Self-Perception - Chapter 64

Gu Wansheng finished cooking the dishes.

“Did your aunt not give you any help?” Wen Jinyan watched as she took off her apron. He proactively reached out to take it and put it back in its original place, asking the question.

After all, Gu Wansheng’s aunt was currently one of the giants in the entertainment industry. Even a few years ago, it would have been easy for her to get Gu Wansheng access to good resources.

Hearing this, Gu Wansheng gestured for her to sit down and eat. “Eat first. I’ll tell you after we’re finished.”

After the two finished eating and cleared the dishes, they sat on the sofa. Wen Jinyan sat in Gu Wansheng’s arms, held in her embrace.

Gu Wansheng pressed her chin tightly against the hollow of the woman’s neck, drawing warmth from her. Her voice spoke slowly: “My parents actually didn’t support me entering the entertainment circle. Because of this, their attitude toward my aunt worsened significantly, they believed she was the one who influenced me. After all, I was very close to her as a child. But I’m naturally defiant. I insisted on breaking in. When they found out, they were furious and cut off all my financial resources. They explicitly told my aunt not to give me any help, wanting me to retreat and return to the company. At that time, my aunt’s own career wasn’t going very smoothly.”

Wen Jinyan’s heart felt a dull ache as she listened. These details weren’t in Gu Wansheng’s resume, nor had they been reported on social media platforms. These were Gu Wansheng’s deepest secrets and pains, yet she spoke of them now with such a calm, breezy tone.

Wen Jinyan turned her head to nuzzle Gu Wansheng’s cheek. Perhaps sensing the heartache and apology expressed in that gesture, Gu Wansheng said candidly, “It’s very good now. Without the tempering of those years, how could I have the sweetness that comes after the bitterness today?”

That “sweetness after bitterness” was a road she had spent a long time walking.

Wen Jinyan felt even more distressed. She kissed Gu Wansheng’s forehead, her eyes shimmering with moisture. She said, “Gu Wansheng, I will be very, very good to you.”

A warm current flowed through Gu Wansheng’s heart. She replied, “Yanyan, I had to weather the storms and fall down before I could stand up and keep moving forward. These were things I had to experience. I wasn’t afraid. You are already very good to me now.”

Wen Jinyan protested silently: Not good enough. Not nearly good enough. She had even used Gu Wansheng.

The two sat in tender intimacy for a long while before getting up to shower.

As usual, Gu Wansheng dried her hair, turned on the air conditioner, and hugged Wen Jinyan from behind. Perhaps because Wen Jinyan was very warm after the shower, Gu Wansheng held her like that, and the two slowly fell into a deep sleep.

Wen Jinyan woke up once in the middle of the night, but the body heat pressed against her back gave her an immense sense of belonging.

Should she tell Gu Wansheng? Should she tell her own story? But what would telling her bring? Heartache or comfort?

Wen Jinyan temporarily suppressed the thought. She still had important matters to attend to, she couldn’t involve Gu Wansheng.

“Yanyan…” Wen Jinyan heard a voice and thought Gu Wansheng had woken up, so she immediately stayed still. After waiting and hearing nothing more, she whispered tentatively, “Gu Wansheng?”

Realizing the other woman was talking in her sleep, Wen Jinyan didn’t mind. She simply snuggled deeper into the embrace and soon drifted back into dreamland.

When she woke up the next morning, the space beside her had long since lost its warmth. Wen Jinyan thought she had overslept and hurried out of bed, after all, she had promised Gu Wansheng she would go to the roadshow.

Just as she rushed downstairs, she happened to lock eyes with Gu Wansheng, who was coming out of the kitchen. Seeing the lingering traces of anxiety on her face, Gu Wansheng understood with a bit of thought. “You’re up. It’s still early, come over and have breakfast.”

A lover’s morning greeting, a steaming breakfast.

The most ordinary, frequently enacted scene, yet even though Wen Jinyan experienced it often, she was still moved every time.

Just as they finished breakfast, the doorbell rang. Wen Jinyan went to open the door, it was Meng Qiu.

“Sister Jinyan, it’s time to get ready to go,” Meng Qiu stood at the door. Gu Wansheng, who was still drying her hands with a wet wipe, heard her.

“You could have just called, why make the trip?” Gu Wansheng wiped her hands meticulously, even paying close attention to the base of her fingers.

“Go down first, we’ll be down in a moment.” Meng Qiu nodded and was about to leave when Gu Wansheng stopped her. “Have you eaten?”

Meng Qiu shook her head. She had left in a hurry today for fear of being late and hadn’t eaten, thinking she would just grab something to tide her over after picking up Sister Gu.

Gu Wansheng turned back to the kitchen, grabbed a carton of milk and a bag of bread, and handed them to Meng Qiu. “Take these, this is all there is.”

Meng Qiu didn’t stand on ceremony and accepted them with a smile. “Thanks, Sister Gu.”

After Gu Wansheng and Wen Jinyan packed up, they went downstairs and got into the car. The two chatted casually while Meng Qiu sat in the passenger seat, eating her bread and unintentionally listening to their conversation.

When they arrived at the movie venue, the film hadn’t started yet. Gu Wansheng and Wen Jinyan went backstage. Bai Jin beckoned Gu Wansheng over to touch up her makeup. Wen Jinyan followed. The makeup area wasn’t large, and the staff members, knowing who Wen Jinyan was, took good care of her.

“Thank you.” Wen Jinyan accepted a bottle of water. Meng Qiu stood beside her, holding Gu Wansheng’s coat.

Seeing this, Wen Jinyan spoke up: “I’ll take it.”

Meng Qiu was puzzled but complied and handed it over.

Wen Jinyan draped the coat over her arm and looked over. She wasn’t far from Gu Wansheng. Through the makeup mirror, she could see Gu Wansheng, and Gu Wansheng’s gaze met hers through the glass.

Gu Wansheng raised her eyes slightly, asking: What is it?

“Teacher Gu, please don’t move,” the makeup artist reminded her warmly.

Immediately, Gu Wansheng’s lips curved into a smile, and she nodded obediently. “My mistake.”

Staff members passing by whispered to each other, “Teacher Gu is so easygoing, she has no ego at all.”

“Teacher Gu is famous in the industry for her good temper, beautiful and kind-hearted. Not only is she beautiful, but she’s also talented. Meeting an actor like her makes things so much easier for us, it cuts out so much unnecessary trouble.”

Wen Jinyan overheard this, and her gaze followed their conversation to rest on Gu Wansheng, her thoughts unknown.

“Sister Jinyan, have a seat.” Meng Qiu had appeared from somewhere with a chair and more water.

“Thank you.” Wen Jinyan sat down. Gu Wansheng’s makeup and styling were quickly completed. After staying for a while, Meng Qiu led her into the cinema, handed her a mask, popcorn, and a drink, and finished relaying all of Gu Wansheng’s caring instructions before making her exit.

Wen Jinyan sat in the middle of the fourth row, a good viewing position. Audiences trickled in, and since the theater was quite dark, many people started using their phone flashlights to find their seats.

“Excuse me, beautiful, could you pull your legs in a bit?” A soft voice came from above her head.

Wen Jinyan had actually tried her best to tuck her legs in, if she didn’t, her knees would hit the back of the seat in front. Hearing this, she tried to keep her legs closed and slanted. The girl’s phone light shone down, and seeing the situation, the girl understood it wasn’t easy for her. She squeezed past and said “thank you.”

“It’s fine.”

The girl clearly paused for half a second after hearing her voice. She checked her seat with the flashlight, and Wen Jinyan noticed the light beside her gradually go out as someone sat down in the empty seat next to her.

It was that girl.

Wen Jinyan took out her phone. The strong light hit her eyes, so she quickly covered the top half with her hand while the other hand dimmed the brightness.

“Hello, miss.”

Wen Jinyan heard the voice coming from her direction and turned her head slightly, letting out a questioning sound.

“Are you here to watch the movie, or are you here to see Wansheng?” In the darkness, Wen Jinyan sensed the girl leaning quite close, so she moved her body back imperceptibly.

Wansheng?

Wen Jinyan replied, “Half and half, I suppose. Are you a fan of Gu Wansheng?”

Unexpectedly, the girl gave the same answer. “I’m half and half, too. I wouldn’t call myself a ‘fan’ exactly, I just follow wherever there are beautiful faces. Plus, I like movies.”

Wen Jinyan nodded to show she understood and went back to her phone.

“Are you a voice actress? Hearing your voice just now, I thought it was very atmospheric, that kind of clear, clean feeling. I’m a bit of a voice-junkie myself.”

“Thank you, but I’m not.”

Sensing that Wen Jinyan wasn’t very interested, the girl stopped talking.

After waiting for about ten minutes, the lights in the theater dimmed. Wen Jinyan squinted behind her glasses, only opening them fully once they had adjusted.

When the girl saw Wen Jinyan’s face, her breathing became heavy. Her eyes kept darting toward Wen Jinyan. Heavens, she’s way too good-looking.

Ten minutes into the movie, Wen Jinyan softly reminded the girl next to her, “Didn’t you come to watch the movie?”

The girl coughed guiltily, muttering in her heart, Who told you to be so beautiful?

Seeing Wen Jinyan watching the film so intently, the girl swallowed the words she wanted to say and endured until the end of the movie.

This was a roadshow. After the movie ended, the lead actors and the director walked onto the stage from behind the curtain, taking microphones to introduce themselves in turn. Next was the Q&A session with entertainment media and various activities.

The girl leaned in again. “Sorry to bother you, but I wanted to ask what you use to keep your skin in such good condition?”

Adhering to the principle of politeness, Wen Jinyan turned her head. “It’s natural.”

Their eyes met, and the girl froze for a moment. Hit by the impact of Wen Jinyan’s appearance, the girl’s mind was entirely focused on her face, she didn’t hear the answer at all.

“Are you mixed? Your eyes are so beautiful.” After saying this, the girl paused and quickly apologized.

Wen Jinyan didn’t answer, turning her gaze back to Gu Wansheng.

“I’ll just pick someone at random then.” Gu Wansheng smiled, her eyes scanning the audience. Her gaze clearly paused when it landed on Wen Jinyan.

“Then let’s have the friend in the fifth seat of the sixth row share her thoughts, thank you.”

A moment later, Wen Jinyan realized all eyes were on her row.

“Sixth row, fifth seat… isn’t that me!?” The girl next to Wen Jinyan stood up and took the microphone.

Wen Jinyan didn’t really listen to the girl’s speech. Her eyes were on Gu Wansheng, and she realized Gu Wansheng was clearly looking at her. Because her position was so close to the girl’s, she knew Gu Wansheng was looking in her direction.

Is she being this bold?

She saw the corners of Gu Wansheng’s eyes curve, just for a fleeting second.

After the girl finished her answer and sat down, and as the event neared its end, the girl finally plucked up the courage to take out her phone. She asked somewhat shyly, “Can I add your contact info?”

Wen Jinyan declined softly, “I’m sorry, I’m already married.”

The girl was surprised for a moment, then turned around to offer her blessings.

After everyone had left, Wen Jinyan went backstage, but she didn’t see Gu Wansheng.