Living a Scheming Marriage with a Mad Villain - Chapter 118

I quietly packed my things little by little during the times when Reus wasn’t around, making sure it wasn’t obvious. But somehow, he noticed.

Maybe he thought I was trying to fool myself by pretending to live like before. Whatever the reason, I had to give up on leaving with my luggage.

“You don’t need to have luggage to run away.”

This time, I was determined to leave no matter what. Even if I had to run away with nothing. Even if I had to face Reus and talk about the past.

Now that I think about it, the emperor was very clever. He must have known that if I found out the truth, I would have no choice but to leave Reus. So he told me the truth.

If I had been born without knowing that I was from the original story, and if by chance everything had happened as it did now, maybe I would have made a different choice.

But that’s not the case. At least, I can’t do that.

Even though I know I become weak when I’m near him, I must not stay by Reus’s side. Even if I die alone, I must avoid blocking Reus’s path.

So I had to leave.

I didn’t bother packing this time and lived as usual. The peace that seemed to continue calmly was suddenly broken one day by Reus.

“Why… aren’t you looking for your bag?”

I answered calmly, with a slight tone of resentment in his voice.

“I don’t need it anymore.”

Hearing that, Reus looked confused, wondering if I was trying to find another way out.

“I think I’ll be fine without my things.”

“Loelle.”

“Did you have dinner? If not, shall we go eat together? I was about to go down to the dining room anyway.”

I held Reus’s hand.

“Did you ask me to live like before for this reason…?”

“No. It’s not related to that.”

“Don’t be nice to me. Please… treat me like before. Get angry, ignore me, push me away.”

Though I said that, Reus couldn’t bring himself to pull his hand away.

“You don’t have to stay with me, but please… if it’s going to be like this, please treat me like before.”

“What do you mean by that, Reus?”

“It’s better than you leaving.”

“Why?”

Reus hesitated to answer. I looked at him for a moment, then smiled as usual.

“Reus, let’s stop and go downstairs. Everyone’s probably waiting for us to come together.”

I tried to pull his hand, but Reus didn’t move. Then I heard a wet, trembling voice.

“What can I do… How can I make you not leave? Please tell me, Loelle… I don’t know what else to do. I can do anything you ask, so please just tell me…”

“You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“Then why do you keep trying to leave?”

“Then why do you keep holding on to me?”

“I…”

“Loelle.”

Reus held me tightly, and I couldn’t finish speaking.

“Don’t… don’t do this. It’s my fault. So please don’t say anything.”

Reus must have known what the emperor told me. Even though he knew everything, he held me and said he would try.

The situation I feared had finally come.

I said nothing and stood still. I didn’t hug or comfort Reus like before.

Soon, my shoulder started getting wet.

Reus, who couldn’t speak out of fear, cried and held me tighter. But nothing changed. His desperate breathing couldn’t change my choice.

“My father caused the carriage accident.”

“Then why do you keep holding me? Please stop…”

“I love you.”

Reus’s desperate confession stopped me from speaking.

“Loelle, I love you…”

I was speechless. This wasn’t something I expected to hear in this situation. But my rejection made Reus confess like that.

“My father ruined your life. So how can you…”

“I don’t care even if you completely ruin my life.”

“Reus. Please don’t do this.”

“I won’t ask you to love me. Just stay by my side. You don’t have to force yourself to be nice. Just… please don’t leave me.”

“I’ll find a reason for you to stay at the duke’s castle. I’ll prepare your favorite food every day… plant the flowers you like… and bring your favorite books every day…”

Reus struggled to say what he could do. As he spoke, tears mixed with his voice until the words became unclear.

Finally, he collapsed on my shoulder without finishing.

“Reus, I…”

I stopped myself from saying that I would only be a burden. If I said that, he would hold me even tighter, saying it wasn’t true.

“I don’t want to stay next to someone dangerous like you.”

I felt Reus’s hand gripping my arm tense.

“I know everything. You’re plotting a rebellion.”

Reus dropped his hand like someone who lost everything. He didn’t expect I would know this.

“Loelle… so, that means…”

“But how can I be happy here? You want me to live here, knowing it’s dangerous? Oh, you don’t want my happiness, you want me trapped here, living in fear forever.”

“No, Loelle… that’s not what I meant at all. I would never think of making you unhappy.”

“I don’t understand the difference.”

“Loelle…”

“If that’s punishment, I’ll accept it. If you want my unhappiness… I’ll stay by your side.”

I knew it was cruel. I knew Reus didn’t mean that, and he wouldn’t even think such thoughts.

But unless I do this, Reus will never let me go. So even if it hurts, I have to push him away.

Because this hurt will be the last anyway…

I thought after this, he would give up. I tried to move away from him, who was frozen in place. But soon, Reus caught me again. He hugged me from behind and asked,

“Is it unhappy to stay next to someone dangerous like me?”

“Yes. I don’t want to stay by your side anymore—”

“If that’s the reason, I’ll give up the rebellion.”

“What…?”

“You said you don’t want to stay because it’s dangerous.”

“Reus. Giving up the rebellion… that’s impossible. I didn’t mean that.”

I tried to turn away in confusion, but Reus didn’t release his arms around my waist.

“Loelle. I will try to please you.”

“Reus. This is—”

“If you don’t like something, I won’t do it. I’ll fix everything you don’t like. I’ll change everything to how you want.”

“This isn’t right. Reus, that’s… not what I want. Please don’t do this because of me.”

“Don’t worry. Now I want to do it.”

“Reus…!”

“Yes, Loelle.”

His voice was calm, like nothing had happened and nothing would change. Reus said this to hold onto me, but the more he said it, the more I was sure I had to leave.

“No matter what you decide, I will leave.”

“I won’t let you go, Loelle.”

His voice behind me held a heat I had never felt before.

“You won’t listen to me at all, so I won’t listen to you either.”

“Please don’t do this, Reus…”

I begged, but his arms around me only tightened.

Since that day, Reus and Roel’s relationship changed completely. The distance that kept growing smaller now seemed to disappear.

But this was a one-sided feeling from someone, so it was far from the love Loelle wanted. Because of this, Loelle had to reject it.

The man’s deep and dangerous love. He wrapped his feelings gently and softly, but it was obsession.

Yet Reus wanted to own even Loelle’s gaze. Even if he confessed without expecting a reply, he tried to make her attention come to him.

“I love you.”

“I really love you, Loelle.”

Even though Reus was the one who kept Loelle from meeting anyone, locking her in the bedroom, it wasn’t enough. He craved more attention.

At first, Loelle tried to convince Reus.

“Your life depends on this, right? Please don’t do this. This is wrong. Please don’t make this choice just because of me.”

“Reus, please… think again. You’ll regret it…”

Now, Loelle was the one begging desperately.

But Reus accepted only her attention.

He liked being the only one in her eyes. When he heard her fragile voice, no matter what she said, he answered softly, smiling with his eyes. Even when Loelle looked away, Reus didn’t cry anymore.

He was willing to wait for her to turn back to him again.

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