It's Too Late for Regrets - Chapter 13.5

Ines never once believed that Rayan had truly stopped following her.

 

“It seems the Grand Duke has obtained information about the pilgrimage group. Since last Wednesday, the cathedral has been temporarily closed, and all the priests and novice priests have been investigated. One novice priest, who seems to be Eleanor’s spy, was identified.”

 

After Edgar whispered this information to her a week ago, leaving on Friday was no longer an option.

 

Then when would be a good time? If they waited too long, it would be hard to catch up to the pilgrimage group. But if they left now, they wouldn’t even make it outside the walls of Randeva.

 

‘I do want to get as far away as possible first.’

 

After some quick mental calculations, Ines made her decision.

 

“Wednesday at dawn. That would be best.”

 

“…The morning right after the Grand Duke returns?”

 

“Yes. I think that would be the most dramatic moment.”

 

Robert didn’t quite understand what she meant.

 

They were already risking everything trying to trick the Grand Duke and escape quietly. But now she wanted to leave in the most dramatic way?

 

Instead of answering his confusion, Ines murmured something unrelated.

 

“He hasn’t been sleeping. Probably since Thursday.”

 

Thursday, Friday, and the four days he was away from the mansion. That made six days in total. Ines’ eyes curved with faint satisfaction.

 

“I hope he gets a good night’s sleep the day he returns. Deep sleep. Without dreams.”

 

 

Tuesday.

 

Ines headed to the Count of Irope’s mansion with a few priests.

 

‘…It’s the same.’

 

She looked around the luxurious room she had stayed in a month and a half ago. Nothing had changed—the decorations and furniture were all in the same places. The only difference was the people.

 

The Count and Countess of Irope looked even more worn down than their daughter who lay unconscious. Just by looking, it was hard to tell who was actually sick.

 

Clara, Celia’s maid, also looked deeply worried.

 

“Please take good care of her again today, priests.”

 

To avoid dispersing the divine energy, no one except the priests was allowed into Celia’s room.

 

Ines looked at Clara backing away with a sorrowful gaze, then turned to the bed.

 

Even though it was midsummer, Celia was still covered with a thick quilt. She was still beautiful.

 

Her red hair was a bit limp, and her face pale and lifeless, but her natural beauty remained untarnished.

 

“I envied you…”

 

“What was I so jealous of?”

 

Ines muttered bitterly, yet a part of her understood.

 

Celia was still young.

 

She was twenty-three now. She had fallen for Rayan at first sight when she was seventeen and had relentlessly sent him marriage proposals even though he was already married. She was twenty-one when Kian found her dying after a carriage accident.

 

Ines herself had made many foolish decisions when she was that age, blinded by what she saw on the surface.

 

Just as Ines hadn’t been at fault, Celia was also innocent. Ines gently stroked her pale, delicate hand and whispered,

 

“There are many people waiting for you, Celia.”

 

Even if only for a short while, Ines had seen how much the Count and Countess loved their daughter.

 

Everyone in the mansion treated Celia, their only child, with the utmost care.

 

Even during her two years at Elroin Monastery, many precious gifts had arrived in Irope’s name.

 

But Celia would never open her eyes again.

 

She had borrowed the power of the oldest darkness just to stay alive.

 

No matter how many blessings the priests gave her, without removing the darkness surrounding her, all they were doing was layering divine power on top of a shell.

 

To bring her back, that ancient darkness within her body had to be removed first.

 

Ines thought deeply, then slowly smiled.

 

“…Yes. You shared your world with me, even if just for a short time.”

 

Even briefly, she had felt what a parent’s love was like, and danced freely under the title of Queen, adored and worshiped by all.

 

If it hadn’t been for Celia, she would’ve never even dreamed of such things.

 

“I’ll return you to your family.”

 

Ines stroked Celia’s pale cheek and gently brushed her messy hair.

 

“Wait for me. Even if it takes time, I’ll help you wake up again.”

 

Leaving those words behind, Ines stepped out of the innocent and young countess’s room.

 

By the time she fully left the Irope mansion, the sun was already setting.

 

As she got into the waiting carriage, she mentally calculated the time.

 

‘When that sun rises again…’

 

That would likely be her final farewell to Randeva. A faint smirk passed through her blue eyes.

 

That evening, Rayan returned.

 

 

When Rayan came back, Ines and Caesar were just about to have a late dinner.

 

As he rushed into the dining room, the first thing he saw was Ines trying her best to get Caesar to eat carrot soup.

 

An emotion he couldn’t describe in words crossed Rayan’s face.

 

“…Father!”

 

Caesar was the first to call out to him. As if drawn by the sound, Rayan slowly walked over to them.

 

Ines smiled softly and received the kiss from the man who had come close.

 

He smelled of the hot summer air.

 

The kind that made people feel suffocated…

 

“…It must be really hot outside.”

 

Ines whispered gently as she brushed back his silver hair from his forehead. Only then did relief begin to spread across Rayan’s face.

 

“A little.”

 

Ines watched with joy as the expression she had longed to see—his unburdened smile—finally returned.

 

“I missed you. I kept thinking I shouldn’t have gone… That I should’ve just stayed by your side….”

 

The end of his trembling voice cracked and shook. Rayan kissed her several more times, catching his breath, and then spoke haltingly.

 

“From now on, let’s go out less. Lezan’s summer gets even hotter than this.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“You said you wanted to do something tomorrow… I think I heard it but can’t remember…”

 

“Let’s decide that later. Sit down first.”

 

Fearing they’d repeat the same conversation for hours, Ines pulled him to sit next to her. It wasn’t the seat of honor, but it didn’t matter.

 

Immediately, utensils and dishes were placed in front of him.

 

Only after Caesar climbed into his lap did Rayan finally exhale all his remaining tension.

 

“…Caesar, didn’t I say your father shouldn’t be picky? Eat the rest quickly.”

 

“Okay. I don’t hate carrots.”

 

“But it’s not even one spoon less.”

 

“I’ll finish it soon.”

 

In the end, Caesar ate the whole bowl of soup under Rayan’s watchful eye. Then it was Ines’ turn, caught as she was about to set her dish aside.

 

Rayan noticed and pushed her plate back in front of her. His right hand trembled slightly now and then.

 

His hand movements were unnatural.

 

“…Did you change your bandage?”

 

“Yeah. It got dirty…”

 

He barely touched his food or used his utensils even as the main course was cleared and dessert filled the table. He didn’t seem to feel hunger at all. He just kept his eyes fixed on Ines and Caesar.

 

As if that alone was more than enough.

 

Ines gave him a bright smile and thought to herself:

 

‘…You look happy.’

 

Maybe she would never forget this last supper for the rest of her life.

 

 

After midnight.

 

The room was filled with the subtle scent of sleeping herbs.

 

The bedroom was fully stocked with remedies for Rayan’s days-long insomnia.

 

Soothing incense, prescription sleeping pills from the family doctor, and most importantly, Ines, whom he refused to let go of.

 

Ines traced the lines of the sleeping man’s face with her eyes. Her head and heart were filled with complicated emotions.

 

“…It would’ve been better if we had never met.”

 

She whispered softly, but he didn’t wake. Ines mustered a little courage and gently brushed the silver hair from his forehead.

 

Even now, he looked terribly handsome.

 

It had been eight years since they met, and instead of fading, he looked even more perfect with each passing year.

 

Who would believe a man like this was a father?

 

“You’ll be fine without me.”

 

Rayan had apparently suffered greatly for two years after her death, but he had never really hit rock bottom. Even with Kian ripping out his heart, he still looked strong and beautiful—proof that he’d never truly fallen apart.

 

That was why she had chosen to leave today—when he had finally found certainty in her.

 

Right after he was immersed in happiness, what would he feel when he realized everything he held onto was just an illusion?

 

Would he break even more than before? How much worse would he fall apart? If she could, she wanted to dive into his mind and feel that despair herself.

 

Just imagining how hopeless and painful it would be gave her shivers. How much more would it stir her if she actually experienced it?

 

“I’m a little scared to see what kind of face you’ll have when we meet again… but I still want to know.”

 

Ines leaned toward the man whose face was half-buried in her chest. Her cold lips brushed down his sharp nose.

 

“Sweet dreams, Rayan. Really happy, gentle dreams.”

 

She kissed him.

 

Outside the window, the half-full moon floated in the dark blue sky. It was well past midnight and close to dawn.

 

It was time to move.