Pretending To Have A Certain Persona Can Be Tiring - Chapter 1

“Why is this streamer a bottom? What a waste of time. I am leaving.”

The moment the stream started, the first bullet comment of the night rolled across the chat box. Song Yang squinted at the monitor, his knuckles cracking as he thought, “I freaking…”

He swallowed the second half of his curse, forcing himself to hold back. Over the three months he had been a virtual streamer, what kind of toxic comments had he not seen? Bullet comments meant popularity; it was still better than sitting in an empty room alone.

Song Yang considered himself immune to such poison. The most important quality for a streamer was a thick skin; converting haters into true fans through kindness was the only path to long-term success.

So, he counter-attacked by muting, blocking, and reporting the user all at once.

“Get lost,” he spat.

“Conversion through kindness” or whatever else could go to hell. I, the great Song Yang, have hit rock bottom and am already miserable enough; why on earth should I have to swallow my pride?

On the livestream screen was a cute anime character. This was Song Yang’s custom Live2D model, named Ceil. It had fluffy white hair, water-blue eyes, and was meticulously drawn. Its setting was a little ghost that would dissolve into a wisp of smoke when shy.

Song Yang was the person behind Ceil. He did not show his face, choosing instead to broadcast using Ceil’s skin. In other words, he gave Ceil life. His expressions and movements were reflected onto Ceil through motion-capture software, allowing the audience to interact with this anime character by watching him play games and chat. This was the booming new industry of the internet age: virtual livestreaming.

Song Yang glanced at the time; it was already 8:00 PM, and there were only a handful of viewers in the stream.

He cleared his throat, turned on the microphone, and habitually pitched his voice up to a syrupy, cutesy tone: “Hi, good evening. Did you miss me?”

The chat was silent.

“Hmm. Ceil missed you all too. Do you want Ceil to play games or sing tonight? I forgot to tell everyone, but I learned a new song.”

Silence.

“Or listening to ASMR is fine too. Ceil has prepared a gentle bedtime story for everyone.”

Silence.

No one paid any attention to him, but Song Yang was not embarrassed. He clicked on a shooting game on his own. When the audience did not make requests, he usually chose to play games because he could mute his mic—it was less trouble.

[Can the streamer try biting a lighter?]

Song Yang glanced at the chat box, thinking, “I can try biting your brain out.”

The white-haired little boy on the screen blushed, lowering his eyes shyly: “Oh, but Ceil does not have a lighter at home. Time to team up, Ceil is going to mute now.”

The chat scrolled again:

[The streamer is so milky and cute, I want to rub his head.]

Ceil shook his head quickly, acting shy: “No rubbing! If you rub me, I will turn into a wisp of smoke!”

[Still with the ‘le’ sounds. Streamer, can you straighten out your tongue and talk?]

Song Yang thought: “If you are so capable, why do you not use an iron to straighten out my tongue, Daddy?”

Ceil pouted pitifully: “It is so cute though. Do the babies not like it?”

[Ugh, are you a boy or a girl?]

Song Yang thought: “I am a Walmart plastic bag.”

Ceil shook his head: “Ceil is a boy. It is written on the announcement board in the room. Please do not ask such questions!”

[Why do I keep running into these high-pitched male VTubers? My aesthetic has reached fatigue. I would rather watch someone who can sing folk songs.]

Song Yang’s mouth twitched, thinking: “I cannot sing folk songs, but I can twist your central nervous system into a mountain road with eighteen bends.”

Ceil: “If the babies want to hear it, Ceil can go learn it.”

[Cute little bottom, passing by, I am taking a screenshot.]

Song Yang: “…”

As a straight-as-an-arrow, pure masculine man, little Song nearly smashed his keyboard into the monitor.

“I, Song Yang, must have committed countless evils in my past life to end up with this job where I am insulted by everyone!”

After the game started, no one sent bullet comments anymore. Song Yang broadcasted alone for two hours before logging off. After washing up, he sat at the computer to check the analytics. Total views: 2,000. Tips received: four. Fans gained: seven. Fans lost: seven. Damn it, he worked for nothing.

It was such a flop. Cute and soft-voiced streamers did not seem popular with the public anymore. He did not want to be cute or soft-voiced, either. For a pure man, it was a heavy burden of humiliation, but this was the persona the company assigned to him—he had to be cute, gentle, shy, and good-tempered.

Yes, the company. After finishing the college entrance exam, Song Yang had been muddled enough to sign with a VTuber agency. His cousin was one of the investors in this small company; she had used sweet talk to trick Song Yang into this trap.

His cousin’s pitch: “Yang Yang, your voice is so good, it would be a shame not to work in this industry,” “Our new company is short-staffed and urgently recruiting,” “You can make tens of thousands in one stream, and the company only takes a quarter—you will cover your tuition and living expenses and walk towards common prosperity together,” and so on.

And now, Song Yang looked at his thirteen-and-a-half-yuan earnings from tonight’s stream and fell into deep thought.

Song Yang felt he was so easy to trick. He did not know what had gone wrong in his head, but he had signed a five-year contract. If he did not strictly maintain the company-mandated persona, he would face breach-of-contract risks. A fifty-thousand-yuan penalty could easily crush him.

When he first signed, Song Yang was full of energy, wanting to make a name for himself. However, it did not take long for reality to teach him a harsh lesson. The company’s training plan was rough, the persona they gave him was not popular, and the content lacked innovation. Every stream was either a cold flop or met with public disdain.

Still, it was fine. Song Yang was a commuter student at university, renting an apartment to live alone. It was convenient to stream. The KPI of streaming at least twice a week would not delay his studies too much.

“Just endure the insults, treat it as stress-tolerance training. Maybe it will even cure my habit of having a foul mouth and teach me the art of speaking kindly to others.”

Thinking about it this way, Song Yang became optimistic again. Every beginning is hard. Making big money is not easy. Who knows, maybe he would really make it big in the future? Besides, who knew whether the five-year term would end first or the crappy company would go bankrupt? Life is just about enduring; he would eventually see the light.

But, if life could be restarted, he would definitely tell that brainless version of himself from back then: “RUN!”

Song Yang was woken up by his phone ringing in the middle of the night. He rolled over dizzily and reached for his phone. The light from the screen made him squint; in a daze, he caught the caller’s name: Boss Xu.

Song Yang grunted in dissatisfaction and answered the phone weakly: “Hey, Cousin…”

The female voice on the other end sounded unusually excited: “Yang Yang! There is a way out! You are going to be famous!”

“What is on fire…”

“Hey, wake up and listen to me. I just helped you secure a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to become famous!”

Song Yang yawned lazily. He glanced at the time—it was already 1:00 AM—and said impatiently: “What… I have principles. I do not do suggestive content, I do not drink with clients, and I do not do anything illegal.”

Xu Man spat: “What are you thinking, kid? I am helping you pull strings to get a chance to collaborate with a big streamer!”

Song Yang sat up abruptly from his “dream,” but was suddenly hit by a chill from the window. He hugged himself to rub his arms and asked: “What kind of thing?”

Xu Man said: “The company has a new development strategy. Since a dead fish cannot flip itself over, let a big shot drag you up. The person we contacted is a rising star at A-Site who now has 400,000 fans. She is a girl with a ‘mature older sister’ voice named Xiao Dai. Her mature voice is a perfect match for your ‘naive and vulnerable’ voice. A-Site agreed to the collab because they are looking for that miraculous chemical reaction between a mature older sister and a soft, cute bottom…”

“Can you talk normally without insulting people?” Song Yang interrupted when he heard her getting more and more outrageous. “You are the soft bottom; I am a straight man.”

“Fine, fine, straight, straight, straight. So, what do you think?”

Song Yang said: “If there is an opportunity, why would I not take it?”

“OK, the date is tentatively set for next month. Before then, we will arrange a call between you and Xiao Dai. You two can decide on the livestream content. Grasp this opportunity well. If the results are good, she will bring you a lot of traffic. But I will give you a heads-up: failure is normal. Which big streamer in the circle has not struggled for a few years? As long as you work hard, nothing is impossible. When the time comes, you will make tens of thousands in a single stream…”

Song Yang: “Make tens of thousands in one stream, the company only takes a quarter, you get business deals until your hands are soft, achieve financial freedom at a young age, and move towards common prosperity together.”

Xu Man: “How did you know I was going to say that?”

“Which time have you not painted a picture like that? You are a habitual scammer.”

Xu Man: “Anyway, you have been scammed by me more than once. Trust me one more time, it will not hurt you.”

Song Yang: “…”

The autumn in Nanzhou City arrived in a hurry. After a night of rain, the temperature dropped sharply, and the air already carried a chill.

Song Yang closed the windows of his rental apartment tightly and returned to his bed, staring blankly at the chandelier on the ceiling. His thoughts were drifting; he could not tell if he was happy or uneasy.

What was worth being happy about was that a big streamer thought highly of him and was willing to cooperate—it was a rare opportunity, and he should be happy. What made him uneasy was that Song Yang had always felt he was not popular with the audience, and the problem mostly stemmed from his persona. The “cute and soft” persona gave him too many restrictions, making it hard for him to express himself freely. Whether this traffic would bring more praise or more questioning and abuse was an unknown.

However, Xu Man had told him that in the virtual streaming industry, if your persona is not ideal, you have to fake it. If you cannot fake it well, it is a persona collapse, and previous efforts will go down the drain.

He did not expect Xu Man to help him change his persona; he could only pin his hopes on the upcoming collaboration. Although this chance to turn things around was more like a gamble, Song Yang was willing to bet.

He had no classes on Sunday, so the Student Council Literary Department arranged a meeting to discuss the event proposal today.

Song Yang got up to wash up with great reluctance. He looked blankly at the mirror in the bathroom and found that his messy bangs were covering his eyes—it was time for a haircut.

He was 178 cm tall, and his appearance was considered superior—fair skin, distinct and delicate features, and a pair of deer-like eyes that drooped slightly. With very long eyelashes, he looked even more youthful and immature. People around him always said he looked like the “boy next door”; if he just dressed well and got a good haircut, he would surely be surrounded by romantic luck.

Unfortunately, Song Yang felt that as long as he was comfortable living, that was enough. He did not love grooming himself. After washing up, he casually grabbed his hair with his hands to make it fluffy and wrapped himself in a casual windbreaker before going out. At this moment, a message came to his phone:

[Tao Jie: Are you coming, baby?]

Song Yang rubbed his tired eyes and replied:

[Song: Just left.]

The apartment Song Yang rented was not far from C University; it was just two subway stops away. The news of the collaboration last night had caused him to sleep poorly. On the subway, he was yawning repeatedly, his eyelids half-lifted, and he nearly lost his soul.

Entering the coffee shop on campus, Song Yang looked around and saw a striking pink head. He identified it for a few seconds before walking straight over and patting the person on the shoulder. Tao Ziyi’s body stiffened in fright, and his coffee nearly spilled.

“What are you doing! You almost spilled it on my clothes.” Tao Ziyi turned his head to look at him and pushed his hand away. “You finally arrived, my little ancestor.”

Tao Ziyi was Song Yang’s classmate in Class 1 of the Broadcasting major at C University. They had met when moving textbooks, and by chance, they both entered the school student council, naturally becoming familiar with each other.

Song Yang looked at his pink hair and asked: “When did you dye it? I almost did not recognize you.”

Tao Ziyi proudly stretched his neck and curled his pinky finger to tuck his hair behind his ear: “The day before yesterday, how is it?”

Song Yang showed a troubled expression, hesitated for a moment, and commented: “Hmm… very flamboyant.”

“Is that a word of praise?” Tao Ziyi rolled his eyes, then pulled out a chair for him. “Alright, sit down.”

Song Yang sat down. Also at the table was another girl, their group member named Sang Ling. She had shoulder-length hair and round, dark eyes like black grapes. She was also a freshman who had just joined the Literary Department. She was assigned to the same group as Song Yang and Tao Ziyi, and the three of them were writing the proposal for the upcoming school dubbing competition.

“Sorry for the wait,” Song Yang said.

“It is okay, I just arrived not long ago,” Sang Ling smiled. “Song Yang, I just heard Tao Ziyi say you are a commuter student. Does your home live very close to the school?”

Song Yang replied: “No, I live alone in a rented apartment.”

“Why? Is not living in a dormitory better? You could save money too.”

“You do not know, Yang Yang is now a shopping livestreamer—you know, the ‘Not 998, only 9.9, three, two, one, click the link!’ type. Living alone makes it more convenient to stream.” Tao Ziyi looked at Song Yang with an innocent face. “Is this something I can say, baby?”

Song Yang gritted his teeth, cursing inwardly: “You idiot, you have already said it, why bother asking? I really want to put a link on your brain too.”