It’s Too Late for Regrets - Chapter 13.1

One fortunate thing was that Ines had decided not to go to Jenaire, but to leave for Apael instead.

However, since the ancient ruins in Jenaire’s Imperial City were imbued with Ines’s power, it didn’t seem like Rayan had chosen that place by chance.

How much does he know about the so-called oldest darkness?

Does Rayan know that Ines might be his savior?

There had been a time when Ines talked about that.

<…>

<If, by chance, he really does know, then it means he doesn’t want to be saved by me. Either way, it doesn’t matter. If he knows, then I definitely won’t go to Jenaire.>

<…>

Ines’s determination was firm. That was a relief for Edgar, but at the same time, it left a bitter taste.

Ines choosing to go to Apael meant many things at once.

It meant running away from Rayan. It also meant leaving Lezan forever.

Is that her answer to the confession from that day?

Edgar let out a small laugh. When the three days of heavy rain ended and Ines came out of the forest of Rosram, he told her, “I’ll wait.”

But he knew just waiting wouldn’t be enough to win her heart. Waiting was almost the same as doing nothing.

<You’ll just remain a ‘good person’ to her forever.>

A good person. Always staying as a good person, never changing…

In other words, to leave a deeper mark on Ines than Rayan had, he’d have to become a “bad person” in her eyes.

Truthfully, dark desires had shaken him more than once.

When Ines said everything would be perfect if only she could hold herself back, and her expression slightly betrayed her hidden feelings…

In every moment they shared Wednesday Mass together, Edgar deeply felt the truth of what Rayan once told him: “Sometimes, to get what you want, you have to let go of goodness.”

A beautiful cage suited someone who insisted on taking the hard road.

The one who reached out first and caged the bird became its master.

But every time that thought popped up without warning, what also came to mind—ironically—was Rayan’s voice again.

“…Brother.”

Edgar broke the silence with a faint smile.

“Last time, you told me… not to change.”

At the time, Rayan had his back turned to him, so Edgar didn’t know what expression he had.

But the calm voice, void of hostility or anger, was just like how Rayan used to sound when their brotherly bond was strong. Edgar could tell the words were sincere.

“Yeah.”

The answer from his cousin now wasn’t any different.

“Don’t do it, Edgar.”

“…”

“Don’t.”

His voice was quiet but firm. Edgar slowly asked again.

“You know what I’m thinking?”

“You’re thinking the same as I once did. I can see it in your eyes.”

“You can tell from my eyes…?”

“Yes. The eyes of someone barely holding back.”

“…”

“The kind of eyes that want to just act freely but are forcing themselves not to. Edgar.”

Even when they were boys, Rayan could see right through Edgar like a ghost.

Though they had been nearly estranged for years, Edgar still felt like a young boy in front of him.

After a moment of silence, Edgar changed the subject.

“It seems like it’s about time you returned to the principality.”

“Are you kicking me out?”

Rayan let out a small laugh.

“What, trying to chase me away from Randeva?”

In that short line was the clear message: You can’t. Even commoner children knew that Lezan was saved by Eleanor.

Eleanor had been Lezan’s sharpest weapon for hundreds of years. But if handled poorly, that weapon could easily turn and cut down its master.

But Edgar knew how to control the ruler of such a principality. Ines wasn’t the only one who could destroy Rayan’s composure.

“Ah, maybe I should be clearer. It’s not that you’re not returning to the principality—it’s that you can’t.”

At Edgar’s casually thrown comment, Rayan’s lips stiffened slightly. This topic favored Edgar.

“Are you afraid, brother?”

“Because you can’t imagine what might happen if Ines returns to your country?”

“….”

“Then you can never go back to your country. Are you planning to stay in Lezan forever? Leaving the principality empty like that won’t be a wise choice.”

“I didn’t know you cared so much about Eleanor’s well-being.”

Rayan responded a beat late.

“I appreciate it, but you don’t need to worry, Edgar. I didn’t execute those people in the capital’s main square for nothing.”

He was referring to the grand executions that had taken place after he returned from conquering Jenaire last autumn. Most of those executed were bold con artists who tried to approach the duke’s palace by claiming to have information about the duchess.

“No citizen of the principality would want to see that happen again. So my country will be completely peaceful for at least a few years.”

Even if the duke was away, the bloody fountain left in the central plaza stood as a symbol of his reign and reminded everyone of the cost. The fear he instilled was not something that would fade in just a few months.

But that missed the point. Edgar gave a faint scoff.

“Go ahead. But don’t you think it’s a bit too simple to assume Ines won’t regain her memories just because you don’t return to the principality? Still, that’s your problem to handle.”

He wondered how Rayan’s expression would change when he realized it was already too late. Ines already hated and despised him.

That thought alone eased Edgar’s troubled heart.

Rayan stared at him with unreadable eyes, then suddenly spoke.

“I envy you, Edgar.”

“What do you mean?”

“Ines looks comfortable when she’s with you.”

“…What?”

A chill ran through his entire body.

The strange sense of satisfaction Edgar had just felt vanished instantly. For a moment, he even forgot how to breathe.

“She doesn’t talk to me for more than five minutes, but with you, she talks for an hour and laughs. She tells you things she doesn’t tell me… It was nice to see.”

Had Rayan seen him and Ines together?

Had he heard their conversations?

No, he hadn’t.

Rayan had never once stepped inside La Celia Cathedral. From Ines and Archbishop Andrea’s conversation, Edgar knew Rayan avoided the cathedral because of Kian.

But then, how did he know?

Did he plant someone there? But every time Ines visited the cathedral, Edgar’s men had been guarding it tightly. Even those entering the cathedral were pre-approved by Edgar himself.

There was no room for a spy. So how?

Rayan continued in a dull tone.

“You never crossed the line. I want to try that now, but it’s not as easy as I thought.”

The hidden balance had completely shifted. With a self-mocking smile, Rayan tapped the table with his index finger.

“Sometimes I still think of her as mine. Only mine. So of course, she should stay in my territory.”

“….”

“I start to believe it’s only right that there’s not a single thing about Ines I don’t know.”

Damn it.

Edgar bit the inside of his lip hard to keep it from showing.

Just how much did Rayan know? At worst, he might’ve even heard everything from the conversation between Edgar and Archbishop Andrea in the clergy room.

Then was it all exposed?

“Of course, Ines hates that kind of thing, so I’ve been trying not to. Doing my best, really.”

At that, Edgar finally let out a breath. But the moment he realized he was relieved, he also realized he had already been pulled in.

While he held back a dizzy sigh, Rayan withdrew his hand from the table.

“Respect, consideration, trust… I try, but it doesn’t work well. Maybe if I stay alert I could manage it, but honestly, I lose control more often than not. I don’t even know when I’ll do something she hates again.”

Screech. The chair scraped back with a grating sound.

Edgar felt a heavy gaze fall diagonally from above. His hand under the table flinched unconsciously.

Somehow, the peaceful green eyes were now tinged with a sharp hostility.

A strange light flashed in them.

“So don’t do it, Edgar. Whatever it is you’re trying to do behind my back right now. I have no intention of letting it slide.”

“…”

“You just stay right there, Edgar. Don’t change… Don’t try to do anything.”

The look on Rayan’s face as he said those words seemed to declare that there was no place for Edgar to step in.

Don’t do anything.

Don’t do anything that might shake what’s between him and her… As if everything was already in the palm of his hand. As if he knew every shallow trick Edgar might try…

Even though Edgar glared at him with sharp, icy eyes, Rayan didn’t look cautious, nor did he return the fierce gaze.

He simply looked at Edgar with the same eyes he would use for a younger cousin, then soon turned away from the round table without hesitation.

Soon, the only sound that filled the empty conference room was the echo of fading footsteps.

Edgar only ran a rough hand over his face after Rayan had completely disappeared through the open door. He collapsed into the grand throne-like chair behind him.

He let out a bitter laugh in disbelief.

“Ha… haha.”

A bad feeling crept over him.

The balance of power he thought had been pulled tight and even all along—maybe it had already been leaning to one side for quite some time.

He was being completely played.

Bang.

His fist hit the table with a loud thud, trembling with tightly packed rage.

“…If that’s how you want to do this, then I have no choice either.”

He had been thinking all wrong. Instead of locking up innocent Ines and hiding her away, he should’ve started by smashing the cage.

There was no reason to foolishly fall for temptation and make the same mistake as his cousin.

Ines would escape from Rayan, and the cage called Eleanor would be shattered into pieces.

That was his role.