My Supernatural Exes Are Desperate to Win Me Back - Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Adoption

Although Xie Yi had heard Xu Xining calling the Forestry Bureau at the time, he was too busy reminiscing about his romantic history to listen carefully.

Besides, for eight hundred years, Xie Yi had always been firmly chosen by others.

Rather than believing he would be abandoned, he would sooner believe that Xu Xining was a ladyboy.

An event even more unbelievable than Xu Xining being a ladyboy occurred!!

The female staff member from the Forestry Bureau was the first to bend down to grab Xie Yi.

Xie Yi could have kicked her flying with one foot, but he was afraid Xu Xining would discover that his martial skills were too exceptionally swift. Furthermore, he held the principle of not hitting women, so he only struggled while turning back to glare at Xu Xining:

—Your mother, she’s sending him away?!

Such a beautiful fox, she actually had the heart to hand it over to the state?!!!

Xu Xining stood to the side watching, looking sweet, innocent, and completely heartless, waving her hand at him: “Have a safe trip, fox brother.”

The woman was about to put the fox into the cage when she suddenly seemed unable to control herself, letting out a sobbing sound: “Ah!”

Xu Xining was startled.

The woman held the fox and kissed it repeatedly: “So cute!!! How can a fox look this pleasing to people?!”

The two men next to her also fell captive one after another: “If you ask me, this fox doesn’t even look wild; it must be at champion-show standard.”

“Look at these paws, how exquisite. This fur, how beautiful! It’s just like something drawn in a cartoon!”

“I can’t bear to put it in the cage. It’s such a cold day, let me carry it while we walk,” the woman pleaded.

“That violates the rules. After all, it’s a wild animal and might attack people… I’m a man, let me carry it.”

“Get lost, get lost, get lost, let me do it. I’m tall, I’m 1.8 meters.”

“To hell with your 1.8 meters. Why don’t you carve ‘1.8 meters’ on your tombstone.”

Xu Xining: “…”

She watched helplessly as the three people began to frantically pet the fox out of their minds, absolutely unable to put it down, as if intoxicated and obsessed.

Hello? Aren’t you guys professionals? Haven’t you ever seen a fox? Exercise some restraint, hey!!!

The fox bared its teeth and let out a low growl, its tail snapping away the hands of the two men.

Only then did the three people seem to snap out of it. The woman realized she had lost her composure, coughed a few times, and said in a deep voice: “Look at this fox, doesn’t it look a bit like… a Mount Tu Red Fox?”

The remaining two people instantly froze, turning to look at the fox’s face and paw shape, their expressions growing increasingly solemn one by one.

Xu Xining asked: “What is a Mount Tu Red Fox?”

“A national first-class protected animal,” one man explained. “Wild Mount Tu Red Foxes were considered functionally extinct after 1921, and completely vanished within our country’s borders around 1930. The last time one was sighted was in the southwestern Mangshan Mountains. If this really is a wild Mount Tu Red Fox, then…”

“Is there a reward?” Xu Xining’s eyes were bright.

“Cough, there is no monetary reward, but we can apply for an individual commendation for you.”

“A commendation?”

“Basically a verbal praise.”

“Then there’s no need,” Xu Xining saluted seriously. “I do good deeds without seeking rewards, learning from Comrade Lei Feng.”

They carried the fox and left.

Xie Yi’s ears drooped down. He stared straight at Xu Xining, his gaze like the drifting mist and ripples on a river surface, a look filled with more parting melancholy than a woman leaning on a railing and gazing into the distance in poetry.

The resentment and reluctance were like wet hooks, bloodily hooking a person’s heart out, making it seem as if one would willingly hand over their life to him.

Xu Xining suddenly shouted: “Wait!”

Xie Yi suppressed a triumphant smile.

Can’t bear it, right? Loath to part, right? Regretting it at the last moment, right?

Xu Xining dashed into the kitchen, grabbed the carrot, caught up, shoved the carrot to the fox’s mouth, and said happily: “Big bro, big bro, big bro, take this with you to eat on the road. Anyway, since it’s covered in your saliva, I can’t eat it either.”

Xie Yi: …

Eat your mother’s carrot! I already said I hate carrots the most in this life!!!

The next morning, the golden morning light pierced through the bedroom curtains, and the alarm rang persistently for the tenth time.

Xu Xining startled awake from her dream, grabbed her phone, leapt up, brushed her teeth, washed her face, changed her clothes, and grabbed bread and yogurt as breakfast.

A new day, a new race against life and death.

There was a morning meeting today. In case she was late, that menopausal editor would use all kinds of passive-aggressive sarcasm and dark mockery, implying inside and outside her words that you wasted my time and you deserved ten thousand deaths. Yet when she herself started scolding people, she didn’t feel time was tight at all, talking with an absolute torrent of eloquence.

Xu Xining pulled up the heels of her shoes while jumping, grabbed her crossbody bag, and violently pushed open the door.

A cold wind rushed over her face. Outside the door sat a smiling, fiery red fox, wagging its tail unhurriedly.

Xu Xining looked at it, and it looked at Xu Xining.

Xie Yi: “Ying~”

Something seemed to explode inside Xu Xining’s brain.

How did this thing run back again? Does he come with an automatic cruise control? Did staying for one night actually breed deep feelings? Is he Big Big Fox? Saying “I will definitely come back” when leaving, and the next day the plot refreshes and he appears right back on the spot?

That bunch of guys from the Forestry Bureau looked unreliable, but they turned out to actually be even more unreliable!

Rushing to work, there was no time. A first-class protected animal couldn’t just be left wandering around outside, right?

At any rate, she was an outstanding youth with a verbal commendation!

Xu Xining forcefully pulled down the lemon plush toy on her crossbody bag, made a few  sounds in front of Xie Yi, and then threw it forcefully into the room: “Go, Pikachu!”

Xie Yi: …

Go to hell!

As the dignified Demon King, Xie Yi could naturally not be trapped by a mere Forestry Bureau.

He cast a spell of replacing the day with the night, swapping a normal red fox into the cage, while he himself bamboozled the security guard uncle with a few words, strolling grandly out of the Forestry Bureau.

He didn’t forget to find an eloquent raccoon spirit to pose as a Forestry Bureau staff member and call Xu Xining.

When Xu Xining received the call, she was currently in the morning meeting.

The phone screen kept lighting up with reminders. She impatiently flipped the phone face down.

Unexpectedly, the editor Qin Minjin revealed a gentle and considerate smile, teasing: “Truly a busy person. Go answer it, what if Xie Yi is calling you?”

Xu Xining felt a wave of disgust.

Why, why do you look forward to my ex calling me so much?!

Xu Xining knew it wasn’t Xie Yi.

Firstly, Xie Yi’s caller ID reminder was “Peacock Flaunting Smug King.”

Secondly, because Xie Yi had called her too many times a while ago, she had blacklisted his number.

Xu Xining walked out of the meeting room and connected the call.

On the other end of the phone, the raccoon spirit expressed deep apology: “Hello, Ms. Xu. Regarding the fox you picked up, after expert appraisal, it’s just a fox that escaped from a breeding farm. We have already sent staff members to return it to you.”

“What do you mean returned to me!” Xu Xining protested, “You guys just normally dumped it at my doorstep!”

“We’re sorry, dear…”

This “dear” had only come out halfway when the raccoon spirit received a heavy blow from the supervisor next to him, who scolded, “Are you fucking a Taobao customer service agent!”

The raccoon spirit covered the receiver and scolded back: “I fucking am a Taobao customer service agent!!”

He uncovered the receiver, smiling as he changed his words: “Sorry, Ms. Xu, it’s like this. Our staff members have a heavy workload, so a small mistake occurred.”

“But,” Xu Xining asked strangely, “didn’t you say it was a Mount Tu Red Fox?”

“It’s not, it just looks like a Mount Tu Red Fox. Actually… uh…” The raccoon spirit’s CPU was about to burn out, and he blurted out, “He mutated!”

“Mutated?”

“Yes, yes, yes. On the surface, he closely resembles a Mount Tu Red Fox, but actually his genes are that of a local fox. The kind from a breeding farm with artificial insemination, pumped with hormones to ripen on an assembly line, ready to be slaughtered, skinned, and sold for money in three months.”

The supervisor whispered like a demon next to him: “I’m going to tell His Highness about this sentence.”

The raccoon spirit covered the receiver, turning pale with fright: “You dare! If you dare to tattle, I dare to tell His Highness that your ultimate lifelong wish is to be slept with by His Highness!”

The supervisor looked around, flying into a rage out of shame: “I’m a man with a wife! I warning you not to talk nonsense!!”

The raccoon spirit laughed wildly: “Hahaha, blockhead! Your wife wants to as well!!”

Hanging up the phone, Xu Xining felt a bit uncomfortable inside.

Lost property should be returned to its owner. She ought to call the nearest breeding farm to ask if they lost a fox, but if sent back, the little guy would be skinned and sold for meat.

Sending him home was one thing; sending him to his death was quite another.

Even though she had only raised him for two days.

But humans were such strange creatures. Clearly knowing that large batches of chickens and ducks from breeding farms were ruthlessly slaughtered every minute and second, one could still eat chicken legs with boundless joy. Yet a one-yuan baby chick bought from a vendor at the school entrance, from the moment it was held in the palm of one’s hand, took on a different meaning.

If it lived, it would be clumsily nurtured; if it died, a child would weep for it.

Nothing in the world was inherently irreplaceable. It was the time and love invested that made it stand out among the masses.

Xu Xining thought to herself, maybe she should just raise him after all.

After all, they shared the camaraderie of having touched his balls!

Xie Yi thus openly moved into Cherry Blossom Street.

Xu Xining hadn’t previously viewed him as her pet because he would be sent away sooner or later, so it was better not to form too deep a emotional attachment.

But now it was different!

Xu Xining gave the fox a fierce petting session.

Petting the base of his tail, petting his paw pads, petting his soft, fluffy belly, petting him until he lacked any strength like melted cream, only able to narrow his eyes resentfully, looking at her while letting out an unbearable guttural sound.

She even extended her fingertips into his soft ear canal to stroke those sensitive fine hairs.

The girl’s slender finger pads had a bit of light calluses, and the touch felt like an electric current, sending crisp numbness throughout Xie Yi’s entire body.

The old master of the sea flipped his ship today; no one in this life had ever dared to pet the Demon King Highness’s fur like this.

Xie Yi wanted to escape but couldn’t, trembling slightly under the stimulation on her knees.

That place can’t be touched, damn it.

Xu Xining petted him to her heart’s content, lifted the fox onto the table, squatted down to look into his eyes, and said with great solemnity: “From now on, we are brothers with a bond as close as hands and feet! Therefore, I want to give you a name. This name must be direct, resounding, auspicious, making one feel enlightened, dizzy, and earsplitting!”

Xie Yi was dizzy, his head spinning and his legs weak, awed by her serious expression, thinking to himself that it must be a name like a king or a deity, right?

“Speaking of which, I once did something I’m sorry for to you,” Xu Xining self-examined. “When I first saw you, I felt you looked a bit like Xie Yi.”

Xie Yi: This, I can forgive.

“But I hate substitutes. I hate them most in this life.” Xu Xining raised a finger, saying seriously, “To make up for it, I decided to give you a name completely opposite to Xie Yi.”

Xie Yi fell into confusion.

What name would be the opposite of Xie Yi?

Could ‘Xie Yi’ possibly have an antonym?

Xu Xining placed her hand on his head, solemn as if announcing the birth of a new life: “Fox big bro, starting from today, you shall be called—”

She stared straight ahead, forcibly pronouncing the words: “—Good, Man!!!”

Good!

Man!!

The two words struck like a grand bell beside Xie Yi’s ears, indeed enlightening! Indeed dizzying! Indeed earsplitting!

You are the fucking antonym of a good man!

How am I not a good man?!!

You’re the one called a good man! Your whole family is called a good man!!!

To express his protest, the fox began to scurry wildly around the room, rolling all over the floor, screaming at the top of his lungs in exasperated fury as if suffering a sudden malignant disease.

Seeing this, Xu Xining said happily: “Look, the child is driven crazy with joy.”

At the same time, on a street with neither lights nor surveillance, a dark shadow scurried across the exposed concrete slabs of an unfinished building.

The several figures following closely behind assumed an encircling posture, like highly trained hunters hunting wild beasts.

The hunters were swift, but the prey was even more fierce, and fast as lightning.

This pursuit team from the Heterogeneous Management Bureau had already been chasing the suspect, Wei Cheng, for a whole week.

The suspect Wei Cheng, a golden eagle monster, had no other skills except that he was incredibly fast at running away; casually clocking 300 km/h was no problem at all.

He recklessly stole passersby’s phones and wallets, and sometimes secretly took photos up girls’ skirts to sell online.

Because he was too fast, girls often thought it was just a warm gust of wind blowing past, when in fact he had already succeeded.

Relying on his natural talent, Wei Cheng left his pursuers eighteen blocks behind.

The Execution Department of the Management Bureau had always only hired humans, but how could a purebred human possibly catch up to him?

Wei Cheng sneered: “A bunch of turtles, still wanting to catch up to grandpa…”

His smile was still hanging on his face when his vision went black in the next second.

Under the moonlight, a figure dove down like a falcon, with the momentum of thundering lightning, a ferocious aura rushing over!

The killing intent was like a freezing iceberg from the extreme north instantly collapsing.

He actually jumped directly from the top of the unfinished building; to an ordinary person, a height of ten floors meant certain death!

That person grabbed Wei Cheng by his hair, slamming him onto the ground!

This strike was too brutal; Wei Cheng directly smashed his face until it was covered in blood. The person picked him up, and with a reverse hand movement, ripped off his wings, in a posture like tearing apart duck wings by hand…

The wings were connected to the heart, and Wei Cheng’s wretched screams were as shrill as a slaughtered pig.

He turned his head with a forehead full of cold sweat, his lips trembling, breaking into a loud curse: “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!!! Who the fuck are you! How dare you treat me like this! How dare you harm me!!! I’m going to sue you!!! You, you, you, intentional injury! Just wait to rot in jail!!!”

The Execution Department also had to follow the basic laws. Wei Cheng committed theft, infringed upon others’ right to privacy, and disseminated obscene materials; although he was a criminal, his crime did not warrant death.

Where was the logic in catching someone and snapping their two legs right off without saying a word?!!

Under the moonlight, that person’s face actually looked very young, a male college student sitting somewhere between quiet and indifferent.

Holding Wei Cheng’s head with one hand, he stated expressionlessly: “On October 3rd last year, you secretly filmed a nude photo of Huaijiang High School student Chen Jingwen in the Hanyu Bathhouse and uploaded it to the internet. A month later, her boyfriend, classmates, teachers, parents, and relatives all saw this photo. At 3:00 AM on January 9th, Zhang Jingwen jumped from this unfinished building to commit suicide.”

The youth pressed his head onto an exposed steel pipe: “Right at this spot.”

“So what?!” Wei Cheng’s face contorted in pain, turning his head in exasperated fury, “Just a photo! It’s not like I killed her! She chose to die herself! She couldn’t take it, what could I do?! It’s not like she’s the only one! She must have had psychological issues herself!”

The youth said: “So that’s what you think.”

Wei Cheng grinned ferociously: “You intentionally injured someone! When the time comes, you’ll stay in prison longer than me! I’ll come out before you, can you control me?! Who do you think you are? An avenging angel? Bah!!!”

The youth let go of his hand. Wei Cheng still found it strange, thinking he regretted it.

The next moment, like a quiet flash of lightning streaking across the night sky, a single line of blade light appeared.

It was too fast. Wei Cheng had always prided himself on speed, yet at that moment, he actually couldn’t see the youth’s blade striking clearly, only feeling his vision brighten slightly.

The next moment, wind passed through his neck.

Wei Cheng hung on the rebar like a piece of rag, dead.

The youth paused, saying: “Not an avenging angel. It’s Zhan Xingye, Management Bureau S-class Execution Captain, serial number 203751.”

After completing his self-introduction, Zhan Xingye calmly sat on the suspended rebar, pulling out his phone from his pocket, while the corpse swayed in the wind right beside him.

WeChat showed a message sent by Xu Xining.

Locking Her Heart and Avoiding Love: “Friend! Don’t forget to go to Pear Blossom Lane tomorrow evening at six to see Old Xu!”

Zhan Xingye stared at it for a while, anxiously cracking his knuckles.

He typed “Since it’s on the way anyway, let’s go together”, and deleted it.

He typed “Are you setting off from the company or from home”, and deleted it.

He typed “Okay, pay attention to safety on the road”, and deleted it.

He stared blankly at the screen, the light of the phone illuminating his face in the dark night.

Potted Plant: “Mm.”

Support