She Is Such A Jerk, And Yet She’s The One Crying! - Chapter 39

 “Lin Dongruan, did I give you permission to leave? If you leave, are you planning to never come back?” Qiang Ning slammed the door shut and grabbed her clothes, questioning her. “Clearly, you were the one who left without saying goodbye first. You are the one who betrayed me. Why must I be the one to lower myself and humble myself to coax you? You are merely relying on the fact that I cannot leave you to be so unscrupulously and cold-bloodedly distant.”

Lin Dongruan was pulled to the side. She watched as the corners of Qiang Ning’s eyes gradually turned red; though her tone seemed to grow more aggressive, the tears she shed only increased.

“Your Highness, do not cry. This is but a small matter; it is not worth weeping over.” Lin Dongruan took out a handkerchief to wipe her tears, looking at her grieving appearance with a heavy, serious gaze. “One who plots great matters must not shed tears lightly.”

Qiang Ning cried even harder. “You still call me ‘Your Highness’? Are you intending to sever ties from now on?”

Lin Dongruan changed her address softly: “A-Ning.”

“Lin Dongruan, you just insist on provoking me.” Qiang Ning finally checked her tears, pressing her shoulder against Lin Dongruan to pin her against the door. “You know everything, yet you refuse to give me even a shred of true feeling. Is your entire mind occupied by the new Emperor? Explain yourself properly now; I am listening.”

“A-Ning, now is not the time to speak of serious business. You are not calm enough. It will not be too late to mention this later when you have calmed down a bit.” Lin Dongruan was rational to the extreme, bordering on stern and cold. “The current situation is chaotic; it is not the time to discuss private feelings or throw tantrums.”

Qiang Ning did not want to hear Lin Dongruan speak like this; it made her feel that the other woman was stalling for time while being perfunctory.

Just as Lin Dongruan finished speaking, the remaining tears in Qiang Ning’s eyes vanished, replaced by a gaze that was both contemptuous and wild. “Ah? Now isn’t the time for serious business? Then what is it time for? What do you want to hear me say? Should I say things about ‘daytime debauchery’?”

The four words “daytime debauchery” were explicit enough to be offensive. Hearing this, Lin Dongruan frowned, instinctively opening her mouth to correct Qiang Ning’s behavior: “A-Ning, do not speak such nonsense.”

“You know exactly what I want to obtain.” Behind Lin Dongruan was the door; Qiang Ning pinned her down, not allowing her to dodge. “What exactly is it? Say it—”

Lin Dongruan lowered her gaze, avoiding Qiang Ning’s intensely hungry eyes.

Qiang Ning forced her to look up, staring her down. “Why do you dare not speak! When you utilized me, did you not consider what price you would have to pay?”

Lin Dongruan remained silent for a moment before responding, “Whatever A-Ning wants, as long as I can give it, it is fine.”

“Anything?” Qiang Ning leaned in even closer, as if afraid she would run away. “Even if you are utilizing me, as long as you pay a sufficient price, I can choose not to hold it against you.”

Lin Dongruan’s sandalwood-colored lips parted slightly, but she hesitated to speak.

Qiang Ning loved seeing her in this state of compromising amidst difficulty. Lin Dongruan had a holy appearance, seemingly devoid of desires, and she was always subtle and restrained when intimate matters were mentioned. When offended by words, she was always quick to be indulgent.

Speaking of this, Qiang Ning suddenly remembered previous events and couldn’t help but ask: “Lin Dongruan, were you intentionally seducing me before?”

Back in that dilapidated house, Lin Dongruan would press against her while sharing a bed, would unceremoniously undo her clothes to let her help check a wound, and would take her to the cold spring, exposing her body before her again and again… Looking back now, Lin Dongruan clearly knew her identity back then. How could she not have seen the greed and schemes in her eyes? In that case, how were Lin Dongruan’s actions anything other than intentional seduction?

This time, Lin Dongruan did not speak; she only remained silent.

Qiang Ning felt as if she had been hit by a bolt of thunder, standing there stunned and dazed. “No way? Lin Dongruan, you actually really…”

Lin Dongruan interrupted her: “A-Ning, say no more.”

“Is it true? Tell me.” Qiang Ning gripped her shoulders, confirming over and over again. “Is it? You really did it on purpose?”

“Do not make definitive conclusions about matters that do not exist.” Lin Dongruan brushed her hands away, averting her gaze.

This did not seem like a normal reaction, but since Lin Dongruan had personally denied it, Qiang Ning didn’t know if it was true; she was merely astonished.

“No, I don’t believe it. I want you to prove it.” Qiang Ning pulled Lin Dongruan again, refusing to let go, muttering, “If you don’t have me in your heart and have been utilizing me all along, then don’t think about leaving here in one piece today!”

Utilizing her, and even intentionally seducing her—how could she dare to make a clean getaway?

Qiang Ning hooked her arms under Lin Dongruan’s knees, heedlessly picking her up and rushing toward the red sandalwood Ba-Xian (Eight Immortals) desk. The table was large and stable enough, better than a writing desk. With a sweep of her sleeve, Qiang Ning knocked the ornaments aside and placed Lin Dongruan on the edge of the table.

Lin Dongruan was somewhat shocked, forgetting to struggle for a moment.

When the two of them lived together before, A-Ning didn’t even have the strength to chop wood and often cried out that she was tired. How did she suddenly have the strength to pick her up directly this time?

Could it be that anger had triggered this ability?

Qiang Ning quickly cleared the tabletop, pulling Lin Dongruan’s ankles to face her directly.

Lin Dongruan was puzzled: “A-Ning? What are you…”

“However much you utilized me, you must compensate me accordingly.” Although Qiang Ning hadn’t succeeded yet, she was already excited in advance. She intentionally showed Lin Dongruan a wicked smile, parting the other’s ankles and pulling her closer. “Lin Dongruan, you know, I have been craving you for a long time.”

Lin Dongruan: “…”

In the long silence, Lin Dongruan only managed to utter one evaluation.

“A-Ning, during this period of time… all you have schemed for… is only this?”

Qiang Ning: “…”

Although she didn’t know what Lin Dongruan meant, she felt that these were not good words, as if she were being belittled, yet she had no evidence to prove it.

Qiang Ning didn’t know what to say either.

Lin Dongruan seemed startled by her childishness. After a long time, she gave a slight sigh and spoke in compromise: “If what you scheme for is only this, then… let it be.”

Lin Dongruan was this easy to talk to? Qiang Ning was caught off guard by her words. She had thought it would take a bout of forced entanglement to succeed, but the other woman’s casual “let it be” directly silenced her.

The more Lin Dongruan remained calm and self-possessed, the more it made Qiang Ning seem impatient. Qiang Ning also felt she was perhaps being too childish, like a lustful flower-thief.

Qiang Ning: “…”

Lin Dongruan sat up straighter: “Are you still going to?”

“Yes, why wouldn’t I?” Qiang Ning simply let herself go, speaking haughtily. “You said it yourself; don’t blame me later.”

Lin Dongruan gave a soft “Alright” in response.

Qiang Ning quite naturally went to undo her lower garments. Under Lin Dongruan’s quiet gaze, the more she undid them, the more unsure she felt. “Sister, you really agree to this? Haven’t you always been restraining your problem of heavy desires? Now you are just letting me act willfully so easily?”

“This is the compensation A-Ning wants, and it is a price I can afford. Since I have spoken the words, I must keep my promise.” Lin Dongruan had always been a person of her word.

Qiang Ning undid the lower garments. Her gaze was drawn there, but her whole being was panicked. “Sister, you don’t hate me? I find it hard to believe.”

Seeing her panic, Lin Dongruan raised her hand to swear an oath to soothe her: “I, Lin Dongruan, swear here today that the words spoken today are in good faith. If I have any thoughts of feigned compliance, I shall—”

“Don’t say it, there’s no need to swear.” Qiang Ning hurriedly covered the second half of her sentence. She hadn’t expected that under such circumstances, even when Lin Dongruan had no clothes to cover herself, she could still swear an oath with such a face of integrity.

Is this normal? Would ordinary lovers swear oaths so sternly and uprightly in this situation?

Qiang Ning was startled by Lin Dongruan time and again. For a moment, she was at a loss, merely staring at her in a daze. “Sister, I didn’t get a good look at the cold spring that day. Having the chance to see clearly today, I realize how beautiful it is here.”

Lin Dongruan, however, said it was a bit cold and asked if she wanted to continue with the “daytime debauchery.”

Qiang Ning: “…”

For some reason, this originally lingering and ambiguous atmosphere suddenly became a bit strange, but Qiang Ning couldn’t say what was strange about it. Because she had no experience, she didn’t know how to adjust the atmosphere back.

“O… okay, yes.” Qiang Ning spoke dryly, leaning in with some embarrassment. “Sister, then I’m really coming? I’m not joking.”

Lin Dongruan pressed her hand to her forehead, unsure if it was because of the current predicament or because the study was truly too cold. She followed the motion to pull Qiang Ning into her arms, coaxing her in a low voice: “A-Ning, do not be afraid.