It's Too Late for Regrets - Chapter 5.1

“I hope you won’t accept things like this anymore.”
She spoke.

Her heart pounded like it was about to burst. Just saying that one sentence made her so nervous that she felt a little dizzy.

Rayan’s green eyes turned toward her.
“Why?”
“Because…”
Rayan waited for her answer for a moment.
“I have news to tell you. You’ll understand when you hear it. I’ve been feeling unwell since last month…”

But it didn’t seem like that was the answer he wanted. As he raised his eyebrow, Ines froze.

His cold expression. Like that day—when he got angry and locked her in the bedroom without mercy…

When Ines, pale and trembling, couldn’t continue speaking, Rayan slightly frowned.
“If you’re sick, call the doctor. Ines. Don’t worry about things like this.”

At some point, Ines had started trembling every time she saw him.
She knew why she reacted this way. That incident a couple of months ago was still stuck in her heart.

Since then, he hadn’t treated her kindly even once, so it was only natural for her to be this scared.
In truth, that was his intention from the beginning. If kindness didn’t work, then fear would at least make her quietly stay here.

But seeing her so afraid she couldn’t even speak a full sentence was annoying.
Didn’t she chatter freely in front of Edgar? The Ines from back then seemed like a completely different person compared to now. Even though only a few months had passed.

“Your Grace,”
She finally opened her mouth. But Rayan was no longer listening.
“Your Grace, please don’t act like this today.”
“Terrio.”
“Please don’t treat me this way today…”

The called attendant came into the office.
Rayan motioned his head toward her.
“Clean it up.”

Ines’s eyes widened. Her entire body turned cold at his cold command.
“Yes, Your Grace.”

The attendant bowed deeply to Rayan and walked over to Ines. But he didn’t offer her even a slight nod of respect, despite her status as the Grand Duchess.

He walked up to her and—
“…!”
—began picking up the letters scattered at her feet.

Only then did Ines manage to let out the breath she had been holding.
Thump, thump. Her heart was beating so fast she felt like vomiting.

She clenched her teeth and barely held back the nausea.
<“Take that out of my sight.”>
Her grandfather, the old Emperor of Jenaire, had once said that while looking at her with eyes full of contempt. His voice echoed in her mind like a hallucination. She shook her head to chase it away and barely managed to part her lips.

“I’m… pregnant.”

Rayan’s steps came to a halt.

In that short moment, countless thoughts flashed through Ines’s mind.
What if he hated a child born from a woman he didn’t like? The child did nothing wrong…

Rayan slowly turned to look at her. Ines hurried to add,
“It’s been just over two months.”
“…Two months? When was that?”

After a short silence, Rayan asked. A slight wrinkle between his brows suggested he was trying to recall something.

He wouldn’t be checking to see if the child was really his, would he? He couldn’t be calculating the timing for that, right?

But Rayan was someone who might actually think that way.
Ines tightly grasped the hem of her dress.
“That time, at night. On the balcony. Or even after that…”
“Ah.”
“You weren’t here before that.”

Rayan let out a small sound and lowered his gaze. His green eyes were fixed deeply on her belly and waist.

He stepped closer to her. She backed away reflexively.
But he didn’t let her. His strong hand grabbed her shoulder and pulled her in. Ines stiffened.
“Stay still.”
“…”

With his other hand, Rayan reached for her stomach.

It was early in the pregnancy, and she had always been slim, so her belly was only slightly showing—barely noticeable.

But when touched, the difference could be felt. Her once slender frame had begun to round ever so slightly.
“How far along, exactly?”
“I’m not sure, but they said about ten weeks…”

Ten weeks would line up with the time Edgar left for Lezan.
That was when Rayan had been delaying his mountain of work to keep her close.

From the timeline, the child was likely his. It wasn’t possible Edgar had touched her.

But it was still hard for him to fully accept it.

“…Didn’t they say you had a body that couldn’t carry children?”

The doctor had said Ines didn’t have any life-threatening illness, but her constitution was too weak, making pregnancy nearly impossible.

So Rayan hadn’t expected this. The news left him dazed.

Held close in his arms, Ines whispered softly,
“I thought so too. I didn’t even imagine it, so I didn’t know what to do… but I felt I should tell you first.”
“Of course you should tell me.”

Rayan’s face slowly began to show satisfaction. He hadn’t expected it, but the child was a welcome relief to his long-held worries.

A child. Their child.

The perfect way to keep Ines tied to Eleanor forever.

“It’s been further along than I thought.”
If only he had known sooner. Then he could’ve made sure she stayed in the mansion for the next year.
But it still wasn’t too late.

Rayan held her cheeks and lifted her head. It had been a long time since he felt such joy while looking at her.

He was just about to lean in and kiss her when—
Ines whispered in a faint breath,
“Don’t worry. I don’t think the baby will make it.”
“…What?”

For a moment, he thought he misheard.

While he stood speechless in rare shock, Ines calmly continued,
“The doctor said there’s a high chance of miscarriage. I’m not expecting much either…”

Rayan cut her off in disbelief.
“No. This child will be born healthy. It has to be.”
“It might not…”
“Is it because you don’t want to have it?”

At his sharp question, Ines went quiet. Her gaze drifted somewhere over his chest and fell lifelessly.

It looked like a yes. Rayan let out a short, bitter laugh.
So she had even considered getting rid of it.

The difference in how they felt about the pregnancy was too stark. And he didn’t like that.

“You will have it.”
“…No matter what?”
“Yes.”
“…”
“I’ll send the doctor again this afternoon. Wait in your room. Don’t move around carelessly.”

Ines quietly listened to his words and murmured with a bitter smile,
“…Have I ever been allowed to do as I please?”
“Yes. So keep doing that from now on.”
“…Okay.”

Because Ines lowered her gaze completely, Rayan couldn’t read her expression. But he noticed her fingers trembling slightly.

‘…If I keep holding her like this, she might start crying.’

Rayan sighed deeply and pressed his temples. Then he let her go.
“You can go now.”

With that, he turned his back on her.

Unfortunately, to Ines, that back looked like he was building a cold, high wall—no more, no less.

He turned away as if her pregnancy meant nothing to him.

And Ines had no strength left to cry out at that wall. The only relief was that he didn’t yell at her to get rid of the baby.
“…I’ll go now.”
“Yes. Take care of yourself.”

His emotionless answer only fed the uneasy feeling she’d had ever since realizing she was pregnant.

Her child would not be welcomed in this grand mansion.

Just like she wasn’t.

So Ines couldn’t bring herself to say the one thing she truly wanted to say.

The door to the study closed behind her.
Ines silently whispered in her heart.
Rayan.

If I have this baby…
I don’t think I’ll live very long.

The news that Ines was pregnant quickly spread through the mansion staff. Most of them reacted coldly.

“She can get pregnant? I thought she was too frail for that.”
“Well, unless she’s a stone statue, this was bound to happen eventually… His Grace did visit her often, after all.”

Before Lord Rayan left for the Torgen expedition, he visited her at least once every two days. Even when he briefly returned to the mansion, he never failed to see her.

In fact, it was surprising it took this long. If Ines had been healthier, the news might’ve come sooner.

“His Grace is quite Jenaireous… He’s letting her carry the heir even after keeping her in Eleanor for so long.”
“Who knows. Maybe he has a plan? Like divorcing her before the baby is born.”

Most of the talk in the mansion was of that sort.

Those quiet whispers slowly ate away at Ines’s mind.

She didn’t realize it at first because she was used to it, but one day she looked back and found herself crying.

Sin would only give birth to more sin.

The child, not yet fully formed, was already treated like a criminal.

“The baby seems healthy. There doesn’t appear to be any major issues with Your Grace either, but you should still be more careful than usual.”

That evening, the doctor Rayan had sent examined her briefly, just like always. Ines replied in a dry voice,
“…I see.”

She didn’t trust the doctor much anyway. He had never properly checked her.

So a few days ago, Ines had secretly sent Lady Berry to the Kingdom of Apael.
To bring Robert.

She needed someone who could properly assess her condition.
It would take at least a month for a round trip from Eleanor to Apael.

‘I have to be careful until then…’

What she said to Rayan—that the baby might not make it—was the truth.

She hoped to endure, but maybe… maybe she wouldn’t.

After sending the doctor away, she opened the window to clear her troubled mind.

And just then—
The door swung open without permission.

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