My Husband Can't Possibly Be a Tyrant Emperor! - Chapter 1

A green ox-drawn carriage with a purple bamboo canopy. Kuang Xuexian sat upright inside.

On both sides of the road, countless people knelt in worship, their weeping echoing along the path. Yet his gaze remained calm and indifferent. A fine silk scarf lightly wrapped around his ink-black hair, its corners fluttering in the wind like gentle ripples on still water.

A young minister, hailed as the foremost strategist of the court, he had turned the tide in times of chaos and upheld the nation in its peril. Now, with the country at peace and the people secure, he could finally hang up his official seal and retreat to the bamboo groves and mountain streams.

Once the task was done, he brushed off his robes and departed, leaving behind neither fame nor merit. A flawless act of effortless mastery, perfected to the last detail.

The steady clop of the ox’s hooves faded into the distance, eventually merging with the misty waters until it vanished without a trace.

Kuang Xuexian: “Why haven’t you called ‘cut’ yet?”

System: “Congratulations, dear host! Your final mission has been successfully completed. You can finally retire!” Ah.

After waiting and waiting, this day has finally come. After hoping and hoping, the dream has finally been realized.

From now on, I’ll rise above the toil and sing my own song.

System: “According to the contract, after an honorable retirement, you may choose to be reborn in any of the dozens of parallel worlds you’ve traversed! Now that you’ve mastered everything from music and chess to calligraphy, painting, and all eighteen martial arts, even starting from scratch, you’ll surely recreate the legend of a magnate and enjoy boundless wealth!”

Kuang Xuexian: “Hmm”

System: “Speak your mind!”

Since joining the Fast Transmigration Department’s Bigshot System, Kuang Xuexian had gone from a rookie who would flee at the sight of blood to a formidable figure who rose to the highest ranks of power. He had been a strategist with a feather fan and silk headscarf, and an assassin who traversed the nine realms alone with a single sword. He had braved countless mountains of blades, seas of blood, and treacherous courts. Now, though he was learned in all fields, could shoot an arrow through a willow leaf, and could achieve greatness in both civil and martial pursuits, he had long grown weary of the life of a bigshot.

“I just want to be an ordinary person and live a simple life.”

System: “Huh? Are you addicted to showing off?”

Kuang Xuexian: “Never mind, you wouldn’t understand.”

System: “Send me to a world where almost no one knows me, and let me live as an ordinary person there!”

The system fell silent for a long time before its voice turned mechanical. “Screening based on retired employee’s request. This system selects for you the Great Zhou Dynasty.”

“That sounds vaguely familiar.”

“It was the first world you transmigrated to. As an intern in the Fast Transmigration Department, you played a very brief extra role there.”

It seemed like when he first encountered the system, he couldn’t remember which year it was. He vaguely recalled it being a “major scene”—a palace coup or something. Anyway, he wasn’t the protagonist. What left the deepest impression was that as soon as he transmigrated, he saw towering crimson flames, a sea of fire redder than anything he’d ever seen, like a scene from an anime. Looking back now, he still didn’t understand why the fire was so red. At the time, he thought he’d been sent straight to hell.

The system ordered him to rescue people. Crying hysterically, he and a group of interns dressed as palace servants saved people from the fire. In the end, he actually passed the assessment.

System: “You spent the shortest time in this world and remained the most obscure. Moreover, this world is about to enter an era where bigshots will emerge one after another, perfectly fitting your requirements.”

Trusting his colleague implicitly, he nodded. “Alright, then. That’s the one.”

And then

They killed the donkey after it had ground the grain. They cooked the hound once the hare was caught. Workers are nothing but beasts of burden in the eyes of capital!

After all his hard work, this is the treatment he gets upon retirement?

System, you’re inhuman!

After crossing over, Kuang Xuexian discovered that although the Great Zhou Dynasty he had been reborn into was the most powerful and prosperous empire in the Central Plains of this world, it was a pity that the dynasty’s vitality, which had lasted for nearly three hundred years, was now at its end. The court was dominated by powerful relatives of the empress, and internal strife was constant.

Especially now, having just experienced the bloody “Three Dragons Contending for the Throne” incident, the current emperor was a profligate and capricious tyrant.

It seemed that a change of dynasty was not far off.

The so-called era of great figures about to emerge was likely to be a chaotic period akin to the Five Dynasties and Ten Kingdoms, a great survival battle among heroes!

Fortunately, he had just concluded his life in the “Big Shot System.” While he might lack other things, his mindset was remarkably steady. Taking advantage of the current relative peace, he felt it was even more important to seize the time and enjoy the remaining good days.

He gained a general understanding of the world within the Han cultural sphere. Currently, the Great Zhou was still the most developed and powerful dynasty, followed by the newly established Da Yue in the north—a nation blending Hu and Han cultures—and then smaller tributary states like Lang and Tian.

Ultimately, he chose to settle in Shuangluan City within the Great Zhou.

This was the former capital of the Great Yong Dynasty. Back when Emperor Chengzu of the Great Zhou unified the realm, Shuangluan City was incorporated into the Great Zhou’s territory. With the foundation of the old capital intact, it gradually developed into the second-largest city of the Great Zhou, referred to by its people as the Western Capital.

It stood in distant opposition to the Eastern Capital, Jiantai City.

Now, the conflicts and casualties of the dynasty were concentrated in the Eastern Capital, Jiantai City. At least in Shuangluan City, far from the emperor’s reach, the turmoil had yet to affect it, and it still retained the splendor of a gilded empire. The people were prosperous, and the customs were open—it was a time of utmost extravagance and indulgence.

He bought a small shop on the bustling Jinwu Street in the city center. With many skills at his disposal, he chose the quietest and least troublesome one: opening a bookstore specializing in the short stories he wrote himself, even illustrating them entirely on his own.

Compared to genuine ancient people, he possessed the accumulated knowledge of thousands of years, giving him a crushing advantage. His short stories quickly gained popularity in Shuangluan City due to their unique style. Despite the modest size of his shop, he earned a substantial income, and he set his own opening and closing hours, living a carefree and joyful life.

Now that he seemed to have everything, he began considering finding a partner. After all, as a young man, he still had basic physical and emotional needs.

Since he wanted to live an ordinary life, he wasn’t seeking a passionate romance but rather a compatible and moderately handsome young man to share a simple, peaceful life with.

His requirements weren’t high, and he initially kept his search for a partner very low-key.

There were no dating apps in ancient times, but fortunately, the customs of the Great Zhou were quite open, and male relationships were especially prevalent, with several male-oriented entertainment venues in Shuangluan City.

However, after searching for a while, he discovered a problem.

What he considered “not too high” requirements were actually quite stringent in ancient times.

Ancient same-sex relationships differed from modern ones; many ancient men involved in such relationships weren’t truly homosexual. In the vast sea of people, finding a genuinely compatible gay man was already difficult, and finding one willing to formally marry and settle down with another man was even harder.

The kind of man he wanted was essentially an anomaly in ancient times—someone who genuinely liked men and had enough courage.

He pondered for a long time but had no idea where to find such a person. In any case, relying solely on his own slow search was definitely insufficient. He needed to make people with such intentions come to him instead.

After much deliberation, a bold idea came to him. A bridal bouquet toss to find a husband. It was sensational enough to set the entire city abuzz. In such a large city, surely there would be a few like-minded individuals, right?

If he became too famous and his life was affected, it wouldn’t matter—he could simply move elsewhere. Information traveled so slowly in ancient times. Once he left Shuangluan City, who would recognize an ordinary person like him?

Perhaps because he had traveled through time too many times, even the most outrageous and shocking things that others might find appalling didn’t seem like a big deal to him.

And so, he immediately put his plan into action.

Just as he had anticipated, while it was common in operas for a young lady from a noble family to toss a bridal bouquet to find a husband, it was unheard of for a man to toss a bouquet to find another man. It was truly the most novel event in the world.

Thus, news of his plan to hold a bridal bouquet toss at the famous Ruyi Tower in Shuangluan City quickly spread throughout the city.

The news was so explosive that it even overshadowed the arrival of a distinguished guest at the old palace in Shuangluan City.

The old palace of Shuangluan City had been burned down during the Twin Dragons War a century ago, with most of its halls reduced to ashes. The remaining smaller portion was later converted into a temporary imperial residence for the royal family during their western tours, named the Phoenix Pavilion. As Shuangluan City expanded southward, the old palace in the northern part of the city became a royal forbidden zone, and its surroundings gradually fell into desolation. The western gate of the old palace faced the Wangfeng Gate to the northwest. Wangfeng Gate was not a main city gate and was rarely opened. The imperial road leading to it was overgrown with weeds, and few people visited on ordinary days. Today, however, it was bustling with carriages and horses. Led by the Prince of Fu, the governor of the Western Capital, along with the local officials of the Western Capital, they stood in two neat rows, gathered outside the western gate of the temporary palace.

At this moment, the crimson sunset, as large as a wheel, hung low on the horizon, dyeing the desolate fields and overgrown grass red and making the newly arranged ceremonial procession even more magnificent and vibrant. The golden banners of the Fu family, adorned with the sun, moon, and stars, surrounded the emperor’s black-and-gold imperial canopy. The canopy’s dark satin surface was embroidered with coiled golden dragons, their scales and claws hidden among the cloud patterns, exuding a domineering aura as if ready to swallow the heavens. The palace attendants, dressed in brocade robes, carried feathered canopies that shimmered with dazzling colors, resembling a celestial procession.

Under the crimson sky, a flock of crows flapped their wings as they flew over the ceremonial procession, their black feathers tinged with golden light. They cawed and landed on the walls of the old palace.

Despite the grandeur of the procession, not a single cough could be heard, only the faint rustling of footsteps. The silence was almost eerie.

Everyone knelt in unison, yet no one dared to make a sound. The young emperor in the imperial carriage seemed to be asleep, leaning listlessly in the black carriage carried by twelve bearers, slowly passing through the kneeling crowd.

Among the kneeling officials below, many were already drenched in cold sweat. The imperial entourage had arrived in Shuangluan City unexpectedly. The emperor had originally intended to visit Huangzhou to admire the spring plum blossoms.

For this reason, the officials in Huangzhou had been preparing for the imperial visit since the beginning of the year. It was said that, to please the emperor, they had specially cultivated vast plum gardens covering the mountains and fields. The imperial princess, Princess Xiangguo, was currently in Huangzhou enjoying the plum blossoms.

But then, the emperor suddenly changed his route and came to Shuangluan City. Ever since receiving the notification from the Golden Armor Guards, the officials of Shuangluan City had been trembling with fear.

The current emperor was notoriously difficult to please, with a fiery temper, and in recent years, his moods had become particularly unpredictable. It was said that when he was in Dengzhou, he had dismissed several officials simply because they spoke too loudly and annoyed him.

One of those officials was a favored disciple of Prime Minister Xie, yet even that couldn’t save his official position!

Thus, the officials of Shuangluan City grew increasingly cautious and attentive in their service. Upon hearing that the emperor favored extravagance and had been collecting treasures of gold and silver everywhere during his tour, they did not wait for the emperor’s request but sent carts laden with precious jewels and antiques to the Fengluan Palace.

And then…

Officials covered in wounds were continuously dragged out by carts.

On the open ground outside Fengluan Palace, over a dozen officials who had been summoned by imperial decree to “accompany” the emperor in archery knelt trembling on the ground. Their black gauze caps, which should have been worn on their heads, were pierced by arrows and pinned to the arrow shafts behind them.

On the ground, there were still traces of blood dragged along.

The Governor of Xijing knelt prostrate outside the hall, still kowtowing as he pleaded, “Your subjects truly only inquired whether the palace attendants were serving Your Majesty well, with absolutely no intention of spying or monitoring!”

Early spring had just arrived, and the weather remained cold. Fengluan Palace was vast and desolate, causing his voice to echo mournfully beneath the corridors.

Soon, a plump, fair-skinned eunuch emerged from within.

Upon seeing him, the Governor of Xijing kowtowed even more fervently.

The eunuch walked up to him and said softly, “Lord Liu, His Majesty says you are to come at this same hour tomorrow to accompany him in archery.”

The Governor of Xijing: “…”

The Governor of Xijing’s cries abruptly ceased.

An image of the emperor’s young, fair-skinned face flashed through his mind.

A handsome youth in brocade robes and a golden crown—in truth, he was a vicious dragon, a man-eating dragon who showed no mercy!

Fengluan Palace finally fell completely silent.

The main hall of Fengluan Palace had been decorated just two days prior, but the palace was old, and the juxtaposition of new and old created a decaying yet captivating beauty. In the bedchamber stood an enormous black-and-gold screen, nearly two zhang tall. Golden dragons wove across the black surface, coiled and imposing. The gilded relief of the dragon’s body resembled rolling, majestic mountain ranges, while the dragon’s head was ferocious and terrifying, almost bursting forth from the screen. At that moment, the window was wide open, and the morning light slanted across it, casting a shimmering golden glow.

The emperor wore a black kesi satin robe embroidered with images of the sun, moon, and stars adorned with gold and silver threads. As he moved, the two colors shimmered and flowed.

Yet his robe was half-open to the hips, revealing his fair, muscular chest and abdomen. His snow-white inner garment was clean yet disheveled, exuding an air of unrestrained indulgence.

The emperor was feeding crows.

Fengluan Palace had even more crows than the imperial palace of Jiantai. They flew into the hall, a dark, fluttering mass.

The emperor had barely touched his breakfast, and his face bore a weary expression of utter boredom.

The plump young eunuch stepped forward and whispered, “If Your Majesty finds the traveling palace dull, perhaps we could stroll into the city? This servant just heard of something most peculiar. The people of Xijing are truly astonishing—there is a man throwing an embroidered ball to choose a husband for himself!”

Perhaps it was too novel, for indeed, the emperor looked up curiously.

His face was handsome, with a deceptive appearance of good temper, but his pupils were pitch-black, seemingly darker, deeper, and more sinister than those of ordinary people. The enormous golden dragon behind him, almost bursting from the screen, seemed more like his true form.

The eunuch cautiously asked, “Shall this servant accompany Your Majesty to see the spectacle?”