My Roommate is a Gloomy, Sensitive Guy Who Cries Over Everything - Chapter 52

Chapter 52: Wishing He Could Gouge Out His Own Heart…

Lin Zhiyu’s breathing was ragged. Forgetting to hide his reaction, he stared at the beads on Lin Rangchuan’s wrist and the position of his watch. It was the middle of winter; they were eating barbecue, huddled by the fire, drinking beer.

In the winter cold, the sweat felt sticky, and Lin Zhiyu’s thoughts were a chaotic mess. What if… what if that was just an accidental cut? Surely it wasn’t that extreme, right?

Lin Rangchuan had attempted suicide before?

Lin Zhiyu wouldn’t believe it even if he were beaten to death.

After all, the body is just skin and bone; it’s easy to get scraped by something sharp. Getting hurt is normal, and leaving a scar is normal too.

“Wife, what are you looking at?” Lin Rangchuan’s voice drifted over, light as a feather.

As if struck by electricity, Lin Zhiyu let go of his hand. Seeing Lin Rangchuan’s flawlessly smiling face, he had the sudden, jarring illusion that Lin Rangchuan had shown him that scar on purpose.

Forcing himself to stay calm, he managed a small smile. “Nothing, I was just thinking about something.”

“As long as it’s nothing. You looked like you were about to cry just now,” Lin Rangchuan said, leaning in. The surroundings were noisy and bustling; if one didn’t look closely, they wouldn’t notice the tension here.

Lin Zhiyu turned his head and collided with Lin Rangchuan’s pitch-black pupils. In that moment, it felt like an animal’s instinct—like being under the watchful gaze of a patrolling tiger.

Lin Zhiyu swallowed hard and rubbed his forehead against Lin Rangchuan’s. “I just thought of something unhappy.”

Lin Rangchuan’s entire body stiffened. His chin was lightly brushed by Lin Zhiyu’s hair, and his collarbone was pressed against him. His “wife’s” warm, fragile breath fanned over him.

Small, soft, a tiny bundle.

Yu Hechang, watching from the side, asked, “Drunk already?”

Lin Rangchuan shook his head very slightly. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he gently pulled Lin Zhiyu into his arms, stroking his back.

Even Qin Rui, sitting opposite them, looked over at the sight. Fearing Qin Rui would ask questions, Lin Zhiyu abruptly lifted his head, grabbed a beef skewer, and started eating.

He wasn’t drunk or dizzy at all. He had just sensed Lin Rangchuan suspecting what he was looking at; afraid the other would insist on getting to the bottom of it, he had made that move. Clearly, it was highly effective.

The meat at this barbecue place was substantial, served in large chunks. Lin Zhiyu could only bite off half at a time, leaving the other half hanging precariously on the iron skewer.

Luck wasn’t on his side; the meat fell. Lin Zhiyu didn’t catch it, but Lin Rangchuan used a plate to catch the meat from the skewer and placed it in front of his wife.

Eating this way was much more uninhibited. Lin Zhiyu used his chopsticks to shove the large chunks of meat into his mouth, one after another, until his cheeks were bulging.

Lin Rangchuan counted: a total of three and a half pieces of meat had filled his wife’s mouth.

Small mouth but a good eater; his chewing ability was average though, as he couldn’t seem to swallow it all even after many attempts.

A group of young men and women approached from not far away to strike up a conversation. They were local university students who lived nearby and happened to run into acquaintances. Without a word, they pushed two tables together.

A few of the girls were smiling very sweetly at Qin Rui. Although Qin Rui seemed disinterested, he still forced himself to respond politely.

As for the one sitting next to Lin Zhiyu, he was simply devoid of social grace. His gaze couldn’t hide his disgust; no matter how handsome he was, it didn’t help.

The friendly and handsome Lin Zhiyu became their target, but because Lin Rangchuan beside him was so intimidating, they hesitated.

Consequently, Lin Zhiyu and Lin Rangchuan were forced into a corner, as if isolated in their own world.

Qin Rui originally wanted to ask him to sit in the middle where it was livelier, but Lin Zhiyu didn’t go. If he left, what would Lin Rangchuan do?

As time passed, no more water came out, but that place felt like something had been stuffed inside for a long time, making him restless.

He tugged at Lin Rangchuan’s sleeve. When Lin Rangchuan turned, Lin Zhiyu faced that face and stammered, “Go to the restroom… Can you help me take it out? It’s not… blocked anymore.”

Lin Rangchuan asked airily, “Is your butt itchy?”

Lin Zhiyu’s eyelids lifted as he glared fiercely. However, with his round eyes and the flush from the alcohol—even the tip of his nose was red—he lacked any real lethality.

“Next time I’ll tie your dick up and let you try it!”

Lin Rangchuan’s reaction was far more intense than Lin Zhiyu had imagined. The veins on his neck pulsed slightly, his breathing quickened into heavy pants, yet his face still wore that elegant smile.

“Wife, you are so good to me.”

Lin Zhiyu’s mouth twitched. Returning to the matter at hand: “…No, you have to help me…”

Lin Rangchuan began to smile like a spring breeze. “Okay, I’ll help my wife scratch the itch.”

“…”

He’s sick.

Perhaps because it was a smile from the heart, it wasn’t as cold; instead, it held a trace of tenderness, drawing the gazes of several people sitting nearby.

Lin Rangchuan quickly retracted the curve of his eyes, casting a cold sweep of his gaze. He looked like someone not to be trifled with, someone with a strange temper—as if if you looked one more time, he would flip the table the next second.

Everyone tactfully looked away and continued eating and drinking.

Only then did Lin Rangchuan lazily pull his wife into his arms. “Let’s go. I’ll take you to stop the itch.”

Unbelievable.

Lin Zhiyu irritably let Lin Rangchuan lead him into the barbecue shop’s restroom. To be honest, the environment wasn’t great.

After lingering at the door for a moment, Lin Rangchuan went to a chain hotel on another street to ask to borrow their restroom.

“Excuse me, my younger brother has a stomach ache.”

“…?” Lin Zhiyu’s face gradually contorted. In “great pain,” he bent over and leaned against Lin Rangchuan’s chest. “Brother, I feel bad. I really need the bathroom.”

The receptionist was taken aback. “The room at the end of the hall to the left.”

The restroom layout of the chain hotel wasn’t bad, and there was no one there at the moment. Entering the innermost stall, Lin Rangchuan pulled out the blocking fabric, which even made a pop sound.

Unfolding it, almost half of the fabric was soaked. Lin Rangchuan smiled and said, “Wife, you’re truly amazing.”

Without the blockage, the warm water flowed down. Lin Zhiyu felt incredibly awkward. Lin Rangchuan pulled out a few tissues and wiped his wife completely clean.

Lin Zhiyu couldn’t see anything, but he could feel how long and jade-like his fingers were.

He could feel those sticky things taking root and sprouting, slowly flowing in that warm, heated space. At the thought of this, Lin Zhiyu’s toes couldn’t help but curl.

Lin Rangchuan said he was gifted, but wasn’t he himself the same? Could this be a disease? After all, this exceeded the normal human average.

It was truly crazy.

After stepping out, Lin Zhiyu walked out of the hotel with weak legs and a red face. He glanced at the sign; from now on, he would have a deep impression of this hotel…

Wait, Lin Rangchuan couldn’t be planning to leave his “mark” in various places nearby, could he?

Anyway, the school was such a sacred place; Lin Zhiyu was determined not to do it there!

Not in the future, either. Once he left the small courtyard, he was still that pure “Little Fish”!

Lin Rangchuan stuffed that wet piece of fabric into his pocket, as if it could be kept for a lifetime.

…

As the start of the semester approached, Lin Zhiyu had already returned early to work in the Publicity Department. Various activities followed one after another.

Even the Lantern Festival and Arbor Day were included, followed by some public welfare activities and so on. These all required the Publicity Department to act as an intermediary.

As for the publicity posters, he still had to bother Lin Rangchuan.

Before, he didn’t think much of it, but now Lin Zhiyu felt bad. The people in the Student Union used free labor so conveniently. But he wouldn’t agree; they either had to pay or give actual benefits, like extra credits.

After all, Lin Rangchuan was very solitary and didn’t like participating in activities. If it were an individual competition, he might try, but for team events, it depended on whether there was a chance for a national award.

Thus, Lin Zhiyu secured a part-time job for his boyfriend in the Student Union that could earn him “quality education” credits.

“You get 0.1 points for every drawing. You can probably save up a whole point this semester. The people in the Publicity Department are more than happy about it.”

Lin Rangchuan smiled. “My wife is so good.”

Lin Zhiyu hummed twice. “Now you know how good I am.”

Lin Rangchuan pressed against his wife’s chest. “I’ve always known.”

“Then tonight, can you…”

Lin Rangchuan’s voice instantly turned cold. “Wife, it’s broad daylight. Don’t be ‘horny’.”

Lin Zhiyu: “…?”

Lin Rangchuan didn’t say a word. He left his half-finished drawing there—the tablet screen reflecting a strange glow—and reached into his wife’s collar to rub him. Panting, Lin Zhiyu pulled his hand out. “You draw first. I’m exhausted today. I’ll rest for a bit.”

The small room instantly fell silent. The photos on the walls were no longer replaced by drawings; instead, many photos of the two of them had been put up.

Midway through, Lin Zhiyu was woken up by the urge to urinate. Dazedly, he stepped over Lin Rangchuan’s body to get out of bed. By the time he finished and stumbled back to lie down, he was much more awake.

Passing by the corner of the table, he saw Lin Rangchuan’s watch. His eyes flickered with a faint light as he picked up the watch and felt it in his palm. It was icy cold; without the warmth of Lin Rangchuan’s body, it was just an ordinary watch.

Lin Zhiyu took off his shoes and crawled over him. Lin Rangchuan didn’t even knit his brows; his arms simply instinctively wrapped around him, fearing he might fall because the bed was too narrow.

This gave Lin Zhiyu the chance to push aside that string of beads. That scar on the inside of the wrist—both obvious and subtle—was revealed bloodily before Lin Zhiyu.

Lin Rangchuan had no other scars on his body except this one.

Lin Zhiyu didn’t even dare to touch it; he could only use his fingertip to brush it as lightly as a falling leaf. Despite this, his nose felt incredibly sour, almost to the point of tears.

But he couldn’t cry. It would be too easy for Lin Rangchuan to notice—whether it was the tears or his slightly red eyes the next morning.

He lowered his head and carefully placed a kiss on Lin Rangchuan’s lips and eyelids, a kiss as soft as a leaf touching the ground.

Lin Rangchuan seemed to have a reaction; his eyelashes fluttered, his closed eyes trembled unconsciously, and then a hint of moisture seeped out.

Was he having a nightmare?

Lin Zhiyu didn’t dare move any more and snuggled back in.

He wasn’t sure if it was an illusion, but he slept exceptionally deeply this time, as if unwilling to wake up.

Of course, that was impossible. Classes were starting, and the workload for the second semester was much heavier than the first.

Once he kept up with the pace, Lin Zhiyu didn’t need Lin Rangchuan to tutor him; he could figure things out himself.

After the two afternoon classes ended, he ran into Yu Hechang in the hallway. After exchanging greetings, he headed to the tennis courts.

At the edge of the court, Senior Lin wore a baseball cap, his face cold as frost. The lines of his wristbands and the corner of his abs revealed when his sports top lifted radiated the scent of youth.

So handsome!!!

Lin Zhiyu was taking photos on the side.

The lens zoomed in several times on Lin Rangchuan’s profile. The other person seemed to sense something and coolly turned to the other side, his ear tips turning red quite honestly.

There were quite a few people around the tennis court. A few distinct gazes fell upon his “wife.”

The person who had been receiving his serves threw his racket on the ground, panting. “Lin Rangchuan, give me a break!!!”

Lin Rangchuan ignored him completely and walked straight toward his wife. Lin Zhiyu handed him water and a towel. “Is it over?”

With people around, his wife wouldn’t feed him water or wipe his sweat. The treatment was worlds apart.

Lin Rangchuan’s tone was indifferent. “Why did you come?”

“Can’t I come?” Lin Zhiyu’s eyes widened. “What kind of talk is that? Say it again!”

Lin Rangchuan didn’t speak. He looked down, entranced by counting his wife’s eyelashes. Lin Zhiyu didn’t hold it against him. “I came to find you for dinner. Let’s go to the cafeteria.”

They returned to the small courtyard.

The weather was getting warmer, and the smell of sweat wasn’t pleasant. Lin Rangchuan wanted to change first. Lin Zhiyu smelled himself. “Then I don’t smell very good either.”

Lin Rangchuan leaned down and sniffed at his neck. “Sweet.”

Lin Zhiyu’s lips twitched as he pushed him away. “No, I need to change too. It really has a smell—stinky, a bit like sour rice.”

Lin Rangchuan’s expression turned fierce in an instant. He pinched Lin Zhiyu’s neck, then leaned down to kiss his eyelids and nose. “Don’t say such things. It sounds awful.”

He wasn’t using any force at all; it was actually a bit ticklish. Lin Zhiyu was dumbfounded. “What? I can’t even talk about myself?” And my face is covered in sweat, yet you can still kiss me. Lin Rangchuan, you’re unbeatable.

Lin Rangchuan spoke with a mixture of coldness and self-loathing, “No. No one can.”

“You are you, and you are my wife. You are the best in the whole world.”

Lin Zhiyu froze, then stood on his tiptoes to kiss the corner of his mouth. “You are also the best Lin Rangchuan in the whole world.”

A wave of indescribable numbness surged up Lin Rangchuan’s spine.

Lin Zhiyu felt it—he was about to start getting excited. That wouldn’t do. He threw the clean clothes at him. “Change and let’s go eat,” he said, hurriedly leaving the room.

Lin Rangchuan looked at the clothes scattered on the floor and thought: Why didn’t my wife throw them at my face just now?

After Lin Zhiyu went out, he suddenly saw a very familiar piece of cloth fluttering on the balcony, and seemed to remember something.

When Lin Rangchuan came out after changing, a piece of cloth was thrown in his face.

“…”

Lin Zhiyu’s face was red with anger. “Lin Rangchuan, what is this!! You didn’t throw it away?”

Lin Rangchuan looked; it was the little scrap of cloth that had blocked his wife that day. He calmly stuffed it into his pocket. “I’ll throw it later.”

Lin Zhiyu looked at him suspiciously. “You’d better.”

Lin Rangchuan hummed an “En.” The two went to the cafeteria. On the tree-lined campus road, many couples were openly holding hands, while they would have to separate at the school gate.

There was nothing special to see.

His pace quickened slightly, as if he couldn’t stand the sight of such stimulating, envious scenes. Lin Zhiyu was watching him at all times and noticed the change in his aura.

He slowed down slightly, then quickly rushed forward and grabbed Lin Rangchuan’s hand at his side, saying in a normal volume, “We are a couple too. Let’s hold hands and walk together.”

Lin Rangchuan’s gaze suddenly froze. His hand muscles instinctively gripped back, even their palm lines fitting together without a gap.

The shadows of the two were stretched long on the ground.

It wasn’t peak time, so there weren’t many people. Lin Zhiyu found a seat. Lin Rangchuan went to get the food, leaving his phone on the table. It lit up.

Lin Zhiyu unlocked it and found a message from Su Ying: Thank you, Brother, I received it.

Below was a screenshot of a tuition bill.

This family is really blood-sucking. Lin Zhiyu felt a bit annoyed as he put the phone down. When Lin Rangchuan returned, he finally asked, “How much are your current savings?”

Lin Rangchuan truly regarded money as something external. “Does my wife want to manage my accounts?”

Lin Zhiyu hadn’t expected him to say that. “You’ll let me?”

“I’ll give it all to you.”

Lin Zhiyu pursed his lips and bit his chopsticks. Lin Rangchuan had picked all his favorite dishes: sweet and sour pork ribs, salt-baked chicken legs, tomato and fried eggs, and seaweed egg drop soup. For a cafeteria, these dishes were already very good.

“If I said… I want you to stop paying for Su Ying’s tuition, would you agree to that too?”

Lin Rangchuan barely considered it. “Whatever you want.”

Lin Zhiyu was silent for a few seconds. “If the payment stops, will Su Ying have no school to attend?”

“Yes.” Lin Rangchuan spoke slowly, as if peeling back a long-standing scar. “She currently has no extra money to support herself, so she would choose to give up—fend for herself. At most, she could still live at home. Usually, I only provide slight help when they have no way to pay back debts. Su Ying was… an unexpected byproduct.”

Lin Zhiyu squeezed his arm muscles. “In the future, I’ll be the one to send her money.”

Lin Rangchuan wished he could gouge out his heart and his dick and give them both to his wife. “Whatever you say.”

…

After eating, Lin Rangchuan went to the art studio, and Lin Zhiyu put on his long-unseen apron to go to work. He wasn’t short of money for the time being; he knew his high daily wage was because the shop manager was friends with Lin Rangchuan, so it was a “friendship price.”

Lin Zhiyu felt a bit embarrassed again, so he went wherever Lin Rangchuan went. One painted while the other made milk tea—husband and wife earning money together, the best of both worlds.

After he finished painting and Lin Zhiyu clocked out, as he was closing the shutters, he remembered something. “Did you throw it away?”

Lin Rangchuan calmly helped his wife lock the door. “Threw it.”

The verb “throw” didn’t necessarily have to be followed by “trash can.” It could be followed by “art studio.”

…

Lin Rangchuan had been looking at houses in A-City recently. He said if he was going to buy one for his wife, he would. His wife had been very good to him lately, yielding to him in everything.

But he could give nothing. His emotions were always at the most extreme darkness, and he would cry at the drop of a hat. His wife was truly suffering.

Other than earning money, what use was he?

As for setting up a studio, it wasn’t that simple. Capital, costs, and networking were all important. Although Ning Xingzhou’s side was trash, it was still founded by several powerful seniors from H-University; taking their business would be hard unless their side could suddenly produce a “super” game.

Lin Zhiyu was quite naive. “Can’t we?”

Lou Chen had a headache. “You think it’s like a house? You can just buy it if you have money?”

Lin Zhiyu was also a computer science student, but unfortunately, he was only a freshman. “Take it slow. What’s the rush? We don’t have to worry about funding. Every startup has risks. We can start a small project first, using the lowest labor to replace the highest capital operation.”

Lou Chen glanced at him. “Xiao Yu, you have quite the talent for being a boss.”

There was only one person in the shop; everyone else was on leave. Lin Zhiyu was making milk tea. “Really?”

“Really. Very good at ‘drawing cakes’ (making empty promises/visionary talk).”

“…”

“But the direction is right. After you said it, I don’t feel as much internal friction. Much better.” Lou Chen had been entangled with Ning Xingzhou’s side for money recently, and it might even go to court.

But Ning Xingzhou clearly didn’t dare; he was worried about his reputation, so he was still trying to settle privately.

This made Lin Rangchuan seem much more idle, with time to paint.

Buzz buzz. The phone placed at the back suddenly rang.

Lin Zhiyu wiped his hands and answered.

“Son, are you at school?”

“Huh?”

Xue Rong laughed heartily. “I’ve come to find you!”

“???”