Still Secretly In Love With My Enemy Today - Chapter 24

Chapter 24: 

 

On the second day of Xie Huaishuang’s sleep, the first flower bloomed on the peony he liked so much.

 

Afraid I’d forget, I took a break from my blueprints to sketch it and make a note. He’ll definitely ask about it when he wakes up.

 

While feeding him his medicine, I couldn’t hold back anymore and started tentatively talking to him.

 

—Even though I knew perfectly well he couldn’t hear me.

 

“Xie Huaishuang.”

 

As expected, no response.

 

“I’ve never met anyone more troublesome than you.”

 

Xie Huaishuang remained with his eyes closed, his lashes casting soft shadows. His head leaned slightly against the pillow, his long hair cascading down. It took a long time to get him to swallow a single spoonful of medicine.

 

After saying it, I felt a twinge of guilt. What if he could actually hear me?

 

“Forget it, act like I didn’t say that. I didn’t mean it that way.” I scooped up another bit of medicine. “I didn’t mean to say you’re not good. You’re actually… well, you’re quite alright.”

 

Xie Huaishuang ignored me, his breathing remaining light and rhythmic.

 

“I’ve been gathering news about the Temple. Once you’re better, we’ll go and get your sword back.”

 

At that thought, the spoon paused in the bowl.

 

“When I start making trouble for the Temple, you won’t stop me, will you?”

 

But I quickly nodded to myself: “You definitely won’t now—be good, just one spoonful left.”

 

Xie Huaishuang finally swallowed all the medicine. I helped him lie back down and pressed each of his acupoints exactly as Ye Jingwei had instructed.

 

Aside from brewing and feeding him medicine, Ye Jingwei had left a long list of other tasks. Between the new blueprints and proposals I had to send back to Iron Cloud City this month, and her iron puppets, I realized I truly did need that jar of strange-smelling black pills.

 

By the fifth day of my days and nights becoming increasingly inverted, I started searching for a mirror.

 

According to Ye Jingwei, his sight or hearing could return at any moment between the first day and the end of the two-month detoxification period.

 

Even though there were ten days left until he was supposed to wake up, what if dark circles under my eyes were the kind that lingered? I didn’t particularly want him to see me looking like this.

 

I dug out a mirror, checked my reflection, studied it for a moment, and promptly flipped it face down.

 

Those are some very obvious dark circles.

 

Annoyed by my own appearance, I went back to sit by the bed and look at Xie Huaishuang.

 

He, on the other hand, was sleeping peacefully. Lying there motionless, he looked more like a breathing porcelain statue than a person.

 

“If you dare laugh at me,” I poked his palm, “I’ll…”

 

I’ll what?

 

After thinking for a long while, I realized I couldn’t think of a single thing I’d actually do to him. I hurriedly pushed the thought aside.

 

“That sword of yours—once we get it back, I’ll modify the internal mechanisms for you.”

 

I tucked his hand back under the covers. “The Temple’s craftsmanship is definitely not as good as mine.”

 

Outside, it was another day of spring rain. The droplets pitter-pattered from the eaves in a continuous string, a chill seeping through the curtains. I pulled the quilt a bit higher for him, tucking the corners in tight, and watched him, lost in thought.

 

I certainly don’t want to kill him anymore. And if I don’t want to kill him, I suppose he can’t be considered an “enemy” anymore.

 

So, what should he be? A friend?

 

But I have many friends—the City Lord, my senior sister, my senior brother, Dali, and many others. Yet I always felt that Xie Huaishuang was different from them.

 

When I’m with Xie Huaishuang, the world feels fuller and lighter. All the soft, bright things I once ignored—intentionally or not—flow through his fingertips and into my eyes. Because of him, spring water rises in my heart, tinkling against the iron gears of my soul.

 

I think, based on that alone, I’d be very willing to stay with him from morning till night.

 

Moreover—I tentatively touched his eyelashes, which were like butterfly wings—he is the most skilled martial artist I’ve ever seen, the sharpest blade I’ve ever encountered.

 

The City Lord was right back then. He and I are perfectly matched opponents.

 

Xie Huaishuang is different from all my friends; no one else haunts me so completely, even as a shadow.

 

Not an enemy, not quite a friend. I felt I was getting closer to the answer, but it was still obscured by a hazy, unrecognizable mist.

 

“What are you thinking?” I rested my chin on my hand, watching him. “What do you… see me as?”

 

He said I was a good person, and that I was important to him. Whenever I replayed those words in my head, a strange emotion always rose in my heart.

 

I was happy, of course—it was a genuine compliment. But that happiness was always followed by a surge of disappointment, as if such an evaluation wasn’t enough for me—not nearly enough.

 

What is it that I actually want?

 

…

 

On the ninth day of Xie Huaishuang’s sleep, Ye Jingwei sauntered in again.

 

She checked on Xie Huaishuang and then looked at me. I was nervous and asked: “Is there… is there a problem?”

 

“Not a single problem.” Ye Jingwei raised an eyebrow. “You’re more attentive than I expected.”

 

I finally let out a sigh of relief. Ye Jingwei pointed to my eyes and nodded with satisfaction. “Seeing that you’ve completely given up on sleep makes me feel at ease. Where are my iron puppets? How much longer until they’re done?”

 

“They’ll be sent by the end of the month.”

 

“Good.”

 

Ye Jingwei didn’t plan on staying long. She gave a few more instructions and stood up to leave. After a moment’s hesitation, I called out to her.

 

“What is it?”

 

I hesitated. “I have something… I want to ask your advice on.”

 

I had been thinking about this from morning till night, from the bedside to the porch steps, from the medicine stove to my desk, and I still couldn’t figure it out.

 

They say onlookers see most clearly. I thought perhaps Ye Jingwei could provide some insight.

 

“I have a friend.”

 

I chose my words carefully. “This friend of mine…”

 

“Which friend?”

 

Ye Jingwei narrowed her eyes, scanning me up and down. I said: “A friend you don’t know.”

 

She nodded, signaling me to continue.

 

“This friend… he knows someone.” I glanced at Xie Huaishuang and quickly looked away. “He feels this person is very important to him. He wants to be with them all the time, and everything he does reminds him of this person. Tell me, what is the relationship between my friend and this person? Can they be considered friends?”

 

Ye Jingwei stared at me, then suddenly let out a cold laugh.

 

“I really want to give you a needle just to see if you’ve actually gone brain-dead.”

 

Her voice suddenly jumped an octave as she pointed at Xie Huaishuang: “You blockhead! You idiot! Can’t you see it yourself? You’ve fallen for him, don’t you get it? I’ll say it again: you like him, you’re in love with him! Don’t come bothering me with this kind of thing again, or I’ll stick a needle in you so deep you won’t be able to move for the rest of your life, believe me?”

 

I… like Xie Huaishuang?

 

Like my former arch-nemesis? Is a person even allowed to do that?

 

“But we used to be enemies…”

 

“So what if you were rivals? Is there a shortage of rivals who end up holding each other and kissing?” Ye Jingwei was already reaching for her needle case. “Whether you like someone or not, what does that have to do with their status? What does it have to do with anything? No, I have to make you a mute today…”

 

Ye Jingwei suddenly stopped moving, looking as if she’d seen a ghost as I grabbed her shoulders and shook her back and forth.

 

“You’re a genius! A true miracle worker!”

 

It finally made sense! If liking your rival is no big deal, then me liking Xie Huaishuang is no big deal either—I might have liked him for a long time. That’s why he’s different from everyone else. I just like him.

 

No wonder he’s different from everyone else, different from the whole world. No wonder I always thought I hated him, only to realize I didn’t even know what I was hating, only that he was the only thing I saw.

 

So that’s it. I just like Xie Huaishuang!

 

The dark, winding path in my mind suddenly opened up into a bright clearing, like solving an incredibly difficult problem. I was so excited my whole body started shaking uncontrollably. I shook Ye Jingwei again: “You’re a miracle doctor! A genius!”

 

Ye Jingwei screamed that I better have those iron puppets to her by the end of the month and fled as if for her life.

 

…

 

I went from checking on Xie Huaishuang sixty-three times a day to one hundred and nine times a day.

 

The moment he wakes up, I thought, I’ll tell him. I’ll tell him I don’t just “like” him as a person—I’m in love with him.

 

I was so used to saying I wanted to kill him or beat him, I’d never said anything like that to him. So, I started trying it out on the sleeping Xie Huaishuang first.

 

Of course, it’s not that I wanted to say it many times. I was just practicing.

 

“Xie Huaishuang.”

 

I helped him sit up against the pillow and scooped up a spoonful of medicine.

 

I had been so happy when I figured it out, but now the words were trembling on the tip of my tongue, refusing to come out. I waited for him to swallow and tried again.

 

“Xie Huaishuang.”

 

He remained peacefully silent, eyes closed, zero reaction. He definitely couldn’t hear me.

 

“I… well, I might… I mean maybe, just a possibility, a slim chance.”

 

The spoon clinked against the bottom of the bowl. I lowered my head and stared at the dark liquid, watching my own blurry reflection trembling along with the surface of the medicine.

 

“Maybe—I’m saying maybe—I like you.”

 

The moment I said it, I looked up at him. Still a motionless little white porcelain statue, not a single hair out of place.

 

Some things only happen zero times or an infinite number of times. I fed him the second spoonful. “I just like you.”

 

The third spoonful: “You definitely don’t know that I like you.”

 

Setting the empty bowl on the table, I poked his palm: “So what? I still like you.”

 

The words came out naturally now, not at all like the frozen stream from fifteen minutes ago that wouldn’t flow.

 

—I truly am a genius!

 

I thought this with deep sincerity as I watered the flowers in the courtyard.

 

Xie Huaishuang has five days left until he wakes up. Most of the plants he chose were just buds when we bought them. Ten days later, they have begun to bloom one after another. Various scents drifted through the air, illuminated by the pale golden spring light, a lively cluster of pearls and jade.

 

How did I never notice before that spring was so beautiful? Xie Huaishuang, who couldn’t see, saw it more clearly than I did.

 

Several peonies and magnolias have bloomed. I imitated Xie Huaishuang, slowly reaching out to touch them. A delicate, cool sensation slid across my fingertips. It reminded me of Xie Huaishuang’s palms and his cheeks.

 

It’s wonderful that I like Xie Huaishuang. And even better, he’ll be awake in four days and ten hours.

 

And then I can tell him…

 

Wait. I just realized I overlooked a very important problem.

 

—I like Xie Huaishuang, but nobody ever said he likes me.

 

My smile instantly froze.

 

Xie Huaishuang has never said he likes me!

 

The peaceful courtyard full of flowers, shadows, and spring dust suddenly felt like a battlefield. The more I thought about it, the more anxious I became. I scrambled to replay every word he’d said and every action he’d taken, scrutinizing them for meaning.

 

He worried about me being discovered by the Temple, he stood in front of me to block hidden arrows, he practiced Rebel Sovereign just to fulfill my wish, he smiled at me, he touched my face, he followed me through the long, crowded streets, his fingertips tracing my palm.

 

My brow relaxed. It seemed very likely he liked me.

 

But—as I was installing the drive shaft for the iron puppet, my heart started racing again—he also smiles at Chunhua and Coral, he would rather be hurt than see them suffer, and he’d probably pet any stray dog on the street.

 

My brow furrowed again as I turned to look at the faint shadow behind the bed curtains.

 

What if—I mean what if, just as a possibility, a small chance—what if he’s just the kind of person who is nice to everyone and happy to see anyone?

 

I accidentally pressed too hard on a copper plate, and gears of all sizes scattered across the table, clattering loudly.

 

Perhaps I won’t even need that black pill to stay awake tonight. With these thoughts spinning in my head, I’ll have no shortage of sleeplessness.