SS-Class Guide - Chapter 4

An Yuan stared at the street scenery passing outside the car window, feeling somewhat dazed.

It felt as though meeting Gu Hanqing was only yesterday, yet he could not understand why their relationship had turned out like this.

They first met when he was sixteen. Then, when he was eighteen; that particular period had been a deeply painful year for An Yuan.

Matters of the heart are difficult to explain. Back then, An Yuan realized he was in love with Wen Xiuyan, whom he had grown up with, but this was destined to be a forbidden, unrequited love.

An Yuan loved Madam Wen. Having been by her side since childhood, she was the person he respected most in his life. At a time when he lacked any embrace, care, or love from his own elders, Madam Wen had given him everything.

Madam Wen would often say to him, “What a pity, our A-Yuan isn’t a girl.”

Yes, he was not a girl. Although many same-sex couples formed unions in this chaotic era, only female partners could carry on the family line. Madam Wen said that if he were a girl, or if Wen Xiuyan were a girl, they would surely be together; perhaps they would even have a very lovely child between them.

At that time, An Yuan felt his face flush with heat, overcome by a sense of shame. But simultaneously, it was because of Madam Wen’s words that An Yuan realized he loved Wen Xiuyan.

Wen Xiuyan had said with a smile, “Mom, do not talk nonsense; you are going to scare A-Yuan.” He added, “A-Yuan and I are the best of brothers.”

Madam Wen affectionately held An Yuan’s hand and said, “That is why Mother said ‘if’.”

Wen Xiuyan replied, “There are no ‘ifs’.” After a pause, he looked at An Yuan with eyes as clear as the sky and said, “Even if there were an ‘if’, A-Yuan and I would probably be brother and sister, would we not?”

An Yuan had responded then: “Yes.”

Whether for Madam Wen’s sake or Wen Xiuyan’s, he had to sever his feelings for him. It was better for both of them. At the cusp of adulthood, he realized his emotions could never bear fruit.

After entering university, An Yuan met all sorts of people, and in a sense, he truly returned to normal. He recognized the crush he should not have had and accepted that it was doomed to lead nowhere. An Yuan stopped visiting the Wen household and avoided Wen Xiuyan as much as possible.

During the period when Wen Xiuyan was not by An Yuan’s side, Gu Hanqing accompanied An Yuan the entire time. An Yuan told himself over and over that he and Wen Xiuyan were brothers; there would never be any feeling between them beyond brotherhood. Wen Xiuyan was the person he cherished most, and he was his best friend. Through this repetitive, almost brainwashing self-hypnosis, An Yuan successfully severed his unrequited love for Wen Xiuyan.

In his sophomore year, on a cold winter night with swirling snow, Gu Hanqing held his hand and said, “An Yuan, I like you.”

Their eyes met. Gu Hanqing said, “I am not gay. I only like you.”

An Yuan’s heart panicked then; he did not know how to respond or how he should respond.

Gu Hanqing said, “No, a more accurate way to put it is, I love you.”

At that moment, An Yuan’s thought was to reject Gu Hanqing. But Gu Hanqing said, “An Yuan, I want to walk this path with you forever, for a long, long time. Can we give it a try?”

As if fearing An Yuan would refuse, Gu Hanqing placed his hand over An Yuan’s lips and whispered, “Just a trial. If you still feel we are not suited after trying, then we will break up, okay?” He continued, “Trust me, I guarantee on my reputation: if it does not work out after a try, I absolutely will not pester you. We will break up.”

Gu Hanqing successfully persuaded An Yuan. Everyone said that university was the prime age for romance. After a moment’s hesitation, An Yuan said, “Then, let us give it a try.”

Gu Hanqing was truly happy back then. The young man, who had always seemed quite cold, held An Yuan and spun him around several times in joy after receiving his answer. An Yuan felt guilty at the time because he did not actually love Gu Hanqing. Perhaps because of that guilt, he began to care more deeply about Gu Hanqing.

In the beginning, An Yuan tried to hide the fact that he was dating Gu Hanqing. On one hand, same-sex relationships were still not fully accepted by the public; on the other, he did not know how to tell his family and friends. But unlike An Yuan, while he tried to cover it up, Gu Hanqing stubbornly insisted on announcing to the world that they belonged to each other and were lovers.

Perhaps moved by Gu Hanqing’s devotion, An Yuan’s initial resistance faded. He thought that Gu Hanqing truly cherished their relationship, cherished it enough to face the judgmental gazes of others. Naturally, An Yuan reintroduced Gu Hanqing to everyone around him as his partner.

An Yuan’s father offered no objections. In fact, Father An was quite satisfied with Gu Hanqing. Gu Hanqing was recognized as the first SS-rank powerhouse in the Five Great Districts; he possessed a brilliant future and would bring immense benefits to the An family.

Madam Wen smiled as she always did. She said jokingly that if she had known An Yuan liked boys, she would have let Wen Xiuyan try to pursue him. It was a pity, she mused, that the two of them had grown up together without ever developing feelings beyond brotherhood; they were simply not fated.

An Yuan smiled and said, “Auntie Wen, Xiuyan is my best friend.”

Madam Wen looked at Gu Hanqing with a gentle gaze and said, “Just seeing how Hanqing cannot wait to show off your relationship to the world, one can tell he loves you very much.”

They met at sixteen; at twenty, An Yuan and Gu Hanqing confirmed their relationship and announced it to those around them. At twenty-two, upon graduating from university, they officially entered the Thean Temple to work.

On graduation day, Gu Hanqing tentatively asked An Yuan if they could move in together. An Yuan said he needed to think about it. An Yuan thought for a week. During that week, Gu Hanqing appeared restless; he wanted to be with him every single day.

Gu Hanqing said he had noticed before that many people in the Thean Temple liked An Yuan. The Five Great Districts did not guarantee same-sex marriage systems. Because so many people liked An Yuan, Gu Hanqing felt insecure. He felt that being mere lovers was not enough; they had to live together.

An Yuan had originally intended to refuse, but seeing Gu Hanqing’s anxious state, he ultimately agreed. From age twenty-two to twenty-four, in the blink of an eye, they had been living together for three years.

They had their first argument, then a second, a third. What was the first argument about? Recalling carefully, it seemed to be Gu Hanqing’s childhood friend, Ning Yuanqiao. An Yuan could no longer remember exactly what happened, only that it was a trivial matter that escalated into a quarrel. After that, they fought and reconciled repeatedly until, eventually, they became accustomed to the arguing.

An Yuan looked at the street view outside the window and felt a sense of absurdity. When he first started dating Gu Hanqing, he was worried that Gu Hanqing would find out about his past feelings for Wen Xiuyan and that it would affect their relationship. However, over the years, An Yuan had always maintained his distance from Wen Xiuyan. He never imagined that the problem would arise from Gu Hanqing’s side instead.

An Yuan let out a soft sigh. Wen Xiuyan, sitting in the driver’s seat, turned his head toward An Yuan and asked, “A-Yuan, what is wrong?”

An Yuan looked ahead and said, “Xiuyan, the light is green.”

As the car moved forward again, Wen Xiuyan said, “You were sighing.”

“I was thinking that there are always many things in life that do not go as planned,” An Yuan said.

“True,” Wen Xiuyan agreed. “Just like Xiuyu; she had her first crush, but it came to nothing.”

An Yuan asked, “Are you talking about today’s roses?”

Wen Xiuyan smiled. Shortly after, the car pulled into the underground parking lot of Moon Over the Sea. A staff member in uniform came to greet them and led them to a private room upstairs. Because it was the Qixi Festival, the entire restaurant exuded a romantic atmosphere. The customers coming and going looked very intimate.

An Yuan remarked, “This feels like being in a lovers’ hotel.”

As they chatted, they were led into the private room. Wen Xiuyan said jokingly, “Since it gave you that impression, why do we not change today’s lunch to a couple’s set menu?”

An Yuan refused, “No, I am someone with a partner. It would not be good if word got out.”

In this regard, An Yuan had always maintained very clear boundaries, never giving others false hope or allowing misunderstandings to arise. The two ate lunch according to Wen Xiuyan’s original arrangement. After finishing their meal, they returned to the Thean Temple and went their separate ways.

An Yuan entered his office and began preparing for the afternoon’s work. Suddenly, a knock sounded at the door.

An Yuan said, “Come in.”

The person who pushed the door open was his assistant, Xing Lulu. An Yuan assumed Xing Lulu intended to report on work matters, but to his surprise, she looked around suspiciously and pointed toward the white noise room. “Lord An Yuan, can we speak in there?” she asked, her gaze cautious.

Sentinels and Guides possessed five senses far beyond those of ordinary people. If one wanted to discuss secrets without sending private messages, it was best to do so in a white noise room. Thinking Xing Lulu might have some personal difficulty, An Yuan stood up and said, “Alright.”

The two walked into the white noise room one after the other. The metal doors slid open and then sealed shut. Sensing someone had entered, the room’s internal system automatically activated, playing the sound of crashing ocean waves. An Yuan sat in his work chair and signaled for Xing Lulu to sit opposite him.

Xing Lulu shook her head and said, “Lord An Yuan, I just wanted to tell you something.”

The incandescent light shone down on An Yuan. An Yuan had white hair, ice-gray eyes, and skin as pale as snow. When the light hit him, he gave off a feeling of extreme fragility, like an ice flower formed in a frozen world: beautiful yet brittle.

An Yuan’s gaze was gentle as he asked, “What is it?”

Xing Lulu took a deep breath and said, “Actually, if it were anyone else’s business, I definitely would not say anything. But Lord An Yuan, it is about you. I have to speak up!”

An Yuan’s eyelid flickered. He smiled and said, “It seems this is very important to me. Lulu, I should thank you for being willing to tell me.”

Xing Lulu said, “It is like this: I heard that today, Lord Gu Hanqing gave Guide Ning Yuanqiao roses!”

An Yuan thought, “I already know this.” An Yuan paused, then said with a smile, “Lulu, I think I know what you want to say. But do you think it is possible it is just a misunderstanding?” He added, “Look, I received two bouquets of roses today myself.”

Xing Lulu frowned. “No, I saw it with my own eyes. Guide Ning Yuanqiao threw himself into Lord Gu Hanqing’s arms!”

An Yuan’s eyes narrowed slightly.

Xing Lulu’s voice grew agitated as she continued, “And then, Sentinel Gu Hanqing did not just fail to push him away; he actually hugged him back!”

Almost the instant Xing Lulu finished speaking, a cold notification tone rang out within the white noise room.

“Detection of mental energy dissipation. Your mental energy barrier has collapsed. Please stabilize your emotions quickly and maintain a relaxed state. Establish a new mental energy barrier to block the trauma to your spiritual landscape caused by hyper-senses. Now providing the environment most suitable for your peace of mind.”

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