I’ve Decided to Let You Go - Chapter 35

When he opened his eyes, he was greeted by a world of pure white. Even when the Aschart territory had been blanketed in snow, it had never looked this bright.

A soft breeze brushed against his skin. It wasn’t strong, but its gentle touch moved him forward without resistance, until he stopped in front of the platform.

Brilliant light in every color poured down from above. It was more dazzling than any rainbow on a clear day. And within that light stood a sword he knew well—the sacred sword granted to the Knight of Honor.

Sieghart stepped forward and calmly grasped the blade. Tilting his head back, he closed his eyes and began to pray.

Then a voice echoed through the air.

“Do you truly wish to save that child?”

It was a question directed at him, the one who had drawn the sacred sword.

The voice was strange, unlike anything human. But Sieghart wasn’t shaken. He answered it calmly, as though it was familiar.

Yes,
he replied silently.

“Even in this life? Still?”

Yes,
he affirmed again.

“You’ve had more than one chance. You’ve returned again and again. Isn’t it time to accept that it’s all meaningless, chosen hero?”

No,
he answered, this time with certainty.

Even if it was the will of the gods, not everything deserved acceptance. Sieghart believed his efforts had never been in vain. Trying to hold on to someone you love wasn’t meaningless.

Even a stream of water slipping through your fingers left something behind. Even sand, sliding from your hand, left a few grains clinging to your skin.

Sieghart had followed that small hope all this way, clutching onto the faintest chance.

He wasn’t going to give up now.

“To her, this world is hell. She’ll suffer endlessly, trapped in pain and regret. And still, you would make the same choice, knowing your love could become her curse?”

Yes,
his answer remained the same.

“Then let her stay by my side, even if she withers while living. Let her survive until she can find happiness. That is what I believe.”

This time, he spoke aloud. And for the first time, his answer was longer than the question.

“What a selfish man you are.”

There was a soft laugh, faint and fading.

And with that, the conversation ended.

“Tisha, come here, dear. The weather is beautiful today.”

The moment Natasha opened her eyes, she was met with a vision she had longed for all her life.

In a garden overflowing with flowers, the Charlier royal family was gathered, enjoying a peaceful picnic together.

Queen Eleanor Charlier, her mother, stood with a bright smile, gently calling her closer.

As Natasha stood there stunned, someone ran past her. It was a younger version of herself, her face still soft and childlike.

Her golden hair was tied in neat braids, swaying as she ran into her mother’s arms. Normally, Eleanor would have scolded her for being too casual in public. But today, she said nothing.

Today, she wasn’t the queen upholding royal formality. She was simply a mother, watching over her daughter’s happiness. Eleanor had never been so distant that she couldn’t show warmth on her daughter’s birthday.

“Mother, is this garden really my birthday present?”

“Yes, Tisha. We even named it after you—Tisha’s Garden. I filled it with red roses, just like the color of your eyes.”

“I love it. It’s perfect.”

Soon, the rest of the family arrived, carrying her favorite cake, decorated with whipped cream.

With the presents piled on her lap, she took a deep breath and blew out the candles.

Whoosh.

The smoke curled upward and disappeared. Her silent wish seemed to rise up with it, floating high into the sky.

“Did you make your wish?”

Eleanor gently tucked a strand of hair behind her daughter’s ear as she asked, her voice soft and warm.

“Yes!”

“I won’t ask what it was. It must be something that needs to come true.”

“Hehe, it definitely will!”

Young Natasha beamed brightly as she answered.

Yes, she had wished with all her heart.

She wished that this happiness would last. That her family would stay healthy for a very, very long time.

There was a time when she had made such innocent wishes, not knowing what was to come.

After enjoying a dinner filled with her favorite dishes, the night had grown late. The chill in the breeze now pierced through her shawl, and it became harder to stay outside.

Her family stood and gently urged her to head in for the night. Still feeling light and content, Natasha followed behind them.

“Were you happy?” her father asked softly.

With a bright smile, young Natasha replied, “More than anything in the world!”

And just like that, they disappeared into the distance, fading into specks of light. They left as they were—in a moment of perfect happiness.

Only Natasha remained, standing alone like an outsider in that picture-perfect scene. Everyone else was happy, yet she alone felt hollow, distant.

“There was a time like that…”

She clenched her fists. Her eyes, now rimmed with red, slowly filled with tears. A warm drop traced down her cheek. Her heart felt carved out, but strangely, she didn’t sob. Maybe it was because those memories now felt too far away.

As she stood there in a daze, darkness crept in. She blinked twice, and a new door appeared before her.

Almost entranced, she reached for the handle and stepped through. The emotions she had just reclaimed after so long overwhelmed her.

On the other side of the door, the night sky unfolded like a painting. A full moon hung low, surrounded by countless stars in a breathtaking display.

Even in the quiet village of Flair, this kind of sky was rare. Sitting in front of a small fire, Tisha Winter huddled close to the warmth.

“You’ll catch a cold sitting like that.”

A man approached her gently, offering a warm shawl and a steaming cup of cocoa with a soft smile.

“But the sky is too beautiful to miss just because of the cold.”

Natasha took the cocoa, her fingers brushing his as she blew softly on the steam. Her calm, cheerful demeanor reflected the closeness between them.

“Then I have no choice.”

He chuckled and bent down beside her. She, sensing what he meant to do, scooted over slightly to make room.

“I’ll just have to share my warmth to keep you from getting sick.”

He sat beside her, slowly moving his hand. His large fingers brushed against hers, gently asking for permission to hold her hand.

“You’re being surprisingly sweet today.”

“Do you not like it?”

“No. I was saying it’s cute.”

Her words came with a playful smile, and she didn’t pull away. When she curled her fingers slightly, his intertwined with hers, as if weaving a thread between them.

Her heart began to beat slowly. Neither of them spoke, afraid to ruin the moment with unnecessary words. It wasn’t clear anymore whose hand was whose.

Yes, there was a time like that.

A fragile emotion welled up from within her. It spread through her chest like the lingering bitterness of something sweet left too long on the tongue.

From there, Natasha stepped through more doors—each one revealing another memory, another moment of happiness.

Unlike the painful flashbacks she had once relived, these memories were warm. They showed only the joyful moments.

Her fifteenth birthday in the royal palace. Her mother’s lullaby, reluctantly sung after Natasha begged. Quiet nights under the stars with someone she loved. A shared, accidental kiss. A proposal. Their first night together.

Eventually, walking through these doors became painful.

She already knew the ending of all these feelings—emotions she once believed would last forever. Now, they were only fading memories, like a ship sinking in the distance. Happiness, once solid in her hands, had turned to grains of sand.

“Ah… ah…”

She was too weak to understand the will of a divine being.

Why show her these memories now, at the moment of death?

Wouldn’t it be better to replay only the tragedies, to keep her heart hardened until the end?

This felt too cruel.

Kneeling on the floor, Natasha silently watched the rest of her memories unfold.

Sometimes, she saw a woman who secretly smiled when her sleeve brushed against her husband’s. Then she saw a foolish duchess blushing from a single word of kindness. And after that, a future mother who found the strength to keep living after discovering she was carrying a child.

That was the last of it.

The darkness returned, and the next door she was supposed to open never appeared. As if to say, Natasha’s happiness had come to an end.

Time passed in silence. Then, slowly, light began to return.

The first thing she saw was a grand chandelier, its surface studded with crystals that glimmered above her like stars.

“This place…”

Stained glass windows arched high on either side, casting colored light across the room. The ceiling stretched toward the heavens, and beneath it stood a solid platform, flanked by a row of white statues.

It was the prayer room of the temple.

A moment later, a shimmering haze began to drift toward her. The mist split into two thin trails and gently wrapped around her body.

The soft warmth brushing her skin felt oddly familiar. It carried the subtle scent of incense—the same kind the temple priests burned during their prayers.

“Did I… die?”

She asked the question instinctively, her voice distant and dull, as if speaking to herself.

You were meant to.

The reply came immediately, clear and calm.

I gave you ten chances. Even after all that, you still tried to cross into death. So, I thought there was no longer any reason to stop you.

The voice wasn’t human. It wasn’t even animal. It sounded like something beyond understanding, like the very laws of the world speaking aloud.

But Natasha understood, even without being told.

She knew.

This presence, the one that kept bringing her back was the god of this world.

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