Saving My Life By Simping For My Empress - Chapter 25

Chapter 25: Wei Yu gently took Qin Ji’s hand, pressed his face against it, and rubbed it softly.

In March, there was a scheduled Spring Hunt. Before the hunt, the envoys from various nations were to return to their home countries, carrying rewards from Qin Ji.

The State of Boli was very discerning and had won Qin Ji’s favor. Consequently, he added extra items to their gift list drafted by the Ministry of Rites. He even wrote a letter to the King of Boli, highly praising the envoys’ performance, hinting that the Emperor of Qin was very satisfied with their conduct.

As for death-seeking small nations like the State of Duogua, Qin Ji flatly denied them any rewards. He wrote a warning letter to the King of Duogua: if they ever thought of “selling daughters for glory” again, they could test the iron hooves of the Qin cavalry. Offending him repeatedly—did they really think he had no temper?

However, Qin Ji gave a separate reward to the young girl, Aurora. Her accidental remark during his scheme against Qu Tingquan had been helpful. Qin Ji didn’t hold back on a thank-you gift. Moreover, since she failed to enter the Qin harem, Qin Ji worried her father might cause her trouble; this gift served as a protective hint.

“That King of Duogua is truly cold-hearted, sending such a young child out as a tool,” Qin Ji grumbled. He still couldn’t understand it—did he look like a pedophile who would lay a hand on a child?

“Since ancient times, royal families have often been heartless. You know this,” Wei Yu said.

“Don’t use this chance to dump your medicine!” Qin Ji was quick to stop Wei Yu from pouring the tonic into a potted plant. “Pour any more and this tree will be ‘supplemented’ to death by you.”

Wei Yu argued righteously, “How many days have I been drinking this bitter stuff? There’s no need to keep supplementing.”

Qin Ji brought out preserved fruits and sugar, placing them before Wei Yu. “Be good. You can eat these after you drink the medicine.”

Wei Yu rubbed his forehead. Had Qin Ji forgotten? He was twenty, not ten. Why did he always use this tactic?

“I’m not drinking it,” Wei Yu said, defiant unto death.

Qin Ji held up a finger. “This is the last bowl. If you drink it, I won’t make you take medicine anymore. Be obedient.”

Wei Yu: “Truly?”

Qin Ji: “Of course truly!”

Fine. Wei Yu picked up the dark medicinal broth, frowned, closed his eyes, and gulped it down. Qin Ji swiftly stuffed a preserved fruit into his mouth to suppress the bitterness.

Wei Yu, mouth full of fruit, pushed Qin Ji away. “Your Majesty, go back to your work. I’m going out for a stroll.”

Qin Ji’s face fell. “Fine…”

Too painful, it’s just too painful, he thought. When will Prince Cheng’s grandchild grow up? This Emperor’s 9-9-6 (or rather 5-9-0-0-7) schedule… I’d rather let the kid do it.

The infant still in the wet nurse’s care: “???”

…

Qin Ji went back to pondering gifts for the nations. Gifts represented diplomatic relations; he couldn’t just leave it to the old fossils in the Ministry of Rites. Besides, how could those sticks-in-the-mud compare to his level of sarcasm?

“Gao De, where did you put that ‘Three Ruyis of Fortune, Prosperity, and Longevity’ that bastard Wei Qiong sent?” A spark of inspiration hit Qin Ji.

Gao De: “Back to Your Majesty, I put them in a corner of the warehouse.” Such insulting items didn’t deserve a prominent spot.

“Find a box for them. When a messenger goes to the State of Wei, I want them to return the Ruyis to Wei Qiong.”

Disgusting people? Anyone can play that game. With Wei Qiong’s explosive temper, he probably wouldn’t be able to endure it as well as Qin Ji had.

Gao De: “…Yes.” How did the Emperor become so deviously wicked? Gao De was very confused.

…

Wei Yu went back to the bedchamber, picked out one of Qin Ji’s robes to wear, fastened his cloak, and left Ziji Palace.

“Where is the Prince going? Shall I call for a carriage?” Gao Huan followed immediately.

Wei Yu: “No need, just walking. Little Gao-gonggong, if it’s convenient, would you accompany me?”

Gao Huan: “The Prince’s words flatter me too much.” Though not as relied upon as his master Gao De, he was still a person of status before the Emperor. If the Emperor liked Wei Yu, he would naturally respect him.

Wei Yu took Gao Huan along. Chen Xuanwen met them outside. Qu Tingquan was imprisoned in the same palace dungeon where the previous two assassins were held.

“Commander Chen, are you ready?” Wei Yu smiled at him.

Chen Xuanwen: “Does the Prince truly want to do this?”

Wei Yu nodded. “Yes. My mind is made up; I won’t change it.”

He had deliberately sent Bailu away so that Qu Tingquan could successfully “injure” him. If Bailu were there, Qu Tingquan wouldn’t even be able to touch a hair on his head.

…

Wei Yu followed Chen Xuanwen into the dungeon. Gao Huan felt something was wrong. “Prince, why go to such a filthy place? Let’s go back; don’t dirty your eyes.”

Wei Yu ignored him and instead asked for a favor. “Little Gao-gonggong, once we are down there, do not call me ‘Prince’.”

Gao Huan was sharp; he knew Wei Yu was up to something and tried even harder to stop him. “Prince, let’s go back. His Majesty wouldn’t want to see you take risks. Why bother?”

Wei Yu: “This isn’t just for His Majesty.”

It was also for himself. He was loved by Qin Ji but could give him nothing in return. Providing Qin Ji with a legitimate excuse to pressure the State of Wei with military force was the only thing he could do right now. Furthermore, only by putting pressure on Wei could he find out why Wei Qiong treated him that way once he eventually returned.

“Commander Chen, let’s go down.” Wei Yu stepped into the dark passage.

The underground area was dim, lit only by a few flickering wall lamps. Wei Yu pulled up the hood of his cloak, obscuring his face, and sat at the edge of the shadows.

“Qu Tingquan, commit suicide to atone for your crimes,” Wei Yu said, his voice low—perfectly mimicking Qin Ji’s voice.

Vocal mimicry was something Wei Yu had learned for fun as a child when a troupe performed for his late mother. He never thought he’d use it like this.

Hearing “Qin Ji’s” voice, Qu Tingquan jumped up despite his chains. “Qin Ji, do not push people too far!”

Wei Yu continued, “You were so insolent in the Qin Palace. Letting you kill yourself—is that not a dignified death?”

Qu Tingquan: “I did nothing to that maid! You framed me! Qin Ji, you vicious tyrant!”

A flash of ruthlessness crossed Wei Yu’s eyes under the hood. Qu Tingquan shouldn’t call Qin Ji a tyrant. Qin Ji is good.

“Insolent! One more word and I’ll pull out your tongue!” Chen Xuanwen stepped forward and kicked Qu Tingquan to the ground.

Wei Yu raised a hand to stop him. “Don’t kick him. Give him the dagger.”

Chen Xuanwen took a breath, drew a dagger from his waist, and tossed it before Qu Tingquan. Gao Huan’s eyelids winced.

Qu Tingquan looked at the dagger. “I am an envoy of Wei! If you kill me, do you intend to start a war?”

Wei Yu gave a faint, mocking laugh. “Do you think Wei Qiong would go to war with Qin for you?”

Qu Tingquan realized he couldn’t escape. He thought Qin Ji had come personally to ensure his “suicide.” He refused to go down without a fight. He grabbed the dagger and, with all his strength, lunged at Wei Yu!

Wei Yu didn’t dodge. He took the blade. However, he didn’t gamble with his life; the dagger hit his shoulder blade, missing vital organs.

Chen Xuanwen immediately kicked Qu Tingquan away and used a chain to choke him. Qu Tingquan was still cursing: “Qin Ji, you will die a horrible death!”

Gao Huan tremblingly supported Wei Yu. “Prince… let’s go back to Ziji Palace, call the physician…”

Wei Yu threw back his hood and stood up, ignoring the knife still stuck in him. “Qin Ji will live for ten thousand years. You are the one who will die horribly,” he said coldly.

Qu Tingquan turned pale. “Second Prince?”

“Why are you doing this? You are a Prince of Wei!”

“When my father was on the throne, I was a Prince. Now that he is gone, I should be a Prince-Regent of Wei,” Wei Yu tilted his head. “In such an irrational situation, has no one in Wei spoken up?”

He closed his eyes and raised his head proudly. “Gao Huan, we are returning to Ziji Palace.”

…

In the study, Qin Ji heard the news of Wei Yu’s injury and dropped his brush in shock. “Another assassin?”

Gao De, with a bitter face, said, “Not an assassin. If Your Majesty goes to see the Prince, you will understand.”

Wei Yu had returned to the bedchamber, pale and leaning against the bed. When Qin Ji arrived, the physician was already there. “Prince, pulling the knife will hurt. Please bite down on this handkerchief.”

Qin Ji almost had a heart attack seeing the knife. He sat by the bed and grabbed Wei Yu’s hand. “If it hurts, squeeze me.”

Wei Yu bit the silk and gave a weak smile. As the physician pulled the blade, Wei Yu broke into a cold sweat, his grip on Qin Ji’s hand tightening as muffled groans escaped his lips. Tears slid down his face.

The physician worked quickly, applied medicine, and wrapped the wound. “Your Majesty, the wound must not touch water. I will come daily to change the dressing.”

“Good. Thank you, Physician.” Qin Ji breathed a sigh of relief.

Once they were alone, Qin Ji was fuming. “Wei Yu, you’d better give me a good explanation!”

Wei Yu’s bloodless lips parted. “Your Majesty… it hurts so much.”

Qin Ji’s anger got stuck in his chest. He couldn’t go up or down. “You really are…” He couldn’t find a word to describe him.

Wei Yu tugged at Qin Ji’s robe. “Don’t be angry. If you are angry, I will be unhappy.”

What else could Qin Ji do? He had to let his anger dissipate. Wei Yu gently took Qin Ji’s hand, pressed his face against it, and rubbed it. “Qin Ji,” he called softly.

“Fine,” Qin Ji helped him lie down. “Just rest quietly.”

…

Qin Ji left the room to get the full story from the attendants. He had arranged for Bailu to protect him—how could he get hurt?

“Qin Ji, don’t leave yet,” Wei Yu called him back.

Wei Yu knew he had caused a mess. If Qin Ji punished Chen Xuanwen or the others, it would be his fault. He decided to confess everything.

“I intentionally sent Bailu away, found Chen Xuanwen, and tricked Gao Huan into coming with me to see Qu Tingquan.” He grabbed Qin Ji’s sleeve first. “I lured Qu Tingquan into thinking I was you, so he would stab me.”

Qin Ji’s head throbbed. “Why do this? If I wanted to kill him, I didn’t need such a drastic reason! Did you ever think about what I would do if something happened to you?” This was the first time he’d loved someone; he hadn’t even had a chance to date him properly yet.

“I knew I wouldn’t die,” Wei Yu’s eyes were clear. “Qin Ji, I wore your everyday robes. Now that robe is stained with blood—it is proof that Qu Tingquan tried to assassinate the Emperor. Whatever you want to do to Wei now, you have the moral high ground.”

Qin Ji said fiercely, “I just want to kidnap this person named Wei Yu and make him my ‘Bandit Queen’!”

Wei Yu smiled faintly. “Don’t punish Chen Xuanwen and the others. If you want to punish someone, punish me first.”

Qin Ji: “How could I bear to punish you?” He finally saw it—Wei Yu only dared to be so reckless because he knew Qin Ji was hopelessly devoted to him! “If you were a ten-year-old kid, I’d definitely spank you!”

Wei Yu thought about it. “If you’re really that angry, once my wound is healed, you can spank me to vent.”

Qin Ji: “…”

“Qu Tingquan isn’t dead yet, right? I’m going to vent on him!” Qin Ji couldn’t take it anymore. “You stay here and heal. You just stopped taking medicine today, and now you have to start again. Happy? Believe it or not, I’ll confiscate all your candy!”

Unfortunately, the threat lacked any bite. Wei Yu just smiled at him, and Qin Ji admitted defeat.

…

Qin Ji followed through. He issued a decree: Qu Tingquan had attempted to assassinate the Emperor and was granted poison to commit suicide. He also broadcast the news. Within a day, the whole capital knew that the Wei envoy had insulted a palace maid and then stabbed the Emperor on his birthday.

With this reputation, if Qin Ji sent troops to Wei, no other nation would help Wei. You brought this on yourself. He detained the entire Wei delegation; if they wanted to go back, Wei had to pay a ransom.

Many Qin generals requested to go to war, but Qin Ji suppressed them. Having General Zheng Lu at the border was enough. He didn’t actually want war—it was hard on the people and the treasury.

Instead, he threatened Wei Qiong: he wanted the three cities Wei had traded for Wei Yu back in exchange for Princess Wei Wuxia and the others.

…

Qin Ji returned to the bedchamber. Wei Yu couldn’t sleep because of the pain and was being lectured by Bailu.

“Prince, you cannot disregard your own life. His Majesty cares for you deeply.” “Getting hurt is painful. Look, you can’t sleep. You can’t do this again.” “Actually, from now on, no matter how you try to send me away, I won’t listen. You have no credibility left with me.”

“Your Majesty, please tell Bailu to leave. My ears are growing calluses from her nagging,” Wei Yu pleaded.

Qin Ji: “Heh, I won’t.” Wei Yu: “…”

Qin Ji joined in. “Bailu, keep going. I’m listening too.” “Exactly,” “Well said,” “Very logical,” Qin Ji added.

Wei Yu felt like he suddenly had a mother and a father. Surprisingly, Bailu’s endless nagging distracted him from the pain, and he eventually drifted off.

…

After Wei Yu fell asleep, Qin Ji talked with Bailu outside. “I won’t punish you,” Qin Ji said. If he did, he’d lose his chance to date Wei Yu. “Shall I go to Wei and assassinate Wei Qiong for the Prince?” Bailu offered. Qin Ji: “No need. Wei Qiong shouldn’t die at our hands.” He wanted the people of Wei to drown Wei Qiong in spit once the truth came out.

Qin Ji was focused on the people’s livelihood. He wanted to make them rich, not conquer the world. “Go watch over Wei Yu. If he wakes up in pain, distract him.”

Qin Ji then went to the kitchens. For dinner, Wei Yu was served blood-nourishing foods: black chicken soup with red dates, stir-fried pig liver, and red date tea.

Wei Yu: “Your Majesty, I want to eat the dish in front of you.” Qin Ji smiled. “No. You’re injured; no spicy food.” Wei Yu: “Just a taste.” Qin Ji used all his willpower: “Not even a bite.” He had the servants remove the dish. “From now on, I will eat light food with you until your wound heals.”

Wei Yu looked at him and realized that while Qin Ji seemed silly sometimes, he had incredible perseverance. From being illiterate and ignorant of politics to his current state—he was taking the shape of a wise ruler.

“Then it’s a deal. You must eat light food with me.” Qin Ji: “A word once spoken cannot be taken back. If I lie to you, I’m a dog.”

Gao De watched from the side, thinking: Before even winning the Prince over, the Emperor is already so accommodating. If the Prince ever becomes the Empress, what will happen then? He truly was a “love seed” (romantic), just like the late Emperor.