Saving My Life By Simping For My Empress - Chapter 29

Chapter 29: Wei Yu followed the momentum and lay right in Qin Ji’s arms.

After several days of high-spirited fun with Wei Yu at the hunting grounds, it was time for Qin Ji to move on. The Spring Rite still had two components to complete: digging the earth and fishing.

Qin Ji had reached the age of twenty without ever performing farm work. As he held a hoe and listened to an old farmer explain how to dig, he looked utterly soul-weary.

“Let me try,” Qin Ji said. He shouldered the hoe, found a patch of land, recalled the posture the farmer had taught him, rubbed his hands together, and raised the hoe high.

The hoe rose high and fell heavily, sinking into the soil. With a forceful tug from Qin Ji, the earth was turned over.

“Yes, yes, yes! Just like that! Your Majesty is naturally gifted!” the old farmer praised sincerely.

Qin Ji: “…” He didn’t particularly want this gift. Compared to being a farmer, he felt he was probably better suited to being an Emperor.

Jokes aside, if he were a farmer, what would he use to support Wei Yu? Dreams?

Qin Ji continued practicing his digging, waiting for his official debut tomorrow. This was an imperial manor; all the land belonged to him as the Emperor of Qin, and it was all prime soil. It was even black earth.

As Qin Ji dug, he recalled his middle school geography: black soil in the Northeast, purple soil in the Sichuan Basin… His long-dead middle school geography was starting to attack him! Aaahhh!

Qin Ji didn’t stop until he was drenched in sweat. He stepped back to look at the fruits of his labor.

“Old man, give me your expert opinion. Is this digging acceptable?” Gao De handed him a handkerchief, and Qin Ji wiped the sweat from his forehead.

“Excellent, excellent!” the old farmer said repeatedly.

“Your Majesty, it is time to return to the manor for dinner,” Gao De reminded him.

Qin Ji: “Let’s head back then.”

While the hunting took place at the hunting grounds, the digging and fishing were held at the imperial manor. Calling it a “manor” was an understatement; it covered a vast area including a thousand acres of fertile land, a hot spring palace, and a massive lake reflecting the blue sky and white clouds. Qin Ji suddenly understood why so many people wanted to be Emperor—the Emperor was too, too, too rich!

By the time he returned to the traveling palace after practicing, Wei Yu was still taking his afternoon nap. Qin Ji took a quick bath to wash away the day’s sweat and changed into clean clothes before going to wake him.

“Wei Yu, don’t sleep anymore. It’s time for dinner. Are you hungry?” Qin Ji gently patted Wei Yu through the quilt. No one had ever seen someone wake another person up like this; if Wei Yu hadn’t actually been asleep, one would think Qin Ji was trying to coax him to sleep.

Wei Yu murmured, “Is it already time for dinner?”

Qin Ji: “It is. Get up and eat first, so you can go to bed early tonight.”

Having moved from the hunting grounds to the manor today, Wei Yu had risen early and faced the exhaustion of the road. Combined with the fact that the physician’s prescriptions were increasingly sedative, Wei Yu had crawled under the covers to sleep right after finishing his lunch and digesting.

Wei Yu slowly opened his eyes to find Qin Ji’s face hovering extremely close.

“Why are you so close?” Wei Yu uncomfortably clutched his inner robe. Fortunately, he was under the quilt, so Qin Ji couldn’t see his small movements.

Qin Ji smiled and gave Wei Yu’s eyelid a kiss. “You didn’t eat much at lunch. Has your stomach gone flat with hunger?”

Wei Yu: “If you want to know, just feel it yourself.”

Qin Ji sat on the edge of the bed, reached his hand under the quilt, and began to feel around randomly.

Wei Yu: “…” You’re actually putting your hand in?

“Hmm, it feels flat to me.” Qin Ji hadn’t realized his behavior was very much like a rogue’s. He hurried Wei Yu out of bed and helped him dress for dinner.

Since they weren’t attending a formal occasion, Wei Yu’s hair wasn’t tied up; it was simply gathered behind his head with a ribbon. This casual Wei Yu was also very beautiful—less serious, more gentle. Every day, Qin Ji thanked heaven, earth, and his ancestors for the blessing of dating this great beauty.

“There’s Squirrel-shaped Mandarin Fish tonight.” Qin Ji led Wei Yu to his seat and nodded to Gao De to serve the meal.

Gao De took the hint, and the first dish served was the Squirrel-shaped Mandarin Fish. The lid was lifted, revealing a fragrant fish carved into a specific shape that caught Wei Yu’s attention.

“It really does look like a squirrel’s tail,” Wei Yu poked it with his chopsticks like a curious child.

Qin Ji: “This fish is boneless. You can eat it without worry.”

Of course, there were other dishes. The manor’s chef had stewed a chicken soup using mushrooms gathered from the mountains after the rain; it wasn’t greasy, carrying only a delicate mushroom aroma. There were also stir-fried bamboo shoots, grown right on the manor and sourced locally.

“Why do I smell a floral scent in these bamboo shoots?” Wei Yu sniffed carefully again. “It seems like peach blossoms.”

Gao De immediately replied, “To answer Your Highness, the manor is at the foot of the mountain, and the peach blossoms are currently in full bloom.”

“The Peach Blossom Wine sent to the palace comes from this manor, right?” Qin Ji asked.

Gao De: “Replying to Your Majesty, that is correct.”

“Call the chef who made these stir-fried bamboo shoots,” Qin Ji ordered. He then placed more bamboo shoots into Wei Yu’s bowl. “If you like them, eat more.”

The chef was soon brought in. After he performed his salutations, Qin Ji asked about the preparation of the dish. It was magical—it had a faint taste of peach blossoms, yet none were visible on the plate.

“Replying to Your Majesty, I boiled the fresh bamboo shoots in water infused with peach blossoms, then stir-fried them. Thus, a hint of the peach blossom fragrance remains.”

The chef himself was surprised; the taste was very subtle, and unless one had a particularly keen sense of smell, it wouldn’t be noticed.

Qin Ji tilted his head to ask Wei Yu, “What do you think?”

Wei Yu smiled. “Very creative.”

Qin Ji immediately waved his hand. “Gao De, reward him.” Anything that made Wei Yu happy deserved a reward. The chef quickly knelt to thank the imperial grace.

As Gao De led him away to receive his reward, the chef asked, “Eunuch Gao, who is the person sitting at the same table as His Majesty?” The Emperor had rewarded an obscure little chef like him just because of that person.

Gao De said meaningfully, “That person? You may simply address him as ‘Your Highness’.” A prince could be a “Highness,” but so could an Empress.

Wei Yu ate a lot for dinner, having half a bowl more rice than usual, which made Qin Ji ecstatic.

“I want to go back to sleep,” Wei Yu yawned, physiological tears pricking the corners of his eyes. “I feel like I haven’t slept enough.”

Qin Ji said seriously, “If you sleep now, you’ll wake up in the middle of the night. Sleep a bit later, be good.” He used his thumb to wipe away the tear from Wei Yu’s eye and leaned in for a kiss.

Wei Yu’s ears turned red again from the kiss. “Why are you always kissing me all day long?” Wei Yu really wanted to know which of Qin Ji’s meridians had been opened.

Qin Ji told the truth: “I can’t help myself.”

Wei Yu: “…”

“Do you want to go to the hot springs?” Qin Ji suggested. “The traveling palace has many pools. They say soaking is very helpful for healing. Why don’t we go for a soak?”

There was no geothermal activity around the Wei capital, so Wei Yu had never soaked in a hot spring in his life. He was a bit tempted.

“Very well.” He decided to be a bit more reserved; he was a prince after all and shouldn’t act like he’d never seen the world.

Qin Ji happily sent people to prepare. He had assigned the hot spring pools according to the living quarters; whichever area you stayed in was the pool you used. He wouldn’t enjoy it alone; the ministers and nobles could also soak. However, he took the largest one, located right at the back of his quarters. The spring was enclosed by architecture so as not to be seen directly, though some steam still escaped.

For the soak, they wore only thin inner robes. Qin Ji stepped down the stairs first, then reached out his hand to support Wei Yu. “Come down.”

Wei Yu held Qin Ji’s hand and walked down, joining him in the largest pool.

“It’s a bit hot.” Wei Yu shivered slightly upon entering, feeling the coldness in his body being chased away by the scalding water. It was very comfortable.

Qin Ji leaned over. “Come, I’ll give you a massage.”

Wei Yu followed the momentum and lay right in Qin Ji’s arms. For a moment, it was hard to tell if the water was hotter or if Qin Ji’s body was.

With the “warm jade” in his arms, Qin Ji didn’t think of anything else; he simply massaged Wei Yu carefully. Wei Yu, however, recalled Qin Ji wanting to massage him before. He had refused then because Qin Ji was still injured, saying there would be other opportunities—he hadn’t expected the opportunity to come so soon.

Thinking of the wound on Qin Ji’s arm, Wei Yu took the hand that was currently showcasing its massage technique and rolled up the sleeve of the inner robe. The hideous scar was still there.

Qin Ji lowered the sleeve and withdrew his hand with a smile. “What’s there to see?”

Wei Yu said, “This is the wound you received for me.”

Qin Ji brushed it off. “But you also received a wound for me.” He tapped just below Wei Yu’s left shoulder. “The scar there hasn’t even faded yet.”

Wei Yu laughed softly. “What are we even doing?” A pair of casualties?

Qin Ji continued the massage. “Does it matter? It doesn’t matter. Come, come, continue feeling my massage, and give me a review later.”

Wei Yu never got to give the review. Qin Ji’s massage was so comfortable that he fell asleep right then and there.

Qin Ji carried Wei Yu ashore. Wei Yu, in a daze, took off his wet inner robe, changed into his nightgown, and was taken back to bed by Qin Ji. Now that Qin Ji could openly hold Wei Yu to sleep, he truly pushed his luck. Even though the bed was wide enough for two quilts, he only used one, pressing himself tightly against Wei Yu.

While Wei Yu was unconscious with sleep, Qin Ji acted “wickedly,” pecking Wei Yu’s forehead again and again. He kissed him so much that Wei Yu became annoyed and even tried to slap him in his sleep to make him behave. Only then did Qin Ji stop his “fanboy” behavior.

The night was without wind or rain, a night of peaceful sleep.

The next day, Qin Ji had to go dig the earth. The fact that he didn’t have to wear formal robes to dig was probably the best news for him. He tucked a corner of his robe into his waist, shouldered his hoe, and headed toward the fields. If he had a piece of foxtail grass in his mouth, the picture would have been perfectly harmonious.

Wei Yu was very interested in watching Qin Ji dig and followed along. Bai Lu put a cloak on him so he wouldn’t be cold even if the wind blew.

Qin Ji was a bit uncomfortable being surrounded by a large crowd while he dug, especially with a ritual official reciting praises to the land. Once the official finished, Qin Ji began digging, using the method the old farmer had taught him yesterday. Lift, drop, pull—Qin Ji slowly became immersed in the process.

Unknowingly, the sun drifted toward the center of the sky. Qin Ji had dug the designated patch of land until it was soft and loose, ready for planting seeds immediately. He tossed the hoe to Gao Huan and ran to Wei Yu to seek praise, just as he had at the hunting grounds.

Wei Yu used his own handkerchief to wipe the sweat from Qin Ji’s face. “Why so fast?” No one would have dared criticize him if he had dug slower. Besides, the Emperor wasn’t an actual farmer; the Spring Rite was just a ritual, no matter how significant. Qin Ji was such a fool to actually finish the work so earnestly.

“This speed is fine, I’m not tired.” Qin Ji didn’t push himself; he wasn’t the fat man he was when he first translocated. The shape of his abdominal muscles was starting to show. His six-pack would be back soon! Qin Ji swore secretly that he had to train his abs well—otherwise, what if Wei Yu touched them and found the texture lacking?

After digging came the fishing, which was much easier. A group of professional fishermen assisted Qin Ji in pulling the nets. As long as Qin Ji didn’t fall into the lake, nothing could go wrong. The fishing was scheduled for the second day. Qin Ji was quite interested and personally caught several fat fish. He picked one and sent it to the chef, ordering it to be served for lunch.

The scenery of the imperial manor was beautiful, so Qin Ji stayed for a few more days, taking Wei Yu to the peach blossom forest. The peach blossoms stretched out in a vast expanse, visible from afar as an infinite sea of pink. Qin Ji’s meager vocabulary of poetry managed to cough up a line: “Human faces and peach blossoms reflect each other in red.”

No, Wei Yu was more beautiful than the peach blossoms.

“Qin Ji.” Wei Yu walked through the forest, using his cloak to catch a pile of peach blossoms blown down by the wind. He held them in his palms and blew them toward Qin Ji.

Petals fell like rain.

Across the scattered petals, Qin Ji caught Wei Yu’s waist and leaned down to kiss him. He couldn’t hold back anymore; whether the great beauty wanted to hit or kick him, he would be reckless just this once.

Wei Yu was dazed by this sudden kiss. It wasn’t until his lips and tongue were thoroughly teased that he clutched Qin Ji’s clothes and closed his eyes tight. Amidst the flying pink petals, something progressed a step further.

Qin Ji had worried too much; after his intense kissing, Wei Yu’s body and legs were so soft that he basically collapsed against him, having no strength left to hit or kick.

“Don’t you ever need to breathe?” Wei Yu glared at Qin Ji.

Qin Ji: “I… I did.”

Wei Yu: “???” He thought Qin Ji was talking nonsense.

Seeing Wei Yu’s disbelief, Qin Ji explained, “I breathe while kissing; it doesn’t interfere.”

Wei Yu: “…Never mind.” Who told him he didn’t know how to breathe while kissing? In the end, this rogue Qin Ji was one step ahead.

The entire Spring Rite lasted until the end of the third month before Qin Ji headed back. Upon returning to the Ziji Palace, Qin Ji became a spinning top again, and even the daily tutoring sessions with Wei Yu were reinstated. Fortunately, he could kiss Wei Yu from time to time; a kiss from the beauty filled him with fighting spirit.

Just then, the messenger Qin Ji had sent to Wei Qiong returned, bringing a handwritten letter from Wei Qiong. Qin Ji didn’t handle this in front of Wei Yu, as Wei Qiong was a source of great bad luck.

“Gao De, read to me what kind of bullsh*t Wei Qiong has written.” Qin Ji handed the letter to Gao De.

Gao De: Your Majesty, how can you use such crude language?! His mood was complicated; was Wei Qiong’s influence really that powerful?

With a heavy heart, Gao De opened the letter and read it to Qin Ji. After listening, Qin Ji roughly understood. Wei Qiong claimed that Wei Wuxia had come with the noble intention of a marriage alliance between the two countries and shouldn’t be suffering in Qin. Essentially, he accused Qin Ji of being unkind and unjust, refusing to trade three cities for the return of the Wei delegation.

Ha! The delegations of other countries are already home, yet yours is still detained in Qin eating our grain, and you dare to insult me implicitly?

“Go tell those people at the hostel that it’s not that I won’t let them go home, but that their Emperor lacks sincerity,” Qin Ji laughed. “And cut their food and expenses by half.” They were all Wei ministers and a Princess Royal; let’s see if they could endure a life without delicacies.

Qin Ji wasn’t in a hurry. He had previously written to Zheng Lu, who would surely take action. He would wait a bit longer for Wei Qiong’s next letter, then take Wei Yu on a boat trip toward the border.

“Still, I find it hard to swallow this. That b*stard Wei Qiong has the nerve to scold me? He should look at his own conduct.” Was Qin Ji someone who could be scolded freely? Absolutely not.

He gave Chen Xuanwen some work to do: send secret guards to the Kingdom of Wei to spread the stories of Wei Qiong’s “brilliant deeds.” First abandoning his brother, then abandoning his sister—Wei Qiong was the truly unkind and unjust one. Moreover, only by making this known to everyone in Wei could he ensure Wei Yu’s safety. If anything happened to Wei Yu when he returned home, people would suspect Wei Qiong.

His great beauty must never be wronged! Hmph!