Resisting Arranged Marriages: Starting with Myself - Chapter 17

The next morning, the headache had vanished without a trace. However, the various suspicions that had sprouted the previous night remained like a lingering shadow, refusing to dissipate.

When he arrived at the recording studio, Xiang Nan spotted his abnormality at a single glance.

“What is going on?” he asked, his brow furrowed with worry. “Did you not talk to him?”

Le Xiao sat there with two massive dark circles under his eyes, looking completely listless. “How am I supposed to ask that?”

Asking Ye Jiming whether he loved him felt harder than dying. How could he possibly bring it up? Furthermore, with the seeds of doubt already planted, he found himself not even wanting to know the answer.

Just as he did not want to know the true reason why Ye Jiming had kissed his forehead after he had fallen asleep. He was afraid of hearing Ye Jiming say he loved him, but he was even more terrified of hearing that he did not.

His current state made Xiang Nan shake his head in frustration. “Suit yourself then.”

Le Xiao’s face was dejected, and his voice sounded hollow as he tried to offer comfort. “It is fine. I will not let it delay the work.”

“Heh,” Xiang Nan gave a cold laugh and ignored him.

Just as Xiang Nan expected, Le Xiao spent the entire day working with the producer eight hundred times over with zero progress. Even the producer, who had collaborated with him for a long time, had never seen him like this and was being driven to a headache. “Xiao Xiao, is this not supposed to be a sweet little song? Is the melody not a bit too gloomy?”

“Let me try again,” Le Xiao said, playing another string of notes.

Seeing the producer shake his head solemnly once more, Le Xiao let out a long sigh and slumped over the piano like a corpse, unmoving.

“Do you have any sad songs?” the producer asked helplessly.

Le Xiao shook his head, and the piano keys emitted a low, sighing sound. At the thought of his own sorrows, his inspiration had completely dried up.

It is all Ye Jiming’s fault, he thought gloomily. Then, he desperately wanted to slap himself. Stop thinking about him!

The Silent Supermarket

The weekend arrived as scheduled, and it was soon the morning of the shoot.

“Perfect Weekend” was, naturally, arranged entirely by the guests themselves. Le Xiao had absolutely no interest in it, so Ye Jiming took charge of everything. The first stop of the weekend was the supermarket.

Le Xiao wore an off white hoodie and a black mask, wandering around while pushing a shopping cart. He lacked any idol baggage as he draped half his body over the cart, his arms propped on the handle. With a little effort, he let the cart carry him along, the wheels clattering against the supermarket floor tiles.

His hoodie was a bit large, in the currently popular oversize style, making him look even smaller, like a child who had stolen an adult’s clothes. Combined with his childish movements, he looked unexpectedly cute. Like a lazy koala.

Ye Jiming walked ahead of him in a long black trench coat, which emphasized his tall stature and elegant demeanor. He bent down to select fruits and vegetables, looking back occasionally to confirm if Le Xiao was following.

When their gazes met, Ye Jiming smiled at him before turning back to find the next item on the list.

What are you doing? Le Xiao grumbled internally. Are you pretending to be affectionate again?

However, the monitor on his wrist began to vibrate for no reason.

Mindless thing, Le Xiao transferred his resentment to the monitor and covered it with his hand. “Stop vibrating.”

The monitor could not understand him, nor would it listen. It continued to emit a persistent buzz. From the distance, Ye Jiming’s voice called out, “Xiao Xiao.”

Le Xiao sighed as if resigning himself to fate and pushed the cart faster to catch up.

The Weight of Pretense

After buying their items and checking out, Ye Jiming carried two large bags of groceries while Le Xiao followed behind carrying only one small bag. They headed toward the parking lot together.

Ye Jiming spoke as they walked. “The groceries we bought this time are enough for a week. Usually, when I am not home or working late, just call the auntie to come over and cook, okay? Do not skip dinner; it is bad for your health. You can also have her prepare the next day’s lunch at the same time so you can just heat it in the microwave.”

He continued nagging, looking back at Le Xiao, who followed with a lack of interest. “Xiao Xiao?”

“I heard you! You are so wordy.” Le Xiao’s voice carried an ill tempered tone, and his brow furrowed unconsciously.

Ye Jiming gave a somewhat helpless smile. “Xiao Xiao, I was trying to ask if your bag is heavy and if you want me to carry it.”

Le Xiao was momentarily speechless. He looked up at him. Seeing the two huge shopping bags in Ye Jiming’s hands and how the plastic handles were turning his palms red, Le Xiao shook his head.

“It is not heavy. I will carry it myself.”

Ye Jiming did not insist. He smiled and continued walking forward. Le Xiao followed, but his steps grew slower and slower.

Why bother with this hypocritical concern? If you really do not love me, why pretend to care? Is it just because of the cameras?

For the first time, Le Xiao felt that recording the program was exhausting. He had to pretend to be excited and act like they were a sweet, loving couple. Even when it was pouring rain in his heart, he still had to wear a mask of joy and force every cell in his body to pretend to be enthusiastic.

This was even more tiring than the first recording when the two of them were still strangers. He spoke words against his heart, wore a fake smile, and let his body produce reactions he was unwilling to have. Then, in the blind spots of the cameras, they would separate quickly, and the smile would collapse into ruins.

Naturally, his behavior did not escape Ye Jiming’s eyes.

Since the day before yesterday, the day he had finished talking about work with Duan Weiyue and rarely got off work on time, everything had turned strange. However, whenever Ye Jiming tried to ask about the reason, Le Xiao would avoid the subject or even give him the cold shoulder. Once, he had even used the clumsy tactic of pretending to take a phone call to escape Ye Jiming’s concern.

Now, Ye Jiming was almost one hundred percent certain that this was not about a problem at work. After all, if work was going poorly, Le Xiao would not need to treat him with such a defensive attitude. Therefore, it could only be something related to their relationship.

But what could have happened? Ye Jiming was baffled. He believed his behavior lately had been normal and he had done nothing to wrong Le Xiao. So, what caused the attitude of the person who said “I like Ye Jiming” on the phone to suddenly reverse so drastically?

Could it be that he truly did not understand the heart of a young person? He felt quite troubled, feeling for the first time that perhaps he really was getting old. Was he starting to have a generational gap?

The Scarred Hearts

The short walk to the car was filled with heavy thoughts for both of them. It was not until they sat in the car that Ye Jiming forced himself to stop thinking and focus on driving. However, only seconds after starting the engine, a rhythmic alarm sounded in the quiet car.

He turned his head and saw Le Xiao in the passenger seat with hollow eyes, clearly lost in thought. His chest was bare; he had not buckled his seatbelt.

“Xiao Xiao?” Ye Jiming called twice before Le Xiao’s soul finally returned.

“Seatbelt,” he reminded him.

“Huh?”

Seeing Le Xiao’s slow and dazed reaction, Ye Jiming let out a faint smile. He pulled over, stopped the car, and leaned over to pull the seatbelt for him.

The distance between them vanished instantly. By the time Le Xiao fully reacted, his field of vision was completely blocked by Ye Jiming’s tall frame. He was so close that Le Xiao could see the fine hair on his face, his slightly red earlobes, his slender neck under the shirt collar, and a beautiful collarbone.

A dense scent of cedar rushed toward him. The entire process lasted only a few seconds, yet it felt as long as a century. He almost forgot how to breathe.

Then, finally reacting like a cat whose territory had been invaded, he said in an intolerable tone, “What are you doing!”

In an instant, all the pretense shattered. Simultaneously, a click sounded from beside him. The seatbelt had been fastened. He stared blankly at Ye Jiming, who was already sitting back in his own seat. The temperature in Le Xiao’s cheeks began to climb rapidly. It felt as if he had truly done something wrong.

Ye Jiming also looked at him quietly, his demeanor remaining calm as if nothing had happened. After a moment of silence, Le Xiao was the first to speak. “I am sorry. I did not know.”

“No,” Ye Jiming said. “I am the one who should say sorry. I was too abrupt.”

With that, he was the first to look away. He stared straight ahead and placed both hands on the steering wheel. “Let us go.”

He appeared to be acting as if nothing was wrong as he lightly pressed the accelerator and the car moved again. Le Xiao also awkwardly withdrew his gaze, pretending nothing had happened as he looked out the window at the scenery.

There was silence for the rest of the journey. But only they knew that at this moment, both of their hearts were already covered in scars. One was covered in cuts, dripping with blood; the other was tightly bound in hemp rope, nearly suffocating.

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