I’ve Decided to Let You Go - Chapter 59

When Natasha returned, what greeted her was a warm and familiar welcome. Not just her personal maid, but several other attendants rushed to her, eager to share everything that had happened while she was away.

“Madam, did you enjoy your trip?”

“We missed you so much! The mansion felt so quiet without you and His Grace.”

Their cheerful chatter reminded her of little chicks chirping together, it was genuinely endearing.

“How are things between you and His Grace?”

“Huh?”

“We’ve been dying to hear about your trip together!”

Even the sweet little chicks had their own curiosity.

Their sparkling eyes were fixed on her, hoping to draw out every detail of what had happened between Natasha and Sieghart. The earlier small talk now seemed like a clever warm-up before diving into the real questions.

“It was just a trip,” she said casually, “Nothing special.”

“But we want to know what happened during that trip!”

Natasha gave a half-shrug, pretending not to understand.

Unfortunately for them, the romantic story they were hoping for didn’t exist. Yes, there had been a few emotional moments, but nothing they would call romantic.

After all, they weren’t looking for “Thank you for enduring his fake kindness,” or “Maybe I can finally let go of some of the resentment.” They wanted a dreamy tale, and this wasn’t it.

Still, Natasha didn’t have the heart to turn them down completely. So, she began recounting their journey.

She told them how they had traveled through the western provinces of the Empire, then moved on to the duchy, staying for a time at the Belchester estate. She described her experiences visiting the duchy for the first time, the unexpected night they spent in a cave, and even the events of their wedding anniversary.

Oddly enough, the attendants seemed most interested in “the night spent in the cave.”

“Can you tell us more about that part?”

“I’ll tell you next time during tea. For now, I’ve got work to do.”

“Aww…”

Besides the warm welcome, a mountain of paperwork also waited for Natasha. Two full weeks away was more than enough time for the tasks to pile up.

Perhaps knowing this, not a single attendant complained when Natasha gently drew the line.

“All right, we’ll come get you once dinner is ready.”

“Thank you. Please do.”

“Would you like some tea brought in before then?”

“That would be lovely.”

Their disappointed faces immediately brightened with smiles.

“Oh, and Kayeina, could you bring the tea this time?”

Just as the others were about to leave, Natasha stopped them and made the request directly.

“Yes, of course.”

Feeling Natasha’s gaze lingering on her, Kayeina responded with a quiet, delayed smile. Her normally composed expression slowly shifted into something softer.

Once the commotion faded, Natasha was finally able to focus.

She started with the most urgent documents that needed her approval today. She also reviewed the trip expenses and carefully logged every transaction.

“Whew…”

There was still a long way to go, but with the most pressing matters handled, she felt a sense of relief.

To take a short break, she decided to look through the letters that had arrived. These weren’t official messages addressed to the duchess, but personal letters sent to Natasha Aschart herself.

There were notes from Countess Reon, Lady Dorothea, and Lady Helen, the women with whom she occasionally kept in touch.

She planned to write her replies after dinner.

That’s when she noticed something unusual—a single envelope she didn’t recognize.

It was tucked between the others, and unlike the rest, it had no return address. The sealing wax was also smudged, as if someone had intentionally tried to obscure the sender’s identity.

“A letter from the imperial family?”

One name came to mind immediately.

But all letters from the imperial family were handled directly by Sieghart.

Natasha had once asked Jenkins about not receiving any correspondence from Emperor Kail Letius. Usually calm and unreadable, Jenkins had visibly flinched at the question before admitting that any imperial letters meant for her were being handled personally by the duke.

“Then how did this one get to me?”

Simply covering up the sender wasn’t enough. Jenkins personally reviewed all suspicious mail or gifts. If this envelope had made it to her desk, it meant something had bypassed the usual system.

“I’ve brought your tea.”

She was still deep in thought when a knock startled her.

Had it already been two hours?

“Yes, come in.”

Kayeina stepped into the room carrying a tray. A teapot and two matching cups were neatly arranged. After asking for permission, she gently placed a filled cup before Natasha.

“Thank you, Kayeina.”

“I’m only doing my job. How is everything going with the work?”

“I managed to handle the urgent stuff. Traveling is fun while it lasts, but the aftermath is exhausting.”

“As long as it was a good trip, that’s what counts.”

As Natasha sipped her tea, she noticed Kayeina’s eyes focusing intently on something. Her gaze was quiet but sharp, fixed on a single item.

Natasha, pretending not to notice, casually followed her line of sight.

They were both looking at the same thing, the strange, unmarked letter.

“…Didn’t they say Kayeina visits the imperial palace every ten days?”

“Yes, they did. In fact, she’s gone so often that even the palace guards all know her face.”

At that moment, Natasha suddenly remembered something Charlotte Tristana had once said.

Natasha set down her teacup and picked up the letter. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed a faint tremble in Kayeina’s shoulders. There was a tension in her posture that hadn’t been there before.

“Kayeina, about this letter,” Natasha said calmly, “can you give it to Jenkins on your way out?”

“You haven’t even opened it… Are you sure you don’t want to check it first?”

“There’s no need to read a letter when we don’t even know who sent it.”

“But still…”

Kayeina hesitated, clearly conflicted. Her lips parted like she had more to say but eventually, she gave a small nod.

“Alright. I’ll hand it to the steward on my way.”

She slipped the letter into her left pocket.

Natasha knew her habits well. Kayeina Ten had been her companion since their days in the palace, and she was someone Natasha trusted enough to know her smallest routines.

Kayeina was right-handed. She always put personal belongings in her left pocket, and anything given to her to deliver went into the right. When she was in a rush and made a mistake, she corrected it immediately—because that system helped her stay organized.

Natasha said nothing more. She simply waited and watched.

But Kayeina didn’t move the letter.

That confirmed it. Kayeina was the one who had brought the letter.

So then, what was inside it? Was it really from Emperor Kail Letius? Had he finally realized that every letter he sent was intercepted by Sieghart and now decided to reach Natasha through Kayeina?

If Kayeina had chosen to side with Emperor Kail Letius…

Natasha didn’t open the letter. She couldn’t. Not yet.

Could it be that Kayeina, too, wanted to see her fall? Like Kail Letius had, did she want to see Natasha broken?

The fragile bond between them, the trust they had built, now felt like it was hanging by a thread.

When had it started? Back at the palace? Or only after she came to the Aschart estate?

Natasha’s gaze lingered on the edge of the letter, slightly visible from the hem of Kayeina’s skirt.

She remembered waking up the morning after she and Sieghart had spent the night together. It had been Kayeina who woke her gently, pointing to the blood on the sheets, calling it proof.

“Madam, I’ve noticed you haven’t had your cycle lately. Could it be… that you’re pregnant?”

“It’s probably nothing, but it wouldn’t hurt to check. Let’s go into town together.”

“I overheard the maids saying strange things… they joked about slipping something into your tea while you slept. At first, I thought it was ridiculous. But now…”

Whenever disaster struck, Kayeina had been there. She was always the one to bring the news, to guide Natasha through it, as if it was all just natural timing.

She was also the only one who could confirm what had happened between Natasha and Sieghart. The only one who brought the doctor who confirmed both her pregnancy—and later, her miscarriage.

If that really was Kayeina…

Natasha didn’t want to believe it. But looking away wouldn’t make it untrue.

She thought back to what started it all. The moment just before that night Kayeina claimed had happened.

There had been a kiss, heated and confusing. Then something was pushed into her mouth, hot and suffocating. Her thoughts blurred, and her body collapsed. In her final memory, Sieghart was gripping her tightly.

“There were no plans to go to the duchy this time.”

That meant he wouldn’t have been angry, unless he’d learned something unexpected.

But if that night had truly been orchestrated by Kayeina… it would happen again. Even in this life.

If her enemy truly wanted her to suffer, they would find a way. Just like Kail Letius had when he forced poison down her throat at the coronation.

They would do anything to destroy her trust.

There was only one thing left to do—face it. Natasha decided to provoke her.

“Kayeina, you know… I’ve always been grateful for you.”

“…Pardon?”

“I really think I adjusted to life here at the estate because of you. And things between His Grace and me have been going well.”

“…”

“I’m truly happy. I think His Grace loves me. Meliana mentioned it—apparently, society is jealous of our marriage these days.”

Natasha pictured someone else entirely as she spoke and mirrored the expression she had seen on that other woman’s face. Her smile grew as if it had been gently carved there.

“I’ve decided to trust His Grace completely. No matter how much time passes, I believe he won’t change. And now that I feel that trust building between us… I think I’d like to have his child.”

Her tone was bright, almost excited. Her fingertips brushed lightly across her cheek as if she were daydreaming. Her soft voice and delicate expression painted a picture of gentle affection.

“A child between us… That would be the happiest moment of my life. I think His Grace would be happy too.”

To anyone watching, she looked like any joyful young wife, glowing with hope. It was a mask, a polished charm she had once learned from someone else. But Natasha had made it her own.

“Of course,” Kayeina said smoothly. “His Grace would be thrilled. A child who takes after you would be sweet and beautiful.”

Natasha couldn’t bring herself to smile.

She just wanted the truth to come sooner rather than later.

So, she could decide for herself, whether to trust again the person she had once loved most in this harsh world.

Soon, please.

Support