My Childhood Friend is Secretly in Love with Me - Chapter 11

“With me here, stop carrying it all alone, okay?”

That evening, Zuo Yi finally waited for Li Zihao to return to the dorm. He casually brought up Sister Guan Guan during their chat but gained nothing. He realized that if she were intentionally hiding something, Li Zihao was likely being kept in the dark as well. The only way to find out was to ask Qi Yan.

The next day after training, Zuo Yi and his roommates headed to a food street near the school’s west gate to grab a bite. Zuo Yi had been preoccupied with the thought of Sister Guan Guan being ill, yet he had hesitated to contact Qi Yan, despite being nudged several times by Ding Wenxiao.

Knowing this call had to be made sooner or later, Zuo Yi stopped hesitating and decisively dialed the number he had saved only a few days prior.

“Xiao Yi?” The person on the other end seemed surprised to receive a call from him; his tone was clearly startled.

“It is me.”

Qi Yan asked, “What is it?”

“Well, I have something I want to ask you. It might be a bit abrupt and involves privacy, but I truly want to help. I hope you do not mind.”

Zuo Yi’s heart hammered in his chest. He did not know what kind of situation he would face after asking. Would he be coldly rejected again, or would Qi Yan think he was just a meddler with too much free time? Either way, it could mean drifting out of each other’s lives entirely.

“Go ahead, ask,” Qi Yan agreed.

“Is Sister Guan Guan sick? You are working to pay for her medical treatments, right? I do not mean to pry into her private business; I just want to do what I can to help you both. My competition prize money is actually quite substantial. If you need it, take it. Do not worry about paying it back. I,”

“Xiao Yi,” Qi Yan interrupted his rambling.

Zuo Yi thought Qi Yan was unwilling to let him involve himself in personal matters, and his mood instantly plummeted. “Brother Yan, you can blame me for being nosy, but I really want to help.”

Qi Yan froze. He had not heard Zuo Yi call him that in a very long time, and a soft spot deep in his heart was touched. “I know. Why would I blame you? Xiao Yi, do you have time right now? I am at the Third Hospital.”

Zuo Yi understood the implication. Qi Yan was willing to let him see the truth for himself. He immediately agreed, fearing Qi Yan might change his mind. “Yes, I have time! Wait for me; I am coming right now!”

“I will wait for you.”

Zuo Yi put away his phone and prepared to say goodbye to his roommates. However, as he turned around, he found Li Zihao standing behind him with bloodshot eyes. He had no idea how much of the conversation Li Zihao had overheard. “Brother Hao, you,”

“I heard everything. What do you mean Guan Guan is sick?” Li Zihao strode forward and gripped Zuo Yi’s arms.

Feeling the force of his grip, Zuo Yi frowned but endured it. “It is not certain yet. It is just that Xiao Xiao saw them at the inpatient department for gynecological oncology at the Third Hospital. I was just about to head over and check on the situation.”

“Gynecological oncology? What the hell kind of illness is that? Is it cancer?” In his panic, Li Zihao shouted so loudly that many people turned to look.

Zuo Yi brushed his hands off and pulled him aside to calm him down. “Calm down first. No one knows the specific situation yet. Let me find out first and I will tell you immediately, okay?”

“I cannot fucking calm down! How can I be calm when Guan Guan is sick? The Third Hospital, right? I am going with you. Let us go now.”

Li Zihao tried to pull Zuo Yi away. Zuo Yi wanted to stop him, but time was tight and rush hour was approaching. He did not have time to argue. He called a ride-sharing car. While waiting, they agreed that once they reached the hospital, Li Zihao would stay out of sight until the situation was confirmed.

About half an hour later, they arrived at the Third Hospital. Qi Yan was already waiting downstairs at the inpatient building. His expression darkened slightly when he saw Li Zihao was there too.

“Li Zihao heard us on the phone and wanted to come because he was worried,” Zuo Yi explained quickly.

Qi Yan said nothing more and led them to the elevator.

Inside the elevator, with every floor the numbers skipped, Zuo Yi’s heart sank further. His palms were soaked with sweat; he had not been this nervous even ten minutes before a swimming final.

Qi Yan noticed Zuo Yi’s tension was at a breaking point. He reached out with his left hand and squeezed the back of Zuo Yi’s neck to help him relax. Zuo Yi felt the gesture and glanced sideways. The two shared a small smile, a smile that acted like medicine, healing the suspicion and panic of the past few days.

Zuo Yi knew the truth lay behind those heavy elevator doors. No matter what, he was now standing side by side with Qi Yan. Zuo Yi would walk through any hardship with him without fear. Even if it was Qi Yan’s girlfriend who was sick, Zuo Yi was willing to go all in and face it together.

The elevator stopped at the 27th floor. Qi Yan led them through the corridor to a ward door. The door happened to open just then, and Guan Guan walked out with her father, followed by a group of medical interns.

Guan Guan saw them and gasped in shock. “Li Zihao, what are you doing here?”

As if possessed, Li Zihao rushed forward and hugged Guan Guan tightly while crying. “Where are you feeling unwell? You can hide it from anyone but me! I will help you through the treatment. If we cannot cure it in Jingxi, we will go abroad. There must be a way,”

Zuo Yi had not expected Li Zihao to completely ignore their plan. Fearing Qi Yan’s reaction to Li Zihao hugging his “girlfriend” and crying, Zuo Yi was about to pull them apart when Qi Yan stopped him.

Zuo Yi thought he had been inconsiderate and was wondering how to apologize to Qi Yan, but he was interrupted by a deliberate cough.

“Ahem!”

Guan Guan’s father signaled the interns to go to the next ward first, then scolded gently, “You brat, my daughter is perfectly fine. What are you doing?”

After Li Zihao ignored the setting to tearfully confess his feelings to Sister Guan Guan and Professor Guan, Zuo Yi finally realized that the relationship between Qi Yan and Sister Guan Guan was purer than the first light of dawn on a snowy peak.

After the others left, only Qi Yan and Zuo Yi remained in the corridor. Having misunderstood the situation for so long, Zuo Yi felt embarrassed. Qi Yan gave a helpless sigh and placed his hand on Zuo Yi’s bowed head. “Do you really want to go in and see?”

Zuo Yi looked up, his gaze even more determined than when he stood on the podium to receive an award. “No matter what happens, we face it together.”

Qi Yan led Zuo Yi inside. It was a private room. Lying in the bed was Qi Yan’s mother, Auntie Chen, whom Zuo Yi had also not seen for over a year.

The room smelled strongly of disinfectant. Auntie Chen lay there, her body as thin as withered wood, her face bloodless, and her hair sparse to the point of being nearly bald. She had an oxygen tube in her nose, and her breathing was weak, her chest rising and falling with great effort. She looked like a rose battered by a storm, fragile, dim, and devoid of life.

“How could it be Auntie Chen who is sick? She,” Zuo Yi choked up. He could not ask anything. Silent tears fell one by one onto Qi Yan’s fingertips as Qi Yan wiped them from his face.

“Shortly after we came to Jingxi, my mom was diagnosed with late-stage cervical cancer. By the time it was found, the cancer cells had already spread throughout her body. She has been undergoing chemotherapy and radiation, but it could not be effectively controlled. A few months ago, her white blood cell count was too low to continue chemo. On the night of my birthday, she had a persistent high fever and was sent to the ICU. She just got out. Professor Guan is an authority on cervical cancer. Because of him, Guan Guan comes to help look after her when she is free,” Qi Yan explained seriously.

A few brief sentences cleared up all of Zuo Yi’s recent confusion. The part-time jobs, the lack of money, everything. Behind it all was a cruel disease quietly consuming the life of Qi Yan’s mother. And Qi Yan had been carrying it all alone. During the time Zuo Yi blamed him for disappearing, while Zuo Yi was competing, and while Zuo Yi was jealous over the misunderstanding with Sister Guan Guan, Qi Yan had been bearing all the fear, grievance, and helplessness by himself.

“I am sorry. I was being immature and kept causing trouble when you needed help the most,” Zuo Yi apologized sincerely. Recalling everything since he arrived in Jingxi, the birthday, the fights, the bar, and this misunderstanding, he felt he had added to Qi Yan’s burden every single time. Any amount of apology felt weak and pale, insufficient to make up for the trouble he had caused.

Qi Yan comforted him with a smile. “Silly. I never thought you were causing trouble. There is no need to apologize.”

Zuo Yi’s teary eyes searched Qi Yan’s face. Qi Yan looked exhausted. Between his studies, his jobs, and caring for a patient, he likely did not even have enough time to sleep. Zuo Yi’s heart tightened further. He dared not think about how Qi Yan had survived this past year; had it been him, he might have collapsed long ago.

On the night before Qi Yan’s college entrance exams years ago, something had happened. Zuo Yi had been away for pre-competition training and missed it. By the time he returned, Qi Yan had vanished. Zuo Yi had been deeply affected and often asked his mother what happened, but the response was always silence. Even Ding Wenxiao refused to mention it. Everyone in the Moon Bay courtyard had tacitly chosen to forget and never speak of it again.

Now, Zuo Yi no longer cared why Qi Yan had left the courtyard. He would not chase him for a reason why he changed his contact information, nor would he demand that Qi Yan accept his feelings. Zuo Yi’s only hope now was that Qi Yan would let him share the burden. No matter the final result, they had to finish this difficult journey together. In the past, Qi Yan was always the one comforting and helping him. This time, it was Zuo Yi’s turn to grow up.

Zuo Yi called out softly, “Qi Yan.”

“Mm,” Qi Yan responded gently.

Zuo Yi asked, “With me here, stop carrying it all alone, okay?”

Qi Yan paused. He looked at his sleeping mother on the bed and finally replied, “Okay.”

Late at night, they left the hospital and walked side by side on the wide sidewalk. The late September night had lost the heat of the day, and a gentle breeze was refreshing. The continuous stream of red taillights trailed long tracks of light in the twilight, and in the distant sound of horns, one could still catch the tail end of late-summer cicadas.

It had been a long time since they had walked together in such peace. Zuo Yi looked up at the night sky. The stars in Jingxi looked exceptionally bright today, not at all inferior to those at Moon Bay. The only flaw was that the moon had hidden itself.

From now on, I will travel through the night to be your support, protecting the fullest moon in your heart.

Zuo Yi looked at Qi Yan’s thin back and made a silent vow.

Support