She Is Such A Jerk, And Yet She’s The One Crying! - Chapter 46

The two words “high treason” carry a weight that no one can bear. Jiang Weilan seemed to have his shoulders bowed by this crime, yet his spine remained as unyielding as iron.

He looked into Jiang Nanyang’s eyes and said, “Although Her Royal Highness the Eldest Princess is a woman, she possesses the legacy of the late Empress Xiaochun. She is strong-willed, well-versed in statecraft and strategy, and knows both gratitude and righteousness. In these troubled times, we need such an enlightened ruler. A fine bird chooses the tree upon which it perches, General. Even if we disregard our personal interests, you and I must think of the common people. The Emperor shows leniency toward enemies but acts absurdly toward his subjects—in what way does he resemble an enlightened monarch!”

“Jiang Weilan, how could you harbor such rebellious thoughts!” Jiang Nanyang commanded him to stop. “The Emperor is merely confused for a moment. Your kinsmen have all been dragged into this, so you follow suit in rebellion, but I cannot. I have a young son at home, barely of school age; how can I lead my wife and child into such peril?”

Jiang Weilan pointed to his own chest, speaking with earnest bitterness: “What is the relationship between us? If I am convicted, how could you possibly escape unscathed, General?”

Jiang Nanyang said, “I am the head of the Eight Divisions, the Great General of this dynasty, a pillar of the imperial court. The Emperor has need of me; he certainly will not implicate me… As for you, Jiang Weilan, after Nanci and Lihan passed away, you had no concerns left. Your two daughters are both married to the Eldest Princess’s subordinates—how could you not join the rebellion? You have no choice, but do not think to drag me down with you.”

Jiang Weilan beat his chest in frustration: “You, oh you, you are truly muddled.”

Jiang Nanyang snorted coldly: “How am I muddled? You are the one who is utterly confused.”

Both had drunk a great deal of wine, and the more they argued, the more they seemed intoxicated. Finally, these two drunks began to scuffle, clutching each other’s sleeves and hurling insults.

After Jiang Nanci passed away years ago, the two rarely met, as if they both feared recalling the pain of the loss they had suffered until now. Between kinsmen, there was a barrier of sorrow that neither dared mention, nor dared to pierce the wound.

A fight was for the best; it wasn’t for any particular reason. They fought with bare hands for a long time, crying and laughing heartily, cursing this wretched world and their suffering lives.

As dawn approached, the two woke from their stupor. Lying on the ground under the open sky, they looked at the heavens simultaneously. It was another overcast day, as if the sun were gone and a dark moon held sway.

Jiang Nanyang covered his eyes and sighed deeply, “Allow me to go back and think it over carefully, to settle my wife and child.”

“Sister, you won’t blame me for abruptly revealing our relationship at the banquet, will you?” Qiang Ning acted spoiled after getting her way, not looking like she was seeking forgiveness, but rather like she was claiming credit. “Sister, don’t be angry. It was a last resort.”

Words once spoken cannot be taken back, so there was no point in offering blame. Lin Dongruan did not say much about it, only stating that she did not mind.

Qiang Ning suddenly stopped in her tracks, feeling somewhat dissatisfied in her heart: “Sister, do you have nothing else to say about this?”

Lin Dongruan smiled: “Then what does A-Ning wish to hear?”

“Such a perfunctory attitude, as if it were child’s play,” Qiang Ning grumbled. “What do you mean ‘what do I wish to hear’? Sister, do you really have nothing to say?”

For instance, those words she had spoken just now at the banquet…

“True.” Lin Dongruan suddenly remembered something; the official business that had been interrupted last time had not yet been discussed with A-Ning. The celestial omens from years ago, the dying words of the late Empress, the various truths hidden beneath the dust of time… and, the future overthrow of the dynasty, the bloody struggle within the palace.

Qiang Ning’s eyes lit up, thinking Lin Dongruan was also feeling joyful about their marriage agreement: “Sister, speak, I am listening intently.”

Lin Dongruan rose and pulled out the Xi Qing List used for plotting great affairs. Upon it were the names written in blood by many of the world’s most talented and capable men—a sacred oath.

“That day, A-Ning was feeling unwell, so there was no time to discuss official matters.” Lin Dongruan adopted a serious expression fit for business, calmly holding the Xi Qing List. “This concerns the fate of the world; I hope A-Ning will remember every word.”

Seeing her calm and dignified demeanor, Qiang Ning’s hopes instantly vanished. Everything she had been eagerly anticipating and desperately craving felt like a fleeting firework. It seemed as if she were the only one who understood this joy; Lin Dongruan would give her no response and even had the mind to discuss “official business” at this moment.

Was Lin Dongruan… unwilling? Unwilling to marry her?

Qiang Ning gripped her skirt, feeling a bit dejected: “Sister, I don’t want to hear about this.”

Lin Dongruan was currently organizing her thoughts on how to explain the events of these past years to her analytically. The moment her train of thought was interrupted, she habitually knitted her brows. She did not immediately coax Qiang Ning as the girl wished, but instead continued to think calmly of world affairs: “Not only must you listen, you must listen well. A-Ning, you must not throw a tantrum.”

“Lin Dongruan, do you think I am being unreasonable?” Qiang Ning’s submissive appearance vanished, and her face gradually darkened.

In front of Lin Dongruan, Qiang Ning was usually a coquettish junior, but before others, she often treated people with a cold face. When she did not intentionally smile, her features carried the cold, arrogant majesty unique to the scions of the imperial house.

She liked to play the “good girl” in front of Lin Dongruan, but that did not mean Lin Dongruan could constantly go against her wishes.

“Lin Dongruan, you had better carefully consider my words from today. You are not allowed to change the subject. I don’t want to hear about those trivial things.” Qiang Ning put away her smile, practically forcing the other to give a proper reaction. “What is your intention? Give me a satisfactory answer, and I can let the past be forgotten.”

Lin Dongruan was still deep in thought and did not take the time to observe Qiang Ning’s drastically different expression. She brushed over the scroll of the Xi Qing List, her gaze earnest: “In the past, I received the imperial command in a time of peril. For years, I have sighed in the quiet of the night, anxious and worried. Fortunately, I have not failed the trust placed in me and can personally present this item. A-Ning—”

Lin Dongruan solemnly handed the Xi Qing List to Qiang Ning…

Qiang Ning took it casually and tossed it aside.

“Don’t—” Lin Dongruan’s calm expression instantly turned to worry. She instinctively moved to check on the list that had been thrown to the floor.

With a cold face, Qiang Ning grabbed her around the waist: “Don’t be in such a hurry. Is that thing so important? Important enough that you won’t even listen to what I am saying?”

“A-Ning, stop messing around.” Lin Dongruan had no heart to cater to Qiang Ning’s every small emotion. She watched with her own eyes as the Xi Qing List rolled into a dusty corner on the floor; how could she remain indifferent?

Lin Dongruan pushed Qiang Ning’s hand away, leaning down to pick it up.

“I am not messing around! I am speaking to you properly—are you even listening, Lin Dongruan!” Qiang Ning was also extremely angry. She immediately grabbed Lin Dongruan’s sleeve, pulling her back to prevent her from picking it up. “What am I in your eyes? A junior not worth negotiating with seriously? What do you take me for, always telling me ‘Don’t mess around’… Clearly, I am not messing around. I am talking to you seriously, yet you only care about that little matter in your own heart. You don’t care at all about what I am thinking.”

Her intense emotional outburst finally brought Lin Dongruan’s mind back to the present. Lin Dongruan stood up, momentarily forgoing the object on the ground, and turned to comfort Qiang Ning: “A-Ning, fine. Let us set this matter aside for now. I will mention it to you again later.”

This answer was somewhat acceptable, and Qiang Ning was slightly appeased: “Then, Sister, have you considered it?”

“As long as it is A-Ning’s decision, I am willing to listen,” Lin Dongruan stated her position.

It was a show of trusting her from beginning to end.

“I don’t want you to listen to me unconditionally. I want… I want you to be genuinely happy.” Qiang Ning had received an affirmative reply, but she still felt aggrieved and awkward. She said, “From the moment we entered the door, you have not had any opinion on this. I have been waiting for your reaction.”

In her imagination, Qiang Ning thought Lin Dongruan would joyfully bring up the marriage agreement herself, ask why she had raised it at this time, or embrace her with happiness and say she was willing.

But…

Why was Lin Dongruan’s performance like this in reality? Qiang Ning saw no joy or surprise on her face; instead, she was as calm as usual, as if Qiang Ning hadn’t said she wanted to marry her, but had instead mentioned something utterly mundane.

Qiang Ning’s heart full of joy had fallen into a void. Her heart felt empty and simultaneously irritated—Lin Dongruan should not have agreed so placidly.

“Sister, do you not feel any joy?” Qiang Ning questioned. “Or is it… that you are unwilling?”

Since the day the two had argued, everything from their initial intimacy to their recent sharing of a bed had been because of her own initiative. Except, when necessary, Lin Dongruan had not shown even a shred of romantic attraction. Even their intimacy that day was only due to Lin Dongruan’s half-willingness.

If it weren’t for Lin Dongruan’s “half-willingness,” that entire encounter would have been a unilateral plunder on her part; perhaps it wouldn’t even have happened so smoothly.

Past events could not bear close scrutiny. As soon as Qiang Ning thought of them, her heart throbbed with a dense, aching pain.

She suddenly felt that perhaps Lin Dongruan didn’t love her all that much.

Otherwise, why was her reaction so calm when she said she wanted to marry her?

Or… was Lin Dongruan’s half-willingness merely due to a sense of debt in her heart? Or even worse, was all of Lin Dongruan’s compliance simply because of that wretched physical constitution?