Shadowed Love: A Lover Who Refuses to Let Go - Chapter 42.1

The scene at the Muse Bar was starkly different from her last visit. The celebratory flower baskets and red carpets from the grand opening had been removed, leaving only the bright neon signs flashing, making them exceptionally prominent against the dim sky.

As Yin Yunzhu stepped out of the car, she looked toward the hotel across the street. That was where everything had started—the place where, after their first meeting, they had let things get out of hand in a drunken blur.

“What are you dazing off for? Let’s go!” Bai Jiali hopped out of the driver’s seat, dangling her car keys in front of Yin Yunzhu’s face.

The jingling sound pulled Yin Yunzhu back to reality. She regained her composure and said flatly, “Let’s go.”

Since it was all in the past, there was no point in scrutinizing it; the scene would never be the same anyway. Bars are inherently built on the nighttime’s vanity and decadence—she would treat it as nothing more than a fleeting, beautiful dream.

Yin Yunzhu didn’t know how long Jiang Menghe’s influence would last. Perhaps a month. She wasn’t a cold or heartless woman; in the worst-case scenario, this pain etched into her heart would accompany her for the rest of her life.

They had hovered and tested each other on the edge of boundaries, and after tasting that reckless madness, any ordinary, steady relationship would likely feel bland.

And yet, all she had ever wanted before was to live a stable, peaceful life with her family and friends.

At the entrance, Yin Yunzhu pulled out her ID as usual while Bai Jiali explained to the waiter, “She’s an adult, she just looks young. Look at the birth date here…”

Whenever she went to places where minors were prohibited, Yin Yunzhu’s rounded, youthful face was always met with suspicion.

Once inside, Bai Jiali nudged Yin Yunzhu with her elbow, winking. “That guy at the door was pretty handsome, huh?”

She was the type to develop a crush at any time or place; one could imagine her even discussing which cellmate was more handsome if she ever ended up in prison. Seeing Yin Yunzhu looking listless, she leaned in tentatively. “Want me to go get his WeChat for you?”

“No need,” Yin Yunzhu interrupted, her voice flat and devoid of emotion.

Compared to heartbroken sobbing or making a scene, this version of her was more worrying. It was as if her soul had been scooped out, leaving her without her usual vibrant energy.

Rejected, Bai Jiali rubbed her temples and nodded repeatedly. “True. After dating someone like her, an ordinary guy naturally wouldn’t catch your eye.”

In Bai Jiali’s mouth, Jiang Menghe’s status had officially dropped from “Goddess” to “that person.” Between her best friend being deceived and the recent buzz about Jiang acting to pay off debts, Bai Jiali had fully believed the narrative.

Even a national film star was no exception to having a public persona that differed from reality.

“Hold on, I’ll find you a high-quality, handsome man from my contact list right now.” With that, she pulled out her phone and began scrolling through her contacts.

Bai Jiali was lively and radiated warmth and confidence toward everyone; her broad social net had caught many friends. Before she could even click into a profile to check their “quality,” Yin Yunzhu took her phone away.

“It’s okay. I don’t want to date,” Yin Yunzhu said helplessly.

Besides, the “handsome” men Bai Jiali referred to were usually well-built, muscular types with developed biceps—that was her personal preference. Yin Yunzhu, however, couldn’t quite grasp male hormones. Whether a man was handsome or ugly, she mostly relied on external evaluations to tell the difference. Objectively, she could analyze facial proportions, but even then, they all looked as similar as Europeans did to her.

This time, they sat at a booth. Yin Yunzhu couldn’t handle alcohol, so Bai Jiali specifically ordered a low-alcohol fruit drink for her.

On the circular bar counter, inverted transparent goblets were arranged by height. Looking at the liquor shelf behind, most were popular choices for young people.

The wait was boring. Yin Yunzhu watched the bartender’s cool, steady movements and suddenly regretted coming with Bai Jiali. Everything felt meaningless and dull. She didn’t know why she had believed the “drowning sorrows in wine” excuse; it only proved she hadn’t moved on.

When there’s nothing to do, one tends to overthink. Only when the glass, frosted with ice, was pushed in front of her did she briefly forget her cluttered thoughts.

The sea-salt blue liquid was filled with bubbles, reminiscent of coral reefs growing on the ocean floor. Yin Yunzhu took small sips, listening to Bai Jiali chatting happily with the bartender.

The cold liquid slid down her throat, accompanied by a stinging, burning sensation. She winced, and by the time one glass was finished, she already felt lightheaded.

As she leaned on the bar to rest, Bai Jiali noticed her state and lightly tapped her cheek. “Drunk after just a few sips? I’ll take you to the restroom.”

Recalling the lesson from last time, Bai Jiali refused to leave her alone for a second. As she helped her toward the restroom, they bumped into someone. Yin Yunzhu staggered; she wasn’t truly drunk, just groggy and wanting to sleep. Just as she was about to tumble onto a nearby sofa, the person stabilized her.

“Thanks,” Bai Jiali said to the woman.

A familiar silhouette flickered before her. In the dim light, it was easy to hallucinate. Yin Yunzhu squinted her eyes and grabbed the person’s hem as they made a move to leave.

“Jiang…” she murmured. The person clearly froze and turned around.

By the faint light, the woman revealed half her face. Her sharp, chiseled profile and heroic brow suggested a more androgynous style. From the back, her build did indeed bear a slight resemblance to Jiang Menghe.

“Miss, do you need help?” The woman paused, and the moment she spoke, Yin Yunzhu’s lingering fantasy was shattered into pieces.

It wasn’t her.

“Sorry, sorry, my friend is drunk and mistook you for someone else,” Bai Jiali apologized hurriedly, gently slapping Yin’s hand away from the woman’s coat.

The woman smiled, showing understanding. “It’s fine. It’s lucky she has you to look after her; it’s dangerous for a person to be drunk outside alone.” She pointed to an empty seat in the corner. “I’m sitting over there. If you need anything, come find me.”

“Thanks a lot,” Bai Jiali nodded repeatedly, half-dragging Yin toward the restroom.

The restroom’s overhead lights were piercing. Mirrors covered three walls at the front, making the space feel vast and bright. Aside from a faint, pleasant fragrance, there was the smell of evaporated suppressants.

Bai Jiali warned Yin Yunzhu to be careful of the steps, turned on the faucet to dampen a paper towel, and handed it over. Yin Yunzhu’s tolerance was poor; even common alcoholic drinks could get her tipsy. She took the wet tissue and carefully wiped her brow and eyes. Her eyes, which had been swollen from a night of crying, had subsided, revealing her usual gentle features.

“You only had a little bit. Is it enough to mistake someone else for her?” Bai Jiali sighed. She had heard the surname Yin Yunzhu murmured quite clearly.

Yin Yunzhu propped herself up, mumbling groggily. It was a piteous sight, like someone who had been severely lectured and was now crying in silence. Seeing her like this, Bai Jiali’s pent-up frustration had nowhere to go, so she tapped Yin’s forehead reprovingly.

“Yin Yunzhu, show some spine! It’s just a breakup. Does it have to feel like the sky is falling? Are you going to stop living for the next few decades?”

“What’s the point of being this withered and miserable, other than giving that Jiang woman something to be smug about if she found out?” Bai Jiali was fuming. “Me, Auntie Shan, and Xiao Xuan—none of us want to see you like this. You’ve been crying for three days and three nights. Have you cared about whether we’re alive or dead?”

“I don’t expect you to move on immediately, but…” She realized Yin Yunzhu wasn’t actually drunk; she was just using it as an excuse to detox her emotions. Unable to bring herself to truly scold her, Bai Jiali brushed back her hair and sighed. “If I’d known, I wouldn’t have brought you to a bar. This is just pure suffering.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t say ‘I’m sorry’! You look so pathetic.”

Yin Yunzhu fell silent and looked at herself in the mirror. Her cheeks were flushed from the alcohol, and her face looked like it had collapsed under the weight of a night’s sorrow, her eyes devoid of their usual spark. She looked like a withered, dried flower.

Suppressing the heat and moisture in her eyes, she rubbed them back and forth. “Then I won’t say it.”

After Bai Jiali snapped at her, silence fell over the sinks. She stood with her arms crossed, watching Yin Yunzhu. Only when she saw the girl’s emotions had adjusted did she speak.

“You don’t look like you’re going to have a good time. Let’s go home.”

She pulled a tissue from her bag and handed it over. After tidying up, the two quickly left the Muse Bar.

Neon lights flashed in the night, their rotating signs reflected on the ground. Yin Yunzhu stepped on them, her shadow obscured like a crescent moon with a piece missing.

Even though the alcohol content wasn’t high, the night breeze made her feel even more lightheaded in her tipsy state. A slight burning sensation in her stomach was accompanied by a feeling of fullness. She crouched by a streetlight while Bai Jiali called for a designated driver.

“Feeling better?” After explaining the location to the driver, Bai Jiali leaned over and lightly patted her back.

“It’s alright,” Yin Yunzhu replied, her hand to her forehead.

“I recorded you being a ‘drunk mess.’ When you finally move on, I’ll let you enjoy the show,” Bai Jiali teased. She imitated Yin’s posture, crouching beside her and resting her chin on her hands lazily.

Years of attending drinking sessions with company leaders meant the low-proof drinks in the bar felt like sparkling water to her. She was currently alert, feeling nothing more than a bit of late-night drowsiness.

Insects buzzed under the light. Yin Yunzhu looked at the flickering streetlamp and whispered, “I wasn’t like this just for the breakup.”

It wasn’t exactly being a “drunk mess”; it was just being moved by the memories of the place. The gloom accumulated over several days—the family breakdown and the disappointment in love—was tangled like a ball of yarn with no end in sight.

She sometimes thought that the major changes in life always arrived unexpectedly. Her greatest wish to live a stable life had now become a luxury.

Bai Jiali didn’t believe her and chuckled, clutching her stomach. “You’re so young, you have money and time, and you’re beautiful. Even if your family doesn’t support your job, they’ve at least learned to look the other way. Why do you have to insist on suffering for love?”

“Family…” Yin Yunzhu said thoughtfully, looking at Bai Jiali’s bright eyes. “I haven’t told you yet. Madam Shan and my dad got a divorce.”

Bai Jiali had intended to boost her friend’s confidence with light praise, but she hadn’t expected to bring up another sorrowful topic. She was stunned for a moment before a look of realization crossed her face. “Then Xiao Xuan…”

The result was within expectations; Shan Songyue wasn’t the type to compromise and stay in a miserable marriage for the sake of a child. Plus, she had heard about the arguments that had broken out earlier.

“Xiao Xuan is fine. She was back to her lively self after waking up.”

“That’s good,” Bai Jiali said with relief. “Then what are you so sentimental about?”

“Thinking about how so many things are beyond our control.”

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