No One Ever Loved Me - Chapter 39

The Queen quietly watched as I bowed before her.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Countess Linton,” she said.

When I lifted my head, the first gaze I met wasn’t the Queen’s—it was Ricardo’s.

“Your lips are sealed, Ricardo?” the Queen teased.

Without a word, Ricardo stepped forward and handed her a cup of unsweetened tea.

“Just as Grandmother described him,” the Queen said with a satisfied smile to Marchioness Federica after taking a sip.

“Well, I wouldn’t give anything bad to my dear little Martha,” the Marchioness replied, giving Ricardo a subtle nod of praise.

Ricardo remained upright and composed, accepting the compliment with calm grace.

“This is a gift from my husband, Count Linton, to Your Majesty,” I said, holding out the birdcage, carefully avoiding Ricardo’s eyes.

The Queen had more than enough attendants to choose from, yet the one who came forward to accept the gift was Ricardo.

“What a lovely little lark, Your Majesty,” someone murmured.

“Is that so? If you like it, I might gift it to you.”

“No, thank you. I’m not one for keeping live animals,” Ricardo replied politely.

Listening to the exchange, I finally understood the strange feeling I’d had from the moment I arrived.

Ricardo wasn’t just serving the Queen—he was playing a role.

He wasn’t a person to her, but a pet. Perhaps like a well-trained cat—slightly rude, but charming enough to keep attention.

Even Marchioness Federica, who clearly favored him, hadn’t quite treated him like a full person. But the Queen… she went even further.

“So cute. You’d love to go hunting, wouldn’t you? But try to restrain yourself. I’d rather enjoy that pretty face of yours for a bit longer.”

“And here I thought Your Majesty only cared for my looks,” Ricardo answered playfully.

The Queen laughed and reached out to ruffle his hair. Ricardo lowered his head, allowing her to touch him.

With no concern for appearances, she messed up the carefully styled hair he wore.

Despite the stories, the Queen didn’t seem humble or pure.

There was an arrogance about her—something innate, something that clung to her every word and gesture like the natural confidence of royalty.

Maybe Penelope had misunderstood. Or maybe the Queen simply knew how to wear different faces for different people.

I was starting to believe the latter.

“So, you’re Countess Linton?” the Queen said, finally turning her attention back to me—just when I’d begun to wonder if she’d forgotten I was even there.

“Yes, Your Majesty. Cecilia Rosette Linton.”

“Linton… I heard the former Count Linton was quite the mess.”

I knew, instinctively, this was a test.

I couldn’t speak ill of my father-in-law—but lying wouldn’t help either.

“Sometimes, even the best intentions don’t lead to the best outcomes,” I answered carefully.

The previous Count had been a gambler. His idea of ‘effort’ was risking the family fortune at the gaming table.

But if I were to frame it kindly, perhaps he had simply been trying—in his own way—to rescue the family from its financial troubles.

He’d been born a nobleman, after all. The thought of physical labor never even entered his mind.

“The current Count was only able to rebuild the family thanks to his father’s sacrifices,” I added smoothly.

Edgar, having grown up watching his father’s failures, had developed the mindset that wealth could—and should—be taken, no matter the cost.

Ricardo narrowed his eyes, then leaned in and whispered something to the Queen.

“Oh, so Count Linton is that famous singer’s patron?” the Queen said, amused.

She motioned me closer.

I stepped forward.

“Come now, I won’t bite,” she said with a playful tone, perhaps sensing my hesitation. “Unlike Ricardo, I actually enjoy keeping living things close. I find them adorable.”

Up close, the Queen looked no more than five or six years older than me. But the fine lines at the corners of her mouth told me her life hadn’t been easy either.

“Cecilia. May I call you that?”

“It would be an honor, Your Majesty.”

“Jo couldn’t stop talking about you,” she said with a soft smile. “I was curious what kind of woman managed to charm her—she never even dotes on her own daughter like that. But I see it now. You have a kind of rare innocence that’s hard to find these days.”

Innocence?

Where, exactly, had she seen that in me?

I was confident I’d handled myself well—bowing properly, speaking politely, not trembling or flinching.

“Count Linton gave me such a touching gift. Fragile little creatures tend to awaken a desire to protect them.”

“So… the reason you’ve taken a liking to me isn’t because I’m quick and fierce, but because I’m soft and fragile?” Ricardo quipped, smoothly.

“Of course not, Ricardo. You, my dear, are the crown jewel of my delicate little collection.”

The Queen petted him like a prized animal.

But it wasn’t even the kind of attention one might give to a treasured show dog.

No—this felt more like discovering a scruffy stray on the street and being momentarily intrigued by its rough charm.

Is this what’s waiting for me too?

Would I, like him, become nothing more than a pet?

Should I be offended?

I wasn’t sure. I’d long grown used to being treated as less than human.

If anything, perhaps I should see this as a promotion. From dangerous stray to pampered pet.

“Have you ever been on a boat before, Cecilia?”

The Queen asked gently, and I shook my head.

“Regretfully, I haven’t had the opportunity, Your Majesty.”

“Then that’s Count Linton’s fault. You’ve been married for two years and still haven’t been on a boat?”

When I’d first introduced myself, the Queen hadn’t seemed to recognize me.

Now I understood—that had just been an act.

She was not someone to be underestimated.

She had sharper insight than even the seasoned Josephine or Marchioness Federica.

Was it her position as Queen that made her this way? Or had she been born with such instincts and strength, making her the perfect fit for the crown?

Penelope once said it was the Queen’s sincerity and simplicity that won the King’s heart—but the woman sitting in front of me was pure royalty, through and through.

She carried herself as though she were born with a crown on her head, skilled in both commanding people and reading them.

“So, you got tired of waiting for your husband to take you sailing and finally seized the opportunity yourself?”

“I thought two years was long enough to wait, Your Majesty,” I replied, fluttering my lashes a little—imitating Ricardo’s playful elegance.

Not quite as coy, perhaps, but I’d decided I could be a charming cat too.

“Come, sit beside me.”

At her word, a low stool was quickly brought over.

I sat near her knee.

“Tell me a story. Don’t make it up—I don’t expect that from you.”

I blinked, caught off guard.

She was telling me I didn’t need to pretend to be a pet.

Ricardo, on the other hand, was being treated exactly like one.

“Don’t take too long. Your Queen is generous—but I find my patience is wearing thinner by the day.”

Her playful nudge pushed my thoughts in a different direction. What should I say?

“I made a friend recently.”

“A friend?”

“It was a strange way to begin. I reached out for a handshake, and they just stared at my hand. It was awkward, honestly,” I said with a small laugh.

It wasn’t an especially entertaining story, but the Queen listened.

“These last two years of my marriage have felt like darkness—but in just six months, so much has happened. I even discovered some talent.”

“Oh? His Majesty always says the kingdom lacks talent, and you found it in six months?”

As I continued, I mentioned Penelope.

The Queen leaned in, visibly intrigued.

“His Majesty needs people who can look beyond our borders. My expectations weren’t quite so high.”

I described Penelope’s leadership and eye for detail—especially her handling of the banquet.

“I’m fortunate to have someone I can trust to handle the things I cannot.”

“You’re talking about that event, aren’t you?”

Josephine, who had been speaking quietly with Marchioness Federica, cut in with a smile.

“Cecilia was impressive. What was it you said again? Say it one more time.”

I thought for a moment, then repeated it.

“I could, I was allowed to… and I couldn’t find a reason not to.”

The Queen’s smile faded.

“I could, and I was allowed to…”

She wasn’t offended—she was thinking.

“No reason not to,” she repeated.

Even as Queen, there were surely things she chose not to do, believing they were her own decisions.

“That’s quite a bold way to think.”

To me, it had just been something I said in the moment—something that felt right. But in a world as rigidly divided by class and gender as this one, perhaps it sounded refreshingly new.

After a long pause, the Queen had an armchair brought out.

“That stool doesn’t suit you.”

I moved to the chair—the same kind the Queen and Marchioness Federica were seated in.

Now I was no longer looking at the Queen from below, but meeting her eyes at level.

That chair wasn’t just a seat. It was a statement.

Until now, the only ones permitted to sit in those chairs were the Queen and her grandmother.

In other words, the only person the Queen deemed worthy of genuine respect was Marchioness Federica.

And now—me.

She had decided that my thoughts were worth listening to.

She had acknowledged me as someone of value.

“His Majesty would probably call that a dangerous way of thinking. But really, how dangerous can we women be?”

There was a sharp edge hidden in her light tone.

“I suppose the most I’ve done is hire a party planner,” I replied with a faint smile.

From his place nearby, Ricardo glanced up at me, now seated in an armchair.

I wondered what emotion flickered in those golden eyes.

Was it jealousy over the treatment he hadn’t received? Or maybe quiet pride, seeing a friend succeed?

Most likely the former.

Because of the Queen’s favor, I had lost Ricardo’s heart.

And that, I thought, was a good thing.

It was something to be grateful for.

His affection had always felt like too much. Too heavy.

It was bound to fade eventually. This only hastened what was inevitable.

“Shall we board the boat, then?” the Queen asked.

She took Marchioness Federica’s hand with her right, and mine with her left.

“I was wondering when you’d say so. You wouldn’t get up until every last snack was gone, Your Majesty,” Josephine teased affectionately.

The Queen shrugged with a smile.

“The sweets were too good. I only meant to drink tea, but…”

“Oh, when she was a child, she’d finish an entire jar of cookies—ones even sweeter than these.”

“That was long, long ago,” the Queen replied softly.

Compared to Josephine, the Queen was still so young. But it seemed the crown had already stolen away what innocence she once had.

“Let’s see if sailing is still as fun as I remember.”

I walked beside her, arm in arm.

My eyes met Edgar’s from across the way—he was glaring at us.

“What are you staring at, Cecilia?”

“Count Linton, Your Majesty. He looks like he wants to devour me.”

The Queen followed my gaze.

“He’s handsome.”

“Yes. The kind of man you’d easily fall for—if you didn’t know any better.”

“Unfortunately, you’re no longer a girl who doesn’t know any better, are you?”

Unfortunately, the girl Cecilia had once been died before she ever had the chance to grow up.

What Edgar gained instead was a curse that brought misery to everyone around it.

The daughter who ruined her father’s life. The girl who got her mother killed.

And soon, that curse would ruin Edgar too.

“Do what you can—and what you’re allowed to, Cecilia,” the Queen said, finally turning away from Edgar.

She reminded me of Josephine in many ways—except more restrained.

The crown had given her everything. And taken just as much in return.

I was watching her expression when I misstepped.

“Countess Linton.”

A hand reached out from behind to steady my arm.

“Ah, thank you, my lord.”

Our eyes met, just for a second and I froze.

His eyes were filled with joy.

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