Self-Perception - Chapter 53

When Gu Wansheng returned, it was already three in the morning. The lights in the living room were still on. She closed the door softly, changed into her slippers, and dragged her weary body toward the sofa.

The lamp on the coffee table was set to its lowest brightness, dimmer than the entryway light.

Wen Jinyan was lying quietly on the sofa, her body semi-curled, covered with a wool blanket. She lay on her side, her hair spilling over the edge of the cushions.

Older folks used to say that curling up while sleeping is a sign of a lack of security.

Gu Wansheng lightened her steps and squatted by the sofa. She reached out to touch the tips of Jinyan’s hair, leaning down to plant a kiss. It was a gesture both devout and careful.

“Did you leave the light on specifically for me?” Gu Wansheng whispered to herself, looking at Jinyan’s back.

Gu Wansheng reached one arm under Wen Jinyan’s knees and the other behind her shoulders, carefully lifting her up.

The moment she was lifted, Wen Jinyan opened her eyes.

Their eyes met. Gu Wansheng’s voice was low and filled with tenderness. “Did I wake you?”

Wen Jinyan instinctively hooked her arms around Gu Wansheng’s neck, leaning against her and listening to her heartbeat. She replied slowly, “No.”

“Is that ‘no, you didn’t wake me,’ or ‘no, I wasn’t asleep at all’?”

“You weren’t here. I couldn’t sleep soundly.” Wen Jinyan nuzzled against her, her hair brushing against Gu Wansheng’s chin, tickling slightly.

“So sweet-talkative.” Gu Wansheng enjoyed the sentiment, a bright spark lighting up her eyes as her lips curled into a smile.

“You looked beautiful today,” Wen Jinyan said, staring at her profile.

On stage, Gu Wansheng had been radiant, like the sun, glowing with confidence. A single move where she caught falling paper scraps had already trended on social media, her follower count had jumped by 100,000 in mere minutes.

“If you keep praising me, I’ll start floating,” Gu Wansheng joked. Her steps remained steady as she reached the bedroom, using her elbow to press the handle and her leg to nudge the door open.

“I’ll hold onto you.”

It was a soft sentence. As Gu Wansheng placed her on the bed, she asked, “What did you say?”

“You are a truly wonderful person. I praise you because you are inherently good and deserve to be celebrated. You deserve to have your excellence seen by others. Even if you float away from the praise, I’ll be the one holding you down,” Wen Jinyan said, her gaze sincere.

“Teacher Wen is so indulgent with me.”

Hearing the new title, Wen Jinyan’s first reaction was surprise, followed by a wave of shyness.

She reflexively covered Gu Wansheng’s mouth. “Where did this title come from?”

“Don’t people often call novelists ‘Teacher’ or ‘Great Author’?” Gu Wansheng laughed. “Or would you prefer I call you ‘Great Author’?”

“Great Author?” Gu Wansheng tested the name, watching Wen Jinyan’s expression.

Wen Jinyan gave Gu Wansheng’s shoulder a light, playful shove, a warning.

“I’m sorry, I’ll stop,” Gu Wansheng yielded. “Will Yanyan forgive me?”

“Go to bed now.”

“Okay, let me take a shower first.”

By the time Gu Wansheng finished showering and lay down beside Wen Jinyan, it was past 3:30 AM. Gu Wansheng pulled her close. “Sleep now.”

Even in the early morning, the streets were still busy and the city remained vibrant. A man stood before a floor to ceiling window, looking down with lowered eyes.

“How is the script Mr. Li asked you to write coming along?” A woman’s voice broke the silence.

Xiao She turned around. Behind him was a half-dark, half-lit nightscape. He walked to the desk and leaned against it. “Creating a script takes time. Creating a good script takes even more energy.”

“It’s been six months. Have you even finished half?” Bo Shan didn’t give him any face, her voice dripping with mockery.

Xiao She looked up, gave her a brief glance, and lit a cigarette.

“I told you, I need time.”

Looking at his hypocritical face, Bo Shan felt a surge of anger.

“How much more time? Mr. Li has been sending people to pressure me every day lately. We signed a contract with him. If the deadline passes…”

Xiao She cut her off, stubbing out the cigarette. “Don’t worry. I have it under control.”

With nowhere to vent her fury, Bo Shan turned to leave, throwing back one final sentence: “It better be!”

Once she was gone, Xiao She lit another cigarette. Amidst the swirling smoke, he opened a locked cabinet and pulled out a stack of physical papers. He smirked. “As long as I have this, my inspiration will never run dry.”

He then opened his laptop. The screen was playing an old drama Gu Wansheng had acted in. The light reflected in his eyes, revealing an uncontrollable, feverish obsession.

Gu Wansheng couldn’t escape work even on the first day of the New Year. In the car, Meng Qiu was reporting her schedule.

“Sister Gu, we’re going to the office first to hear the itinerary. Do you want me to buy you something to eat? There’s a magazine shoot in the afternoon.”

“Just get me a coffee,” Gu Wansheng said.

“Sister Gu, did you not get enough rest last night?” Meng Qiu asked cautiously.

“I’m alright.” Gu Wansheng added, “I’m going to rest for a bit. Wake me when we arrive.”

If Meng Qiu knew that her boss had to leave a “fragrant and soft” wife every morning to go to work, she’d think life was bitter too.

“Okay.”

After washing up and eating breakfast, Wen Jinyan stayed in her study to write. After finishing a chapter, she stood up to stretch.

“I really can’t sit for too long, my back is getting worse,” Wen Jinyan muttered, heading to the home gym.

Around lunchtime, Su Muqing called her.

“Jinyan, we’ve arrived. There are hot springs here! The owner says they’re great for relaxing muscles and improving circulation. You sit in that chair writing all day, it’s bound to affect your health. I’ll bring you here when you’re free.”

“Okay,” Wen Jinyan felt a warmth in her heart. “What did you and Ji Yibai do today?”

“We’re going to hit the springs and then try the local specialty dishes. I’ll see if there are any souvenirs for you.”

“I’ll thank you in advance then,” Wen Jinyan said.

“No need for thanks between friends. I have to hang up, we’re heading to the springs now.”

“Bye.” As Wen Jinyan hung up, a WeChat notification popped up.

It was from Zhang Wen.

[Zhang Wen]: Bo Shan’s attitude toward Xiao She has been pretty bad lately. People often come to the company looking for her, seemingly to discuss a script. I’m not sure if it’s related.

[Wen Jinyan]: I understand. Take care of yourself. Has Xiao She assigned you any roles lately?

[Zhang Wen]: After I found him like you suggested, he was afraid of exposure. He put me in a small production to play the third female lead.

[Wen Jinyan]: I introduced an ophthalmologist to Li Fei, so someone can look after her if there are any emergencies.

After Zhang Wen and Wen Jinyan reached an agreement, Zhang Wen had shared everything. Previously, Xiao She had given her three million yuan in hush money. She used that money to treat Li Fei’s eyes. The good news was that Li Fei regained her sight, but because the treatment wasn’t performed at the optimal time, there were lingering risks of relapse and complications. Despite seeing many doctors, the answer remained the same: a 100% permanent cure wasn’t guaranteed.

[Zhang Wen]: Thank you.

The “thank you” carried a weight that went without saying.

Discussing a script…

Wen Jinyan seemed to realize something and let out a cold laugh.

So, after all these years, he hadn’t improved one bit.

Over the next two weeks, Gu Wansheng was busy traveling for various gigs. Meanwhile, Wen Jinyan’s audio drama was preparing for its premiere. The two basically only saw each other at night.

The organizers reached out to Wen Jinyan, hoping she would participate in the opening “FT” (Free Talk) broadcast. Considering this was her first non-romance (no CP) audio drama, they wanted to ask her about her views on the main characters to boost the drama’s popularity.

Wen Jinyan agreed. The market for no CP novels was relatively narrow. Although her work didn’t cater to the mainstream palate, the plot was tight and the logic was sound, which was exactly why the organizers had sought her out.

The broadcast was set for 8:00 PM. An hour before start, the host asked if Wen Jinyan needed help setting up her equipment via remote control.

Wen Jinyan replied, “I’m all set, thank you.”

Once everything was ready, the stream began.

She clicked the link sent by the host. It showed the broadcast screen for her audio drama, with about 300 viewers. Wen Jinyan listened to the host’s familiar pleasantries as the topic slowly shifted toward the drama.

“Today we have the author of Chong Ning in the studio, along with our lead voice actor.”

The host sent the invitation, and Wen Jinyan accepted.

“Would the author like to say a few words to the fans?”

“Hello everyone, I am the author of Chong Ning,” she said, before falling silent.

The host smoothed things over. “It seems our Great Author is a bit shy.”

However, the comment section didn’t go cold. On the contrary, it exploded: “This voice is incredible!” “Who understands? This slightly cold voice is literally killing me.” “Has the author been a voice actor before?”

It was the host’s first time hearing her voice too. Surprised but professional, they moved on to introduce the lead actor.

Since it was a no CP story, the lead actor carried most of the weight. The host began asking questions about “the actor’s thoughts and insights upon receiving the script.”

Once the actor finished, the host naturally called on Wen Jinyan.

Wen Jinyan’s answers were poised and standard. The atmosphere in the stream was very harmonious.

The host laughed, “I noticed the comments are split three ways. One group is praising the drama and recommending it. One group is praising the lead actor. And the third is praising our author’s voice!”

“Great Author, they keep asking if you’re a CV (Character Voice actor) haha.”

As the chat progressed, Wen Jinyan loosened up and joked, “No, no, I’m not. I’m not worthy.”

The comments were filled with “Hahahahahahaha.”

Just then, Gu Wansheng’s voice came from outside the door. “Yanyan?”

The voice wasn’t loud, but it was picked up by the microphone. Wen Jinyan scrambled to mute her mic.

“You’re back.”

“What were you just saying about being ‘worthy’ or not?” Gu Wansheng walked into the room. Seeing the broadcast on the screen, she realized what was happening and immediately shut her mouth.

“I already muted the mic,” Wen Jinyan explained. “My novel was turned into an audio drama, and the organizers invited me for the premiere talk today.”