears. He bit his lip to suppress his sobs. Even so, he still shook his head, the water swaying chaotically around us. Usually, I would have stopped by now. But not today.

 

“Do you like it? Or do you hate it?”

 

“You…”

 

He barely managed one word before he jolted, his head falling back weakly. Like a drift of snow, he seemed to melt in my hands and the warm water. If my other hand hadn’t been holding him, he would have slipped under.

 

“Me, what?”

 

When I pressed again, his whimpers could no longer be contained. Xie Huaishuang shook uncontrollably, his fingers grasping blindly and finding nothing but the shifting water. Those two deep green pools in his eyes seemed to shatter. He was soaked from head to toe.

 

“Should I stop for a moment?”

 

His jaw finally relaxed, his lips parting slightly. His breath and his words were caught in his throat.

 

“Should I? Do you want me to stop for a moment?”

 

He finally gave a subconscious nod and let out a frantic, whispered reply: “Stop… stop for a moment…”

 

As I ceased my movements, his trembling gradually subsided. He remained in the water, breathing hard.

 

“That’s better.”

 

Xie Huaishuang didn’t seem to be listening, so I repeated myself: “You have to speak up. Do you understand?”

 

His expression was still vacant. I kissed him from his forehead to the corner of his eyes, then to the tip of his nose. He just stared at me blankly, his gaze hazy.

 

“I can’t be the only one who’s happy.”

 

When I kissed the corner of his mouth, he finally reacted, instinctively tilting his head to respond with a light touch.

 

“If you want to make me happy, you don’t have to give me everything,” I told him. “If you’re uncomfortable or can’t take it, I won’t be happy either. Only when you’re happy can I be truly happy. Tell me what you want and what you don’t, alright?”

 

Xie Huaishuang waited a moment, his gaze slowly regaining its focus. He didn’t speak, but after a long while, he nodded. He leaned against my shoulder, his arms slowly reaching around to encircle my neck.

 

“What do you want now?”

 

He lifted his head. “I want you to kiss me.”

 

I did as he asked. “And then?”

 

His hand rose. His water-slicked wrist and fingers looked even more radiant than usual. He hesitated, then let his hand fall to my chest.

 

“What are you laughing at?” He glared. “Am I not allowed to touch?”

 

“You are.”

 

He seemed quite satisfied with the feeling of the muscles there, moving his hand from my chest downward, alternating between light and heavy pressure. When his fingertips touched my lower abdomen, I couldn’t hold back any longer. I caught his wrist.

 

“What else?”

 

He went silent, those deep green eyes staring into mine.

 

“Do you want me?”

 

…

 

Though we had intended to “bathe,” it was two hours later before we finally lay back in bed, clean and dry.

 

I thought Xie Huaishuang had fallen asleep, but as I reached to lower the bed curtains, he tugged at the hem of my robe. He was lying on his side, his long hair spread across the pillow, half his face buried in it. His fingers were still hooked into my clothes when I turned around.

 

“What is it?”

 

“Don’t close them yet.”

 

Xie Huaishuang’s voice was raspy again. I asked, “Do you want water?”

 

“No.” He sat up slightly. “Lie down.”

 

I didn’t understand what he wanted, but I complied. I jumped when he pulled my shirt open. “What are you doing?”

 

Xie Huaishuang glanced at me. “You have strength left; I have none.”

 

He pulled my top all the way open as he spoke, his gaze falling. After a moment, his fingertips pressed against a spot two inches below my collarbone. “I left this?”

 

“No…”

 

“And here.” His finger traced accurately to another spot, pausing before moving down. “This one too.”

 

“They don’t hurt anymore.”

 

I should have known better than to mention those old wounds to him that day; he had taken them to heart. I pulled him back into my arms. “Really, they didn’t even hurt much at the time…”

 

“Are you saying my swordsmanship is poor?”

 

“…That’s not it either.”

 

I shut my mouth, watching him gently stroke over the marks once more. The winding scar on his left hand caught my eye. I held his wrist. “I’ve hurt you too.”

 

“I don’t blame you.”

 

“Then who? My sword?”

 

“I blame the sword.”

 

Sometimes, Xie Huaishuang simply refused to be reasonable. Having said his piece, he looked at other parts of me. “When did you get this one?”

 

I thought for a moment. “Five years ago? Or six… I forget. That was when the Xuzhou secret branch was discovered.”

 

Xie Huaishuang nodded, asking about every single mark until he stopped at the new wound that hadn’t quite healed yet. “Is it always this dangerous?”

 

“The more danger we are in, the safer the secret branches are.”

 

Xie Huaishuang had no fewer scars than I did. Sword wounds, burn marks—long, short, deep, and shallow—hidden beneath his collar. When his sleeves slipped to his elbows, they revealed small, dense scars.

 

Left there by Linlang Pavilion.

 

Xie Huaishuang was quiet for a long time as he watched me touch each of his scars in return. Suddenly, he spoke: “The Temple hasn’t been a match for you for a long time, has it?”

 

“It hasn’t.”

 

“Then why didn’t you act sooner?”

 

“Overthrowing the Temple is easy. Replacing it… that’s the hard part.” I slowly smoothed out his hair. “So many people believe in them. Changing everyone’s minds isn’t something that happens overnight.”

 

If we acted while everyone still devoutly believed in the Temple, even if we won the war, what would happen? Countless people would fight Iron Cloud City to the death to protect their faith. The City Lord had drummed this into us over and over.

 

That was why Iron Cloud City had split into two groups: the public and the secret. We attracted the Temple’s attention while the secret branches spent years infiltrating every corner of Western Ling with our technology and ideas.

 

I didn’t need to say much; Xie Huaishuang understood immediately.

 

“Is it time now?”

 

“We were a little short of the goal.” I finally finished sorting through all of his long hair. “But that play I acted out with you gave things another push.”

 

Xie Huaishuang hummed. Ignoring his own pillow, he squeezed onto mine.

 

“Don’t you have your own?” It was one he had carefully selected himself—the fabric and pattern were exactly what he liked.

 

“Sleep,” he said, ignoring me. “Tomorrow… we can’t wake up too late. We still have to show the City Lord the defensive layouts for Xuzhou.”

 

“Alright.”

 

“It’s been a long time since I fought you. Did you modify that mechanical umbrella today? I’ll test it against you tomorrow.”

 

“Will you be up for it tomorrow?”

 

“…If I’m not, I’ll settle the score with you.”