My Roommate is a Gloomy, Sensitive Guy Who Cries Over Everything - Chapter 45

Chapter 45: I Am Not Gay

Lin Rangchuan blinked, forcing back the moisture in his eyes before willingly sinking into his wife’s embrace.

The moment Rangchuan pressed down on him, Lin Zhiyu realized something was wrong. Before he could resist, his clothes were pushed aside, leaving his chest exposed—it was quite embarrassing. His chest was cradled and brought to the man’s lips as if Rangchuan wanted to suck something out of him. On the other side, a slightly cool palm covered him.

Lin Zhiyu felt both pain and an itch. His hands didn’t let go of their movements, but his throat gradually became parched and unbearable. He pushed against Rangchuan’s shoulders without much force, which was no different from acting spoiled: “It’s really going to swell. Stop biting… how am I supposed to see people tomorrow?”

“See people? Who else do you need to see besides me?” Lin Rangchuan looked up, his lips glistening with moisture, making Lin Zhiyu blush furiously.

Who knew what dark thoughts were swirling in Rangchuan’s mind; he was likely lost in his own hallucinations again. “Wife, don’t think about others.”

Lin Zhiyu cried out in protest: “Who am I thinking about? I still have to eat breakfast with that group of ‘geniuses’ in your family tomorrow.”

“You weren’t? There were quite a lot of them.” Lin Rangchuan sat up from him with a cold face, perched silently on the edge of the bed to finish his “handiwork,” leaving Lin Zhiyu dazed.

Lin Zhiyu hugged him from behind. “How can they compare to you? You’re my boyfriend…” He paused, then corrected himself: “My dear hubby~”

Lin Rangchuan gave a silent curl of his lips. Just those few words made his chest feel unbearably hot. Anyone would have to admit his wife was skilled at this. After much thought, he pulled his wife’s hand back to “that place,” leading the way to paradise.

As they did this more often, it seemed the usual wasn’t stimulating enough. He craved something softer, wetter—like a newborn seeking its mother. Besides his wife’s “place,” where else was there?

Lin Rangchuan’s eyes were bloodshot. He felt ashamed of his own filthiness and depravity. Back when Lin Zhiyu first moved in, he had cowardly yet boldly fantasized about waking up inside his body, squeezing into that place he dreamed of day and night, indulging in a “gentle village.”

Back then, the way his wife looked at him was like looking at a stranger. And that stranger, while appearing expressionless, was thinking of how to make him even filthier.

A creak echoed, startling Lin Zhiyu. They hadn’t even done anything, yet the bed sounded like it was about to collapse. “Isn’t there another spare bedroom here?”

Lin Rangchuan bit his lower lip, frowning with disgust. “There is. It became a storage room.”

Lin Zhiyu’s mouth was red from the kissing. He stared wide-eyed. “They’d rather have you live in a literal storage room than give you a decent bedroom!”

Seeing his wife so heartbroken for him, Lin Rangchuan lowered his eyelids, kissing and nuzzling him. “This isn’t my home. Living under someone else’s roof, I don’t have high demands. It’s enough that you came.”

Lin Zhiyu’s heart ached for him. “Sigh, they’re just terrible.”

That night, Lin Rangchuan wanted to “go in,” but Lin Zhiyu wouldn’t let him. Rangchuan wouldn’t listen, and in a fit of frustration, Zhiyu slapped him. “Do you even know where we are?”

Lin Rangchuan stopped moving. He slumped into Zhiyu’s embrace, weeping silently with an expressionless face. Lin Zhiyu took a few breaths to calm down. It seemed staying here was having a massive negative impact on Lin Rangchuan’s psychological and mental health; they should move out tomorrow.

With his mind occupied, Lin Zhiyu stroked Lin Rangchuan’s back. “Stop crying. Let’s sleep, okay?”

Lin Rangchuan wiped his tears on Zhiyu’s body and leaned in, his warm breath fanning against Zhiyu’s cheek. “Pinch me, then I’ll sleep.”

“…”

With a complicated expression, Lin Zhiyu pinched his thigh. Lin Rangchuan let out a sharp gasp, looking satisfied as his heart rate returned to normal.

…

The winter morning was chilly. Lin Zhiyu couldn’t take it and subconsciously wrapped the blanket around himself. Then, realizing something, he opened his eyes and saw that Lin Rangchuan was so cold he looked like a corpse. He hurriedly covered him with the blanket.

How heartless, Zhiyu thought. Even with a guest, they didn’t bother to provide an extra blanket. It’s not like he hadn’t asked last night; they just said they didn’t have one. They were doing it on purpose.

Lin Zhiyu touched Lin Rangchuan’s face; it was cold. Fearing he’d catch a cold, Zhiyu simply got out of bed. He was fuming. After washing up with cold water, he let out a sneeze—and then he couldn’t stop.

The one who caught a cold wasn’t Lin Rangchuan; it was himself.

At breakfast, only Su Zhengxiang was there. Song Yaju must have said something to him last night, as he was actually quite pleasant to Lin Zhiyu, making small talk.

As Lin Zhiyu peeled an egg, Su Zhengxiang piped up: “Actually, Lin Rangchuan’s personality has been problematic since he was a kid.”

Lin Zhiyu didn’t want to engage, but felt it would be rude not to. “He’s very good.”

“You don’t know. When he first arrived, he wouldn’t address anyone. He was filthy and would sit down to eat without a word, like he hadn’t eaten in eight hundred years. I knew then he had issues. I wanted to educate him, but during his rebellious phase, he wouldn’t listen to anyone. Even now… we raised him for all those years, yet he’s so cold-blooded. Little friend, I advise you to stay away from a ‘chang-gui’ [malevolent spirit] friend like him.”

Lin Zhiyu looked at him, speechless. “Why didn’t you give him a bigger room? Aren’t there others left?”

Su Zhengxiang said naturally, “He didn’t want to move. We couldn’t do anything about him.”

Lin Zhiyu’s heart ached even more. “He didn’t want to, or you wouldn’t give it? He was just a kid then. You’re an adult—how can you hold a grudge against a child? Aren’t you embarrassed?”

Su Zhengxiang’s face turned ashen. “He has a mental illness. His mother said so herself.”

Lin Zhiyu was fiercely protective. “Where? Just because you say so doesn’t make it true. Where’s the doctor’s certificate? I could sue you for defamation.”

The conversation ended when Song Yaju came out, followed by Su Ying. Lin Rangchuan was still sleeping. Naturally, they hadn’t made breakfast for Rangchuan or Zhiyu; Lin Zhiyu ended up eating Su Ying’s portion. Song Yaju, doting on her younger son, went back to the kitchen to cook again.

Lin Zhiyu glanced at Su Ying and noticed he had dark circles so heavy they looked ready to hit the floor. He clearly hadn’t slept well. Su Ying accidentally met his gaze and quickly looked away, looking very guilty. Lin Zhiyu frowned slightly; he had a bad feeling.

Song Yaju emerged from the kitchen with a plate for Su Ying and snatched away a napkin that had been sitting by Lin Zhiyu’s hand. “The eggs will take another five minutes. Eat the toast first.”

Lin Zhiyu couldn’t understand it. They both came from her womb—why was she so terrible to Lin Rangchuan?

Song Yaju sat down and began eating, casually chatting with Su Zhengxiang. “Hubby, I couldn’t sleep last night, so I read a news story. A son in a family liked men, so his mother sent him for electroconvulsive therapy. It’s unheard of—how can a man like a man?”

Su Zhengxiang said absentmindedly, “Isn’t that a disease? It’s disgusting.”

Lin Zhiyu’s brow furrowed.

“Right? It must be a mental illness. He came back a year after the therapy and was completely normal. Looking at the comments, they say he’s already going on blind dates.”

“Isn’t that a lie?” Lin Zhiyu couldn’t listen anymore.

Song Yaju smiled. “How is it a lie? Is a man dating a man not a lie to his parents?”

Lin Zhiyu stared at her without a word. Song Yaju snorted. “If my son were in that situation, I would never let him off—nor the man following him. They’d better stay out of my sight, or I’d be so disgusted I’d vomit on the spot.”

Lin Zhiyu was beyond annoyed. Just as he was about to speak, a voice from behind cut him off.

“Ms. Song, take back what you just said.” Lin Rangchuan walked out from the hallway. His face was still damp, his complexion pale, and his eyes dark. He looked like a water ghost.

Song Yaju jumped, her heart nearly stopping. Lin Rangchuan stood behind Lin Zhiyu. “Apologize.”

Recovering from the shock, Song Yaju stiffened her neck. “Why should I apologize? Was I wrong? Male homosexuality is a disgusting thing.”

Lin Rangchuan repeated himself: “I said, apologize.”

Song Yaju gnashed her teeth. “Lin Rangchuan, what kind of tone is that to use with your mother… I…”

Lin Rangchuan interrupted her impatiently. “I know you’re going to Second Aunt’s place later. Do you not want to leave? Or do you want something to happen while you’re on the way?”

Hearing this, Su Zhengxiang tugged at her clothes. “Forget it, forget it.”

Disappointed in her husband’s spinelessness, Song Yaju sat down and huffed, “I’m sorry.”

Lin Zhiyu originally wanted to let it go—the damage was already done, so what was an apology worth? But Lin Rangchuan said, “I can’t hear you.”

Song Yaju yelled at him, “Lin Rangchuan!”

Lin Rangchuan just stared at her. Forced to endure, Song Yaju managed a fake smile. “You’re called Xiao Yu, right? I’m truly sorry. Don’t take what I said to heart.”

Lin Zhiyu tsked. Suddenly, he couldn’t swallow his anger. “Oh, I’m taking it to heart. I’m taking it deep into my heart; I won’t forget it for the rest of my life. I was originally thinking of having Lin Rangchuan help you out financially, but it seems that’s not necessary. That’s right—you’ve offended me.”

As he spoke, Lin Zhiyu glanced toward Su Ying. Su Ying looked away immediately, trembling like a leaf.

…

The breakfast was hard to swallow. Before they left, Song Yaju went to change her clothes, Su Zhengxiang was in the kitchen washing dishes, and Su Ying sat in the living room scrolling through videos on his phone. No communication, no eye contact, and no more “Brother” this and “Brother” that.

Lin Zhiyu sent Rangchuan away: “Go pack your bags. We’re leaving soon, too.”

Lin Rangchuan stood there like a statue, stubbornly refusing to move. Lin Zhiyu pinched his arm. “Go! Hurry up.”

Only then did Lin Rangchuan react: “You’ll be here alone?”

Lin Zhiyu guessed his logic and said exactly what he wanted to hear: “If anyone bullies me, you kill them!”

Su Ying was so startled he dropped his phone on the floor with a loud thud. Lin Rangchuan gave him a look before reluctantly going back to the room to pack.

Now that it was just the two of them in the living room, Lin Zhiyu got straight to the point: “You’re the one who said it, right? You found out when you came looking for Lin Rangchuan last night?”

Su Ying said nothing.

“That is my and Lin Rangchuan’s privacy. You just blurted it out. Do you have any manners?”

Su Ying remained silent, his head bowed with an innocent and aggrieved expression. Anyone watching would think Lin Zhiyu was the bully. Lin Zhiyu’s anger flared. “If you keep this up, do you believe I’ll cut off your tuition?”

Su Ying immediately looked up, eyes filled with tears. “Don’t! I still want to go to school.”

He was in his first year of high school—a critical time. Lin Zhiyu gave a mock laugh. “At most, I’ll have him support you until you finish high school. For university, you can work and earn your own money. That’s how your brother lived, after all.”

But Su Ying was different from Lin Rangchuan. He hadn’t suffered since he was a child. Even when the family went bankrupt, his quality of life hadn’t dropped; in fact, it improved because Lin Rangchuan was making money.

Su Ying’s expression shifted from grievance to resentment. “My brother and I are blood-related. He wouldn’t do that to me.”

Lin Zhiyu put his hands in his pockets and said calmly, “Guess whether he listens to you or to me.”

Su Ying turned pale. Seeing his expression, Lin Zhiyu thought, Hah, you want to fight me? He decided to play the villain for once. “In any case, I’m warning you. You’d better not go around spreading rumors about your brother, or I’ll cut off your funding. We’ll let you study, but as for living expenses, you can ask your mother for them. Why are you looking for a ‘brother’? Is he your brother? Has he ever acknowledged you? He pays for your school, but what have you ever done for him!”

Lin Zhiyu got angrier as he spoke. “This whole family is bizarre. Bankruptcy was karma; debt is what you deserve. You treat him like this—you deserve to be struck by lightning!”

Su Ying was speechless. Su Zhengxiang stayed hidden in the kitchen. Song Yaju was still busy changing into a beautiful outfit, determined not to lose face in front of the Second Aunt’s family.

Meanwhile, Lin Rangchuan leaned against the wall with his backpack. His heart was being gently cradled and protected, and his chest was full of a bittersweet ache. He raised a hand to cover his eyes.

The frozen scene was finally broken when Song Yaju finished changing and came out. She didn’t notice the strange atmosphere in the living room and said dissatisfiedly, “Xiao Ying, why haven’t you changed yet? Hubby, you too! Hurry up, or we’ll be late.”

Lin Zhiyu ignored their family harmony and went back to the room. Lin Rangchuan was sitting there with his long legs splayed, looking as though he might have smoked a cigarette. But there was no smell of smoke.

As soon as Zhiyu walked over, Lin Rangchuan stood up, his tall frame looming over him. He supported the back of Zhiyu’s neck and kissed him. A wet, hot tongue swept through his mouth, swirling and sucking. Lin Zhiyu was forced to keep his mouth open to receive him. Saliva escaped uncontrollably, and the sucking made a wet, popping sound—lewd and uninhibited.

This kiss was more turbulent than usual. Lin Zhiyu couldn’t handle it and pushed him away. “What are you doing?”

Lin Rangchuan played the “pity” card: “My mouth was itchy.”

“…”

Lin Zhiyu let him kiss him a few more times before pushing him away and pulling out his phone to check for hotels in City A. The prices for decent ones were staggering; after all, it was the Spring Festival—prime time for overcharging.

He was considering whether to endure the financial pain when he suddenly asked, “Lou Chen said you usually don’t come back here for the New Year. So where do you usually live? It can’t be a hotel.”

Lin Rangchuan didn’t really want to say: “It’s not a hotel.” But he didn’t want to lie even more.

Lin Zhiyu closed the app. “Then we’ll just stay there! Why didn’t you say so earlier? Did you not want me to go?”

“I didn’t really want you to go,” Lin Rangchuan said indifferently.

Lin Zhiyu threw off his hand, jumping a few centimeters away in a mock tantrum. “Fine, Lin Rangchuan! You’re keeping secrets from me about this? Do you think I’m going to swindle you out of your house? Who cares!”

Lin Rangchuan held his wife down. “No, it’s just that the place… isn’t a good place.”

“What does that mean? Is it remote?” Lin Zhiyu tilted his head.

Lin Rangchuan stared at him, lost in thought. He wanted to laugh; his wife was so innocent and pure that when he heard “not a good place,” he only thought of “remote.”

“I’m not afraid of remote places,” Lin Zhiyu said bravely.

Lin Rangchuan’s brow tightened. He said with a half-smile, “I know. You’re afraid of ghosts.”

Lin Zhiyu stopped smiling. After a few seconds of silence, he said, “What do you know? A person needs a bit of ‘flawed beauty’ to be complete.”

Lin Rangchuan laughed. Lin Zhiyu shot him a look. “Don’t laugh, or I’ll be sad.”

“Okay, wife.”

Because one didn’t want to find a hotel and the other wouldn’t reveal the address of the other place, the two reached a stalemate and neither would leave.

“I’m hungry. Cook some noodles for me.” Lin Zhiyu lay on the bed like a “salted fish” playing on his phone. When he got tired, he gave a light kick toward Rangchuan.

Lin Rangchuan touched his foot and frowned. Lin Zhiyu pulled it back. “My feet won’t get warm here. So tell me where your real home is, and then I can get warm.”

Lin Rangchuan ignored him and got up to cook the noodles. Lin Zhiyu was too hungry to even play on his phone. Curse the algorithm—everything he scrolled past was food. He only had one egg for breakfast; how could that be enough? He waited and waited until he lost his patience and got out of bed.

As soon as he stepped out, he heard more than one voice coming from the kitchen. He instinctively lightened his steps and leaned in. The other voice was Song Yaju—how was she back so soon?

“Is it really this hard to borrow a bit of money from you? I came all the way back from Second Aunt’s just to get some money from my own son, and it’s this difficult? Who are you going to leave your money to when you die? That boyfriend of yours?”

“Mom really can’t understand why you’re a homosexual.”

Lin Zhiyu silently rolled his eyes. Did gay people offend you or something? Just as he was about to rush out, he heard Lin Rangchuan speak.

“I am not gay.”

Silence fell over the scene, as if the air itself had been frozen into ice. Lin Zhiyu’s movements stopped; his mind went blank.

Song Yaju was out of tricks. Su Zhengxiang was rushing her on the phone. With no other choice, she could only take the last of the family savings. “Forget the rest, but you must take care of Su Ying. I don’t know what’s wrong with him; he suddenly started crying in the car. Don’t tell me you scared him.”

Lin Rangchuan was pulling the noodles out of the pot, acting as if he hadn’t heard a word. Song Yaju was furious but could say nothing. She walked out with brisk steps. When she saw Lin Zhiyu, she just gave him a sharp glare and left in a hurry.

Then came Lin Rangchuan. He called out, “Wife, the noodles are ready.”

Lin Zhiyu blinked. “You’re not… gay?”

Lin Rangchuan knew he had heard everything and wasn’t surprised. “Is it important?”

“It’s not. Then why do you like me?” Lin Zhiyu asked softly.

In this weather, the noodles would get cold if they didn’t eat them soon. Lin Rangchuan helplessly bowed his head to kiss his cheek.

“Wife, you don’t know anything. The object of my sexual fantasies is you. The object of my wet dreams is you. When I watch ‘movies,’ I’m thinking of you.”

“It has nothing to do with gender.”

“I don’t even have a concept of ‘homosexual’ or ‘heterosexual.’ I just think that if you ever liked someone else, I would definitely commit suicide.”

“So, I am not gay.”

“I am simply, purely in love with you.”