She Comes Into My Dreams Every Night - Chapter 68

Chapter 68: Guilt

Although she had agreed to Lin Jue to sleep with her,

The reality was far too different from what she had imagined.

She had slept with Lin Jue once before, and at that time, Lin Jue had been very considerate, hardly making her feel that there was an extra person beside her. Now, however…

Su Huaiwang lay on her side, closing her eyes and sighing.

“Can’t sleep?” A voice, cool and chilling, sounded from behind her neck, making her instinctively shrink her neck.

Su Huaiwang felt a bit of regret. Sleeping with a ghost—this was probably something only she would do.

What’s more, this ghost was clinging tightly to her, not only wrapping around her waist and tucking her leg between Su Huaiwang’s thighs, but also pressing her face tightly against Su Huaiwang’s back, as if she would run away the moment she let go.

“Almost asleep,” Su Huaiwang replied against her will.

“Really?” A rustling sound of clothes.

“But your heart is beating so fast.” A hand pressed against her back, opening softly, spreading warmly, like an irresistible tide.

“Lin Jue.” Su Huaiwang caught her hand just as her fingers were about to slide towards her waist: “Don’t do this, okay?”

Her voice unknowingly carried a hint of pleading.

Lin Jue was puzzled: “You don’t want to?”

Su Huaiwang pursed her lips: “…No.”

The caught fingertip hooked against the center of Su Huaiwang’s palm, softening its strength: “I’m sorry. I misunderstood.”

Lin Jue pitifully withdrew her hand, then pressed against Su Huaiwang’s back again, unmoving, radiating an aura of dejection.

Su Huaiwang sighed helplessly, turned around, and faced her.

The night was dark. The faint light was only enough for her to see a hint of amber color.

Su Huaiwang paused, unsure where to begin.

“You don’t have to… you don’t have to be so eager to satisfy me.”

“What do you mean?” The amber color widened slightly.

Su Huaiwang’s face flushed, luckily not clearly visible in the dark night:

“I mean, if you want to be happy with me, it doesn’t have to be through sex.”

“We can,” Su Huaiwang coughed lightly: “Do something else, for example, tell me something about yourself.”

Lin Jue listened, half understanding: “Do you mean you don’t want to do that right now?”

“Something like that,” Su Huaiwang added: “I’m also not the type of person who is, uh, always full of bad thoughts.”

As she said this, even she didn’t quite believe it.

In the place Su Huaiwang couldn’t see, Lin Jue’s eyebrows furrowed.

She lowered her eyes, not knowing how to handle the strange impulse that had already risen in her heart.

After a long time, she finally spoke: “Alright.”

Su Huaiwang smiled. She stroked Lin Jue’s face, relieved.

“Then can you kiss me? You haven’t kissed me since we came back.”

Su Huaiwang hesitated for a moment, then leaned over.

Perhaps in Lin Jue’s eyes, a kiss was just a form of coquetry. There was no harm in indulging her.

She just felt a bit guilty. Ever since she found out that Lin Jue was intimate with her only to satisfy her, and not out of sexual impulse, she constantly felt that she was doing her an injustice.

A light, fleeting kiss landed on Lin Jue’s lips. Before she could savor it, the human warmth moved away.

“That’s not right…” Lin Jue bit her lip, instinctively irritated.

Su Huaiwang was startled: “What’s not right?”

“I…” Lin Jue opened her mouth, then remembered Su Huaiwang didn’t want to engage in sex tonight, and wilted: “Nothing.”

Su Huaiwang reached out and hugged her, patting her back, with a hint of compassion: “Did you remember something?”

“No.” Lin Jue first shook her head, then stiffened, and uncertainly nodded again: “Maybe…?”

Su Huaiwang hugged her a little tighter: “Remembered what?”

The girl nestled against her chest, her eyes closing comfortably, unable to recall what she was supposed to be remembering for a moment.

“Ah… I remember…” Does remembering wanting her to hug tighter count?

Su Huaiwang was completely unaware of what was going on in her head, waiting seriously for her to speak.

Lin Jue sighed miserably, finally unable to bring herself to lie and make up an excuse: “I’m sorry… I actually wasn’t thinking of anything at all… I just wanted you to hold me.”

She leaned against the softness, cautiously looking at her: “I was wrong. Can you forgive me?”

Su Huaiwang was taken aback, but didn’t press the issue: “Just say it directly. Why would I blame you?”

“Back then, a year ago, whenever I touched you, your reaction was very intense, so I’ve always been afraid. What if I made you uncomfortable again?”

That’s why she was so nervous every time she wanted to touch Su Huaiwang.

“Wasn’t I asleep at the time? How could I have a reaction?”

“You still would. Subconscious or something. I’m not clear either.”

Su Huaiwang imagined the scene at the time, somewhat incredulous: “So you just enshrined me there like a Sleeping Beauty and did nothing?”

Lin Jue looked at her with innocent eyes: “Do what?”

Su Huaiwang cleared her throat, her gaze darting around in the darkness: “I just said that casually. I didn’t mean anything else.”

Lin Jue snuggled in her embrace, her voice small: “Just being able to watch you makes me happy.”

“Then why were you willing to let me go later?”

“Because you weren’t happy that way. The thought of you being unhappy made my happiness feel stripped away, leaving only pain.”

Her voice was like a soft murmur, light and faint, yet it plunged Su Huaiwang into silence.

She stroked the head of the girl in her arms: “Stop talking about me. Tell me about you. You’re not really twenty years old, are you?”

Su Huaiwang still remembered the age Lin Jue mentioned when they first met.

“It depends on how you define it. ‘Lin Jue’ is indeed forever twenty.”

Meaning, the year Lin Jue died, she was twenty years old.

“If you’re asking about the time since I was born… I don’t quite remember, but it’s at least a few decades.”

“Then shouldn’t I be calling you ‘Jiejie’ (older sister)?” Su Huaiwang teased.

Lin Jue wasn’t annoyed: “Do you care about that? Jiejie.”

Lin Jue occasionally used this title when being playful. Every time Su Huaiwang heard it, her head buzzed.

Being turned back on, she quickly clarified: “No, no.”

“It’s not impossible to call me Jiejie, since the fact is there,” the clear, cold voice was calm: “But the way ghosts and humans calculate age is probably different. Even though I’ve only existed for this amount of time and am no longer a minor ghost, I’m actually not that old among ghosts.”

“But you’re very powerful,” Su Huaiwang thought for a moment and said.

“Did that Celestial Master say that? You could say so.” Lin Jue seemed uninterested in this type of topic. Whenever it reverted to herself, she became unusually aloof: “In their Demon Subjugation Office records, I think I’m something like… Heaven-Grade A. I’m considered among the strongest. Most of the others in my category are centuries-old ghosts.”

Su Huaiwang appropriately expressed surprise: “That powerful?”

“Because I’m a wraith. With creatures like ghosts, the more painful they are, the stronger their power.”

Su Huaiwang closed her mouth, keenly sensing that the conversation was heading somewhere it shouldn’t.

Lin Jue, however, continued nonchalantly: “But rather than being powerful, I’d rather be a little happier…”

Before she could finish, a hand covered her mouth.

Su Huaiwang’s face came closer, full of seriousness: “Enough. Don’t talk about it anymore.”

Lin Jue stared at her with wide eyes until the hand left the lower half of her face.

Su Huaiwang let out a deep breath, intending to find a new topic, but Lin Jue, who had been silent, spoke up:

“Su Huaiwang.”

Her voice carried hesitation and testing.

“What is it?”

Su Huaiwang didn’t pay much attention, just responding as usual.

Lin Jue pursed her lips, bashful: “Can you kiss me again?

I feel like I want it again.”

Without much hesitation, just as Su Huaiwang was about to agree, she heard Lin Jue speak first:

“I don’t want the one like before.”

“Then what kind—”

The woman soon got her answer.

She was pinned beneath the girl, kissed until she was breathless.

The clinging kiss landed on her lips. Lin Jue kissed her, licked her, bit her.

Tongue intertwined with tongue, utterly intimate.

The girl skillfully stroked the roof of her mouth, eliciting waves of itchiness throughout her body.

She couldn’t tell if it was bone or muscle that was aching. Her mouth and nose were entirely invaded by the other’s scent.

Lin Jue lay on top of her, her hard kneecaps pressing into her.

Su Huaiwang groaned softly, honestly reacting.

“Lin Jue, Lin Jue…” In the pauses between kisses, the woman called her name like a plea, her voice urgent and lingering, trembling. She didn’t even have time to wipe away the saliva dripping from the corners of her mouth.

Following her pleas, Lin Jue looked up, reached out to wipe her lips, and smiled shyly: “Is this kind of kiss okay?”

Su Huaiwang weakly wrapped her fingers around Lin Jue’s drooping hand, weakly: “…No.”

Lin Jue’s expression immediately looked thunderstruck, she mumbled: “But… when I was kissing you just now, you didn’t…”

She thought that meant yes.

And she could smell that Su Huaiwang was radiating pleasure and the desire for more.

Humans were too complicated. Their bodies and mouths always contradicted each other. She didn’t know which one to believe.

Her numbed brain finally started working again. Su Huaiwang gasped, glaring at her: “Did I even have the breath to speak just now?”

She was just too overwhelmed.

Even now, her body was contracting with dissatisfaction.

Yet the child on top of her was completely oblivious to this. After the kiss, her leg remained unmoving where it was.

The intense kissing just now made Su Huaiwang feel split in half. The angel said what’s the difference between preying on a small ghost who doesn’t understand love and pedophilia? It’s simply morally corrupt. The devil said, why worry so much? Just enjoy it. Maybe the other person is enjoying it too.

No, it wasn’t Lin Jue’s kiss that caused it. She had already been split into these contradictory halves back on the hillside.

Su Huaiwang never thought she would have to seriously contemplate such a problem, just as a person who hasn’t experienced pleasure cannot understand how painful it is to abstain.

While she was lost in thought, Lin Jue had already comforted herself in the space of two seconds. She leaned down, licking the liquid that had spilled over Su Huaiwang’s lips, and softly apologized:

“I’m sorry. I did something wrong again. I won’t do it next time.”

Su Huaiwang snapped back to reality: “I didn’t say you did anything wrong…” Seriously, this really wasn’t Lin Jue’s fault.

Lin Jue stared at her for a moment, then spoke: “It’s okay. I know. I’ll ask you before I do anything next time.”

Su Huaiwang found it strange, but since she couldn’t find the exact problem, she could only give a dry “Mhm.”

“So…” Lin Jue’s hand had somehow moved downward: “You still don’t want to, right?”

“I don’t want to—”

A light source, from an unknown origin, illuminated a tiny spot of sticky liquid on her fingertip.

Lin Jue rubbed the small spot of liquid and looked thoughtfully at Su Huaiwang, whose face was completely flushed as if she was being choked.

“It got on my knee,” she said, sounding unconcerned.

Luckily it wasn’t daytime. Su Huaiwang was thick-skinned enough to still keep up her pretense at this moment.

“…Oh.”

“What did you just say? You really don’t want to?”

“Really.”