Living a Scheming Marriage with a Mad Villain - Chapter 38

His eyebrows rose at the unexpected answer. He tried to hide his surprised expression, but it didn’t work as he hoped.

 

“So… have you thought about it?”

 

“Thought about what, exactly…?”

 

“Loelle.”

 

“Yes, Duke.”

 

At Reus’s sharp gaze, Loelle’s shoulders stiffened as if out of habit.

 

“Let’s clear something up before we talk.”

 

“Clear what…?”

 

“That ridiculous… way you speak and your tone.”

 

‘He was holding back his anger just a second ago.’

 

Soon, Reus spoke again, sounding a little frustrated.

 

“Am I really that difficult?”

 

She thought, Is that even a question? but of course, she answered the opposite.

 

“No? Not at all.”

 

To make it believable, she relaxed her shoulders and didn’t avoid his sharp gaze. Then Reus, sounding oddly deflated, muttered to himself.

 

“Doesn’t seem like I’m that difficult, huh.”

 

He really had a scary sense for reading the mood.

 

The more she thought about it, the more unfair it felt.

 

I really wanted to get along.

 

But it was Reus who kept drawing a line, warning her in a cold voice, and pushing her away every time.

 

Sure, even though Derwin had warned me beforehand, it was still my fault for interfering that day.

 

Maybe he really hated how stubborn she was that day. From the next day, Reus avoided her openly, even in front of the staff, as if he couldn’t stand being around her.

 

Later on, he didn’t even meet her eyes anymore, and there were many nights he didn’t come back to the bedroom at all.

 

So she tried harder to stay quiet and out of sight.

 

But if he doesn’t even like that, then what more can I possibly do…?

 

At that moment, Reus let out a deep sigh.

 

It wasn’t even that loud, but her body flinched out of habit. Reus looked at her as if wondering why she was scared again when he hadn’t done anything, so she denied it quietly.

 

“It’s not like that.”

 

Reus slowly nodded.

 

It was clear from his half-hearted response that he didn’t believe her at all.

 

“You probably won’t believe this, but I didn’t call you here to criticize or scold you. I just…”

 

Reus trailed off mid-sentence. He looked like someone who couldn’t quite organize what he wanted to say.

 

After thinking in silence for a long while, Reus finally spoke.

 

“I wish you… would act a bit more selfishly.”

 

“What?”

 

“You’re the one who saved my life.”

 

She didn’t really understand what being selfish had to do with being his savior, but she nodded anyway.

 

“That’s why I want you to use that. Don’t try to accommodate me.”

 

Normally, that blunt tone would’ve made her shrink back, but this time, it actually made her feel a bit more at ease.

 

To summarize…

 

Is he saying I don’t need to try so hard around him?

 

Or is he saying, indirectly, that he doesn’t like how I always watch his mood?

 

While she was still trying to figure it out in that vague space between meanings, Reus spoke again.

 

“And I want to apologize.”

 

“Sorry? What do you mean… all of a sudden?”

 

“For my actions or attitude that may have embarrassed you.”

 

She doubted her ears. Did Reus just say he wanted to apologize? Once she realized she hadn’t misheard, the surprise turned into complete confusion.

 

He suddenly wanted her to be selfish, and now he was apologizing?

 

I don’t get any of this.

 

She didn’t know if he had a change of heart after seeing her sick, or if something else happened that she didn’t know about. Whatever it was, it was all very sudden.

 

“No, Derwin said the Duke was already—”

 

“Reus.”

 

He corrected her, and his eyes signaled that she could continue.

 

“Reus. Derwin once told me that you get sensitive when you return from the battlefield. But that day, I was so flustered and worried… I couldn’t be careful.”

 

“Loelle.”

 

“Yes?”

 

“I know that my attitude toward you, including what happened that day, hasn’t been right.

 

At that moment, a wave of hurt hit her. Assuming he knew and hearing him admit it were two completely different things. Still, she was thankful for his honesty… but also hurt.

 

All those mixed emotions kept her from saying anything.

 

“I know it sounds like an excuse, but letting you into my space took a lot of courage for me too. And I’m sure you’ve already guessed it… but I haven’t been able to separate you from Countess Ivelle.”

 

I figured that was part of it too.

 

Since she had expected it, she responded a bit deflated.

 

“I… I understand.”

 

“No. You don’t need to understand.”

 

Before she could even wonder if he was drawing a line again, Reus continued.

 

“Just remember one thing. You saved my life, and I owe it to you.”

 

“But that was…”

 

“I know you didn’t do it expecting anything in return.”

 

“So just remember this — that I’m alive, and that we’re able to talk like this now, all because you saved me.”

 

She was grateful that Reus had been honest about his feelings.

 

It wasn’t just that he disliked her being overly cautious — he explained what he felt toward her in the past and how he saw her now.

 

That part was really nice, but…

 

“Still? Then let’s just set a deadline. Would a week be enough?”

 

That gift he mentioned — he hadn’t forgotten. He brought it up again, after all.

 

When she tried to dodge the question by saying she hadn’t thought about it yet, he caught on right away and even set a time limit.

 

I feel like I’ve already enjoyed everything there is at the Duke’s estate. What could I possibly ask for?

 

No one here hit her as punishment, starved her, or threw things when they were angry.

 

Even the peaceful days she was experiencing still felt unreal sometimes. There was warm water in the bathroom, a soft bed, and luxurious items that felt too good for someone like her — all prepared just for her.

 

And now I even have the dressing room I’ve always dreamed of…

 

What she liked the most about being at the Rochester estate was finally having her own dressing room.

 

Of course, back at the Ivelle mansion, she was barely allowed a corner of the storage room — forget a dressing room or nice clothes.

 

She had once asked her father about it. But he said the household matters were under Peria’s control and ignored her.

 

And when Peria found out, she treated me like a criminal…

 

Unlike Peria and Briella, who bought new dresses and jewels every day, Loelle had to buy clothes with the little money her father gave her on rare visits.

 

She saved up carefully and bought a few decent dresses, but none were suitable for formal events. So she had no choice but to borrow Briella’s dresses — and every time, it was miserable.

 

Briella, who hated even sharing the same blood, would lend her dresses for one reason: if even a single decoration was damaged, she could use it to torment Loelle for days.

 

When Briella cried to Peria, it always ended in verbal or physical abuse toward Loelle.

 

So whenever she had to borrow a dress, she barely moved, ate the bare minimum, and tried her best to be careful.

 

And after returning the dress in perfect condition, Briella would say:

 

“Doesn’t this dress smell cheap now? I can’t wear it. Throw it away.”

 

Then she’d toss the expensive dress straight into the trash in front of her.

 

But now, Loelle had a dressing room many times bigger than the old storage room.

 

There were so many dresses hanging inside, some she hadn’t even worn once — she couldn’t even count them all.

 

In a way, her life at the Rochester estate… was just like that dressing room.

 

A happiness she never imagined having. A feeling so warm that just thinking about it made her smile.

 

Maybe Reus felt like he hadn’t done enough for his savior and wanted to give her something — anything.

 

But for Roel, she already had more than she ever dreamed of.

 

So she really couldn’t think of anything else to ask for.

 

She considered explaining her feelings honestly, but gave up, worried he might not understand.

 

What should I even say?

 

Still thinking about such trivial things, she wandered through the Duke’s estate.

 

She’d been roaming around so much lately because there was suddenly nothing to do. The only problem was that she had nothing left to see.

 

Should I go outside today?

 

Suddenly wanting to explore beyond the estate, she stepped out and began to walk aimlessly. After walking for a while, she ended up in front of a building a bit away from the main grounds.

 

Unlike the other well-maintained buildings, this one had a worn exterior. The door was tightly shut with chains and a padlock.

 

She wondered what kind of place it was. To her surprise, this large, neglected building was actually the library.

 

“There was a library?”

 

She had thought it was strange that there was no library despite the huge estate. Turns out, the building was so far away that she hadn’t noticed it before.

 

She returned to the estate and asked the butler, Loteo, about it.

 

“The library was closed a long time ago by His Grace’s orders.”

 

“Was there a problem?”

 

“Not exactly…”

 

Loteo gave an awkward smile, suggesting there was something he couldn’t say.

 

Getting no clear answers, she had dinner and returned to her room.

 

While staring out the window in the dark room, she leaned on the windowsill and muttered softly.

 

“Hmm… should I try asking?”

 

“For what?”