My Weekend Lover Turned Out To Be My Boss - Chapter 53

Chapter 53: Child. “The End”

Qiao Xin’s return to the country meant she could visit Qingfan at any time. This was her legal right, and I was powerless to stop her. Helplessly, I picked up my phone. After agonizing hesitation, I finally dialed Feifan’s number. I was desperate; I thought that hearing her voice might temporarily soothe my terror. The crisis facing our family had left me completely at a loss.

After a series of dial tones, a stranger’s voice answered. I leaned against the window, my mind in a swirl. What had Feifan been doing during these days of silence? I knew all her friends, so who was this woman answering her phone? When I questioned her, the woman’s flippant tone sparked a sudden, sharp anger in me.

When the woman uttered the word “hotel,” a sense of despair eclipsed my rage. I had always believed in my choice because You Feifan loved me unconditionally; I had selfishly feasted on her goodness. Yes, I was the one who chose to give up love. When everything eventually comes to light, I will be the heartless one, the one deserving of scorn.

I have always preferred to shoulder every problem alone, hiding them away. My success and my pride wouldn’t allow me to lower myself to ask for help or owe anyone a favor. I have always played the role of the protector from on high, even deluding myself into thinking I could shield everyone—yet I failed to protect Feifan.

She must be punishing me. Her departure is the truest punishment—replacing an old love with a new flame. What right do I have to interfere? Isn’t all of this my own doing? What right do I have to be angry, to resent her, or to blame her? I hung up the phone, my legs giving way until I slid to the floor. I tried to use the wall to stand, only to collapse again.

I crawled across the floor, sobbing. My love was my most failed masterpiece; time and again, I had used it as collateral for profit. After all these years, You Feifan had become my habit. With her, the house was warm and the food was delicious. She allowed me to gallop ahead in my career, yet I never gave her the return she deserved.

Clutching my phone, I lay on the floor in a state of total breakdown. The world was freezing; I had to curl my body into a tight ball. The crying made me dizzy. With a raspy voice, I tried to dial her again, but the call wouldn’t go through. I murmured to the busy signal: “Please don’t do this… The whole world can misunderstand me, but can’t you understand me? Who is she? Where are you? What are you doing? Please, come home, okay? I’ll apologize. I’ll change. Whatever I did wrong, I’ll fix it… I’m so tired, can’t you just hold me? Don’t leave me… please, don’t leave me…”

…

“Phoebe! Wake up!”

I didn’t know how I had fallen asleep. When I opened my eyes, Feijun was kneeling on the floor, patting my shoulder with deep concern. Su Wei walked in shortly after, asking worriedly, “Phoebe, what happened?”

I sat up and looked at them blankly. Feijun frowned. “I saw you hadn’t come down, so I came to check. Why are you sleeping on the floor? Get up!”

I rubbed my forehead and offered a messy explanation. “I’ve probably just been too busy with work lately. I’m exhausted.”

Feijun shook his head and scolded me, “This won’t do. I’ve been busy with my own company lately, but how about I go to Jieshi to cover for you for a few days so you can rest? If it really comes down to it, I’ll call Feifan back.”

As he reached for his phone, I stopped him urgently. “No, don’t.”

“Look at yourself—”

“Brother, I said no!”

“What exactly is going on between you two? Have you… have you broken up?”

“Brother, Feifan and I are fine. You don’t need to worry about me. I’m not a child.”

Feijun had always indulged me. He stood up with a helpless sigh, glanced at Su Wei—likely signaling her to try and talk some sense into me—and left the bedroom in silence. Su Wei sat on the edge of the bed and looked at me calmly. “I know you have things on your mind. You look like this every time you’re hiding something. If you keep too much bottled up, you’re the only one who suffers. You have a whole circle of friends; you can talk to any of us. Don’t keep it all in.

To be honest, with your temperament, only Feifan can put up with you. But have you thought about her? She has her own needs, too. Even if she can’t help with the practical side of things, she is your emotional pillar. Venting your frustrations isn’t a bad thing. She watches the person she loves running around all day, and even when she’s neglected, she endures it. She understands you, and you should understand her. Even if the effort isn’t always 100% equal, love is reciprocal. Talk to her when you have a chance; there’s no obstacle you can’t overcome. Stop trying to carry it all yourself. Let’s go down and eat; everyone is waiting for you in the dining room.”

…

After dinner and seeing our friends off, I took Qingfan back to the bedroom. The little one was working on her math workbook. I watched her scribble numbers with a pencil and helped her with the exercises. During a break, the little one wanted to show off her skills. She tilted her head and shouted, “Mama! I can recite the multiplication table!”

“Didn’t you just learn addition and subtraction?”

“One times one is one, one times two is two… Big Fan taught me. She said if I learned it, I should recite it for Mama, and Mama would say I’m smart.”

I reached out and stroked her head. “You miss Big Fan, don’t you?”

She lowered her head sadly and gave a heavy nod. “When is Big Fan coming back?”

“Very soon. Come, let’s finish these problems. Mama will spend the whole evening with you.”

On a whim, I teased, “Let me ask you, if Mama and Big Fan both fell into the water at the same time…”

As soon as she heard such a boring question, a look of pure disdain crossed her face. “Ugh! Mama, you’re so boring! Big Fan said if you asked that, I should tell you that I’ll sign up for swimming lessons in the summer, and then Big Fan can jump in to save you!”

My nose stung with impending tears. I looked up and sniffled. “Back to your homework.”

She buried her head in her math, then suddenly remembered something. She looked up so fast she almost hit my chin, shouting, “I want candy! Big Fan has a little notebook. Every time I finish my homework, she makes a mark for a candy account. She said it’s for accumulating candy—she already owes me ten lollipops!”

The child must have suddenly calculated the total in her head. I narrowed my eyes at her, and she quickly stuck out her tongue and went back to work. Finally, I let out a soft laugh. “Do you always think Mama is very scary?”

She pinched her thumb and forefinger together, showing a tiny gap. “A little bit,” she said like a little imp.

I kissed her forehead. “Mama won’t be scary to you anymore.”

I took away her pencil and closed her workbook. “Qingfan can do whatever she wants today. Go watch cartoons; finish the homework tomorrow.”

Clearly, my attitude terrified her. She immediately flipped the book back open, afraid to leave, and muttered, “Big Fan also said that if Mama suddenly becomes very gentle, there must be a catch!”

How exactly was You Feifan raising this child? What kind of ideas was she putting in her head? This little girl was becoming more and more like her! I shook my head helplessly. “If you want to do homework, that’s on you. I wasn’t planning on being strict today~”

Hearing that, Qingfan slammed the book shut as fast as she could. “Thanks, Mama!” she yelled.

She disappeared downstairs in a flash. I started tidying her backpack and found a Chinese test with a score of 100 hidden inside. At the end was a short essay written in a mix of pinyin and characters, titled Two Mamas.

‘I have 2 mamas! Lan Feiyi and Long Dafan! Mama Lan is busy every day, Dafan makes me good food every day! I also have a big doggy…’

In the blank space after the essay, she had drawn a picture. The figure she was holding with her left hand had long hair and a scary, angry face. The figure on her right had short hair and a happy, beaming face. She drew herself as a little flower, with a very, very ugly Xiduoduo in the distance. Looking at the essay full of typos and pinyin, I clutched the paper and wept uncontrollably.

I’ve become so fragile lately. If Feifan saw this essay, she would feel exactly like I do. I folded the test and tucked it into my bag.

Late at night, I imitated Feifan’s routine, leaning against the headboard to read from a book of children’s stories. Qingfan’s eyes were wide open. I looked at her sternly. “Close your eyes!”

“Mama, why can’t the little tadpole find its mama?”

I made something up on the spot. “Because Mama Frog has to find food for her babies.”

“Then why doesn’t she take the little tadpole with her to find food?”

“Because the little tadpole hasn’t grown its little legs yet; it can’t leave the water.”

“Then where is the little tadpole’s papa?”

I was stumped by this simple question. I was terrified of Qingfan asking me where her father went. The child was sensible; seeing that I didn’t answer, she pulled the blanket up. “It’s okay! I have two mamas anyway!”

I crawled under the covers and held her, humming a tune to soothe her. “Be a good girl, Qingfan. When Big Fan comes back, we’ll take you out to play. I’ll buy you lots of delicious food. Whatever toy you want, Mama will buy it for you. You just have to be very, very good.”

She planted kisses all over my face, happy as can be. “Pinky swear!”

“Pinky swear.”

“Goodnight, Mama~”

“Goodnight.”

Once Qingfan was asleep, I didn’t stay at the ancestral home. Instead, I drove back to the villa. Just as I pulled into the garden, I heard a car horn behind me. I stepped out and saw it was Duoran. She walked toward me slowly. I was a bit surprised. “How did you know I’d be back?”

“I was stopped right next to you at the traffic light outside the complex. I called you, but you didn’t answer. You were dazing off while driving—that’s dangerous.”

I checked my phone and remembered. “Oh, I put it on silent when I was putting Qingfan to bed.”

“Coming back so late.”

“Since you’re here, have a drink with me.”

“Feeling festive? Stealing a drink on the weekend.”

“Come in.”

Entering the living room, we were met with a draft that felt devoid of life. Mu Duoran shuddered. “Your house is even chillier than outside. It’s getting cold; my hands and feet are freezing.”