Labor, Capital, And Friends Are Emperors - Chapter 3

For Bai Yi, it was a leisurely afternoon. He and Xiao Shiyun sat opposite each other at a chess table in the courtyard.

After staying in the palace for so many days and reuniting with his best friend, Bai Yi was undoubtedly moved. However, he was still the Provincial Governor of Jingzhou and had to return to his post. After all, he had left a mess for that fifty-year-old man to handle, and he felt quite guilty.

That old man was the Jingzhou County Magistrate, and he would likely scold Bai Yi to death upon his return. Bai Yi’s paperwork was a disaster, and whenever it was time to report on his duties, he would pretend to have a headache or a stomachache. Trouble never found him because he was the trouble; Bai Yi had a very clear understanding of himself.

After much hesitation, Bai Yi placed a black stone. “Yuanxiao, I have to go. See you at the court meeting next month.”

Xiao Shiyun’s hand paused. He tossed the white stone in his hand back into the basket. He said calmly, “Not going to be a Tangyuan anymore? If you want to leave, then go. It is the same for me to find someone else to play with.”

Yuanxiao and Tangyuan were nicknames Bai Yi had come up with. During the fifteen days he spent recovering in the palace, he and Xiao Shiyun had temporarily set aside ancient titles. Instead, they used modern encrypted slang to address each other. Even though Xiao Shiyun remembered nothing, he was quite cooperative.

Resuming his identity as the Provincial Governor, Bai Yi stood up and bowed to Xiao Shiyun to take his leave. “Take care of your health, Your Majesty. This minister shall withdraw.”

Bai Yi walked toward the gates of Jingqian Hall, but the guards on both sides blocked his path. “The Emperor has not granted permission. Please wait, sir.”

He looked back at Xiao Shiyun and saw him drinking tea with a gloomy expression, delaying his departure.

“Your Majesty? I must return to Jingzhou.”

The tea lid scraped against the green tea water. Driven by internal energy, the teacup smashed right at Bai Yi’s feet. Xiao Shiyun raised his pale eyes and stared at him with a smirk. “Did I say you could leave?”

A chill ran down Bai Yi’s back. He felt that Xiao Shiyun’s amnesia was not that simple; it was as if he had been replaced by a different soul entirely.

“Then what does Your Majesty wish for me to do?” Bai Yi felt uneasy.

“Someone has already taken your place as the Provincial Governor of Jingzhou. I happen to be short of a servant to carry my shoes.” Xiao Shiyun stood up and walked slowly toward Bai Yi. He pinched Bai Yi’s chin; his red lips seemed to glisten. He had wasted enough time on this fake Provincial Governor, and it was time to close the net.

Bai Yi took a step back but was pulled back into a tight embrace by Xiao Shiyun’s arm. For a moment, he dared not look into Xiao Shiyun’s eyes.

“Is my dear minister afraid?”

Of course he was afraid! Bai Yi asked in disbelief, “Xiao Shiyun, are you going to castrate me?”

Xiao Shiyun’s face darkened, and he released Bai Yi. “Yes, I am going to castrate you. Go learn from Guo Fu how to be a eunuch later.”

Guo Fu coughed and produced an imperial edict. “Bai Yi, Provincial Governor of Jingzhou, receive the decree! By order of the Emperor: As of today, Bai Yi is temporarily removed from his post as Provincial Governor of Jingzhou. He shall serve as an Imperial Attendant in Jingqian Hall, responsible for the Emperor’s daily life and diet, and shall reside within the hall. Respect this.”

“Master Bai, receive the decree.” Guo Fu handed the edict to Bai Yi. Fuming, Bai Yi snatched the decree and glared at Xiao Shiyun. “This minister accepts the decree and thanks Your Majesty for his grace!”

Xiao Shiyun resumed his imperial poise and said coldly, “It seems you are very dissatisfied. Then go clean the entirety of Jingqian Hall and the Imperial Garden. If they are not spotless, you will be dragged away for another thirty strokes.”

If there were a national ranking for the speed of turning hostile, Xiao Shiyun would be number one. One moment they were playing chess happily, and the next, he was demoted to a servant to sweep the courtyard. He must be insane. Bai Yi wondered if Xiao Shiyun had psychological issues; had he offended him somehow? “I am not going.”

As soon as he spoke, two armed guards immediately pressed him down to take him for a beating. Bai Yi quickly backtracked with a forced smile. “Hey, hey, do not touch me! I was just joking! This servant will go right now! I guarantee everything will be cleaned until it is spotless. You can rest assured, Your Majesty.”

“Get out.” Xiao Shiyun waved his hand irritably. Once everyone had left and the silence settled, he sat back down in the chair where he had played chess with Bai Yi.

He had only placed two stones when a fallen leaf drifted onto the board, just like the saying: when a guest leaves, the tea grows cold. He suddenly flipped the chessboard over.

When the Emperor is angry, millions of corpses lie in wait. The serving palace maids and eunuchs knelt in two terrified rows, unable to guess why the Emperor was suddenly so furious.

Nothing had changed; it returned to another afternoon of handling government affairs. However, Bai Yi’s addition broke the usual tranquility. A single, thin figure somehow managed to cause immense trouble.

He smashed a multicolored porcelain vase from the Western Regions and “accidentally” stepped on scattered calligraphy and paintings while sweeping backward. Under the pretext of helping prune the Imperial Garden, his scissors unhesitatingly cut down the begonia trees transplanted from Xijing Mountain.

Bai Yi brushed off his clothes and asked the palace maids with a smile, “What else does His Majesty like? I shall do my best to serve him.”

The servants shook their heads and avoided Bai Yi like the plague. Seeing this, Bai Yi contentedly handed the scissors back to Guo Fu. He turned and said, “Eunuch Guo Fu, I am hungry. When is dinner?”

Guo Fu wiped the sweat from his forehead and said hurriedly, “It is almost time for His Majesty’s dinner. Master Bai, please change and wash your hands, then proceed to Jingqian Palace to accompany the Emperor for the meal.”

He thought to himself: Please, just go. This was not a servant; it was an ancestor. Anyone could see the Emperor’s treatment of Bai Yi was extraordinary, and he dared not be negligent. The Emperor was likely just punishing him in a fit of anger; if Bai Yi felt wronged and whispered in the Emperor’s ear later, it would be their heads on the line.

As the saying goes, it is easier to invite a god than to see one off. Bai Yi seemed to have fallen in love with his broom and insisted on bringing it to dinner because he wanted Xiao Shiyun to see how dedicated he was.

Dressed in the deep blue attire of an attendant and wearing an official hat, Bai Yi walked into the main hall. The Emperor’s dining area was behind the hall, under the Huaran Pavilion by the lotus pond. Pear blossoms drifted in the air, and a pot of yellow wine was warming on the table. There were twenty-six dishes, each small and exquisite.

Steamed perch with osmanthus, beef hot pot, golden hairy crabs, hawthorn cakes; they were all Bai Yi’s favorites. Since the beating, he and Xiao Shiyun had shared meals for a few days. There was no talk of ruler and subject; they simply sat opposite each other like they did in their university dorm.

Bai Yi had observed Xiao Shiyun from all angles over the past few days and found he did not put on airs. He was not as fastidious as the novels described, requiring eighty-one dishes for every meal. Usually, they had at most nine dishes, and Xiao Shiyun would stop after a few bites. Bai Yi was surprised to see twenty-six dishes today.

Xiao Shiyun was already seated. He toyed with a wine cup but had not touched his chopsticks. Bai Yi felt a bit awkward. “Xiao Shiyun, are you waiting for me? No need.” Just as his backside touched the edge of the chair, he was called out.

“Stand up and wait on the side.” Xiao Shiyun glanced at Bai Yi and gave an unfeeling order. The thought of Bai Yi brushing off his clothes to leave kept his anger simmering. He maintained an unapproachable distance, appearing cold, noble, and remote.

Unlike the usual casualness, today the pavilion was filled with attendants, each standing respectfully.

“I heard you broke a vase and stepped on a famous painting. You shall pay for them at market value. You cannot leave until the debt is paid.”

Bai Yi stood up and slammed his hands on the table. “Why are you so petty? Xiao Shiyun, you!”

“The vase is worth thirty-nine thousand taels of gold. The High Mountain and Cloud Stream painting is forty thousand taels of silver. Say one more word, and I will seize your Governor’s residence to pay the debt.” Xiao Shiyun rattled off a few numbers casually.

“Is this about the money? You could sell me and I would not be worth that much!” The veins on Bai Yi’s hands bulged as he spoke through gritted teeth.

“Then you shall redeem your sins with your body. Prepare to work in the palace until you die.” Xiao Shiyun delivered the final ultimatum.