Self-Perception - Chapter 62

Wen Jinyan sat on the bed in a kneeling position, wearing only a black bra. The straps had slipped down to her elbows, hanging loosely and half-draped over her body, revealing her snowy silhouette clearly. Her waist and neck still bore the marks left from the previous night. Strands of hair slid from her shoulders across her chest.

Like a lute player partially hiding her face.

Seeing her enter, Wen Jinyan tilted her head.

Gu Wansheng called out tentatively, “Yanyan?”

Wen Jinyan remained motionless in her position.

As Gu Wansheng drew closer, Wen Jinyan’s eyes remained fixed on her. Gu Wansheng propped her hands beside her, her entire reflection shrinking into those amber eyes.

“Yanyan,” Gu Wansheng called again.

“Gu Wansheng,” Wen Jinyan whispered softly.

Gu Wansheng pulled the quilt up to wrap around her and helped her lie down.

“Aren’t you cold?”

Wen Jinyan blinked but didn’t speak.

“Do you want some water?” Gu Wansheng asked when she remained silent.

This didn’t feel like she was sober at all, could she still be drunk? If she was, she was incredibly well-behaved in this state.

Wen Jinyan still said nothing.

Gu Wansheng sighed inwardly.

Alright, she’s definitely drunk.

Regardless of whether Wen Jinyan could actually process her words, she instructed, “Don’t move. Stay tucked in bed. I’m going to get you some water.”

Gu Wansheng moved quickly. When she returned to the room, Wen Jinyan was still sitting quietly in the same spot, even having pulled the quilt higher to cocoon herself.

“So good,” Gu Wansheng stroked her head and handed her the water.

Wen Jinyan took the cup and took small sips. After finishing, she handed it back and even said, “Thank you.”

Gu Wansheng gave a low chuckle. “You’re so polite when you’re drunk.”

“Yanyan, have you ever been drunk before?”

Wen Jinyan shook her head.

Gu Wansheng felt a playful urge to tease her, after all, this was the first time she had seen Wen Jinyan like this.

“Who do you like the most?” Gu Wansheng sat on the edge of the bed, winding a lock of Wen’s hair around her finger, circle after circle.

“Gu Wansheng,” Wen Jinyan replied without hesitation.

Gratified, Gu Wansheng asked another: “Last time I asked when you started liking me, did you lie in your answer?”

Wen Jinyan shook her head.

Gu Wansheng absorbed this, tucking it into her heart where it turned into pure sweetness.

“If you like me, give me a kiss,” Gu Wansheng leaned in close.

Wen Jinyan leaned forward, cupped her face, and gave her a peck.

“Not there,” Gu Wansheng moistened her lips. She took Wen’s hand and guided her index finger to touch her lower lip. Wen Jinyan’s fingertips were a bit cool, so Gu Wansheng wanted to warm them. Her lips parted slightly, her tongue tracing the shape of the finger. Because of her writing, Wen Jinyan had slight calluses on her index finger. Gu Wansheng’s tongue lingered there as if offering comfort.

Enveloped by warmth, Wen Jinyan’s finger twitched, becoming stained with Gu Wansheng’s scent.

Because of that movement, Gu Wansheng’s body began to react. Her eyes clouded with emotion, and her chest rose and fell slightly. she pulled Wen Jinyan’s hand away and retreated.

Wen Jinyan frowned, her tone puzzled. “Why aren’t you continuing?”

Gu Wansheng choked on the air, trying to steer the conversation back. “Kiss me.”

Fortunately, the current Wen Jinyan was obedient enough and didn’t find the abrupt change in topic strange.

This time, Wen Jinyan kissed the right place, a light touch, like a dragonfly skimming the water.

In a performance, a “dragonfly” kiss can be more heart-fluttering than deep passion, it belongs to a pure, shy, ineffable love. It’s like ripples on water that seem to disappear but have actually sunk into the depths, or like a brush hesitating on rice paper, leaving only a faint shadow of ink.

The night breeze, tinged with the scent of fermented rice wine, brushed past the corners of the mouth; it was hard to tell if it was real, touching yet not touching, present yet absent.

Gu Wansheng was a good actress, she had been top of her performance classes every year and always added her own interpretation to characters.

But right now, Gu Wansheng was just Gu Wansheng, not “The Actress.” She wasn’t satisfied with a light touch, she wanted the surging passion of adulthood.

“Kiss me again,” her voice was already husky.

Wen Jinyan complied.

“Again.”

“Again.”

Wen Jinyan: “…”

Her lips were almost numb. The next time Gu Wansheng spoke, Wen Jinyan simply bit down on her.

Since she keeps asking for kisses, I’ll just bite her mouth so she can’t talk.

“Hiss” Gu Wansheng winced in pain and tried to move back, but Wen Jinyan wouldn’t let her, chasing after her as the taste of iron spread at the corner of her mouth.

Gu Wansheng carelessly wiped the blood from her lip. Her palm moved to the side of Wen’s neck, feeling the pulse jumping beneath the skin as hair fluttered lightly.

Gu Wansheng kissed her deeply, the kind involving tangled tongues. She held her tightly, hooking into her, her hand moving from the nape of the neck up into her hair, gripping firmly.

The sweet fragrance of rice wine still lingered between their lips. Gu Wansheng felt as though she, too, was becoming intoxicated.

The air was thick with lingering affection.

A whimper escaped from Wen Jinyan. Gu Wansheng pulled back for a second, gently wiping the moisture from Wen’s lips, and smiled. “Remember to breathe.”

She gave her three seconds, then chased after her again. Wen Jinyan’s hands rested weakly on Gu Wansheng’s shoulders. Gu Wansheng wrapped an arm around her waist to pull her tight, the softness was pressed against the fabric of her clothes. Wen Jinyan felt a bit uncomfortable and, unable to open her eyes, began to tug clumsily at Gu Wansheng’s clothes.

Realizing this, Gu Wansheng proactively solved Wen Jinyan’s “difficulty,” adding a quiet “Sorry.”

Though that apology was half-sincere and half-casual.

Wen Jinyan’s head was spinning, her body tingling. Fingertips moved up and down her spine repeatedly. She went soft, turning into a pool of water, as the thirsty traveler pressed forward hungrily.

Palms gripped the pillow tight. The light from the ceiling shattered in her eyes, blurring her vision. As the sensation hit her nerves with maximum impact, Wen Jinyan arched her back, her body trembling uncontrollably.

After losing track of time, by the time Gu Wansheng looked up again, Wen Jinyan had somehow fallen asleep.

Gu Wansheng felt satisfied. She looked up, took a tissue to wipe her mouth, and then gently cleaned Wen Jinyan as well.

Everywhere she touched, Wen Jinyan’s skin twitched, a detail Gu Wansheng noted clearly. As Wen’s lower abdomen rose and fell slightly, Gu Wansheng suppressed the desire that was rising again.

She couldn’t be so heartless as to go again while she was sleeping.

Gu Wansheng got out of bed to shower. Afterward, she brought a basin of warm water to clean Wen Jinyan properly and changed the bedsheets.

Wen Jinyan woke up very early, held fast in Gu Wansheng’s arms. The memories of last night flooded back like a tide, playing frame by frame in her mind.

They had done it again last night.

She looked up to see Gu Wansheng’s face, no makeup, skin as fair as jade. Those peach-blossom eyes were currently closed in sleep, their sharp edge hidden, making her look less aggressive. Wen Jinyan stared so intently that when the person opposite her opened her eyes, Wen froze for a second before quickly shutting her own.

It felt like being caught red-handed in an act of peeping.

Seeing the little movement, Gu Wansheng brushed her thumb against Wen Jinyan’s cheek, her eyes full of tenderness. “You’re awake?”

“Mhm.” Wen Jinyan snuggled into the crook of her neck. A notification chimed on a phone. Gu Wansheng reached out to reply, then set the phone back on the nightstand. The two enjoyed a moment of warmth before getting out of bed.

Today was their last day here. Due to Gu Wansheng’s movie schedule, they had to head back for the roadshow.

Gu Wansheng drew the curtains, letting the faint morning sunlight slant into the room. She opened the window and took a deep breath, exhaling the stale air. Leaning against the wall with both hands gripping the windowsill behind her, she let the light envelop her, her posture relaxed.

Since Gu Wansheng was backlit, Wen Jinyan couldn’t see her clearly. So, Wen got out of bed and walked over to stand beside her, looking out at the scenery.

The courtyard was covered in the red remains of firecrackers; on the first day of the New Year, one isn’t supposed to sweep away the dust.

Xiao Mian was standing with her back to them, holding a bowl and talking to Bai Jin. Gu Wansheng suddenly asked Wen Jinyan, “Want to guess if Xiao Mian is eating noodles, tangyuan (glutinous rice balls), wontons, or dumplings this morning?”

Wen Jinyan looked at Xiao Mian, then back at Gu Wansheng. “Is there a prize?”

“The loser gives the winner a gift.”

“Deal.”

“I bet she’s eating tangyuan,” Wen Jinyan said.

“Then I’ll guess she’s eating noodles,” Gu Wansheng said casually.

With the bet established, Gu Wansheng called out, “Xiao Mian!” The girl turned around, still chewing. After swallowing, she said, “Sister Gu, Sister Wen! Come out and eat breakfast quickly!”

“We’re coming. What are you eating?” Gu Wansheng asked smoothly.

“Tangyuan,” Xiao Mian replied. “There are also dumplings and wontons in the pot. Auntie Bai said she didn’t know when you’d wake up, so she didn’t make noodles.”

“Got it, eat slowly,” Gu Wansheng replied, then turned to Wen Jinyan.

She raised an eyebrow and smiled. “That was a very accurate guess.”

Wen Jinyan wore an expression of ‘of course.’ “Pure skill.”

Gu Wansheng was charmed by her confident little look.

Wen Jinyan held out her hand. “Where is my gift?”

Gu Wansheng put a finger to her lips, maintaining the mystery. “I’ll give it to you in a bit.”

Perhaps because of the intense “exercise” the night before, the two of them finished both the noodles and the tangyuan, shocking Xiao Mian as she cleared the table. The child asked with innocent curiosity, “Sister Gu, Sister Wen, did you not get enough to eat last night?”

Both of them choked simultaneously as they thought of the same thing. Gu Wansheng cleared her throat and gave a muffled “Mhm.”

Once Xiao Mian washed her bowl and scurried off, only Gu Wansheng and Wen Jinyan remained in the kitchen.

“Why did you actually answer her?” Wen Jinyan looked at her, both of them knowing exactly what was being implied.

“If I didn’t say something, she’d keep asking,” Gu Wansheng whispered an addition. “And I really didn’t get enough to eat.”

Last night, she had been mindful of Wen Jinyan’s drinking and only indulged a few times.

Gu Wansheng glanced at her and, as expected, saw Wen Jinyan’s ears turn bright red.

So cute, asking me questions even though she’s shy.

After breakfast, Gu Wansheng finally brought out her gift, a Red Envelope.

“May everything go smoothly, and all your wishes be fulfilled.”

Wen Jinyan was first surprised, then she laughed. “I’m not a child anymore.”

“Is there a rule saying only kids can receive red envelopes? Can’t adults have them?” Gu Wansheng asked.

Wen Jinyan’s heart beat like a heavy drum, echoing in her ears.

She had never received a red envelope as a child. Her family had never valued her, refusing to give her even a shred of warmth or affection, let alone a blessing. One of her own blood relatives had even wished she would vanish from the world.

Perhaps because she never had them as a child, receiving one for the first time as an adult felt like an incredible surprise, as if Gu Wansheng was reaching back to bless the younger version of herself.

It was just a red envelope.

Yet, Gu Wansheng had mended a deep-seated regret she hadn’t even realized she possessed. Even Wen Jinyan herself didn’t notice the profound leap of joy in her heart.