My Childhood Friend is Secretly in Love with Me - Chapter 20

“Auntie Chen, do you allow me to like Qi Yan?”

After parting ways with Senior Liang Yi in the afternoon, Zuo Yi dropped the portable equipment he had purchased back at the apartment. Without a moment of rest, he rushed to the hospital to pick up Qi Yan. By the time he arrived, it was nearly dusk.

On his way to the hospital, he sent a message to Qi Yan saying he had gone home; he did not tell him that he was actually coming back to the hospital.

As Zuo Yi stepped out of the inpatient elevator, he happened to see Ding Wenxiao and Qi Yan pushing open the stairwell security door to step outside.

Before he could call out to them, their figures vanished behind the door. Zuo Yi followed them.

The security door was slightly broken and could not close tightly, leaving a large gap. Zuo Yi hid behind the door, planning to wait for them to come back in and scare them.

Two clicks of a lighter sounded, waking the sound-activated lights in the stairwell.

Zuo Yi stole a glance. Ding Wenxiao stood with her back to the door, her right hand holding a slim cigarette. Qi Yan leaned against the wall, blowing out a ring of smoke; his face looked dejected.

Zuo Yi instantly lost the desire to play a prank. He wanted to push the door open and chat with them, but then a voice stopped him.

“Auntie Chen just mentioned wanting to see Uncle Qi. What do you plan to do?”

Ding Wenxiao’s voice halted his movements.

“There is nothing worth seeing.”

“But this is Auntie Chen’s final wish.”

No answer came from Qi Yan for a long time. Zuo Yi felt a sharp pang in his heart.

“Brother Yan, I was there too when that incident happened.”

The stairwell light went out, leaving only two cigarette butts glowing a brilliant scarlet in the darkness.

Zuo Yi’s palms began to sweat as he gripped the hem of his shirt. He knew that Ding Wenxiao’s next words would reveal the answer he had been seeking. He adjusted his breathing silently, waiting.

“Auntie Chen did not push that pregnant woman. If Uncle Qi does not believe it, I can testify for her.”

“It is not necessary.”

“Brother Qi Yan! Can you please let yourself off? It was clearly that mistress who deliberately came to the door the night before your exams to cause trouble. She fell down the stairs and lost the child herself. Why should you and Auntie Chen live with that condemnation for the rest of your lives? Auntie Chen is already like this. Let her see Uncle Qi and set the record straight.”

“Explaining whose fault it was is pointless. Life is innocent. We watched that child turn into a pool of blood with our own eyes. In two more months, he could have seen the world.” Qi Yan asked calmly, “If we explain it clearly, can that child be born safely? Can my mother live?”

“At least your future days could be a bit easier,” Ding Wenxiao sniffled, her voice choking up uncontrollably.

Zuo Yi felt a suffocating weight in his chest, like a giant boulder. So that was the reason Qi Yan and Auntie Chen left the courtyard, because of such a senseless disaster. He dared not think about how Qi Yan managed to enter the exam hall to finish his tests after such an event, or how he had supported himself until now.

No wonder Grandma Liu kept saying it was the adults’ fault.

And no wonder everyone in the courtyard remained silent whenever he asked.

They were all trying their best to forget this tragic accident. They protected Qi Yan and Auntie Chen through their silence.

Hearing the sound of them extinguishing their cigarettes, Zuo Yi turned and ran back to the elevator, frantically pressing the button. Fortunately, the elevator was still on their floor, and he managed to leave before being discovered.

Zuo Yi walked through the streets like a lost soul.

It was sunset. The clouds at the edge of the sky were burned a fiery red by the setting sun. Passersby stopped to take photos of the view, but Zuo Yi could only imagine it as an innocent life slowly turning into a pool of blood. The image was grotesque, terrifying, and full of despair.

Just imagining it made it hard to breathe. For those who experienced it, that memory must have become a crushing weight, pressing down on the hearts of kind people for a lifetime.

He walked from dusk until dark. There was one thing Zuo Yi could not understand: why did that woman suddenly show up at the door while pregnant, taking such a huge risk? If it were for status, she could have waited until the child was born safely. Choosing the eve of Qi Yan’s exams to cause a scene was clearly intended to ruin his future; she did not care about the safety of the child in her womb at all.

When Zuo Yi returned to the apartment, Qi Yan was still not back. After organizing the equipment he bought, he saw it was already past 9:00 PM. Remembering Qi Yan was in a bad mood, he did not want to rush him.

By 11:00 PM, Zuo Yi was planning to sleep, but there was still no sign of Qi Yan. He could not help but send a message.

[Zorro: Brother Yan, when are you coming home?]

[1: I am not coming back tonight. Do not wait for me.]

[Zorro: Not coming back?]

[1: Go to sleep early.]

[Zorro: Then where are you staying the night?]

[Zorro: At the hospital?]

[Zorro: Where are you?]

All three messages went into the void. Zuo Yi felt a sudden wave of unease.

Ever since that phone call in the afternoon, he felt Qi Yan was acting strange. Having heard the conversation at the hospital, he knew Qi Yan’s state was very poor, even in the darkness of the stairwell.

He frustratedly ruffled his hair. He had been busy with training lately. They had agreed to take turns caring for Auntie Chen, but Qi Yan had been at the hospital personally these last two days and had not gone to work at the restaurant.

The more Zuo Yi thought about it, the more wrong it felt. A cold chill ran from his feet through his whole body, and his sleepiness vanished. He grabbed a jacket and ran out the door; he had to find Qi Yan to feel at peace.

He called for a car while waiting for the elevator. Luckily, there was no traffic at midnight, and he reached the hospital in twenty minutes.

The ward lights were usually turned off after 10:00 PM. Zuo Yi stood at the nurse’s station, looking at the only private room with the lights still on. His heart was in his throat.

His feet felt as if they were filled with lead; suddenly, he could not move a single step.

Ding Wenxiao suddenly walked out of the room crying. She saw Zuo Yi standing there in his house slippers, staring blankly at the door. She could no longer control her emotions and rushed to hug him tightly.

Zuo Yi seemed to understand something. He forced a smile and asked, “Sister Xiao, why have you not gone back to school? It is very late.”

Ding Wenxiao froze. She said in a hoarse, difficult voice, “Auntie Chen is not going to make it.”

Auntie Chen was not going to make it.

Those simple words felt like a thunderbolt, striking Zuo Yi and shattering his heart. He could not breathe.

The image of Qi Yan crying in his sleep the night before flashed before his eyes. He had been so helpless.

If Auntie Chen really left, how would Qi Yan live on?

The home he had desired since childhood, was it really about to break apart?

Zuo Yi dragged his heavy steps toward the ward. In this moment, besides sorrow, he was afraid. He was afraid to face Qi Yan. He was afraid to see a Qi Yan who was covered in wounds but pretending to be strong.

He would rush to the side of his deity without hesitation to shield him from the coming blizzard.

If he did that, would his secret be exposed? Would he no longer be able to hide it?

He finally reached the door. The ward was very quiet. The doctor and two nurses were standing behind the blue curtain. Zuo Yi immediately saw Qi Yan’s bloodshot eyes. His face showed no sign of grief, but his hands were gripping Auntie Chen’s right hand so tightly that his knuckles were white.

Qi Yan looked up and saw Zuo Yi. They looked at each other, and the silence spoke louder than words.

Zuo Yi walked to the bedside. Auntie Chen was half-conscious. When she saw Zuo Yi, she managed a small smile. Her mouth moved, but she could not make a sound.

He knew what she wanted to say to him. He still owed her a secret.

Zuo Yi knelt by the bed and whispered into Auntie Chen’s ear, “Auntie Chen, we agreed that I would tell you this secret after you recovered. You are cheating by doing this.”

Chen Xin moved her fingers. Qi Yan let go of her hand and placed his hand gently on Zuo Yi’s arm.

“I will tell you now, but please keep it a secret for me, okay?” Zuo Yi felt Auntie Chen’s fingertip tap lightly on his arm. It was her way of agreeing.

He leaned closer to her ear and whispered, “Actually, I like Qi Yan very much. The kind of liking where I want to spend my whole life with him. So please rest assured that I will take care of him in your place. No matter the identity or the way, I will always stay by his side and never leave. As long as I am here, he will have a home.” Zuo Yi paused and asked, “Auntie Chen, do you allow me to like Qi Yan?”

Just as he finished, he felt her fingertip tap his arm again.

She allowed it.

Tears finally broke free and streamed down his face. Zuo Yi took Auntie Chen’s hand and held it tight.

But soon, he returned her hand to Qi Yan’s grasp and stepped back to stand with Ding Wenxiao.

As Qi Yan took his mother’s hand, he tried to use his other hand to wipe a tear from her eye. He felt the hand, as thin as withered wood, lose all its strength and nearly slip from his palm.

Then, the heart monitor let out a sharp, continuous beep.

“Auntie Chen!” Ding Wenxiao cried out in despair. Zuo Yi bit his lip to keep from sobbing aloud.

“Ms. Chen Xin passed away at 12:16 AM on October 4, 2023. My condolences to the family.”

After announcing the time, the doctor tried to take Chen Xin’s hand from Qi Yan, but Qi Yan held on firmly.

“Her hand is still warm.”

Zuo Yi walked over and quietly asked the doctor to give them a little more time. This was not the first time the doctor had experienced a patient passing away; he understood the family’s feelings and nodded, leading the nurses out.

He then led Ding Wenxiao out of the room to give Qi Yan time to say goodbye to his mother alone.

Until the moment Chen Xin was placed in the funeral car, Qi Yan did not say a word, and no one saw him shed a tear.

But Zuo Yi knew it was because the pain was so deep that he had forgotten how to cry.

That night, Ding Wenxiao and Zuo Yi accompanied Qi Yan back to the apartment to organize Chen Xin’s belongings. Back at the apartment, Zuo Yi took Qi Yan’s wrist and led him to the sofa. Only the floor lamp in the living room was on. Zuo Yi knelt by the sofa and said softly, “Did we not agree that you would not carry it all alone?”

Qi Yan did not react. He just stared blankly in one direction, as if he had isolated himself from the world.

“I am here. I am here.” Zuo Yi took Qi Yan’s hand. The early autumn night air was cool, but Qi Yan’s hand was as cold as if it had been frozen by a century-old glacier.

Qi Yan did not say a word. Zuo Yi stayed with him in the living room all night.

The next morning, Ding Wenxiao came into the living room with a photo of Auntie Chen and the documents needed for the account cancellation. She saw that a layer of dark stubble had already appeared on Qi Yan’s chin. She hesitated to speak.

Zuo Yi forced himself to stand up. Having sat cross-legged on the floor all night, his legs were numb.

Ding Wenxiao’s eyes were severely swollen from crying all night. Zuo Yi took the documents and photo from her and said, “I will go handle the account cancellation. You stay here and keep Brother Yan company.”

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