Self-Perception - Chapter 34

In her room, Wen Jinyan had just finished showering. As she was about to blow-dry her hair, there was a knock at the door.

She had a faint guess as to who it was. Drying her hair with one hand, she said, “Come in.”

“Miss Wen, I’ve made up my mind.” Zhang Wen closed the door and stood opposite Wen Jinyan.

Wen Jinyan stood up from her chair and extended her hand. “A wise choice, Miss Zhang.”

“I hope you can keep the promise you made me.” Zhang Wen shook her hand briefly.

“Of course. I can help you return to the screen, and I won’t let the people from that side disturb your life with Li Fei.”

Zhang Wen looked into her eyes. Those eyes were as calm as a lake without a single ripple, yet they carried a piercing sense of scrutiny.

That look… a flash of realization suddenly jolted Zhang Wen’s mind.

No wonder she came looking for me. No wonder… no wonder…

“Miss Zhang.” Wen Jinyan’s voice interrupted her thoughts. “It’s time for you to go.”

Zhang Wen snapped back to reality. Despite the October weather, her back was covered in a cold sweat. “Then I won’t disturb Miss Wen any longer.”

Only after stepping out of the room did Zhang Wen slowly exhale. She ran into Li Fei, who was coming up the stairs.

Li Fei blinked. “A-Wen?”

Zhang Wen naturally took the tray from her hands. “Which room is this for? I’ll deliver it.”

“Room 2.” Li Fei didn’t notice anything unusual and smiled. “Thanks for the hard work, A-Wen.”

“It’s no trouble.” Zhang Wen kissed her cheek and smiled.

Since she was holding the tray, Li Fei only lightly patted her shoulder. “What if someone sees?”

“Fine, I’ll find a more hidden spot to kiss you next time.” Zhang Wen turned away, her eyelids drooping.

Years ago, she had accidentally overheard the truth about Xiao She and Lu Wan. Xiao She had found her and given her a large sum of money to keep the secret buried. At that time, she needed the money desperately, so she agreed to his demands.

Consequently, in front of the media back then, she could only watch from the shadows as Wen Jinyan stood in the public eye, enduring cold stares and insults.

Wen Jinyan’s expression then was exactly the same as it was now, perhaps even paler and more lifeless.

She remembered it clearly because Wen Jinyan’s gaze had briefly met hers. Wen Jinyan had just stood there, her spine straight. There was no helplessness in her eyes, no grievance, and no attempt to defend herself.

The media took her silence as a confession. Zhang Wen had thought so too at the time. Thinking back now, it was likely that Wen Jinyan simply didn’t want to defend herself against things that didn’t exist, knowing that any explanation would only lead to more excessive abuse.

It turned out Wen Jinyan had understood that truth even back then.

How had she failed to recognize her when they first met?

The fact that Wen Jinyan hadn’t retaliated after finding out the truth was already an act of extreme professional and personal restraint.

Gu Wansheng’s bed carried the scent of Silver Mountain Water tea. Wen Jinyan lay on it, breathing in the scent belonging to her, it was inexplicably comforting.

“Sleeping without even covering yourself with a blanket.” In a daze, Wen Jinyan felt someone tuck her hand under the covers. Opening her eyes, she saw the person she had been longing for. Wen Jinyan instinctively reached out, and Gu Wansheng leaned down to pull her into an embrace.

“Did I wake you?” The woman’s voice was very gentle.

Wen Jinyan’s voice was muffled. “No, I was waiting for you.”

“Waiting for what?” The woman lowered herself closer, her voice whispering in her ear with a hint of seduction. “Waiting for me to kiss you?”

The woman’s hand slowly moved down, resting on the corner of her lips. “Is that it?”

Wen Jinyan opened her eyes. The quiet room was completely empty of Gu Wansheng.

Had she reached the point where she missed Gu Wansheng this much? Was she already this impatient to kiss her?

Wen Jinyan pulled her phone from under the covers. It was already 10:00 PM. Gu Wansheng had sent her a message two hours ago saying she might be back late.

Wen Jinyan typed: [Just woke up, only just saw the message.]

She sent another: [Are you still busy?]

Gu Wansheng: [Sister Jinyan, Sister Gu is still livestreaming. I have her phone for now.]

The person replying was Meng Qiu. Wen Jinyan asked: [Will it take much longer?]

Gu Wansheng: [Probably another hour or two. Sister Gu said if you’re tired, you don’t need to wait up for her.]

Wen Jinyan: [Is it convenient for me to come over? Where are you?]

The other side didn’t reply immediately, likely considering the request.

Wen Jinyan got up to pour a glass of water. Just as she took a sip, a message came through. Meng Qiu had sent a location pin.

Wen Jinyan set off, went back to her room to change, and borrowed a flashlight from Li Fei.

“Are you going out this late?” Li Fei handed her the flashlight.

“Yes,” Wen Jinyan replied briefly.

“It’s dark outside and there are no streetlights. A-Wen happens to be heading out too, why don’t you two go together? You’ll have someone to talk to on the way,” Li Fei said, immediately sending Zhang Wen a message.

Wen Jinyan looked at the pitch-black sky outside. Although she wasn’t particularly afraid of the dark, she wasn’t familiar with the area. Having someone to guide her was a good option.

Zhang Wen walked over and felt a bit nervous seeing Wen Jinyan talking to Li Fei. As she approached, she could hear the warmth in Li Fei’s voice. Seeing Zhang Wen, Li Fei greeted her quickly, “A-Wen, go with Miss Wen. Remember to bring this bag of vegetables to Grandma Chen.”

Zhang Wen took the bag from the table and agreed. The two women headed out together.

The night wind blew wildly, howling in their ears. Wen Jinyan walked with a straight posture. The wind tossed her hair, but she calmly tucked it aside, unaffected.

“I’m sorry.” Zhang Wen’s voice mixed with the wind, reaching Wen Jinyan’s ears.

She didn’t stop, offering only an “Mhm” in response.

Zhang Wen thought she hadn’t heard clearly and spoke louder. “About what happened years ago… I’m sorry. At that time, I had no choice…”

“Miss Zhang,” Wen Jinyan spoke calmly, her voice light. “Watch the road.”

“There are no lights. Be careful not to trip.”

Zhang Wen fell silent. A few seconds later, she managed to say, “Okay.”

She stopped talking because she understood Wen Jinyan’s stance from those few words.

Wen Jinyan held the flashlight steadily. She acknowledged the apology, but that didn’t mean she had to accept it. She didn’t need to step into Zhang Wen’s shoes, see things from her perspective, or forgive and sympathize with her so-called “difficulties.”

She wouldn’t do that. Actions have consequences. she wasn’t a saint with overflowing mercy. Not seeking revenge against Zhang Wen was already the limit of her rationality.

Halfway there, Wen Jinyan squinted. A beam of light was swaying ahead. As it got closer, she saw it was Meng Qiu. Wen Jinyan instinctively covered the lens of her own flashlight and pointed it downward.

“Sister Jinyan, Sister Gu asked me to come pick you up.” Meng Qiu dimmed his flashlight and pointed it toward the ground.

Seeing that Wen Jinyan had someone to escort her, Zhang Wen didn’t want to linger in the awkwardness. She made an excuse about going a different way, said her goodbyes, and left.

Before leaving, Wen Jinyan handed her the flashlight vertically. “Please take this back for me, and thank Boss Li on my behalf.”

Zhang Wen agreed and walked off down another path.

“Sister Jinyan, who was that?”

“Not someone I’m close to.” Wen Jinyan watched the white light spreading across the ground, her eyes following it.

I thought you were quite familiar with each other, Meng Qiu thought, but didn’t pursue the topic.

The two arrived at a house, a very ordinary, decorated home. A plum tree grew in the courtyard. Meng Qiu led Wen Jinyan into a room.

The decor here was markedly different from the rest of the house, the walls were painted and the space was wider. The room was filled with bamboo baskets overflowing with plums, and the air was thick with the scent of ripe fruit.

Gu Wansheng sat in the middle. In front of her was a table with livestreaming equipment, which was really just a few smartphones. Another woman, likely an assistant, sat beside her. Behind them stood a woman in a crisp shirt, standing perfectly straight.

“Sister Gu has about an hour and a half left.” Meng Qiu brought over a small stool from somewhere and placed it against the wall for Wen Jinyan.

Wen Jinyan sat down, then immediately stood back up.

Meng Qiu was confused.

“I ate a bit much tonight; I’ll stand to help digestion.”

Meng Qiu nodded.

In reality, she hadn’t eaten much at all. She simply realized that if she sat down, the others would block her view of Gu Wansheng. So she stood against the wall, making sure she wasn’t in anyone’s way while keeping Gu Wansheng in her sight.

She watched Gu Wansheng talk eloquently, doing her best to introduce the plums and describe the product in simple, easy to understand terms. Then, Gu Wansheng wiped her forehead with a tissue, took a small sip of water, and stared at the screen to answer questions.

Actually, she didn’t have to work this hard. She was a top-tier star with immense commercial value and a loyal fanbase. She could have just sat there, said a few words, and let the collaborators handle the rest.

But she didn’t. To make sure the viewers saw clearly, she held a plum against the palm of her other hand for scale, tasted them herself to give reviews, and reminded viewers to consume rationally and not overbuy.

She responded to everything, she was thorough.

A person like this, whether under the spotlights of a stage, on a giant cinema screen, at an awards ceremony, or sitting right here, possessed an immense charm. It was a magnetic pull that made people follow her willingly.

Wen Jinyan’s gaze was so direct that even Gu Wansheng, who was busy selling goods, noticed it. As if by telepathy, she found a few seconds to look back.

The moment their eyes met, Wen Jinyan felt as if she’d been caught red-handed. She pretended to look away nonchalantly.

Gu Wansheng pressed her lips together and smiled.

The assistant nearby saw a question in the comments and read it out: “What is Teacher Gu smiling at? Did you see something?”

“It’s nothing.” Gu Wansheng gave a symbolic cough, watching as the screen went from a string of question marks to: “Smile more! Please smile more, I’ll do anything!”

Gu Wansheng tried her best to pull the conversation back to the topic.

Wen Jinyan heard every word the assistant said, and the tips of her ears gradually turned pink.

Meng Qiu, returning from a breath of fresh air, saw her and was puzzled. “Sister Jinyan, are you hot?”

Why were her neck and ears completely red?

“It’s a bit stuffy,” Wen Jinyan replied, rolling up her sleeves slightly. Her gaze fell squarely on the plums in the bamboo baskets.