My Nemesis and My Wife - Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Dog Shit.

“Jiang Yan, are you really like a dog that can’t stop eating shit? Why do you have to snatch everything of mine?”

“Teacher Jiang doesn’t mind, so why should I?” Qin Lan laughed with arrogant defiance, saying fiercely, “Director Yu, I’m ready.”

Yu Jintang wore an “auntie smile” on her face: “The two newlyweds… oh no, cough cough… the two teachers may begin.”

The background is 679 AD. Tubo sent envoys to Chang’an to ask for the hand of Empress Wu’s youngest daughter, Princess Taiping. Empress Wu was unwilling and used becoming a Daoist nun as an excuse to refuse the marriage alliance.

Taiping had long admired Shangguan Wan’er and used this as a pretext to test Shangguan’s feelings.

Shangguan Wan’er liked to read among flowers on summer evenings. Fragrance drifted in waves as the jade hosta flowers bloomed in profusion. Holding a jade hairpin in her hand, the Princess quietly approached from behind and patted her on the shoulder.

Qin Lan suppressed the urge to shiver, turned back, and recited the line: “Hmm? Princess.”

“Shangguan, Shangguan, come look at this trendy hairpin. It will surely look beautiful on your head.” Jiang Yan suddenly broke into a smile so sincere and beautiful that Qin Lan almost flubbed her line.

Qin Lan cursed inwardly but quickly adjusted her state, responding seriously: “Princess, this hairpin is precious; I am not worthy of it.”

“What do you mean ‘not worthy’?” Taiping pulled her hand, putting on an angry expression. “Wan’er is worthy of everything.”

Jiang Yan enunciated clearly, her ending notes carrying a deliberate softness that made Qin Lan’s heart tremble. Despite being mentally prepared, the moment Jiang Yan grasped her palm, Qin Lan still shuddered uncontrollably. It took her a beat to recalibrate.

The sensation of holding hands with her arch-nemesis made her entire body uncomfortable…

Damn Jiang Yan, why did she insist on acting opposite me!

Qin Lan began to concentrate, letting her expression truly enter the character. Her gaze steadied into a reserved smile, and a faint brightness appeared in her eyes as she looked at Jiang Yan: “Princess… you are too good to me.”

She saw Jiang Yan hesitate for a split second, as she had hoped. However, she was likely the only one who noticed, as the hand holding hers tightened.

Qin Lan felt extremely uneasy, stiffly waiting for the other person to speak. She heard the “fake” woman murmur: “How could there be anything Wan’er isn’t worthy of…”

The Princess placed the hairpin in her hair and hesitated for a moment: “Wan’er, do you know… about the Tubo envoys coming to propose marriage?”

The proposal from the Tubo envoys was a major event. Moreover, ever since Shangguan Wan’er had been removed from slave status, she had become a key female secretary groomed by Empress Wu; it was impossible for her not to know.

Shangguan Wan’er said: “I know.”

“Then you… what do you think?” Jiang Yan was a bit nervous, looking at her with hesitance.

Qin Lan knew that what followed was Taiping’s subtle confession scene, and she knew even better that Jiang Yan was acting.

But when her arch-enemy personally faced her and perfectly portrayed the sweetness and anticipation of a secret lover, her heart still felt like ten thousand horses falling silent.

Your most hated rival is confessing to you…

“I know the Empress loves the Princess and established a Daoist temple for her to prevent her from marrying far away.” Qin Lan avoided her gaze.

Taiping grew anxious: “I know what Mother means, but I’m asking what you mean?”

Shangguan Wan’er hesitated: “Tubo’s willingness to propose proves the Great Tang’s national strength is flourishing and the four barbarians are submissive. The Princess is radiant and her fame has spread far.”

Jiang Yan stared at her as if in disbelief: “Tubo wants to marry me… wants me to marry far away… to someone I’ve never even met… and is this all you think of?”

“Shangguan is first a subject of the Emperor and Empress, and second a citizen of the Great Tang,” Shangguan Wan’er replied.

Taiping gripped her hand tighter. Qin Lan felt her palm was damp, like a warm rain had fallen: “Are you not even a little bit sad? Even a little? I’m going to marry someone else!”

Shangguan Wan’er lowered her head.

A long, long time passed long enough for the light in Jiang Yan’s pupils to dim bit by bit. “I regard the Princess as my lord, as a dear friend, and as a sister.”

Jiang Yan could no longer smile at all.

Qin Lan was also stunned.

Just like that morning three years ago, when a drugged Qin Lan slowly woke up and recklessly stated she couldn’t take responsibility. At that time, Jiang Yan was just like she was now: pale as paper, bloodless.

Qin Lan had always been insensitive to emotional matters, but after acting in many films and shows, she could tell what was going on if she looked closely. Consequently, she felt even more guilty a guilt that had kept the proud, never-bowing Eldest Miss Qin feeling uneasy until now.

The Jiang Yan of two different timelines gradually overlapped. The Jiang Yan in front of her was clearly acting, yet no one would doubt the authenticity of her despair. It was as if she had truly been rejected by her lover; tears filled her eyes, and the rising and falling of her eyelashes became slow and stagnant. Sourness spread, and Qin Lan’s heart was gripped by the despair surrounding her. She began to feel intense guilt and remorse once more why was fate so heartless! It just had to let her sleep with her biggest rival in life…

How was she supposed to hold her head high and hate her after this!

When she realized that Jiang Yan’s pupils hadn’t left her face for a single second, she suddenly understood: it wasn’t that Jiang Yan’s acting was so exquisite it stole souls, but that this woman had simply projected herself into it. She was replicating the heartbreak and pain that had actually happened to her three years ago. Qin Lan was also caught by the similar scene and expression, to the point where she couldn’t snap out of it for a long time. From the side, it looked as if she were being completely overwhelmed by Jiang Yan’s acting.

“Cut,” Yu Jintang suddenly spoke. “That’s enough.”

“Teacher Jiang passed!” Two or three of Jiang Yan’s fans gave a small cheer.

“Congratulations, Teacher Jiang. This role is yours.” Yu Jintang exhaled and nodded to her.

Jiang Yan smiled a smile that was heartbreakingly beautiful. Her eyes were still fixed on Qin Lan; she looked like a drenched kitten, but her gaze was like a puppy’s: “Thank you for the cooperation, Teacher Qin.”

As if possessed, Qin Lan continued to stare back at her, her heart beating wildly. Then she snapped out of it: “Wait, so I was rejected?”

Yu Jintang was still staring at the monitor: “Didn’t you say just now that you wanted to try a character with a different style? It just so happens the role of Shangguan is given to you.”

Qin Lan had a belly full of fire with nowhere to vent. She turned in anger: “Jiang Yan, are you really like a dog that can’t stop eating shit? Why do you have to snatch everything of mine?”

Jiang Yan looked dignified and smiled. “Don’t speak about yourself that way.”

Qin Lan was about to go crazy with rage. She whipped her head around and walked away, her large waves drawing a perfect arc that smacked Yu Jintang in the face.

Yu Jintang wiped her face and had a small outburst: “…Please, actors, respect the director in the future.”

Everyone had expressions that said, They really are irreconcilable, and felt happy, joyful, proud, and honored that they could witness such a battlefield.

At 6:00 PM, two tall women walked into “Lei Jiang Yue.” Both wore hats and sunglasses; one even had her face completely covered with a mask.

“Do you two ladies have a reservation?” the waiter asked.

“Yu Jintang.” The woman with a cute face but a head full of safety pins spoke, her voice somewhat raspy.

The waiter nodded understandingly: “Please follow me.”

This restaurant was owned by Yang Xingji’s family. Their group of close friends could simply give their names when dining out; the restaurant permanently reserved private booths for the owners and their friends.

The two sat down. Qin Lan took off her hat and mask, lazily running a hand through her curls.

Yu Jintang ordered a bottle of red wine and set it aside to breathe, habitually asking Qin Lan: “Want some? Okay, no. Waiter, take away the extra glass.”

She struggled to take off the baseball cap adorned with five giant safety pins (because a lock of hair was caught in one). She ran her hand through her hair, revealing a row of shiny ear studs and green ear-hanging hair dye.

With the hat off, her face was fully revealed. She had the look of the girl next door—very sweet and cute—which formed a strong contrast with her otherwise non-mainstream outfit.

Yu Jintang took a few sips of wine, her expression looking a bit worried.

“Did you notice the people who came for the audition today?” she asked thoughtfully. “Fewer than I expected.”

“How many roles are still left?” Qin Lan asked.

“Wu Zetian—the most important role has no one to play it.” Yu Jintang sighed. “Among the female roles, Empress Wei and Princess Anle are still left. I’m not worried about extras, but there are many vacancies for lead actors. Honestly, I’m so grateful to Jiang Yan. If she hadn’t come, we would have been missing two of our three female leads.”

“I can ask some actors I’ve worked with before to see if they’re willing to help, but you’ll have to find a way for Wu Zetian yourself.” Qin Lan thought for a moment. “Do you have anyone in mind?”

Yu Jintang gave a bitter smile. “I contacted several seniors, but they all politely declined.”

Qin Lan was also a bit worried. “I’ll ask my aunt later to see if she’s willing to come out of retirement.”

Qin Lan’s aunt was a former movie queen who had left after winning all the major awards early on. She was currently said to be vacationing in the Southern Hemisphere.

Yu Jintang nodded reluctantly. “Aunt Qin is more than capable of playing Wu Zetian. The problem is the age isn’t quite right. I remember Aunt Qin isn’t even forty yet this year…”

“How old does Wu Zetian need to be?” Qin Lan had only looked at the character info for Shangguan Wan’er and Princess Taiping, thinking her aunt was old enough.

“At least fifty or older, right?” Yu Jintang said helplessly. “Wu Zetian’s life trajectory is too long; later on, we even need shots of her in her seventies or eighties. For the late-stage appearances, we can use makeup since makeup technology has improved. But the early filming period is long, and we need the actor to maintain the state of being in their fifties or sixties.”

Qin Lan failed once but continued with another plan: “Then I’ll have my aunt ask the veteran actors she’s worked with to see if anyone is willing to play the part.”

“That would work,” Yu Jintang nodded.

“Do you have any other plans?” Qin Lan raised her chin.

“Of course.” Yu Jintang pondered. “Later tonight, I’ll post on the ‘E-net’ forum to recruit actors… I hope there are suitable actors within our community. Posting as an admin carries a lot of influence.”

“I almost forgot you still have that channel,” Qin Lan said.

Yu Jintang cast aside her worries. Recalling Jiang Yan’s breathtaking acting during the audition, she couldn’t help but test the waters.

“By the way, did Jiang Yan go abroad for further studies without us knowing?”

Qin Lan poked a crab shell without appetite. Hearing this, she gave a cold sneer: “What ‘further studies’? She was clearly expressing genuine feelings.”

Yu Jintang tutted: “So three years ago, when Jiang Yan was slept with by you, she was actually willing…”

Qin Lan poked the crab shell viciously, making a hole in it. “Dead green tea! White lotus! Her heart is black as death! She was clearly scheming for a long time, just trying to get my attention!”

Yu Jintang’s expression became subtle: “Why do I feel like you’re actually enjoying it a little?”

Qin Lan glared at her: “What am I enjoying? Do I look like the kind of person who likes drinking ‘tea’?”

“Actually, have you ever thought that Jiang Yan is quite nice, except for being a bit ‘tea’ sometimes…”

“Her? Nice? What part of her is nice besides that face? She’s a ‘tea’ person with a poisonous tongue; if she jumped into the Yellow River, she could brew Longjing tea. If she opens her mouth to kiss someone, she could poison them to death. Who would like her???”

“Ooh, so you have kissed.”

Qin Lan flew into a rage: “Mention that again and I’m taking the national highway!” (Note: Slang for ‘going away’ or ‘leaving’).

“You two are on the hot search again.” Yu Jintang tutted. “There were too many different people today… want me to help take it down?”

Qin Lan took a glance. The topics were #JiangYanQinLanSnatchingRoles, #JiangYanActingPressure, and #QinLanActingSupportForJiangYan.

Every single one had high engagement.

After all, the two fanbases had torn into each other like that three years ago, followed by a long period of silence. For their first reunion after three years, she was mentally prepared; she even felt the hot search tags were too peaceful.

“This is just the beginning. Why take it down? Let it stay; consider it free promotion for your drama.”

Yu Jintang was thrilled but pretended to be calm, quietly swiping her screen to appreciate content Qin Lan hadn’t seen.

#QinLanInsultsJiangYanAsADog #JiangYanImpliesQinLanIsShit #QinLanLosesHerTemper #JiangYanTotalWin #JiangYanQinLanDogShit

Yu Jintang was about to die laughing. She couldn’t take it down; she had to keep evidence of this dark history for the future…

Her hand shook, and she slipped into the comment section of a major verified account. Suddenly, she saw someone comment: Full disclosure, I’m a fan of both individually, so is their CP name going to be called the ‘Dog-Shit CP’ from now on?

Yu Jintang’s eyes widened.

SpeakDirtyWordsThroughTheWindow: 666 (Awesome). IntrovertedSmallWoman: Black-fans racking their brains can’t beat a fan’s sudden flash of inspiration. DieselDriver: This is why CP fans are hated by everyone. NoApprentices: Then what are the CP fans called? Dog Poop?

The original poster replied: How great is that? After all, those are the names they personally gave to each other.

Yu Jintang glanced at the oblivious Qin Lan, calmly exited, locked her screen, and hid her phone.

Inside the van, the elegantly dressed and properly composed Jiang Yan stretched out her slender hand, logged into her burner account, paused for a moment, and posted a comment: Fuck your ‘Dog-Shit’ CP.

The assistant sitting next to her only felt a wave of icy air silently envelop the entire carriage.

She turned her head cautiously: “Sister, are you in a bad mood?”

“How could I be?” Jiang Yan smiled at her, poised and elegant. “My mood couldn’t be better.”

Then, maintaining her dignified expression, she continued to comment: Moron, from now on every CP you ship will be ‘Dog-Shit.’ Your whole family is ‘Dog-Shit.’

The original poster argued: How can you talk like that? The ‘leads’ said it themselves.

Jiang Yan smiled, smoothed her hair, and typed: Jiang Yan can be a dog, but Qin Lan can never be shit.

KillingPeopleWithoutWinking: Must be a Jiang Yan black-fan. ColdMelancholyDiorCEO: Recognized as a Qin Lan fan in a second. momo: Reported. JiangEmbracesMeUnderTheColdWater: Everyone, ignore this person. She is a black-fan of Yanyan. Welcome to support Yanyan’s new drama “The Stars and Fireworks Are All You.”

Qin Lan, completely unaware of all this, felt her mood improve slightly. Just as she stabbed a piece of chicken breast, her phone rang.

She took a glance. It was her manager: “Hello? Sister Bai.”

Bai Ai was about to die of anger: “Eldest Miss Qin, can’t you control that mouth of yours? I say you’re usually polite in your dealings with others, so why do you change the moment you face Jiang Yan? You two really are fated enemies, rivals. She must have taken your life in a past life.”

Bai Ai deeply regretted granting the assistant Xiao Qing temporary leave. She had been busy this afternoon and couldn’t get away, thinking that since it was Qin Lan’s childhood friend’s event, there shouldn’t be a problem, so she let Qin Lan go off on her own.

Qin Lan narrowed her eyes and stared coldly at Yu Jintang: “What else was on the hot search that you didn’t show me?”

Yu Jintang stood up quickly: “I’m going out for a smoke.”

“I don’t care if you smoke, but I can ‘smoke’ the life out of you right now!” Qin Lan climbed up with a menacing look. When she reached the booth door, she realized she wasn’t wearing a mask and had to stop. She shook her waist indignantly and retreated in frustration.

Bai Ai shouted at her phone for a long time without anyone listening: “Hello? Hello? Miss, are you listening? Are you still there? Eldest Miss Qin?”

“I’m alive.” Qin Lan took a breath. “Right now, immediately, take down the hot search and make everyone forget about this!!”

Bai Ai: “It’s already being taken down… I’m saying, you should control yourself next time. If you stop provoking Jiang Yan, I’ll thank the heavens and the earth.”

Qin Lan’s temper flared again, her eyelashes fluttering with rage: “I provoked her? I provoked her? Sister Bai, don’t just open your mouth and spray blood at people. It was Jiang Yan who suddenly went crazy and approached me! She snatched my role, Sister Bai! What happened to the unspoken agreement to never see each other again until we die?”

Bai Ai: “I’ve already contacted her manager. I’ve thought about it carefully—the other side might be trying to play dirty. Right now, it seems you explode whenever you encounter Jiang Yan. These hot search entries must have been bought by them, intentionally provoking you to set you up.”

Qin Lan said subconsciously: “She didn’t mean it that way.”

“Who is ‘she’? How do you know? Then what did she mean? Could it be that kind of meaning?” Bai Ai’s four questions and answers reached a conclusion: “Oh my god, Eldest Miss Qin, please tell me in advance next time if there’s any situation, okay?”

Qin Lan was so annoyed she wanted to smack herself.

She huffed in anger, slammed her phone down, and hung up.

The screen lit up; Bai Ai’s calling made the phone vibrate intensely.

Qin Lan turned it off.

The backup phone in her bag rang again.

Very few people called this number; only her parents and her manager Bai Ai knew it, so it was usually not muted. The ringtone was “The Mountain Lilies Bloom Red and Bright,” which was very ear-piercing.

She pressed the screen off and tossed it into her bag, but she couldn’t help but recall the last time she had heard that ringtone.

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