Junior Brother Has No Idea - Chapter 11

[Master~ Good news and bad news.] [Which one do you want to hear first?]

Xie Yong took a step back, eyes downcast, looking the picture of submissiveness. Inwardly, he replied to the system: “Only the good news.”

The System: […] No fair!

[The good news is: one of the two men in front of you is the Protagonist Gong—the one we need to seduce. And he just gave you +5 favorability.] [The bad news is: right before that, he docked 200 points. His current rating for you is -94.]

Fortunately, this scam of a favorability system had a minimum threshold; it stopped at -99, or else they’d have no way to seek justice.

How much did he dock?! Xie Yong buried his head even lower, his expression shifting through a kaleidoscope of emotions. “It drops by hundreds at a time, but only increases by five?”

[I don’t know, I don’t know!] The System was about to go crazy.

Xie Yong was even more frantic: “What use are you?!”

[Waaaah—] Berated by Xie Yong, the System vanished in tears. It was going to give him the cold shoulder for five minutes!

The Two Senior Brothers

After the greetings, the man in green Shen Du smiled and nodded. “Junior Sister Wuyi.”

The man in black glanced at the silent, head-bowed Xie Yong before giving a brief nod to Wuyi. “Junior Sister.”

“Hahaha…” Wuyi’s relationship with these two seemed average; her fake smile was barely holding up. She gestured behind her back. The Zhao brothers braced themselves and stepped forward to take over the pleasantries. “She-She-She-She—”

Shen Du smiled. “Who is your ‘she-she’ (auntie)?”

The brothers tried again: “Da-Da-Da-Da—”

“Qianlai, Yuanlai.” Shen Du stepped forward, looking warm and gentle. “Have you finished the coursework I assigned yesterday?”

“Eldest Senior Brother! Senior Brother Shen!” Zhao Qianlai finally managed a full sentence, pointing a finger at the “playing dead” Xie Yong. “Yuanlai and I were o-o-o-originally going to the back mountain to study, but we m-m-m-met the new Junior Brother from the North Hall and were t-t-t-taking him on a tour.”

“Oh?” Shen Du raised an eyebrow and looked at Xie Yong.

Xie Yong looked at the Zhao twins with disdain. Just moments ago, they were puffing out their chests saying they’d protect him, and now they were using him as a shield the second things got difficult.

They ignored his glare and winked frantically: Greet them! Greet the Senior Brothers!

Being new, Xie Yong couldn’t tell who was “Eldest Senior Brother” and who was “Senior Brother Shen.” He guessed based on vibes, calling the green-clothed one “Eldest Senior Brother” and the black-clothed one “Senior Brother Shen.”

The man in black looked at him again. The man in green, however, let out a good-natured laugh. Wuyi face-palmed. “I am your Eldest Senior Sister! Both of these men should be called ‘Senior Brother Shen’.”

It turned out the twins were from the West Hall, making Shen Du their Eldest Senior Brother. As for the other one… Xie Yong looked at the man in black. Finding the man looking back, Xie Yong started to smile—but before his lips could curl up, Zhao Qianlai slammed a hand onto the back of his head, forcing it down.

“She-She-She-Senior Brother Shen, th-th-this is the new Junior Brother. He doesn’t know the rules. Pl-pl-please forgive him!”

Forced to look at the ground, Xie Yong muttered, “Qia-Qia-Qia-Qianlai, wha-wha-what’s wrong with you?”

Zhao Qianlai: “!” “Don’t copy my stutter!”

Xie Yong: “I-I-I’m not.”

“Pfft.” Wuyi couldn’t help but snort. Shen Du also smiled. “Qianlai, don’t be like that.”

The Living Yama

Zhao Qianlai withdrew his hand. Xie Yong lifted his head and smoothed his hair. He felt like the writing brush he was using as a hairpin was crooked. He wanted to fix it but felt it was rude to undo his hair in public, so he just patted it and looked curiously at the man in black.

The System, missing for a while, popped up: [Yes, just like that. Keep looking. His favorability is rising.]

Xie Yong perked up and stared harder. Unfortunately, the black-clothed Senior Brother Shen Duo spoke, and it wasn’t anything nice. He looked away, avoiding Xie Yong’s gaze. “Noise is prohibited here. Violators, step forward and accept your punishment.”

The crowd, who had just been acting like big-shot “Senior Brothers” to Xie Yong, instantly went quiet. If punishment was coming, everyone except Wuyi and Xie Yong would be caught.

The twins looked at each other and stepped forward with a “do-or-die” air. “It’s my fault,” Qianlai said. “Punish only us,” Yuanlai added.

The others joined in, but Shen Duo’s cold gaze silenced them instantly.

Seeing Xie Yong not reacting, Qianlai winked at him. Xie Yong hesitated; this wasn’t the Xie estate—no one would back him up if he was punished. But if he didn’t stand with them, how would he live with them? He gritted his teeth and stepped forward.

The twins gave him a thumbs-up: Good brother! Loyal! Xie Yong felt like crying.

Shen Du tried to intercede: “Senior Brother, they entered by mistake. Let them go this once.”

Wuyi also spoke up, but only to excuse Xie Yong. “Senior Brother, the little junior is new and knows nothing. He shouldn’t be punished, right?”

[Exactly! Don’t punish my Master!] The System flipped through its “book” and wailed. [Oh my god! Five hundred sword-swings! My poor Master! You’ll turn into Popeye the Sailor Man after five hundred!]

Xie Yong’s face went white. Five hundred? He regretted stepping forward. Could he take it back?

[Waaaah, Master! In the original plot, you ended up in the infirmary for days after this punishment! The Protagonist Gong thought you were ‘delicate’ and developed a prejudice against you.]

What?!

While Shen Du and Wuyi were still arguing, Xie Yong leaned in and whispered, “Senior Brother, we really know we were wrong.” Just please don’t make me swing a sword five hundred times. I’ll actually die.

Hiss. The twins sucked in a breath. They were sure their “Living Yama” Senior Brother, Shen Duo, would slap the “delicate and fawning” Xie Yong away.

Instead, the cold man looked down at Xie Yong and asked, “What exactly did you do wrong?”

Xie Yong, relying on his beauty, met his gaze fearlessly. “We are wrong wherever Senior Brother says we are wrong.”

[Nice! Truly my Master! I shall follow you forever!] [Shen Duo favorability +1.] [Stingy man! You docked 100 earlier, add more than one!] The System roared.

Xie Yong wanted to roar with it. Then he realized something. “His name is Shen Duo? The ‘???’ character who docked points at my house… was it him?”

[Yes, Hubby! And I have bad news. While you were ‘making eyes’ at the Zhao twins just now, his favorability dropped by 50. Current progress: -98.]

Xie Yong: “…”

Who was making eyes at them?! Just as he was about to rage, his vision went black. He fell backward, straight and stiff.

[AAAAAAAHHHH!!!!] The System shrieked. [The ‘Steamed Goose Heart’ debuff has two layers! One clears your stamina instantly, and the other drops your health to the minimum… and that one lasts for a month, Master!]

Xie Yong barely heard the System before he blacked out completely.

The Rumor Mill

“Did you hear? Senior Brother Shen Duo scared the new Junior Brother into a faint.” “I heard! Zhao Yuanlai was there. He said the boy went whiter than a three-day-old corpse. Eyes rolled back and thump, he hit the floor.” “Martial Aunt Fuying was about to meditate, but she rushed back when she heard.” “The Sect Master was there too after all, Shen Duo is his personal disciple. To make up for the trouble, the Sect Master had to move a hundred-year-old apricot tree from his own yard to the North Hall!”

For the next few days, the infirmary was surrounded by gossiping disciples. It was severely affecting Xie Yong’s rest.

Xie Yong opened his eyes, staring hollowly at the ceiling. In the Xie estate, he had his own courtyard. Here… a pot of bitter medicine was bubbling on a small stove nearby, and an outer disciple was frantically fanning the flames. The pungent smell filled the room.

Is the Qingyun Sect so broke they’re about to collapse? Why is the infirmary so shoddy? Why is the stove in the patient’s room? Are they trying to choke me to death?

[Sword cultivators aren’t picky,] the System consoled. [In my world, sword cultivators are synonymous with ‘poor.’ Out of ten, nine are broke, and the last one is starving.]

Xie Yong: “What about the cultivators in your world?”

[Haha! Sleep at 5 AM, up at 6 AM, casket shaped like a rectangle. We ‘cultivate immortality’ by never sleeping.]

The Secret Nurse

While Xie Yong was listening to the System’s nonsense, the fanning disciple left. The room grew quiet. Standing by the stove now was Shen Duo.

Xie Yong asked the System, “What is his favorability now?” The System whimpered.

[Master… while you were asleep, it went back to -99. It’s that debuff’s fault! I’ll never buy cheap things again! We college students always fall for consumer traps…]

Xie Yong couldn’t help but let out a long, weary sigh.

Shen Duo, who was about to pour the medicine, froze. Then Xie Yong sighed again, sounding utterly displeased. Shen Duo withdrew his hand and looked down at the stove.

Xie Yong, not wanting to even look at him, rolled over on the hard bed, his back to the room and his dark hair splayed across the pillow.

Shen Duo: “…” He pursed his lips and, just as silently as he had entered, left the room.

Back on the bed, Xie Yong complained to the System: “This bed is too hard! My whole-body aches!”

[There’s a Jade Bed in the mall! Wow… 8,000 points. They might as well just rob us.]

“Eight thousand?” Xie Yong sighed and rolled over again to try and find a comfortable spot for his aching back.

The moment he flipped over, the System screamed: [Shen Duo favorability -500!!!!! AAAAAAAHHH!!!!]