Self-Perception - Chapter 40

“For real?” Shang Yi asked, half-doubting.

“For real,” Gu Wansheng replied, pushing Shang Yi forward. Shang Yi didn’t forget to remind her, “Don’t forget there’s a quarterly meeting at four o’clock. You can’t leave yet.”

Gu Wansheng realized her meaning a moment later and laughed. “Sister Shang…”

“I was afraid that if I didn’t stop you, you’d rush right back to see your wife,” Shang Yi teased.

Gu Wansheng called out her name again in protest, “Sister Shang!”

“Alright, alright, I’ll stop teasing you.” Shang Yi rode the elevator with Gu Wansheng. Upon exiting, Shang Yi took a phone call and waved goodbye. Gu Wansheng walked to the lounge, sat down, and poured herself a glass of water. Her WeChat notification chimed, she opened it and saw a message from Wen Jinyan.

She nearly dropped her glass.

This was effectively the first time meeting the family. With her aunt coming over for dinner, Gu Wansheng felt she needed to buy a gift. First impressions were vital, and this was her first contact with Wen Jinyan’s family. Her own aunt had even suggested Wen Jinyan had an “ulterior motive.” What motive could there be? She clearly liked her look, she was even proactively arranging a meeting with family now.

Gu Wansheng tapped the screen, took a screenshot, and sent it to Gu Huai.

Gu Wansheng: [What does your aunt like to eat? Any allergies? Roughly what time will she arrive? Should we pick her up?]

Feeling anxious, Gu Wansheng paced around the lounge. A staff member coming in to refill water greeted her, and Gu Wansheng offered a belated smile in return.

Wen Jinyan: [Auntie doesn’t have any specific favorites, but she hates spicy food. She knows our address, so we don’t need to fetch her.]

Gu Wansheng asked again: [Does she know about our relationship?]

Wen Jinyan: [Not yet.]

Upon seeing the message, Gu Wansheng’s expression immediately slumped.

If the aunt didn’t know, what would her title be? A friend? A roommate? This residential area didn’t exactly allow for casual rentals.

Wen Jinyan: [I plan to let her meet you in person first, then I’ll tell her about us.]

Gu Wansheng’s eyes lit up instantly. Wen Jinyan was so formal and sincere, she loved that about her.

Immersed in the warmth of those cold text characters, Gu Wansheng remained dazed even after the quarterly analysis meeting for the company’s artists ended. It wasn’t until a fellow artist noticed her still sitting in her chair and reminded her the meeting was over that she snapped out of it.

Gu Wansheng arrived home quite late that evening, carrying many bags of groceries. Since Wen Jinyan said her aunt wasn’t picky, Gu Wansheng was determined to show off her culinary skills to earn some “favor points” with the relative.

When she returned, Wen Jinyan was sitting on the sofa with her legs tucked up. Seeing Gu Wansheng lugging so many bags, she hurried over to help.

“Why did you buy so much?”

Wen Jinyan reached out to take the bags, but Gu Wansheng avoided her. Placing the groceries on a nearby storage cabinet, Gu Wansheng hooked her arms under the woman’s armpits and lifted her. Wen Jinyan let out a startled cry, instinctively wrapping her arms around the other’s neck.

“Gu Wansheng!” She hadn’t expected the sudden lift.

Gu Wansheng placed her on the counter, looking puzzled. “Hmm?”

She leaned down to pull a pair of fuzzy slippers from the shoe cabinet. Wen Jinyan’s legs were slender, with almost no fat on her calves, and very pale. Gu Wansheng could easily wrap a hand around her ankle.

“Weren’t you cold running over here?” Her tone was gentle, devoid of any real scolding.

“I didn’t notice,” the person on the cabinet replied.

“Auntie is coming the day after tomorrow. I have to have good things to entertain her with,” Gu Wansheng said, finally answering the question from minutes ago.

While speaking, she finished putting the shoes on her. Wen Jinyan leaned back against the counter and hopped down to the floor effortlessly. She glanced at the various bags, catching glimpses of different ingredients. “How about I tell Auntie we’ll go out to eat instead?”

It was still early enough to change plans. Gu Wansheng followed her gaze and understood. “Worried about me?”

“Yes, I am,” Wen Jinyan admitted, looking her in the eye.

Gu Wansheng’s heart softened. She kissed Wen Jinyan’s cheek. “It’s okay. I’m making hot pot, it’s not a hassle. Besides, homemade is cleaner.”

Wen Jinyan didn’t argue further. She picked up most of the bags to feel their weight and asked, “Do all of these go in the fridge?”

“The potatoes go on the floor; the rest in the fridge.”

The two began organizing together.

“What did you have for dinner tonight?” “Dumplings.” “The ones I made?” Gu Wansheng placed the lettuce on a shelf. “Mhm.” Wen Jinyan placed the tomatoes next to the lettuce. “Were they good?” “They were delicious.”

Gu Wansheng laughed again. Wen Jinyan wanted to cover her eyes, but remembered her hands were cold and stopped. She said helplessly, “Gu Wansheng, stop laughing.”

“Why?” Gu Wansheng’s smile didn’t fade. “I’m not even allowed to laugh? Yanyan, since when were you so bossy?”

Wen Jinyan’s heart hammered. These quiet, mundane fragments of time were precious to her.

“Because when you laugh, your eyes look so beautiful,” Wen Jinyan stared at her full lips. “It makes me really want to kiss you.”

When she first saw Gu Wansheng at the bar, she had been laughing then, too. Most people’s smiles involve the corners of the mouth and the eyes moving together. But Gu Wansheng’s smile started in her eyes, the corners of her phoenix eyes would lift slightly, filled with light, and then her lips would follow. Just looking at her would make one think she was stunning, pulling them in unknowingly.

One would willingly become a mere backdrop in her gaze, even if only for a fleeting moment.

Wen Jinyan spoke again, “Can I kiss you now, Gu Wansheng?”

Gu Wansheng’s heart raced as well, her palms growing warm. She looked at the other’s brow. “Let me take your glasses off first.”

A soft response hummed from Wen Jinyan’s throat. Without her glasses, she lost a bit of her gentleness and gained a sense of profound depth.

Gu Wansheng sighed softly. “Suddenly, I don’t really want to take them off anymore.”

“Why?” It was Wen Jinyan’s turn to ask.

Gu Wansheng kissed the corner of her mouth. “With the glasses on, you look so ‘obedient.’ Without them, you look like you have a story to tell, it makes people want to investigate you.”

“I could wear contact lenses,” Wen Jinyan reached out to put the glasses back on, but Gu Wansheng raised her hand, making her miss.

“No.”

“So if you think I’m ‘not obedient,’ you won’t kiss me?” It was a nonsensical question.

“Didn’t I just kiss you? Besides, I like you, not the accessories. I just feel that with glasses, your eyes become gentle, like a blank sheet of paper I can draw on. Without them, there’s a coldness, a sort of ‘aloof’ vibe that makes people curious to see what’s beneath the surface.”

“And, don’t change your habits for anyone, including me. You are Wen Jinyan first, before any other identity.”

This time, Gu Wansheng cupped her face and kissed her deeply, only pulling away when they were both out of breath. Wen Jinyan leaned into Gu Wansheng’s ear, her voice still breathy from the kiss. “Kiss me again, Gu Wansheng.”

“Yanyan, what are you like when you’ve had a drink?”

Wen Jinyan’s thoughts drifted, not quite reacting yet. “Huh?”

She was already this cute and clingy while sober, would she be even more clingy or have a total personality reversal when drunk? Gu Wansheng suddenly had a mischievous thought, she wanted to see what a drunk Wen Jinyan looked like.

“I don’t know. I rarely drink.”

She truly didn’t drink much. Firstly, she didn’t like the taste secondly, as a freelancer, she didn’t need to navigate the social politics of the dinner table. The last time she’d been forced to drink at a banquet was years ago. Back then, she was young and stubborn, unwilling to suck up to people. She had been high-spirited and already somewhat famous, only taking a few sips after a senior colleague gave her a subtle warning.

The two ended the conversation. Wen Jinyan went to shower while Gu Wansheng opened Weibo to browse on her burner account. She saw the third item on the entertainment trending list:

“Mr. Xiao She donates 4 million yuan again to children in impoverished mountain areas.”

The “Hot” tag followed. Unlike the usual fan wars between artists, the comment section was surprisingly harmonious and full of praise for Xiao She. Gu Wansheng scrolled down boredly until she saw one comment:

[Teacher Xiao She is simply too kind-hearted. No wonder he was so blind to someone’s true character a few years ago.]

Gu Wansheng narrowed her eyes. There were dozens of replies under this comment.

[Blind to someone’s character? Are you talking about ‘that’ incident?]

[Which incident? Do tell, I’m a new fan.]

[It wasn’t a huge deal, but it caused quite a stir in the industry back then. There was an editor who, relying on her fame, started acting recklessly. I heard any artist who wanted a script from her had to ‘contribute’ something. You know… both men and women.]

[Later, she took an interest in an actor and tried to ‘sponsor’ him. When he refused and risked being blacklisted to find Teacher Xiao She for help, Xiao She didn’t believe it at first, thinking it was slander. But then she backstabbed Xiao She. When the truth came out, Xiao She actually pleaded for mercy on her behalf, but that person didn’t say a word, she just stared at him like she wanted to swallow him whole. It sparked a lot of outrage, and she was forced out of the industry.]

[Would she really be that stupid?]

[Who knows? Maybe she was just too conceited. She was only 18 at the time. Famous young, plenty of money and fame… she probably thought she could buy love. Arrogant.]

As Gu Wansheng read, she felt she knew who they were talking about.

The “genius editor” known as Luo Zhou. She had been cursed out of the industry years ago due to some scandals and had vanished since. It was surprising that after all this time, people still brought it up as gossip.

She remembered that before she became famous, she had received an invitation from Luo Zhou, but the company dropped it once the scandal broke.

She wasn’t familiar with Xiao She, but he wasn’t a stranger either. He had invited her to star in his scripts before, but she had declined. Even Shang Yi hadn’t understood why she’d pass up such a win-win situation.

While his fame was high, none of the scripts he sent over appealed to her. Or rather, subconsciously, she just didn’t want to work with him. Shang Yi joked that she was being mysterious, and she honestly felt the same way.