Living Up to Your Expectations - Chapter 28

Only the flickering of lamps filled the office.

The brightly burning candlelight cast irregular shadows across the ceiling. Outside the window, night’s curtain had completely fallen.

Beyond the curtains swaying in the cool breeze, the moonlit garden lay in perfect stillness.

In such late hours, though my eyes were fixed on the documents atop my desk, my thoughts had long wandered elsewhere.

“Your Highness, your face keeps turning pale and then red.”

Caien, who had been waiting nearby, raised his eyebrows in amusement.

“What exactly are you thinking about?”

“Ah, today during dance practice with Lady Beth, Feli came.”

“Lady Winchester? That’s rather unusual.”

“She must have been concerned about Lady Beth’s progress. Given that she’s taken on the role of caretaker, it’s only natural, I suppose…”

I trailed off there.

“Today, Lady Beth’s steps were even more unsteady than usual. Every time she lost her balance, she leaned against me.”

“Perhaps due to the tension of being watched?”

“I wonder. With her debut so close. But each time Lady Beth lost her balance, I suddenly felt a gaze and noticed. Feli was watching us with such a sorrowful look.”

It wasn’t the gaze of a caretaker.

Neither aesthetic appreciation nor criticism. It was the look of someone holding something back in their heart, eyes filled with pain.

“There was a shadow over Feli’s face. I don’t think it was worry about Lady Beth’s dancing ability. Watching us, I can’t help but wonder if she might have misunderstood something, unlikely as it seems.”

“Surely not. But for her emotions to show so clearly on her face, she must have been deeply moved.”

I nodded.

That Feli—always so calm and composed had let her face cloud over.

Faint jealousy? Or, though I hesitate to think it, disappointment in me?!

Her gaze seemed to contain resignation.

“So that’s why your face turned pale?”

“I had no idea it showed so obviously.”

“Then what made it turn red?”

Caien asked with the casual ease of someone sipping tea.

Really now? I paused briefly, interlacing my fingers over the illuminated documents.

“Lady Crawford suggested that Feli and I demonstrate the dance.”

“That’s all? Hardly something to blush about at this stage.”

“No, it’s not that I was embarrassed to dance with her. Actually, while we were dancing, Feli suddenly smiled, a genuinely happy smile.”

It was just a momentary smile. A smile filled with genuine emotion.

But it was so natural, so charming enough to make one stare in admiration.

“That’s quite rare indeed.”

“…Feli looked sad watching me dance with Lady Beth, yet seemed happy dancing with me. Could it really be that simple? What do you think, Caien?”

“Even the future Crown Princess is still a woman. Her feelings for you might surprisingly exceed Your Highness’s imagination.”

Exceed my imagination? If that’s true, it would make me happy.

My relationship with Feli was decided by political strategy. But as we walked together, trust grew between us, and she became more than just my fiancée. She became someone I genuinely respect.

And somewhere along the way, I fell in love with her as she grew more beautiful.

But I could never read what was in her heart.

In the quiet of Feli’s impenetrable expressions, I’ve searched for answers countless times, but I could never gauge the emotions she so beautifully contained within herself—her joys, angers, sorrows, and pleasures.

If Feli’s heart holds the same feelings as mine, will there ever come a day when we can express them to each other?

I pray that day comes soon.

“Lately, it’s Your Highness who can’t quite hide his emotions.”

“Haha… I’ll be more careful in public.”

“Don’t worry about it. I think it’s good. It makes you more human.”

As we spoke, the sky outside the window grew darker still. Far away, a single night bird called. Silence enveloped the sound.

Amid this, Caien suddenly changed the subject.

“Speaking of which, I heard the Spirit Princess will be visiting ‘Saint Elmina Church.'”

“…Saint Elmina Church?”

I couldn’t help but frown.

“She should be busy preparing for her debut. I’ve heard she hasn’t even memorized all the guest names yet. Is she still going?”

“Today, the chamberlain had an audience with His Majesty and obtained direct permission. Apparently, she’s quite insistent.”

Saint Elmina Church—

The orphanage run by the old church on the hill outside the city. A place Feli has been visiting regularly for years now.

“I hear she plans to interact with the children at the attached orphanage.”

I furrowed my brow.

“I don’t mean to criticize visiting orphanages. But—”

Some fools are already talking about marriage between the Crown Prince and the Spirit Princess.

Probably Lady Beth herself desires it too.

But what Feli has built over many years cannot be easily imitated. Her demeanor, education, refinement—everything about her reflects the accumulation of time.

Even if one tries to trace Feli’s “footsteps”—it wouldn’t even qualify as imitation.

More than anything, I’ve always wanted Feli to be the future queen.

My parents feel the same. We genuinely wish for it. I don’t want that disturbed by shallow schemes.

“I don’t want Feli to have any unnecessary worries.”

On restless nights like this, her face inevitably surfaces in my mind.