It's Too Late for Regrets - Chapter 6.1

From the depths of his memory, something Ines had said around three years ago suddenly came to mind.

 

“I wish I could leave the Grand Duke’s house for a few years.”

 

To leave. Or to run away. Even after years had passed, those words were something he could never accept. Was she still thinking about Jenaire?

 

Rayan frowned and moved his hand again, which had paused.

 

Knock, knock. He knocked on the door. It was not a gentle gesture.

 

There was a small scream from behind the door, probably startled.

 

Something rustled. It sounded like someone getting up. She must have been sitting right in front of the door.

 

Why was she sitting on the cold floor…?

 

Was she sick? A hundred thoughts quickly raced through his mind. If she was unwell, where exactly?

 

The court physician’s records hadn’t mentioned anything serious.

 

“…Sigh.”

 

Rayan pressed down those thoughts with a heavy sigh. Then he spoke.

 

“Ines.”

 

The rustling from behind the door stopped immediately. She had heard his voice.

 

Rayan spoke more firmly.

 

“Come see me for a moment.”

 

Even though he was sure she had heard, no response came from beyond the door.

 

Instead, he heard small footsteps. Judging from the sound moving farther away, she was walking deeper into the room.

 

A child’s whimpering was faintly heard.

 

“Shh, it’s okay. It’s your father.” Ines’s soft whisper to the child also reached him.

 

Rayan placed his hand on the doorknob and burned through what little patience he had—especially for Ines.

 

After what felt like several hours, though only seconds had passed, Ines finally spoke.

 

“Come in, Your Highness.”

 

As soon as he heard those words, Rayan opened the door.

 

She was sitting at a small table by the window. Her back was to him, and it looked small and fragile.

 

Ines turned her head slightly to glance at him. She gave a faint, unclear smile.

 

“What brings you here personally?”

 

“…”

 

“Didn’t Alveron tell you? I said it twice…”

 

She didn’t even stand up. She didn’t turn fully toward him, either.

 

Rayan looked around the room. As expected of the Grand Duchess’s bedroom, it was luxurious—but there was an odd coldness in the air.

 

His son was sitting on the wide bed.

 

“Father…”

 

The four-year-old murmured, his words slurred like a young child’s. His face was filled with both anxiety and joy.

 

Rayan looked at his son with indifferent eyes.

 

Caesar didn’t look like him. With his black hair, soft eyes, nose, and lips, he looked entirely like Ines.

 

Would he have felt more affection if the boy resembled him a little more? Probably not. Even if he did, he wouldn’t have paid much more attention than he did now.

 

All his nerves were tightly controlled by the mother, after all.

 

Rayan turned his head back to Ines, thinking that. She was still looking out the window.

 

He chose his words carefully. He didn’t want to pressure her.

 

“Did you forget today was the day for your outing outside the Grand Duke’s house?”

 

“…No. I remember.”

 

“Then, are you not feeling well?”

 

His wife didn’t answer. Rayan suddenly felt frustrated and took a step forward.

 

He was right next to her now. Rayan placed his hand on the back of her chair.

 

“I asked if you’re feeling unwell, Ines.”

 

“…I feel about the same as usual.”

 

She must have noticed that he was right behind her, because her body visibly stiffened.

 

If I even place a hand on her shoulder, she’ll probably have a fit.

 

Every time Ines reacted sensitively to such small contact, it felt like a thin needle pricking his heart.

 

Rayan masked his stirred emotions with an expressionless face and a flat voice.

 

“Then get ready and let’s go.”

 

Instead of answering, Ines looked up at him. Rayan flinched for a moment when he saw her blue eyes.

 

They were so dark and sunken, he couldn’t believe it was the same woman who had smiled so brightly at their son in the garden that afternoon.

 

“I don’t want to go.”

 

It was a quiet yet firm refusal.

 

Rayan was speechless for a moment. Ines looked at him briefly, then turned her head back.

 

She stood up. Rayan opened his mouth and called her.

 

“Ines.”

 

She didn’t answer. She just walked past him.

 

Her pale profile looked like a calm, ripple-free lake. A faint scent lingered in the air but slowly faded as she moved away.

 

Ines approached her son, who was sitting on the bed with anxious eyes darting around. Caesar’s confused green eyes shifted between his mother and the father behind her.

 

Ines picked up the child and lowered him to the floor.

 

“Caesar, go to your father.”

 

“M-Mom…”

 

The boy, just over three years old, teared up. His gaze was fixed on the left side of Ines’s face.

 

Ines smiled as if it was nothing.

 

“Mom…”

 

“You said you missed your father, didn’t you? He hasn’t come in a while, so go and ask him for a hug.”

 

Instead of answering, the child reached out his hand.

 

He gently stroked Ines’s red, swollen left cheek.

 

It was the cheek that had been slapped earlier that day, when the child insisted on going to the garden and was caught by Kyra. The garden had been in full view from Rayan’s office.

 

“Mooom…”

 

Tears welled up again in Caesar’s eyes. Ines smiled and silently mouthed the words: I’m okay.

 

She took his hand down and gently pushed his back. Days when the child saw his father were rare.

 

“….”

 

Caesar hesitantly walked forward. Rayan looked down at his small son approaching him.

 

Up close, he looked even smaller and more fragile than from afar. His tear-filled eyes were the same color as Rayan’s, but his eye shape resembled Ines’s so much that they reminded him of her blue eyes.

 

In the end, Rayan picked him up. The child was so light, it was as if he weighed nothing.

 

The boy called him cautiously.

 

“Father.”

 

“…Yeah.”

 

Rayan gave only a short answer, but Caesar’s face lit up instantly. He gently wrapped his arms around Rayan’s neck.

 

It felt unfamiliar. Rayan turned his gaze from the boy to the woman sitting on the bed, trying to shake off that feeling.

 

“Is this about the child? Is that why you’re acting like this today?”

 

“No.”

 

“Then why are you acting differently than usual?”

 

Ines still didn’t look at him. She stayed quietly behind the bed’s canopy and replied calmly.

 

“I’m not acting differently. I’m still living quietly, as if dead.”

 

“….”

 

“If you think I’m different just because I didn’t obey your command today…”

 

“I just want to know the reason.”

 

Like if her body hurt somewhere. Or if something had happened.

 

The words reached his throat but stopped there. Didn’t he look like he was worried?

 

Caesar shifted uncomfortably in his arms. Ines didn’t answer and simply stared at him with her blue eyes. Just as Rayan’s frustration peaked—

 

Ines asked in the same indifferent tone.

 

“What if I just said I didn’t feel like going out today? Isn’t that reason enough?”

 

That one sentence completely flipped his already twisted mood.

 

Caesar gasped when he saw his father’s face twist in anger. Rayan put the boy down on a chair and stepped forward.

 

Ines was right in front of him now.

 

With a sharp movement, he swept the canopy aside.

 

“Ines, if you have a problem, just say it clearly. Don’t protest like this—”

 

But Rayan couldn’t finish.

 

Her blue eyes were still dry as ever as she looked up at him.

 

But before that, what he saw—

 

Her left cheek was red and swollen, in stark contrast to her pale, thin right cheek.

 

Rayan froze with the canopy still lifted.

 

“You’re always the same, Your Highness.”

 

Ines looked straight at him. Even the desire to hide her face from him had been crushed by this man.

 

The anger she thought had long died flared up violently.

 

When you need me, you act like you have no feelings at all. But the moment I don’t do as you want, you charge in and demand answers.

 

Are you even human?

 

If you were, you wouldn’t treat even a dog like this.

 

She let out a bitter laugh.

 

“Would you even listen to me if I spoke? From someone who doesn’t even treat a bastard like a person.”

 

“….”

 

“Well, now you know. Why I can’t go outside today.”

 

Ines dropped her gaze from her husband with indifference.

 

Rayan bit his lip and grabbed her shoulder as she sat on the bed. With his other hand, he forced her chin toward him.

 

“Who was it?”

 

“I’m fine, Your Highness. Since you’re here, you should spend some time with Caesar…”

 

“Ines!”

 

Rayan finally gritted his teeth and cut her off.

 

“Stop talking about the child. I’m asking who did this to you.”

 

“You want me to stop talking about him?”

 

Ines laughed like it was absurd.

 

“Your Highness. Do you know it’s been over a month since you last held Caesar?”

 

“I told you to stop dodging the question. Did the physician see it?”

 

“Why… are you acting like this all of a sudden?”

 

That question stopped Rayan in his tracks. Ines blinked. Her expression said she didn’t understand.

 

“You don’t even care. No matter where I am or what happens to me. It has nothing to do with you.”

 

She tilted her head, mumbling, then suddenly let out a sound of realization.

 

“Ah…”

 

Then she started fumbling with her chest. The thin ribbon that held her front closed came undone.

 

Then the buttons popped off, revealing skin so pale it looked ghostly. Rayan could only stare in shock.