Secret Lover Who Stealthily Fell in Love with My Older Sister - Chapter 55

Chapter 55: Self-Doubt

After Qiao Xi started college, she could no longer come home for meals every day. Shen Ya returned to her former solitary life, though the traces of Qiao Xi remained in the house. When she was idle, she often thought of the happy days Qiao Xi spent by her side.

Shen Ya knew Qiao Xi would be busy. University wouldn’t be as easy and free as Qiao Xi thought. Not only was the coursework heavy, but there were also various social activities. Still, Qiao Xi sent her messages every day, from her three daily meals to morning and evening greetings; Qiao Xi had not missed a single day.

Since Qiao Xi’s enrollment, Shen Ya hadn’t seen her again. On weekends, Qiao Xi had many things to do: either driving lessons or school activities she couldn’t skip. When she finally had free time, she had to go home to spend time with her mothers and sisters.

In contrast, Shen Ya found she had more time than Qiao Xi. She had thought about visiting her at Jianglan University, but what would be her purpose for going?

Without a suitable reason, and fearing her actions might trouble Qiao Xi, Shen Ya lay on the sofa at home, a tablet recently set aside. She didn’t know what was wrong with her. She had lived alone for so many years, yet now she couldn’t stand the silence of the house. She constantly wanted some noise, and her mind involuntarily went back to Qiao Xi.

Was her longing for Qiao Xi too abnormal?

Shen Ya sighed. Being overly dependent on someone wasn’t a good thing. Hadn’t she fallen for Jiang Yunxi before?

She paused, a look of confusion surfacing in her eyes. Why was she comparing Qiao Xi to Jiang Yunxi?

She had once believed she loved Jiang Yunxi, which was why her heart and mind were entirely focused on her. But she didn’t have those kinds of feelings for Qiao Xi.

No… that’s not right…

Shen Ya sat up from the sofa, one hand covering her face. In that instant, a strange thought had sprung into her mind. This shouldn’t be happening. She saw Qiao Xi as a friend, a younger sister. How could she possibly harbor inappropriate feelings for her “little sister?”

She thought perhaps it was because Qiao Xi was the only focus of her recent life, which was why she was overthinking and feeling restless.

Shen Ya changed her clothes and left the house. She called a car to Blank. It had been a while since she visited the place. Tonight, her mind was complicated, and she needed a quiet place to have a drink, and Blank was the only place she was familiar with.

The car stopped by the road. The private club in front of her looked unchanged. She stood at the entrance, gazing up at the signless facade. Her mind was as blank as the club’s name, empty of any coherent thought.

“Oh~” A seductive female voice came from behind. The person affectionately hooked her arm around Shen Ya’s waist. “Look who it is. Teacher Shen, how long has it been? I thought you’d forgotten about my little place.”

Shen Ya expressionlessly pulled the hand off her waist and subtly shifted one step to the side. “Mhm.”

“What a coincidence, we made crayfish tonight. You really came at the right time.” Zhou Ziqian was dressed like a flamboyant peacock, her big wavy hair falling to her waist. She wore a seductive perfume.

Shen Ya had known Zhou Ziqian for several years. She was one of Blank’s owners and the girlfriend of the other owner, Fang Moyao. These two were famous in the Jianglan City circle and were an enviable, loving couple.

As they reached the entrance, they saw a tall, slender woman with a slightly pale, somewhat sickly complexion standing at the entrance of Blank. When the woman saw Shen Ya, she offered a flawless, polite smile, nodded at Shen Ya, and said, “Long time no see, Shen Ya.”

“Long time no see.”

“The crayfish just came out of the pot. Come in quickly.” As they approached, Fang Moyao walked between Zhou Ziqian and Shen Ya. She turned her head to Shen Ya and asked, “Did Yunyi call you here?”

“No.”

Fang Moyao rolled her eyes and nodded to herself: “Right. Yunyi said you’ve changed a lot lately. Do you have a new life or a new relationship?”

Shen Ya remained silent. She didn’t know how to answer. Everyone at Blank likely knew she and Jiang Yunxi had broken up, and she had indeed entered a completely strange new life guided by Qiao Xi.

She didn’t offer a response until they walked into Blank’s lobby. Fang Moyao didn’t mind her dismissal, seemingly used to her coldness. She maintained her enthusiasm, leading her to a large table occupied by several people.

Shen Ya spotted Jiang Yunyi among the group immediately. When their eyes met, Jiang Yunyi was first surprised, then briefly delighted. Jiang Yunyi whispered a few words to a woman beside her, who then gave up her seat for Shen Ya.

“Come sit here.” Jiang Yunyi gestured to the spot beside her and naturally asked Zhou Ziqian to prepare new cutlery for her. After Shen Ya sat down, she turned her head and whispered, “Not busy today?”

“Mhm.”

Jiang Yunyi took two gloves from the table and handed them to Shen Ya: “Have you had dinner?”

“Mhm, I have.” Shen Ya accepted them and thanked her.

Shen Ya knew everyone at the table. They were all familiar faces, mostly friends close to Fang Moyao and Jiang Yunyi. There was no need for an icebreaker. After two sentences from Zhou Ziqian, the atmosphere was already lively.

There were several basins of crayfish on the table. She tried one and found the taste good. If Qiao Xi were here, she would be very happy.

Shen Ya’s hand, peeling the shrimp shell, froze. She had left home tonight to change her focus and mood, so why did everything she did, saw, or heard immediately remind her of Qiao Xi?

The familiar feeling returned once she stepped into Blank. This made her keenly aware that while Qiao Xi was close to her and showed her different perspectives, they ultimately belonged to two different worlds. What Jiang Yunxi didn’t want Qiao Xi to know, Shen Ya was equally afraid Qiao Xi would find out about her past life in this circle.

Pure, simple, and sincere Qiao Xi—if she knew about these unconventional preferences, would she show disgust? How would Qiao Xi view her? Would she still be as enthusiastic towards her as before?

But she and Qiao Xi were just friends. If Qiao Xi couldn’t accept her experience at Blank, the most she would lose was a confidante. Why did the mere thought of it feel unacceptable to her?

Her concern for Qiao Xi seemed to be greater than she had imagined.

“What’s wrong?”

Seeing Shen Ya holding the crayfish in a daze for a long time, Jiang Yunyi couldn’t help but ask. Seeing Shen Ya tonight was both surprising and delightful. The last time Shen Ya visited was late last year; it had been almost a year since she had seen Shen Ya at Blank.

She knew Shen Ya’s recent changes might be related to her little sister, Qiao Xi, and she was happy to see a more lively spirit in Shen Ya. She thought Shen Ya was here to catch up with friends today, but from the moment she saw her, she saw through the confusion and restlessness in Shen Ya’s eyes.

She didn’t know what exactly had happened to make Shen Ya so uneasy. She wanted to ask, but given her relationship with Shen Ya, the other woman would likely not only refuse to answer but also find her too intrusive.

“Does the crayfish not taste good?”

Shen Ya shook her head, and her hand started moving again. She peeled a shrimp, put the meat in her mouth, and then took off her gloves. Jiang Yunyi immediately handed her a wet wipe and said, “If you don’t want to eat, shall I join you for a cup of tea over there?”

“No need, I want to be alone for a bit.” Shen Ya stood up, politely declining Jiang Yunyi’s offer. She picked up her bag and walked away from the table towards the deeper part of the hall.

Jiang Yunyi and Fang Moyao exchanged a look, and then Jiang Yunyi also left her seat. Watching Jiang Yunyi and Shen Ya walk away, one after the other, Fang Moyao hooked her finger, and Zhou Ziqian leaned her ear close to her mouth.

“Prepare a separate portion of crayfish and get some drinks for them.” Fang Moyao thought for a moment, then added, “If Shen Ya asks anything, tell her I’m treating tonight.”

“Okay~” Zhou Ziqian drew out the end of her word, acting like a willing servant. But as she stood up, she leaned back down and rubbed her head against Fang Moyao’s neck. Then, she adopted a cooing voice, like a thousand-year-old fox spirit from the mountains: “Then can my Yao Yao Sister peel some crayfish for me?”

Fang Moyao smiled, raising her hand to pinch Zhou Ziqian’s ear, then leaving a light kiss on her cheek: “Go quickly.”

“Will do!” Zhou Ziqian, sporting the lipstick mark on her face, happily went to set up a private space for Jiang Yunyi and Shen Ya.

Shen Ya settled into the farthest seating area. As soon as she sat down, Jiang Yunyi came over and joined her. Although Jiang Yunyi looked gentle, her presence was still strong.

“If you’re in a bad mood, I could be a listener.”

A listener…

Qiao Xi was indeed a good listener too. She always appeared when Shen Ya needed her most, always mature like a little adult, discerning her thoughts and warming her heart with enthusiasm.

Shen Ya smiled helplessly in her heart. Looking at it this way, Qiao Xi didn’t seem like she was raised by Jiang Yunxi but rather by Jiang Yunyi. The two sisters were quite similar in some ways, always keen to be her listener.

“I’m not in a bad mood.” She was merely confused. She wasn’t sure if her excessive attachment to Qiao Xi harbored any other intentions.

“You’re not in a bad mood?” Jiang Yunyi crossed her long legs, resting her back lightly against the sofa, one hand on the armrest, the other supporting her head as she smiled at Shen Ya: “But you seem a bit lost? Are you encountering difficulties in life?”

Shen Ya shook her head: “Not really.”

“Then…”

“I don’t know how to explain it.”

As they were talking, Zhou Ziqian arrived with a small basin of crayfish. Behind her was a waiter holding two cups of custom-made fruit wine. “Here, here, excuse me. The crayfish and wine are on my Fang Moyao. Enjoy, bosses. Call me if you need anything.”

After setting down the crayfish, Zhou Ziqian dismissed the waiter, then quietly asked, “Is there anything I can listen to?”

Jiang Yunyi glanced at her: “Get lost, or I’ll tell Fang Moyao you’re trying to take a paid vacation again.”

Hearing this, Zhou Ziqian immediately rolled her eyes, then quickly smiled seductively: “Boss Jiang, we’ve known each other for so long, you can’t hurt me like this. I’m leaving now. Enjoy your meal, ladies.” Before leaving, Zhou Ziqian blew a kiss to both of them.

After she was gone, Jiang Yunyi shook her head and said, “Fang Moyao and Zhou Ziqian are always up to no good.”

“They… have a very good relationship.” Shen Ya looked thoughtfully at Zhou Ziqian’s retreating figure.

“Mhm. As you should know, Zhou Ziqian grew up under Fang Moyao’s watch. They used to live across the street from each other. Their mothers got together when Fang Moyao was in middle school. Although they didn’t officially register their marriage, they’ve been a family for a long time. In fact, those two are officially married now; they are legally wives, but they don’t want to publicize it, so they’re still seen as a loving young couple by outsiders.”

“They’re already married?” Shen Ya was surprised. She had known Fang Moyao for many years but didn’t know these details. After all, her world only revolved around Jiang Yunxi then, and she wasn’t sociable, so she naturally didn’t know this information.

“Fang Moyao started dating Zhou Ziqian as soon as she became an adult. They’ve been together for so many years and are still full of passion.”

Shen Ya nodded, agreeing with Jiang Yunyi’s statement. Zhou Ziqian was younger than her, only recently graduated from university, but Fang Moyao was the same age as Jiang Yunyi. The two also had an age difference, but they seemed to get along well and were deeply in love.

Jiang Yunyi continued, “If you want to hear their story, Zhou Ziqian would be happy to tell you. I’m afraid she wouldn’t let you leave even if you stopped listening.”

There was some jest in her words, but when Shen Ya thought of Zhou Ziqian’s personality, she felt the statement was accurate. The other woman was even more lively and unruly than Qiao Xi. Her knack for smooth talk would likely make even Qiao Xi concede defeat.

She wondered how Fang Moyao had endured her all these years.

What started as a casual conversation allowed Jiang Yunyi to sense something unusual. She seemed to have guessed why Shen Ya was lost tonight, though she didn’t know who the other person Shen Ya was thinking of might be.

Jiang Yunyi didn’t disturb Shen Ya while she was zoning out. She merely arranged the two fruit wines, put on the gloves, and slowly peeled the crayfish, placing the meat on the plate in front of Shen Ya.

“Thank you.” Shen Ya only snapped back to attention when Jiang Yunyi set down the second piece of shrimp meat. She quickly thanked her, put on her gloves, and said, “I’ll do it myself.”

Jiang Yunyi, about to put down the third crayfish, immediately changed direction: “Zhou Ziqian is not a bad person. The fact that she and Fang Moyao personally sent us drinks and crayfish tonight already means they consider you one of their own.”

So… what was Jiang Yunyi trying to tell her?

“So, if you have any trouble that you’re uncomfortable telling me, perhaps you can talk to Zhou Ziqian. Don’t worry, she won’t tell me or anyone else. You might not believe this, but her mouth is tighter than anyone else’s.”

Shen Ya wasn’t sure if Jiang Yunyi said this because she had seen through some of her thoughts. This was just a normal conversation, where did her words show a flaw?

This made her once again sigh at how smart Qiao Xi’s family seemed to be, whether old or young. It felt like her true feelings could never be hidden from them.

“Thank you.”

“Don’t be a stranger. After all, we’ve known each other for a long time. We should be considered friends, right?”

The word “friend” coming from Jiang Yunyi’s mouth gave Shen Ya a new insight. Her feelings toward Jiang Yunxi, Qiao Xi, and Jiang Yunyi were all different. Which one was true love, and which one was the emotion of a normal friendship?