Pharmaceutical Negotiator - Chapter 22

Upon arriving home, Zhang Sitan took off her high heels and first glanced into the bedroom.

Qi An was indeed still awake, lying on the bed with one leg crossed over the other, a layer of mud mask on her face, opening her mic to play Honor of Kings with Lu Youran.

Hearing the noise, she poked her head toward the door, but immediately the sound “marksman, marksman, go up” came from the phone, so she quickly retracted her head, concentrating on the electronic screen held by her two hands.

Seeing that she was focused on the game, Zhang Sitan did not disturb her further and went to the bathroom to begin her wash up.

The stream of water flowed over her palms, then was cupped and splashed onto her face, washing away various chemical substances. The cleansing balm had a faint papaya scent Zhang Sitan emulsified it in her palm and then gently massaged it in circles around her eyes.

She was accustomed to showering in the morning. After jogging, she would walk back from the gym; her sweat would have subsided, and then a shower would leave her feeling refreshed all day.

Actually, she used to have the habit of carrying her toiletry bag to the gym and showering there after a run. But ever since one time a short, thick, curly, suspicious strand of hair sprayed out of the hairdryer while she was using it, she was disgusted and never showered there again.

After showering and drying her hair, she turned off all the lights in the apartment and entered the bedroom.

In the bedroom, Qi An had finished playing her game, shifted to a comfortable sleeping position, and was now scrolling through Xiaohongshu (Little Red Book).

“Finished playing?” Zhang Sitan lifted a corner of the quilt, asking as she got into bed.

“Mhm mhm.” Qi An rolled over, facing Zhang Sitan’s direction.

The mud mask had been washed off her face, leaving her skin smooth and tender. After wearing makeup all day, there were a lot of impurities left on her face, and now they had all been drawn out.

“You say it or I ask?” Zhang Sitan lay on her side, also facing her.

Her freshly washed hair was soft and smooth; the scent of the shampoo flowed through the strands, spreading across the pillow.

“I… I’ll talk,” Qi An said, afraid that if Zhang Sitan asked, the defense she had prepared would be completely disrupted.

“I had a meal today with Luo Murong and his mother.”

Zhang Sitan looked astonished, but did not interrupt Qi An, patiently listening for her to finish.

“He asked me to pretend to be his girlfriend to have dinner with Zou Le. He said Zou Le knows all his other friends, and I was more suitable. Zou Le is nagging him every day, and he wants some peace and quiet.”

“He bought a Grand Cherokee and paid with his own card. He said once Zou Le reimburses him for the Grand Cherokee, he’ll find an opportunity to tell Zou Le that we’ve broken up.”

As Qi An spoke, she cautiously observed Zhang Sitan’s expression, looking worried.

Zhang Sitan noticed Qi An’s dodging eyes, and after a moment of silence, asked: “The condition was that he had to agree to meet with me?”

“Mhm.” Qi An nodded nervously. On one hand, she felt she should be happy about solving this problem for Sister Sitan, but on the other hand, she felt this whole idea was too embarrassing to admit.

“What was Zou Le’s reaction?” Zhang Sitan asked again.

“He… he seemed quite happy, he didn’t figure out that I was fake.”

“Didn’t you say he was a ‘0’ at the bar last time?”

“Ah.” Qi An froze for a moment, then laughed sheepishly, “I made that up. How could someone tell you they are a ‘0’ the first time you meet them?”

“Then you.” Zhang Sitan paused, a look of struggle appearing on her face.

She wasn’t sure what she wanted to argue about. Qi An pretending to be Luo Murong’s girlfriend was ultimately to help her. If she could meet Luo Murong as soon as possible and finalize the contract, Qi An had done her a great favor.

As for the other awkwardness, she couldn’t quite articulate why it was there.

The two were lying on their sides, facing each other. The bed wasn’t very wide, so they were lying quite close.

On the way home, Zhang Sitan had wanted to ask Qi An what it felt like to like girls. Now that the person was right in front of her, she didn’t know why she suddenly couldn’t bring herself to ask.

“Let’s sleep.” Zhang Sitan turned over and lay flat on her back.

“Oh.”

The cold air from the air conditioner filled the room, dropping little by little and settling over the thin down comforter.

Zhang Sitan raised her hand and pressed the switch by the bed the light silently went out.

The room darkened. Qi An looked at the shadow next to her, deeper than the night, and softly mumbled: “Can’t sleep.”

The sound was so small, like a kitten’s whimper.

Hearing it, Zhang Sitan let out a soft chuckle. Qi An was like a troublemaking child, whining and groaning, huddled up in a small ball.

“You said you’ve never been in a relationship, so how do you know you like girls?”

“It’s… innate, I just know, just like you subconsciously know you like boys.”

Zhang Sitan tilted her head, looking towards the window. The curtains hung down, completely obscuring the night light outside, like a tightly sealed escape.

“I don’t know if I like boys or girls,” she confessed.

“Hey!” Qi An widened her eyes in Zhang Sitan’s direction, but she could only see a dark shadow, the outlines unclear.

“Sister Sitan, haven’t you ever liked anyone?”

“No.”

She had focused on studying during her school years. When filling out college applications, her father tampered with her password, and she felt her life had hit rock bottom. She worked as a server in a hotel for two years, being bossed around every day, and witnessed a lot of human diversity.

Then she took the adult college entrance exam and attended a pharmacy school for three years. The school was chaotic, with social cliques forming gangs, and Zhang Sitan also had to work, so she didn’t spend much time there. She did various internships and odd jobs in pharmaceutical factories, gaining a lot of experience. With good luck, she met Director Zhang.

Thus, she had reached where she was today.

Most of these thirty years of life had been spent in toil, and she had never considered, nor had anyone ever mentioned to her, the words “to like.”

Seeing Su Wei and Zhou Yangle today, she felt emotional. This was perhaps the first time someone treated her as a friend and shared the joy of love with her.

Previously, she had never received such sharing.

So, she had never thought about what “liking” was, nor did she know if she liked boys or girls.

Because she had never experienced the feeling of liking someone.

“Then, have you liked anyone?” Zhang Sitan asked.

“I haven’t liked anyone, but I have someone I like,” Qi An said, choosing her words carefully.

Zhang Sitan immediately turned her head towards Qi An, surprised, and asked: “Who is it?”

“A person.”

“Pfft.” Zhang Sitan chuckled again, “Oh.”

Seeing Zhang Sitan laughing at her, Qi An quickly rolled over and tugged the quilt outwards.

Zhang Sitan found this inexplicable maneuver funny. If you don’t want to say, then don’t; why turn your back to me?

Her soft body sank into the quilt. Zhang Sitan also rolled over, facing Qi An’s side, and reached out a finger to poke her neck.

Feeling the warmth glide across her neck, Qi An shrank her neck and buried her head in the quilt: “What?”

“Tell me, what is the person you like like?” Zhang Sitan leaned closer again.

“No.” Qi An protested.

“Hmph.” Zhang Sitan feigned annoyance, her tone cool. Her cool fingertip once again covered Qi An’s neck, tracing circles.

The coldness made Qi An jump. She abruptly turned around, glaring at Zhang Sitan.

They were so close that Qi An was practically in Zhang Sitan’s embrace. Her head was close to Zhang Sitan’s chin. Qi An kept her arms tucked inside the quilt, not daring to cross the line.

Her breathing was a little unsteady, and she could feel the rise and fall of the other person’s breath. If she wanted to turn back around, it would seem too deliberate.

Zhang Sitan asked her if she had anyone she liked, and Qi An genuinely thought about it.

What had she been doing for the past twenty-three years? Lu Youran was her childhood friend; they grew up playing together, were in the same class until college. They weren’t together in college, but they texted each other every day to complain; it seemed they were rarely out of touch.

They went to arcades together, played video games, Honor of Kings, and watched Thai dramas. Thinking back, she had drifted through these twenty-plus years, and truly hadn’t developed feelings for anyone.

As for why she knew she liked girls, it had to be her enlightenment teacher, known as the Thai Boys’ Love Kingdom, “you deserve to have it.” Qi An and Lu Youran had been following Thai dramas since middle school, both BG (Boy/Girl) and BL (Boy/Love). Thai dramas had a wide scope and wild plots, and the depiction of same-sex love was not as subtle as in domestic shows.

It was open and accepting; you could like whatever you wanted.

So Qi An discovered that while she appreciated handsome men, it was only admiration. But for beautiful older sisters, a somewhat lustful smile would unconsciously appear on her face, and her body would secrete more dopamine.

As she grew older and her thoughts matured, she became even more certain that she only felt attraction towards girls.

Like Zhang Sitan.

Zhang Sitan looked very straight. In Lu Youran’s words, “eyes raised, very, very, very straight…”

And she was her immediate superior; liking her would be very tiring.

Before tonight, Qi An hadn’t felt that she liked Zhang Sitan.

It was just simple admiration, just finding her charming.

But when Zhang Sitan asked her about the person she liked, her mind wasn’t empty; it was completely filled with one voice her own urgently shouting, “Sister Sitan, Sister Sitan.”

Zhang Sitan’s hanging strands of hair, her fingers twisting the button of her clothes, the slender waist that turned in the kitchen, her faint eyes when staring at the computer screen.

And when she called her “Qi An,” her lips moved slightly, the color on her lips like cherry blossoms blooming beneath Mount Fuji, unadorned, pink and lovely.

Qi An mumbled, “I have someone I like.” Her mouth had already confirmed it for her brain ahead of time.

The cold air from the air conditioner continued to sink. The warm air was lifted, burning against the ceiling.

Zhang Sitan looked at Qi An, whose head was buried in the quilt, her short hair clinging behind her ears and fanned out outside the quilt: “What are you spacing out about?”

Hearing the sound, Qi An buried her head deeper. There was another soft mass outside the quilt, close at hand. It was soft and warm to be nestled together, but Qi An dared not touch it.

“I’m sleepy,” Qi An blurted out.

“You just said you couldn’t sleep,” Zhang Sitan scoffed.

The two were nestled together, yet they didn’t feel hot. Perhaps the air conditioner was set low, and the down comforter was light, its smooth fabric cool to the touch.

Qi An didn’t speak, forcefully closed her eyes, and tried to make herself fall asleep.

Zhang Sitan leaned forward again. This time, their skin truly met. Zhang Sitan stretched out her arm from under the quilt, her white, lotus-root-like arm draped over Qi An, patting her like comforting her to sleep, and like a form of reassurance.

Wuwuwu, Sister Sitan, you have no heart. How can you still calmly press closer? Can’t you feel my heart is about to jump out? Lu Youran was right, she’s so straight, so straight that a utility pole would feel inferior.