I've Tried Going Back to Life After Dying - Chapter 27

It felt like it had been ages since she last tied up her hair.

As a young lady, Hildegard did not wear her hair up like a married woman.

But her return from death had been in spring, and now it was just a little past the beginning of summer.

Even so, the style Hildegard was most accustomed to was the tightly bound updo of a high-ranking noblewoman. One that emphasized dignity rather than extravagance.

So, when she saw her reflection in the mirror, Hildegard was momentarily speechless.

Ah, yes. The first ball she attended with Clifford had been with her hair done up like this too.

The few stray hairs at the nape of her neck gave off an innocent charm, making her feel a little embarrassed even to herself.

The pale champagne-gold dress, with its generous folds gathered at the waist, accentuated the slender figure of Hildegard in her youth almost excessively. That it still managed to look delicate was nothing short of miraculous.

But that was all in the past, a life she had left behind. Now, having turned back time and changed her path, Hildegard’s attire was that of a young future head of a noble house, poised to make her mark in high society.

The dress and jewelry had been gifts from the Atrey family, her relatives and vassals.

She couldn’t deny that everything had been arranged for her, but it felt like a cheer from Atrey’s mother, who had lived as a female head of the family herself.

The deep viridian hue of the dress, which lent Hildegard’s petite frame and slightly downturned eyes a sharp elegance, carried a faint blue tint that matched her sapphire eyes.

The sheen under the light, the clean silhouette—it was all beautiful.

From her exposed shoulders peeked skin so fair it seemed untouched by the sun.

Only later would she learn that the amber necklace and matching earrings were heirlooms of the viscount’s family.

The realization that Atrey’s mother had acknowledged her resolve filled her with joy.

It was also a declaration. That when Hildegard’s time came, they would support the count’s house as both relatives and vassals.

“You look absolutely beautiful, Sister.”

“Do I? I suppose if you dress up enough, anyone can look presentable.”

When she showed off her ball attire in Lauren’s room, he immediately praised her with a simple “Beautiful.”

That was just like Lauren. If he ever took a wife, how much joy would his every word bring her?

“Your back looks amazing too.”

“Goodness, isn’t this too much skin? It’s a little improper, don’t you think?”

“Not at all. Though I do feel a little embarrassed myself. I mean, it’s you, Sister, and yet I’m blushing.”

Oh no! He’s too adorable!

What am I going to do with you, Lauren? A younger brother who knows just how to fluster a maiden’s heart might just have the makings of a playboy.

“So, you received Atrey’s jewels.”

“Well, yes. As long as it’s seen as a gesture between relatives, it’s fine. I wouldn’t want to interfere with Atrey’s marriage prospects.”

“You’re still saying things like that?”

“Huh?”

At that, Lauren’s expression turned serious.

Lauren, who lived his limited life with urgency, was not only wise but carried himself with an air of maturity.

His slightly long hair, which brushed his shoulders, and his downturned eyes both of which gave him a somewhat androgynous appearance belied a spirit as clear as if all impurities had been purged.

Lauren, whose boyish form housed the soul of a sage, occasionally wore this detached expression.

“Lauren?”

“Sister. You shouldn’t play coy.”

“P-play coy?”

“Don’t pretend you haven’t noticed Atrey’s resolve.”

“Lauren…”

“He’s serious.”

She couldn’t remember how she had gotten here.

She had left Lauren’s room, walked down the hallway, descended the stairs. She was sure of it yet it all felt strangely unreal.

Atrey’s resolve.

Atrey’s seriousness.

It was because she understood that resolve and seriousness that Atrey’s mother had allowed the dress to be gifted, and had even presented Hildegard with the amber jewelry herself.

“Atrey… Are you really sure about this? Is this truly what you want? You could have been free. This time, you wouldn’t have to be entangled with us.”

Sitting on the sofa in the entrance hall, waiting for Atrey to arrive, Hildegard turned Lauren’s words over in her mind.

Yes, Atrey had said it himself.

“No matter what path I take, I make my own choices and move forward with conviction. You don’t need to worry about me, nor do you have the right to decide my happiness or unhappiness for me.”

His life was his own, no matter what choices lay ahead and Hildegard didn’t need to worry about it, he had said.

Atrey, can I really trust you?

I’m afraid of being hurt again by someone I believed in and loved.

If even you were to betray me, I’d stay alone forever never again wishing to return from death.

I’d just shut myself away in the underworld and stay there with the god of the dead for eternity.

“That would be a problem.”

“Huh?”

The moment a shadow fell over her, the voice reached her ears, and Hildegard jerked her head up in surprise.

“I called your name, you know. Even the butler was trying to get your attention. But, well Your inner monologue was just too loud. I wasn’t sure when to interrupt.”

“Wh-wha— Did I say something just now?”

“Atrey, are you really sure—”

“Okay, okay, I won’t say another word!”

Her unfiltered thoughts had been heard from the very beginning.

Still seated on the sofa, Hildegard looked up at Atrey, who knelt to meet her gaze.

“Atrey?”

Atrey took her right hand, resting on her knee, into his own. The gentle grasp seemed to draw every nerve in her body to her fingertips.

“Hildegard.”

“……”

“Will you accept my resolve?”

“Atrey…”

There were so many things she wanted to ask, so many things she wanted to say.

Are you really sure about this?

You don’t have to choose a spouse from among your relatives. There are plenty of noblewomen who would suit you.

Being with me means being bound to my life, entangled in my struggles.

And what if… what if we can’t even have children—

“I’m aware of all of it. That last one is just your pessimistic speculation, isn’t it? Even if it were true, we could always find a bright young heir to adopt.”

Atrey had picked up every one of Hildegard’s unfiltered thoughts and answered them all.

Then, slowly lifting her hand, he pressed the lightest of kisses just a brush of his lips against the very tip of her fingernail.