One Year After Her Sister-In-Law Was Widowed - Chapter 37

Xiao Shuangyu held onto Ji Zhuozhou’s hand firmly, refusing to let go.

Ji Zhuozhou pointed to the phone resting on the nightstand, telling her to reply to her friends’ messages. She also mentioned that she had taken the liberty of answering the phone last night and hoped Xiao Shuangyu wouldn’t mind.

Xiao Shuangyu didn’t mind.

It was her own fault for getting so drunk and having such a fever that she became muddled and forgot things; she had completely forgotten to respond to A-Nan and Nie Siyu. It was a good thing that the call Ji Zhuozhou answered put them at ease.

She didn’t mind that; she was grateful to Ji Zhuozhou.

However, she did mind Ji Zhuozhou’s words.

The sober Xiao Shuangyu had no recollection of saying she wanted Ji Zhuozhou to be her sister last night, but she had never wanted to be Ji Zhuozhou’s younger sister.

Crazy jealousy clouded her mind. The panic and repression of the past two days erupted all at once. She slowly pulled Ji Zhuozhou’s hand toward herself.

“Sister, is it okay if I’m not the younger sister?”

Ji Zhuozhou looked at her in confusion.

She didn’t flinch or look away, staring intensely into those deep green eyes. “Unrelated to Xiao Mingyi, can I just be me?”

“Not Xiao Shuangyu, not Xiao Mingyi’s younger sister, just Lianlian.”

“Can Lianlian like Sister? Can Lianlian be liked by Sister?”

“For however long, for however many years… when Sister no longer thinks about Xiao Mingyi, can you want Lianlian?”

“Lianlian will be good. Lianlian will only ever have Sister. Can Lianlian… can I replace Xiao Mingyi?”

Ji Zhuozhou’s hand was held tight against Xiao Shuangyu’s heart. The intense heartbeat transferred through, thumping loudly.

Every utterance of “Lianlian” sounded like a spoiled child acting coquettishly, but also like a plea.

Looking into those excessively dark and anxious eyes, Ji Zhuozhou unconsciously leaned forward and gently brushed over her eyelashes. Feeling the fuzzy lashes tremble against her fingertip, she reached down and cupped her face.

Ji Zhuozhou said, “Lianlian is Lianlian. You have always been just Lianlian.”

“You are Zhouzhou-sister’s Lianlian-sister. You aren’t just anyone’s sister, and you aren’t Xiao Mingyi’s sister.”

Xiao Shuangyu blinked. Urgency and confusion filled those large dark eyes, as if she hadn’t understood.

Ji Zhuozhou simply pressed her lips against her own. “Would your sister kiss you like this?”

Then she bit down gently. “Would your sister bite you like this?”

Ji Zhuozhou pulled the hand that had been held to Xiao Shuangyu’s heart back to her own, pressing it gently against her softness. “Would your sister let you touch her?”

Ji Zhuozhou’s hand guided hers downward, resting on the hem of her nightgown. “Would your sister do it with you?”

Ji Zhuozhou didn’t move away. Her soft breath fell on her neck and by her ear.

Xiao Shuangyu’s face turned red.

She shook her head. “No.”

Raising her gaze from where her hand had fallen, her voice was heavy and muffled. “I only do it with Sister. Everything, I only do with Sister.”

Her jealousy was still burning fiercely. She carefully reached out to pull Ji Zhuozhou into her arms. “Sister, need me. Need me more. Need only me.”

She buried her face gently into the crook of Ji Zhuozhou’s neck. The intense scent of rain and mist swirled around her nose. A pair of hands settled gently on her back.

Ji Zhuozhou slowly patted her.

Xiao Shuangyu went to wash up.

Fortunately, there was a shower in the TH Bar lounge. Performance was also a form of physical labor; they were rarely refreshed after finishing a show and usually had to change out of their costumes and rinse off before doing anything else.

Because she had moved into Ji Zhuozhou’s home, Xiao Shuangyu had brought all her costumes to TH Bar. Every time she showered, she washed them as well before changing back into the clothes she had worn there.

So, Xiao Shuangyu’s body was relatively clean, though the clothes she changed back into had been worn outside.

Lying directly on the bedsheets—or rather, the mothers’ bedsheets—wearing such clothes was not allowed in the villa on the outskirts of the city.

She had remembered this clearly since she was very small, even though she had never been allowed to step into the mothers’ room again after being scolded.

Xiao Shuangyu washed thoroughly and changed her clothes. She also stripped Ji Zhuozhou’s sheets and duvet covers and stuffed them into the washing machine. Listening to the rushing water, she finally relaxed.

Ji Zhuozhou’s voice sounded behind her. “Lianlian, why did you go and strip the sheets already? Does your head still hurt?”

Xiao Shuangyu turned around and saw Ji Zhuozhou, who had already tied her hair behind her head.

The ends of her hair hung in front of her over her dark green dress, making her look like someone who had stepped out of a painting.

Xiao Shuangyu shook her head, though her head still had a dull ache. “I’m fine now.”

This was the lingering pain left over after the alcohol, high fever, tears, and nightmares of the night. Even though she had received an injection and was mostly better, it hadn’t completely vanished.

Xiao Shuangyu hadn’t noticed it at all while she was on the bed, but when she got up, she felt unsteady. She nearly fell back down, which was when Ji Zhuozhou discovered it.

However, since it wasn’t a major issue, Ji Zhuozhou still agreed to let her go and wash up properly.

Before she had even entered the bathroom, the cooking auntie had arrived. She was currently in the kitchen, and in the gap between their conversation, the sound of sizzling hot oil could be heard.

Xiao Shuangyu instinctively looked that way. Ji Zhuozhou looked over immediately and said softly, “That should be the last dish. Let’s go over.”

Xiao Shuangyu nodded and followed Ji Zhuozhou to the dining room.

The auntie worked quickly. She skillfully tossed the wok a few times and soon brought the final stir-fry to the table. Then, she quickly cleaned up and left, waving goodbye to them with a beaming smile.

The dishes were very light—even the flavor was lighter than usual.

Tasting the food, Xiao Shuangyu suddenly wondered if her sense of taste was suffering from some side effects. Thinking about it, she felt it shouldn’t be the case. She looked up at Ji Zhuozhou. “Did Sister ask the auntie to cook something lighter?”

Ji Zhuozhou understood her confusion. “Yes. Is it too bland?”

Xiao Shuangyu shook her head. “No. I thought I couldn’t taste anything. Does Sister find it unpalatable?”

Ji Zhuozhou also denied it. “I think it’s fine too. It’s just that the auntie seems to have misunderstood.”

Xiao Shuangyu showed a hint of confusion.

Ji Zhuozhou glanced at the balcony where the washing machine was still spinning the sheets and covers. She brought her gaze back to Xiao Shuangyu. “Let’s stick to light food for today. Lianlian, get well soon.”

Xiao Shuangyu nodded blankly, but then it dawned on her.

No wonder the auntie had that expression when she left. Did she think they were going through a “special period” together?

Xiao Shuangyu lowered her head, stuffing her cheeks full.

She didn’t hate such a misunderstanding.

What an intimate misunderstanding.

Before her body had fully recovered, the fire named jealousy had already faded and vanished under Ji Zhuozhou’s gentle comfort.

The conversation before leaving the bed had made it very clear: Xiao Mingyi would no longer stand between her and Ji Zhuozhou.

Now, what Ji Zhuozhou saw was no longer the younger sister of her late wife, but her—Lianlian.

Even though her head was still a bit heavy, Xiao Shuangyu was in a great mood, and her body felt as if it might float away.

However, in the afternoon, despite feeling quite energetic, Xiao Shuangyu did not go out for the regular Saturday afternoon rehearsal.

Ji Zhuozhou even had half a mind to stop her from going to the evening performance.

But Xiao Shuangyu went anyway.

Even if she didn’t remember what happened after coming home last night, the memory of her crying in front of A-Nan and Nie Siyu remained clear.

The worry of those two had already overflowed the screen. She felt she had to go meet them, even if she didn’t go on stage with them.

In any case, this whole thing was embarrassing. She didn’t even remember the last time she had cried. Was she seven? Or five?

Xiao Mingyi, who was born before her, was simply too outstanding. As a result, Xiao Shuangyu’s inadequacy caused Mother Xiao Jining to suffer from a mental breakdown and depression, and made Mother Su Yuran feel ashamed and lose face. No one wanted to see her, and certainly no one wanted to see her tears.

Tears were useless; she had learned to be silent.

The silent Xiao Shuangyu had shed an excessive number of tears last night in silence, seen by A-Nan, Nie Siyu, and Ji Zhuozhou.

She still didn’t know how to explain it once she got there; she hadn’t even been able to explain it clearly to Ji Zhuozhou.

It was just so coincidental that when she was in so much physical and psychological pain that she couldn’t bear it, Ji Zhuozhou’s message arrived. She saw it, and her tears fell.

Standing at the door before leaving, she told Ji Zhuozhou, “I’ll be back very, very soon.”

Her dark eyes stared at Ji Zhuozhou with expectation. Ji Zhuozhou met her gaze, her eyelashes crinkling slightly. “I’ll wait for you.”

Those sanpaku eyes narrowed in a smile, hiding the white space beneath them.

As if possessed, Xiao Shuangyu stepped forward and rubbed her forehead against Ji Zhuozhou’s forehead, gently nuzzling her, before turning and running away.

Her ears were already bright red.

The taxi ride to TH Bar took just over half an hour. When Xiao Shuangyu walked into the lounge with red ears that hadn’t cooled down even after thirty minutes, A-Nan and Nie Siyu were already waiting for her.

The two immediately rushed forward to surround her, circling her as they looked her over.

“Lianlian, why didn’t you rest more? Are you better? Is anything else uncomfortable?”

Xiao Shuangyu shook her head.

“Lianlian, you really scared us. We were about to call the police. Luckily your sister replied to us. You’re not allowed to do that again.”

Xiao Shuangyu nodded.

“We haven’t really gone out together since graduation. Let’s go out and have fun next time.”

Xiao Shuangyu was stunned.

“Right, right. We’re busy every day with either work or performing. We’re almost exhausted. Now that Lianlian has stabilized her job transfer, we should go out and celebrate.”

Xiao Shuangyu was dazed.

“By the way, we never heard Lianlian mention having a sister. Is she really your sister? Who else is in your family? We actually didn’t know anything.”

Xiao Shuangyu pursed her lips and only answered the first half. She said, “She’s Sister.”

“There’s a problem here. Lianlian, you’re acting weird. She’s probably not your biological sister, right? Do you like her? Was it her you went to that private kitchen with before?”

Xiao Shuangyu’s ears turned even redder.

“Don’t be shy. That sister sounds very gentle. It’s good, it’s good. We were worried Lianlian would be tricked by some bad woman.”

A-Nan and Nie Siyu didn’t ask about her tears, talking a lot about irrelevant things, full of kindness as they distracted her thoughts.

Xiao Shuangyu averted her gaze from them, her face red, remaining silent.

But Sister is the gentlest sister, she thought.

Meanwhile, on the other side, Ji Zhuozhou, who was the subject of intense discussion, was unaware of this.

Ji Zhuozhou had just hung up a phone call. The expression on her face didn’t look pleasant; her gentle features were tense.

She turned and picked up the photo frame that was face-down on the desk.

In the black-and-white photo, Xiao Mingyi’s smile was bright. The tiny mole on the tip of her nose was full of charm—almost identical to the one on Xiao Shuangyu’s nose, yet entirely different.

She had once placed this photo in the entryway, right across from the door, so that anyone who entered could see it.

But as Xiao Shuangyu came to this house time and time again, this photo had lost its meaning.

She held the photo over the trash can.

Her green eyes were deep, her emotions unreadable.