My Childhood Friend is Secretly in Love with Me - Chapter 17

“I know Xiao Yi has grown up”

“I am fine; I am just tired.” Qi Yan smiled at him, reaching out to grab his wrist and pulling him toward a seat. “Sit with me for a while.”

Zuo Yi sat down, looking at the cigarette butts littering the ground, then glanced sideways at the dark circles under Qi Yan’s eyes. What on earth had happened to make him look so haggard overnight?

Zuo Yi’s heart twinged with pity. He draped his arm over the back of Qi Yan’s chair, seemingly just resting it there, but in reality, his hand hovered just above Qi Yan’s back in a silent embrace.

He desperately wanted to ruffle Qi Yan’s hair and tell him that his shoulder would always be there; if he were tired, he could lean on it at any time.

They sat there until Qi Yan finished his last cigarette. Only then did he speak in a raspy voice, “Let us go up.”

Zuo Yi followed quietly behind Qi Yan. He was still wearing the same white shirt and black jeans. From the straight line of his back, he still looked like the same aloof, meticulous top student from years ago.

To outsiders, it must have seemed like Qi Yan held the script of a protagonist, blessed with a genius intellect and looks that could rival Pan An. It was as if his life were on autopilot, getting whatever he wanted.

Only Zuo Yi had glimpsed the hidden exhaustion and fragility behind that polished exterior.

When they were children, Zuo Yi also thought Qi Yan was so incredible he hardly seemed like an inhabitant of Earth. It was exactly this admiration and the gap between them that made Zuo Yi more resentful of Qi Yan’s excellence as he grew older.

Because no matter how hard he tried, he could not catch up. There was always a vast distance between them, a distance that constantly reminded him that the person he followed was a god, while he was merely an ordinary, average human.

In the past, when he felt tired, he believed a mortal could never catch up to the footsteps of a god.

Now, the god said he was tired. It was time for the mortal to protect his deity.

“Brother Yan,” Zuo Yi called out at the door of the ward.

Qi Yan stopped and turned back to look at him. “Mm?”

“If you are tired, stop and rest. I am here.” Zuo Yi stepped forward and put an arm around his shoulder, pulling him toward his chest. Qi Yan leaned into Zuo Yi’s broad, warm embrace. “How can I make you realize that I have truly grown up and can be someone you rely on?”

“I know Xiao Yi has grown up.” Qi Yan’s chin rested on Zuo Yi’s right shoulder. He also reached out his right arm to Zuo Yi’s back and gently ruffled his hair. In that moment, both of them felt a sense of relief.

Qi Yan did not dare crave it for too long; after just a moment, he gently pulled away from Zuo Yi’s embrace.

“Let us go in.”

When they entered the ward, Auntie Chen was still asleep. Her expression did not look like someone who had just escaped the gates of hell, so Zuo Yi did not overthink it. He was simply worried about Qi Yan’s condition, fearing that his body would not be able to take much more of this.

Once the caregiver arrived, Qi Yan remembered Zuo Yi saying on the phone that he wanted Qi Yan to accompany him somewhere tonight. Just as he was about to speak, Zuo Yi grabbed his arm. “Let us go, Brother Yan. I am taking you to a big feast.”

Confused, Qi Yan allowed Zuo Yi to pull him out the door.

Zuo Yi brought him to a Japanese barbecue restaurant. The decor was authentic, with no main dining hall, only private tatami rooms. A server led them to the room furthest in the back. Zuo Yi and Qi Yan sat cross-legged, and Zuo Yi picked up the menu, ordering a mountain of meat.

Seeing Zuo Yi listing items non-stop, Qi Yan could not take it anymore. He placed his hand over the menu Zuo Yi was about to flip. Zuo Yi finally looked up from the menu, staring at Qi Yan. “What is it?”

“It is too much. I am not hungry,” Qi Yan said with a frown.

“This is nothing. You are too thin; you need to nourish yourself.”

“It is enough food.”

“Add one more order of thick-cut diaphragm and one order of Wagyu short ribs, please.” Ignoring Qi Yan’s protest, Zuo Yi only stopped after ordering two more portions from the server.

Qi Yan exhaled a sigh, staring at Zuo Yi with an amused look, saying nothing.

“Why are you looking at me? Is there something on my face?” Zuo Yi reached up to rub his face randomly, but Qi Yan patted his hand away.

“There is nothing on your face. I just realized you are quite cute.”

Cute? He praised me for being cute for the first time.

Zuo Yi froze as if his pressure points had been hit, and his cheeks suddenly began to burn.

“What do you mean cute? How can you use the word cute to describe a man?” Zuo Yi unnaturally picked up his water glass and took a sip.

Qi Yan shrugged. “Then I take back what I said about you being cute.”

Now Zuo Yi was unhappy again. “Words spoken are like water poured out; you cannot just take them back.”

Qi Yan shook his head with a laugh, thinking that this person was quite difficult to please, just like when they were kids.

While the atmosphere between them was pleasant, Qi Yan’s phone began to vibrate incessantly. He picked it up, glanced at it, and placed it back facedown on the table, his eyes filled with coldness.

Zuo Yi was about to ask who it was when the phone vibrated again. Qi Yan flipped it facedown once more.

“Answer it, Brother Yan. I will go out for some fresh air.” Zuo Yi thought it might be inconvenient for Qi Yan to answer in front of him and intended to step away.

Qi Yan pulled him back. “No need.” He showed the phone screen. “It is Qi Feng.”

“Uncle Qi?” Zuo Yi’s anger instantly flared up. He grabbed the phone. “I will answer it.”

“Xiao Yi!”

Before Qi Yan could finish, Zuo Yi had already answered the call, greeting the other side in a cynical tone. “Hello, is this Uncle Qi?”

“Who are you?” Qi Feng asked on the other end.

Zuo Yi clicked his tongue twice. “Uncle, you cannot even recognize my voice? We really have grown quite distant, have we not?”

“Are you Xiao Yi?” Qi Feng asked.

“Yes, it is me, Zuo Yi. To what do I owe the honor, Uncle?”

“Is Qi Yan there? I have something to discuss with him.”

Zuo Yi leaned back against the chair, his left hand fiddling with his fingers. “Whatever you have to say to Qi Yan, you can say to me.”

Qi Feng’s tone became noticeably serious. “Xiao Yi, this is our family matter. Do not meddle blindly.”

Zuo Yi did not back down. He asked coldly, “Your family matter? Which family matter are we talking about?”

“You,” Qi Feng was choked by his words.

Zuo Yi sneered. “Why do you not get your own family matters straight before you talk about my Brother Yan’s family? Do not confuse the two. Even if you do not care, we youngsters still have some dignity to maintain.”

“You brat! Who told you to mind other people’s business?”

Zuo Yi did not give Qi Feng a chance to curse. He said aggressively, “Brother Yan’s business is my business. No one is allowed to bully him.” Just as he was about to hang up, he added, “Whether you have something to say or not, do not harass my brother. He is doing fine. You should take care of your own health as well. Goodbye.”

“Hmph, what bad luck.” Zuo Yi rolled his eyes and tossed the phone into his pocket. His cursing and movements were seamless, and he did not notice that the person across from him had been watching him the whole time.

“Xiao Yi, do you know something?” Qi Yan asked.

Zuo Yi finally realized that his confrontational phone call with Uncle Qi had been too blunt, and he had completely forgotten to be tactful around Qi Yan.

Zuo Yi answered with a sliver of self-preservation, “Brother Yan, I do not know anything.”

He truly did not know exactly what happened back then. When he returned from summer training, Qi Yan and Auntie Chen had already moved away.

At that time, he had gone like a madman to knock on the iron door of Qi Yan’s house. The knocking could be heard throughout the entire building. No one answered for an entire afternoon. It was only when Grandma Liu across the hall could not take the noise anymore that she told Zuo Yi they had moved out as soon as the college entrance exam scores were released.

Zuo Yi only remembered crying as he went home to get a phone from Auntie Song, calling Qi Yan and Auntie Chen over and over again, but none of the calls went through. His WeChat messages also disappeared into the void.

Later, he ran to Ding Wenxiao’s house. Ding Wenxiao said a few words and then started crying with him. The two of them sat on the stone bench downstairs and cried for hours. No matter how much Zuo Yi asked, Ding Wenxiao would not say what had happened; she just kept telling him to stop asking, that it was all in the past.

Finding no one to help him, Zuo Yi went back to knock on Qi Yan’s door. When he was too tired to knock or shout, he sat in the stairwell and waited.

Grandma Liu finally took pity on him and invited him into her home, giving him a glass of cold water to soothe him.

“Xiao Yi, they really have moved away. Stop coming here to knock.” Grandma Liu used her handkerchief to wipe the sweat from Zuo Yi’s forehead.

Zuo Yi asked with red eyes and a choked voice, “Grandma, why?”

“Why did he suddenly leave without waiting for me to come back?”

“You say they moved, but why did they have to change their phone numbers?”

“He does not reply to my WeChat messages either.”

“Is he annoyed with me?”

Zuo Yi was huddled by Grandma Liu’s legs, tears streaming down as he kept repeating one thing: “Why did he leave without waiting for me? I hate Qi Yan.”

Grandma Liu could not bear to see him like this. She pulled Zuo Yi into her arms and patted his back. “Be good; do not blame Xiao Yan. He is an innocent child as well. It was the adults who made mistakes. Xiao Yan did nothing wrong; do not blame him.”

“Grandma Liu, what exactly happened? Tell me, please?” Zuo Yi’s eyes were brimming with tears. He stubbornly pursed his lips, demanding an answer.

Grandma Liu was one of the few seniors living alone in the courtyard, and they lived directly across from Qi Yan. Usually, the two families supported each other, and she treated Qi Yan like her own grandson. When they left, Grandma Liu felt a void in her heart too.

She had just managed to accept it when Zuo Yi came back and made a scene, bringing up all the heartache she had been trying to set aside. As people grow old, they become nostalgic. Having a neighbor of over ten years leave so suddenly was very painful for her as well.

“Xiao Yi, you are still young. You would not understand many of the things adults do. Xiao Yan is a pitiable child. His home was broken, and it was made public for everyone to see.” Grandma Liu stroked Zuo Yi’s hair, her eyes full of love. “Promise Grandma that you will find Xiao Yan one day and tell him that Grandma misses him every day. Also, tell him that this is his home. If he is tired out there, he should come back. Grandma will always be waiting for him.”

It was from then on that Zuo Yi guessed Qi Feng had an affair and that the mistress had made a scene at their door the day before Qi Yan’s exams.

Auntie Song’s reaction confirmed his suspicions, though she was unwilling to say more.

Seeing that Qi Yan remained silent and had been staring at him for a long time, Zuo Yi slowly spoke, “Actually, I resented you for a very long time. You left without a word and caught me completely off guard. I had no psychological preparation at all.”

Zuo Yi lowered his head, not daring to meet Qi Yan’s gaze. “It was Grandma Liu who comforted me for a long time. Back then, no one would tell me why you had to leave. Grandma Liu told me I must find you, and that she was waiting for you to go back.”

Qi Yan supported his head with both hands and let out a slow Mm through his nose.

“She,”

“Grandma is doing very well. My mom and Auntie Wen go to keep her company every day,” Zuo Yi answered.

“That is good.”

Zuo Yi felt Qi Yan’s low mood and asked cautiously, “I really only guessed some things. I do not know the specific details. Do you also think I am meddling in other people’s business? After all, he is your father.”

Support