She Comes Into My Dreams Every Night - Chapter 41

Chapter 41: Jealousy

The moonlight was dim.

The Su Huaiwang in the dream was slightly confused as to why her usual visitor was late today.

She lay in the pure white dreamscape, looking up at the fleeting shadows that danced across the sky.

After the nightmares were removed, there weren’t many dreams left. The very few remaining ones floated on the surface of her mind, unable to form a complete narrative, merely brief, transient illusions.

Now, the visitor was the only dream she had.

She yearned for her to come, and yet she didn’t so much.

Perhaps during her absence, she could learn to dream again.

Her thoughts, like wild horses, drifted and wandered in the dreamscape.

A pair of hands suddenly covered her chin from above. With a slight force, they made her look up.

Su Huaiwang saw the dream visitor’s face, still tranquil and beautiful. Her lowered lashes cast a shadow on her pale face, making her look chillingly eerie, yet incredibly alluring.

Su Huaiwang also reached out, moving up along the sides of the girl’s cheeks to cup her head.

The visitor knew what she wanted. She was always like this.

She exerted a bit of force, but the visitor didn’t move. She was stuck in place like glue, her amber eyes like inorganic glass beads, simply gazing at her.

Su Huaiwang climbed up from the soft ground, and those eyes followed her movement.

Without a moment’s hesitation, she leaned in and kissed the corner of her lips like a spoiled child.

But the other person still didn’t move. Above them, the surface dream scattered like bubbles, forming a question mark.

Su Huaiwang suspiciously patted her face.

She didn’t pat hard and didn’t expect a real answer.

For some reason, the other person rarely spoke.

She didn’t mind, reaching out to embrace her.

Just when she thought the night would pass this way, the other person suddenly spoke:

“Su Huaiwang.”

“?”

In an instant, her previously chaotic and drowsy mind seemed to snap awake. Su Huaiwang’s eyes widened, and she abruptly pushed the girl out of her embrace.

After pushing her away, she looked at her own hands, bewildered by what she had done.

Lin Jue, however, was not surprised by her reaction.

She straightened her body, which had been tilted from the push, and her gaze settled on Su Huaiwang:

“What is the relationship between you and me?”

Dazed and confused, Su Huaiwang, bathed in the amber glow, replied:

“Friends.”

“Anything else?”

“I have sexual impulses towards you.”

Without hesitation, her words were blunt. This was something the real Su Huaiwang would never say.

Dreams have many uses; weaving beautiful dreams and nightmares are just the most basic methods.

More profoundly, a dream is a condensed form of a person’s psyche, the genuine truth stripped of linguistic embellishments.

Su Huaiwang’s dream was never guarded against her. If Lin Jue wished, she could learn everything she wanted in this dream.

But she couldn’t, or at least, until today, she had never dared to.

Because a year ago, it was in this very dream that she received the answer that caused her unbearable pain.

The Su Huaiwang in the dream refused her request to be by her side and wanted to escape her safe little world.

Those celestial masters couldn’t truly kill her. The things that could truly kill her were always what she had gained and then lost.

Just as Su Huaiwang had her nightmares, Lin Jue also had her violent dreams. Before meeting Su Huaiwang, she was tormented by her hate-filled, violent dreams day and night.

Until Su Huaiwang pulled her out of those dreams and taught her what love was.

But that celestial master said what she learned was not love, but lust/desire.

What she had for Su Huaiwang was desire. The desire to treasure something precious, to keep a pure white bird or beast in captivity. If that were all, it wouldn’t be so hateful, but she wanted it all: she wanted Su Huaiwang’s vibrant existence, and she wanted Su Huaiwang’s love.

She wrapped herself in lies, thinking she could make Su Huaiwang love her in the dream, but the truth proved that she had no chance of success.

Like getting an unpleasant answer from the magic mirror in a fairy tale, she went mad and destroyed half of her territory.

The process need not be detailed. She eventually let Su Huaiwang go, allowing those celestial masters to take her away.

When she stared at their retreating figures in the dense forest with her scarlet eyes, two thoughts tore at her mind.

One was that she must get Su Huaiwang back, and the other was that she must learn to love and use love to win Su Huaiwang’s love.

She thought she had succeeded.

They said love was dedication, responsibility, action, words spoken aloud, and the accumulation of daily companionship.

She felt she had achieved this, and she felt Su Huaiwang loved her.

But only after Tu Zhizhuo appeared did she realize how little love she truly held in her palm.

She had seen Tu Zhizhuo’s fate—great wealth and status, with good luck leading the way. Such a person was unlikely to die young.

Tu Zhizhuo had been with Su Huaiwang for more than ten years longer than she had. She could never reclaim that time.

She wished the dream Tu Zhizhuo had made was true, that she had known Su Huaiwang from childhood and been with her.

No, it should be even earlier than that. Ideally, she should have been lurking in the shadows of the house, watching Su Huaiwang from the moment she was born into this world.

That way, Tu Zhizhuo would have no way to compete with her because she would be the one whose love had spanned Su Huaiwang’s entire life.

And naturally, Su Huaiwang should return her love with her entire life’s devotion.

That way, she would have the best, most, most special, and most unquestionable love.

But there were no “if onlys” in the world.

She was jealous to the point of madness.

“Do you love me?”

She asked the question again, just as she had a year ago when she first learned the word.

She remembered Su Huaiwang’s answer back then was absolute, without a trace of hesitation.

She didn’t dare hope the answer would change this time, but at least, she hoped Su Huaiwang would be less heartless.

The Su Huaiwang before her eyes widened slightly, as if she had heard an incomprehensible question.

Lin Jue breathed a sigh of relief but quickly tensed up again.

“…Then let me ask a different question. Do you love Tu Zhizhuo?”

This time, Su Huaiwang didn’t hesitate, answering directly, “Yes, I do. As a friend, I love her very much.”

Lin Jue felt as if she had fallen into an ice cellar. “Then what about me? You said I am also your friend.”

She moved closer to Su Huaiwang, appearing on the verge of tears.

Su Huaiwang immediately panicked and clumsily kissed the corner of her lips to comfort her.

Lin Jue pushed her back slightly, frowning softly, and asked very seriously again, “Do you love me?”

The person in the dream could not lie. No matter how much she pitied her, she would not lie.

As expected, Su Huaiwang still did not answer directly.

“I don’t know,” she sighed. “It’s difficult to answer.”

“But don’t be sad.” She looked at Lin Jue cautiously. “If you’re sad, I’ll be sad too.”

Lin Jue’s mood improved slightly. “Why is it difficult to answer?”

Su Huaiwang furrowed her brows. “Why is it difficult to answer? …Why? I don’t know? I can’t figure it out.”

It seemed this was a very complex question for Su Huaiwang’s dream.

Although she didn’t get an affirmative answer and felt insecure, Lin Jue was also inexplicably delighted.

Does this mean she holds a special place in Su Huaiwang’s heart?

Even whether she loved her required deep contemplation.

With this subtle thought, Lin Jue asked again, “Then do you love Little Grey, Little Yellow, and Mimi?”

Relieved to be free from the difficult question, Su Huaiwang smiled. “Yes, I do. Very, very much love.”

“Then what about me?”

Su Huaiwang sank into distressed contemplation again.

Lin Jue watched her quietly, still waiting for the answer.

After a long time, Su Huaiwang finally looked up, meeting her gaze. Her eyes were less naive. “To answer this question, I must first determine what the definition of love is and what love truly means to me.”

Lin Jue frowned.

She sighed eventually, cupping her face. “If you can’t figure it out, then don’t worry about it.”

If she thought any longer, Su Huaiwang would wake up. Not only would she wake up, but she would also notice the anomaly in everything.

Considering how much she had talked to her today, Su Huaiwang would likely be suspicious when she woke up tomorrow morning.

Thinking of this, Lin Jue sighed again.

Su Huaiwang, who had been silent, raised a hand and smoothed her forehead. “Why are you sighing?”

The dream was raising more and more questions. Lin Jue wanted to talk to her more, but she was afraid that after two more sentences, Su Huaiwang would ask a question like, “Am I dreaming?”

Once Su Huaiwang fully awakened in the dream, her monstrosity would be fully exposed.

She couldn’t let that happen.

So she stood on her toes and kissed Su Huaiwang.

The Su Huaiwang in the dream was always extraordinarily honest. She wouldn’t push her away, nor did she need Lin Jue to lead up to it so much.

She opened her mouth obediently, responding and lingering with her.

The cold lips absorbed the human warmth. Lin Jue belatedly realized that the rhythm of desire had not emanated from the depths of the dream today.

In other words, today’s Su Huaiwang had fallen asleep peacefully, without any unfulfilled sexual urges.

So, her current actions could no longer be excused by the pretense of satisfying Su Huaiwang’s desire.

Already accustomed to the kissing, even during the gasps for air in the midst of their entangled tongues, Su Huaiwang exuded an inexpressible coyness.

She clutched the girl’s clothes tightly. A hand had somehow found its way to the back of her head, pressing her deeper into the kiss.

Su Huaiwang didn’t dislike this feeling.

When they finally separated, Su Huaiwang buried her head in Lin Jue’s neck, her legs subconsciously parting slightly.

“Mmm… I really like… this…”

The woman squinted, pleasured by the gentle service.

Her words were intermittent, the flush of heat on her breath mixing with the girl’s unique scent, making her mind hazy.

She shrank.

She trembled.

She was slick beneath that beautiful hand.

She could barely stand.

The girl supported her, utterly silent.

She murmured into the girl’s ear, saying how comfortable this felt and how much she liked that.

The girl, however, never responded, only looking at her, her amber eyes heavy, lost in thought.

Once.

Twice.

Thrice.

Su Huaiwang instinctively sensed something was wrong.

She couldn’t stand any longer, but the other person still forced her to stand, even taking away her only point of support.

She leaned against the white wall that had appeared sometime, and she was spread open a little wider.

Her flushed fingers randomly clutched and pulled, trying to alleviate the overwhelming surge that shouldn’t have been present tonight.

At her most chaotic, she could only repeatedly call out the name of the person beneath her: “Lin Jue, Lin Jue, I, I…”

The person paused her actions, staring at her, and asked a question she hadn’t anticipated: “Would you do these things with Tu Zhizhuo?”

Su Huaiwang was shocked. “Definitely not!”

She saw the corner of Lin Jue’s lips, still moist, curve into a brilliant smile.

She didn’t speak, just lowered her head again, tireless.

That celestial master was right about one thing.

She was indeed very adept at discovering her own desires.

And she was now.