She Became Distressed After I Stopped Being Restrained and Started Interacting with Others - Chapter 24

With my face still buried in Yuna’s chest, I gently close my eyes.

The faint remnants of last night’s scent and warmth from her skin envelop me softly.

—I’m happy.

Happy that I can be this close to Yuna, that after keeping our distance, we can be near each other again.

The way she wraps her arms around me as if she needs me is unbearably precious.

Yet, deep in my chest, something was stirring.

Last night, Yuna was gentle.

She touched me a lot, and she kissed me too.

But there was a certain composure about her.

The Yuna I knew before was different.

When we did these things at night, she used to demand me fiercely, as if she wanted me all to herself.

Over and over, as if carving into me that I belonged to her.

I should have felt a little suffocated by that restraint.

—Why is it?

Now, I miss that forceful way of loving.

I cling to Yuna’s arms, holding her tight.

As if to hide the anxiety sprouting deep in my chest.

“…Yuna.”

When I call her name in a hoarse voice, Yuna gently strokes my hair.

The warmth of her hand makes me happy, but at the same time, a little scared.

What if this gentleness is only to reassure me?

What if she no longer wants me desperately…?

“Hmm…?”

Yuna replies in a calm voice.

A gentle, softly enveloping voice.

Even though it’s the same soft voice she always uses just for me, my heart is filled with anxiety.

—Hey, Yuna. Do you still love me the same way?

That question, which almost made it to my throat, just wouldn’t become words.

I’m afraid to ask.

If I ask and the answer is something terrifying, what would I do?

Instead, I gently press my lips against Yuna’s neck.

The place I touched over and over last night.

Where my mark remains clearly.

Chu…

When I gently suck, Yuna squirms as if tickled.

But that’s all.

Before, if I touched her even a little strongly, Yuna would immediately respond and demand me back. But today is different.

—It’s not enough. It’s not enough, Yuna…

Hold me tighter.

Tell me you won’t let me go.

If you don’t claim me as yours, I can’t stand this anxiety…

I press my lips to her shoulder once more.

Over and over.

Just like last night.

But Yuna only smiles gently and strokes my hair.

No. No, Yuna.

Want me more.

Don’t let me go.

“…Honoka?”

Yuna calls my name, sounding a little puzzled.

I just cling to her tightly, not wanting to let go, and only nod.

My chest feels tight.

Like this, I want to touch Yuna more and more.

I want to stay connected.

I don’t want to be apart.

“…Yuna, I want to stay like this forever…”

When I whisper in a hoarse voice, Yuna gently pulls me closer.

The warmth of her arms makes me happy, but also just a little scared.

—Hey, Yuna. Why are you so composed even when I’m asking for you like this?

Why am I the only one so desperate?

Still, I bury my face in her chest.

I don’t want her to know about this anxiety.

I don’t want to be disliked.

As I rub my face against her neck, I suddenly realize.

—Ah, this is the feeling Yuna has been carrying all along.

Every time I wanted freedom, she felt anxious, lonely.

She wanted to keep me bound, to demand me fiercely.

Yuna has been feeling like this all along.

Thinking that, my chest tightens painfully.

I’m sorry, Yuna.

I didn’t really understand you.

Every time I sought freedom, I might have been making you suffer like this.

Holding Yuna’s arms tightly, I gently close my eyes.

I won’t let you feel anxious ever again.

So, bind me tighter… make me yours alone, Yuna.