Lin Sanyuan stared blankly at the table full of dishes, waves crashing through her heart.
They had not only lived together, she had even brought Tang Hengzhi back to her hometown?
No wonder she was so familiar with Nanzhen.
Checking into the hotel, going home to grab clothes, packing up food…
Now that she thought about it, it all felt less like a one-off decision and more like instinct carved into her bones.
She knew how timid she was.
That was why she couldn’t imagine what it meant, secretly bringing a same-sex partner back home, knowing full well her family would never accept it.
What she found even harder to understand was why Tang Hengzhi had been willing to come with her at all, and in such a hidden, unacknowledged way.
How could she let herself be wronged like that?
Whether she liked men or women, someone as exceptional and perfect as her could go anywhere she pleased, openly and confidently, admired and respected by everyone.
Not choose someone like her, a coward who didn’t even dare to meet her halfway.
Only then did Lin Sanyuan realise how cruel her behaviour today must have been to Tang Hengzhi.
Because it felt as though she had left her alone in memories she herself had forgotten.
At the same time, she was confused.
How could Tang Hengzhi go this far?
Biting into a duck leg, Lin Sanyuan asked, “Miss Tang, what exactly do you like about me?”
One moment they were talking about eight dishes and a soup, the next, a soul-searching question.
Tang Hengzhi didn’t find it abrupt at all.
Lin Sanyuan hadn’t even asked whether she still liked her.
Because the Tang Hengzhi standing here in Nanzhen, soaked by the rain, already answered that question by her very presence.
Tang Hengzhi set down her chopsticks, pulled out a tissue to wipe her lips, then pressed them together slightly, placing both hands neatly on her lap.
“There’s no standard answer to liking you. As long as it fits the question, it’s full marks.”
And every answer she had gave her full marks.
What had sounded like a casual question from Lin Sanyuan was met with a serious, sincere reply. Even her steady tone carried a quiet warmth.
Lin Sanyuan found it hard to believe that one day she would be so thoroughly disarmed by someone’s words.
She had to admit, faced with this version of Tang Hengzhi, her heart was racing.
It wasn’t some hazy, romantic flutter, it was as if her quiet, settled heart had been torn open in an instant, revealing a truth that had long since taken root beyond cure.
So annoying.
Liking someone was so annoying.
This loss of control was unbearable.
A flicker of panic crept in, Tang Hengzhi had answered her question, and with a perfect response at that.
If Tang Hengzhi asked her the same question in return, what would she do?
She wouldn’t be able to answer.
And she didn’t want to brush it off with the excuse of amnesia, it would make her seem heartless.
Fortunately, Tang Hengzhi didn’t ask anything. Perhaps she sensed the atmosphere growing heavy.
She unscrewed a bottle of water and handed it over. “The dishes tonight are a bit salty. Have some water.”
Neither of them had much of an appetite, and quite a lot of food was left. Normally, Lin Sanyuan would have found that wasteful, but with the New Year atmosphere, she followed the idea of abundance and simply packed everything away. After that, she had nothing to do.
Tang Hengzhi went to the bathroom to freshen up again. When she came out, she saw Lin Sanyuan bent over, holding a small birdcage-like electric heater, just slightly bigger than her face, plugging it into a socket.
It looked a little odd.
But Tang Hengzhi didn’t say anything.
Every year near the New Year, Nanzhen would have days of heavy rain and snow, with dampness seeping into everything. Hotel quilts weren’t aired out like those at home, so they always felt cool and slightly clammy.
And in small-town hotels, the heating was never strong enough. Since they had driven here, Lin Sanyuan had come well-prepared, even bringing along a small electric heater.
This heater, durable as ever, was already the fourth time Tang Hengzhi had seen it.
Leaning against the bathroom doorframe, she watched the slender figure busy at work, a clear smile in her eyes.
So when Lin Sanyuan straightened up after plugging it in and turned around, she met that impossibly gentle gaze and her heart skipped. “Why aren’t you saying anything, just staring at me like that?”
Looking at her crouched on the floor, Tang Hengzhi suddenly made a rather odd request. “Can you stand up?”
“Huh? Why?” Lin Sanyuan was baffled.
Tang Hengzhi walked over and crouched beside her. She was much taller, even barefoot she stood at about one metre seventy-two.
So even though they were both crouching, her proximity still carried a sense of pressure, as if she might envelop her entirely.
Lin Sanyuan didn’t know whether she was serious about wanting her to stand up. If she was, why come so close all of a sudden?
Startled, her legs gave way. Instead of standing, she dropped straight onto the floor.
Now she was even shorter.
Tang Hengzhi crouched there, arms wrapped around herself, her cheek resting against her forearms. Her long black hair fell softly, a strand draping over her collarbone. Her voice was languid and relaxed. “If you don’t get up soon, I might feel like hugging you.”
Lin Sanyuan’s lips parted slightly. Under that open, unhidden gaze, her legs trembled even more.
Damn, that doesn’t look like she only wants to hug me.
A tightness formed low in her abdomen. Bracing herself against the sofa, she hurried to stand up.
Tang Hengzhi seemed completely unaware of how dangerous her words sounded. Still crouched beside the small heater, bathed in its warm glow, she looked gentle and soft.
She rubbed her cheek lightly against her arm, like a lazy cat basking by a winter fire, her voice quiet. “Are you planning to go back?”
She hadn’t quite concealed the possessiveness in her gaze earlier. Someone as sensitive as Lin Sanyuan would definitely have picked up on it.
And she was the most timid of all, she would surely run away.
A timid little deer’s usual trick.
Sitting on the sofa, Lin Sanyuan took out her phone. “It’s still early. I’ll stay a bit longer.”
Tang Hengzhi hadn’t expected that answer and froze.
Lin Sanyuan thought of it this way, it was the New Year, everyone else was with their families, lively and warm.
Even if she hadn’t been the one to invite Tang Hengzhi here, the thought of leaving her alone in this cold, quiet hotel room didn’t sit right with her.
At home, her relatives would be playing cards and mahjong all night anyway, noisy until morning. She wouldn’t be sleeping early either.
There were things she hadn’t asked, but she was sensitive enough to sense them. Even though they had been together for three years…
For three consecutive years, Tang Hengzhi had chosen not to go home, instead coming to her small town to spend New Year with her in a hotel. No matter how she looked at it, there had to be issues with her family.
After all, Tang Hengzhi seemed very different from her. When it came to liking women, she was far more open and at ease.
Lin Sanyuan had too many concerns, about family, about finances.
Even Qiao Lian had gone back to spend New Year with her father this year.
But Tang Hengzhi still seemed to be alone.
Lin Sanyuan’s mind spun with countless unverified stories.
She didn’t feel comfortable asking directly, and she wasn’t good at conversation anyway. Not wanting to leave, she just scrolled through Weibo on her phone.
Tang Hengzhi was just as quiet. If Lin Sanyuan didn’t speak, she could remain still like a piece of wood, crouched on the floor without even changing posture.
After fifteen minutes of scrolling, Lin Sanyuan’s shoulders began to stiffen, and she finally noticed something was off.
“Miss Tang, have your legs gone numb from squatting?”
Tang Hengzhi pressed her lips together and denied it. “No.”
Really?
Lin Sanyuan lightly nudged her leg with her own.
“Hiss……”
What kind of sound was that?
Caught between laughter and exasperation, Lin Sanyuan quickly helped her up. “Come on, seriously? Your legs are numb and you didn’t notice? Slow down, don’t move too fast, let it ease first…”
If she hadn’t called her out, was she planning to squat there all night?
A faint blush crept over Tang Hengzhi’s ears. After being carefully helped onto the bed and tucked in, she finally spoke. “Are you planning to go back?”
Lin Sanyuan paused, suddenly realising she might have misunderstood. Was Tang Hengzhi actually trying to politely ask her to leave?
At that thought, her whole face flushed red. She stammered, “Oh… oh, it’s getting late, I’ll head back then.”
It had only been fifteen minutes since she’d said it was still early.
Seeing her expression, Tang Hengzhi knew she had misunderstood. A flicker of panic crossed her face as she grabbed her wrist. “That’s not what I meant.”
She kept asking whether she was planning to leave, only because she was afraid she really would.
Lin Sanyuan’s breath faltered for a second. She looked at the hand gripping her wrist, the tendons standing out with the force of it.
Her nose tingled slightly. In a soft, breathy voice, she said, “Then I’ll stay a bit longer?”
Tang Hengzhi gave a quiet hum and slowly let go.
Lin Sanyuan was about to return to the sofa when Tang Hengzhi spoke again. “The sofa’s a bit small. It’s not very comfortable to lean on. Do you want to sit on the bed instead?”
Even though she knew Tang Hengzhi wasn’t like those sleazy men, the suggestion still made her expression shift slightly. “I haven’t showered.”
“Then… go take a shower?” Tang Hengzhi said, completely unaware of anything odd.
Lin Sanyuan’s expression became even more colourful. She stood there, unmoving, lightly nudging the carpet with her foot, fluffing up its soft fibres.
She lowered her head in silence for a while, then looked up at her again, as if wanting to say something but hesitating.
Tang Hengzhi frowned, finally sensing something off, just about to correct herself when Lin Sanyuan spoke first.
“Miss Tang, this might not be very likely, but tonight… are you trying to sleep with me?”
Tang Hengzhi froze.
Lin Sanyuan froze as well.
Seeing her reaction, Lin Sanyuan immediately realised she had misunderstood. Her face burned. “I’m going to shower!”
She spent a full forty minutes in the bathroom, even washing her hair, taking her time until the awkwardness faded.
Finally, wearing a hoodie and hotel slippers, she stepped out. Just as she was about to lift the blanket and sit on the other side of the bed, Tang Hengzhi suddenly spoke.
“Can I?”
