I’ve Decided to Let You Go - Chapter 41

“I’m sorry.”

“”

“I’m sorry, Natasha.”

A faint figure trembled in the depths of the red abyss, curled up and shaking. The uneven vibrations made it hard to tell who was shaking. The confusion made it impossible to identify the source.

What was it?

Was it the destruction of Natasha’s home?

Was it being part of the group that killed her parents?

Was it suggesting that their heads be displayed proudly in front of the imperial palace walls?

Or was it for something she didn’t even know about—ten regressions into the past?

Natasha could not bring herself to ask. There was no point. She didn’t think his answer was worth hearing. It didn’t matter what he felt guilty about.

Even if the man apologized for the rest of his life, what was lost would never return.

“I just want to ask you one thing.”

“”

“Why did you marry me, Sieghart?”

She chose to ask a different question. Whether it was in the past life or this one, she wanted to know why he had married her.

The man didn’t answer right away. He hesitated, his face filled with quiet pain. As the silence grew heavier, he finally spoke.

“At first, it was an imperial order.”

An imperial order…

At last, Natasha understood why he had changed so suddenly in the previous life.

A marriage to fulfill a royal command. It explained the confusing situation perfectly.

He had only pretended to love her to win her over when she pushed him away. Once the task of marriage was complete, he threw her away like a tool he no longer needed.

“I see. Then, since Your Grace married me as ordered, isn’t it over now? I don’t see why we need to stay together. And I really don’t understand why you’re being kind to me. Do you have some cruel desire to make your enemy fall in love with you?”

“I’m not staying married because of the imperial order. That’s not why I chose to marry you either.”

“And you expect me to believe that?”

Natasha let out a bitter laugh.

So, it wasn’t because of the order? Neither the marriage nor staying in it? She found it ridiculous.

“Believe me.”

“”

“Please, believe me.”

There was desperation in his voice, buried under the firmness.

“My past, my mistakes. Your hatred, the way we’ve missed each other. Let go of all that. Just this one thing—my plea, my apology—”

“”

“Please, believe only that. Just that.”

She couldn’t accept it.

His past and his sins. Her anger and her thirst for revenge. How could those things lead to trust instead of mistrust?

Natasha was honestly amazed by his selfishness, begging her to believe him. But she couldn’t mock him. Maybe his desperation made it harder to speak. Her lips stayed tightly closed.

Her fingers, clutching her dress, grew cold. It felt as if his sorrowful plea, filled with hope and longing, gently wrapped around her hand.

The House of Duke Aschart was enjoying a time of prosperity.

At first, people worried when the rising Aschart family brought a fallen princess in as their duchess. But after the Duke was recently named a Knight of Honor, the negative rumors faded away.

The Duchess had already earned her place within the family. With a successful marriage and her husband’s recognition, they now had back-to-back blessings.

To celebrate, the House of Aschart hosted a banquet for the first time since its founding.

Until now, they had only attended imperial banquets and stayed away from social events. News of this banquet quickly became the biggest topic in high society.

The most admired family in the Empire was hosting its first banquet.

The nobles acted like it was no big deal, but secretly, they waited eagerly for an invitation. Some even sent extravagant gifts ahead of time to show their interest.

Other northern families hosted small dining parties, hoping to build closer relationships with the Ascharts.

Because of the Duke and Duchess’s poor health, they couldn’t attend in person. Instead, they sent a few of the Duchess’s closest attendants in their place.

Usually, sending others without an invitation would be considered rude. But the families were so eager to form connections that they gladly accepted the arrangement.

Today, three such attendants were scheduled to attend a countryside party hosted by Count Porter. Dressed beautifully, they arrived at the Duke’s office with the head maid to say goodbye before leaving.

“Thanks to Your Grace’s generosity, we’re able to enjoy such luxury,” said Kayeina with a graceful smile.

Behind her, Meliana and Vanessa nodded and added their thoughts.

“We’ll make sure to judge whether Count Porter and his wife are people who would harm Her Grace.”

“If the young viscount turns out to be especially handsome, I’ll come back just to let you know.”

“Oh my, Lady Reon? That sounds like a very personal reason!”

“Lady Wilts! I’m telling you, it’s all for the upcoming banquet. If the ladies have something nice to look at, wouldn’t that help make the Aschart banquet truly unforgettable?”

Seeing them joke so easily, it was clear the handmaids had grown quite close. Natasha, still working on her documents, smiled softly, quietly pleased.

The head maid, who had been shaking her head with a smile, turned toward the duchess and asked carefully.

“Still, are you sure you’re all right, Your Grace? Just a few days ago, you were quite unwell…”

“The illness has passed, and the cold I caught is nearly gone. I’m fine now, except for a bit of coughing now and then.”

“I’m very glad to hear you’re feeling better. Even so, I can’t help but worry. I wonder if maybe you’re pushing yourself too much.”

“Pushing myself? I’ve already taken more than enough rest. Besides, I don’t want people saying the banquet was delayed because of the festival.”

Since the mysterious duchess appeared at the coronation, she had been the center of attention. With so many eyes on her, she couldn’t afford to give anyone a reason to criticize her.

“And anyway, wouldn’t it be best to hold the banquet while we’re all at our brightest?”

“Yes, Your Grace. We’ll make sure you shine brighter than anyone else in the Empire.”

The head maid, realizing she couldn’t talk the duchess out of it, accepted her decision and gave a strong, loyal answer. The three handmaids behind her followed suit, bowing their heads respectfully.

It was a touching moment.

Even if these relationships began under Sieghart’s favor, they had grown into something much deeper—bonds built on trust and respect for Natasha herself. Genuine support and care. Things the Natasha of her past life could never have hoped for here.

“We’ll need to prepare the invitations early for the guests coming from the distant north. Let’s begin the planning next week. Oh, Kayeina, could you keep your schedule open? I’d like to visit the salon with you.”

“Of course! Just let me know whenever you’d like.”

After exchanging polite goodbyes, Natasha sent them off, wishing them a pleasant day.

She was scheduled to meet with the steward shortly.

After organizing a few remaining papers, Natasha stepped outside—just as she heard someone approach.

“Your Grace, wait.”

It was Vanessa, who should have already left for Count Porter’s estate.

“Vanessa? Did you decide not to go after all?”

“No, I just asked for a little more time. There’s something I really wanted to tell you…”

Vanessa looked around nervously, then lowered her head. She seemed to be checking whether anyone else was nearby.

She must want to say something private. Natasha gently leaned down, inviting her to speak more quietly if needed.

“Your Grace, please be careful.”

“If it’s important, there’s no need to hold back between friends. Take your time and tell me.”

Natasha’s gentle tone seemed to give Vanessa the courage she needed. She hesitated for a moment, then started speaking carefully.

“It’s about Lady Ten…”

“Kayeina?”

Vanessa simply nodded, as if she didn’t want to say the name again.

“Oh, if it’s about going to the salon together, we can plan that for next time—”

“No, it’s not that! I wanted to speak to you privately about something else.”

Vanessa quickly corrected her, then once again glanced down the hallway. Clearly, this was something she didn’t want anyone else to hear.

“The other day, when Lady Ten and I went to the tea party hosted by Baroness Schneider… while I stepped away for a moment, the two of them were chatting about the festival. I didn’t catch everything, but it sounded like they mentioned you, Your Grace.”

Natasha suddenly remembered what Meliana had told her.

“I’ve heard there are strange rumors going around the social circles. I need to go clear them up.”

There were unpleasant rumors about the Duchess of Aschart. Meliana had said the source of the gossip was suspicious. One rumor claimed Natasha and the Duke were only pretending to be married. It seemed absurd, but the details were surprisingly specific.

Even information about their bedroom, their schedules, and the meals they shared—things no one outside the household should know. That’s why Meliana was convinced someone from within the estate was spreading the story.

“I thought I should say something, just in case…”

“It’s a misunderstanding, Vanessa.”

Natasha answered firmly but kindly, trying to ease Vanessa’s worries.

“But… Your Grace…”

Vanessa looked like she was about to cry, as if she were being accused of stirring trouble between the two women. Her voice trembled as she tried to defend herself.

“I just wanted to help. I was only thinking of you. I didn’t want to cause any harm.”

“I know. And I appreciate that. I just want you to get along with Kayeina. It doesn’t help anyone when there’s tension between people on the same side. I’ll look into it. Thank you for telling me.”

Natasha reached out and gently held Vanessa’s hand. Her calm reassurance seemed to lift the weight off Vanessa’s shoulders. Vanessa gave a bright smile, said she should get going, and left with a light step.

Who should I trust?

Natasha walked to the window and looked outside. She watched Vanessa climb into the carriage and felt a deep unease settle in her chest.

Kayeina Ten—her lifelong friend and the one who had once saved her life.

Vanessa Wilts—a maid she hadn’t known long, but who had shown sincere loyalty.

One of them was wearing a mask.

She needed to find out who was truly on her side and who was not.

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